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Richard Daly (Michael’s Sound Bite 8-3): Overcoming shyness: (a) figure out what causes shyness and practice mental mantras that will help you in these situations; (b) build your confidence by stating what you know well, learn more things every day; (c) learn to look and act approachable; (d) set clear SMART goals for yourself; (e) make new friends; (f) try and do things you had never done before; (g) do not compare yourself to others; (h) follow the rules but do not overdo it (From http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Shyness)
Deeply entrenched shyness is a psychological problem.
(Michael’s Sound Bite 8-4): Overcoming loneliness: (a) study in groups; (b) take walks with someone; (c) find a new special someone; (d) focus on tasks instead of people, don’t get anchored to people who can’t always be with you; (e) start a project with someone. http://www.2knowmyself.com/loneliness/overcoming_loneliness
Deeply entrenched loneliness is a psychological problem.
DISCUSSION STARTER 6: In what ways, if any, has shyness affected your communication? Your relationships? Has shyness ever led you to become lonely? What communication plans might help you overcome shyness and alleviate loneliness?
Defensiveness refers to providing incompetent messages in response to suggestions, criticism and perceived slights. James Alexander: Defensiveness comes in four types: (a) dogmatic messages (I am always right); (b) superiority messages (I have special knowledge, ability and status, higher than my interlocutor); (c) indifference messages (suggestion is irrelevant, uninteresting, unimportant); (d) control messages (squelching criticism by controlling the individual or the context.
Defensiveness is instinctive. Therefore: (a) practice preventive anger management strategies (encounter avoidance or restructuring); (b) use reappraisal and the Jefferson strategy; (c) check perceptions; (d) use rhetorical, not conventional or expressive messages.
Deeply entrenched defensiveness is a psychological problem.
DISCUSSION STARTER 7: Recall a situation in which you were offered a suggestion, advice, or criticism and you reacted defensively. What caused your reaction? What were the outcomes of your defensive communication? How could you have prevented a defensive response?
Dominic Infante: Verbal aggression is the tendency to attack others’ self-concepts rather than their positions in conversation. Verbally aggressive people: (a) denigrate other people’s character, abilities or physical appearance; (b) use profanities; (c) express aggression through behaviors, such as mocking, making rude gestures, or assaulting.
Aggression stems from several factors: (a) is a temporary mental state due to stress, exhaustion, frustration or anger; (b) helps us achieve short-term goals; (c) appears effective in retrospect and analysis of other people’s behavior.
Therefore, to combat aggression you must address root causes: (a) is it stress from the job, a troubled relationship or a family conflict? (b) is it related to chronic hostility?
Dominic Infante: Tips for handling aggression: (a) avoid teasing, baiting or insulting; (b) minimize contact with the aggressive person; (c) remain polite, express empathy, do not attack; (d) end the interaction.
Often-occurring and abusive verbal aggression may present a psychological and/or a legal problem.
DISCUSSION STARTER 8: Think of encounters you’ve had with verbally aggressive people. How have you handled them? Did your approach work? What alternatives might have produced better results?
Practice
I. Opening Story: Starting the Discussion
A. Michael’s Instructions: While not obligatory for reading, the opening story in each chapter sets the mood for the rest of the reading. Stephen chooses stories that relate to several concepts in the chapter and talks about these concepts in general terms.
B. Read the opening story and identify three concepts from the chapter that characterize the communication process in the situation.
C. Then: (a) think of similar examples in your life, (b) remember the actions that the hero of the story, you, and other people around you took when they faced the situation; (c) think of the ways these actions influenced everyone involved; (d) suggest the ways which your naïve knowledge of communication offered you as remedies for whatever did not work in communication in that particular instance; (e) discuss how your scientific knowledge of communication changes your perception, and list three things that you would do now if you faced a similar situation in the future
D. An essay on the opening story can be used as an extra credit opportunity. If you would like to get more points, write a six-paragraph essay answering the questions above in good paragraphs (1 opening sentence, 2-3 main idea sentences, 1 summary and transition sentence). Make note that although this assignment is long and fairly difficult, you will be given only 10 points for it. The reason for it is that the extra credit points must be extra hard to get.
PUBLIC FIGURE STORY
Cesar Chavez never earned more than $6,000 a year. When he died on April 23, 1993, Chavez left no savings, yet he had transformed the lives of thousands. Through his interpersonal communication competence, Chavez persuaded powerful people to act on behalf of the poorest laborers in America.
During the Great Depression, Chavez’s family suffered financial ruin. Leaving their hereditary homestead in Arizona, the Chavezes traveled across the Southwest as migrant workers.
Conditions were intolerable. Regularly doused with pesticides by crop-dusting airplanes, workers had to use shorthandled hoes that forced them to bend over for hours, which inflicted spinal injuries. Although young Cesar’s home life was poor in material terms, it was interpersonally rich. Cesar’s mother, Juana, taught him to communicate toward others with kindness, regardless of their background or beliefs. In the late 1940s, Chavez read works by Gandhi, St. Francis, and St. Paul, as well as books on the labor movement. These writings bolstered his belief in the importance of interpersonal communication, in labor unions as a means for achieving social justice, and in nonviolence. Chavez rallied migrant workers to form a union. From the outset, laborers were inspired by Chavez’s word-craft. When he boldly told Euro-American politicians, “It is ironic that those who till the soil, cultivate and harvest the fruits, vegetables, and other foods that fill your tables with abundance have nothing left for themselves,” workers knew they had a leader who could communicate in ways that would achieve social justice on their behalf.
In 1962, Chavez founded the National Farm Workers Association, which later became the United Farm Workers (UFW), one of the most powerful unions in the country. Chavez organized strikes and marches protesting work conditions. Although landowners attacked him and his fellow workers with shotguns and dogs, he steadfastly maintained his ethic of nonviolence. His patience and perseverance paid off in the form of legislation ensuring fieldworkers better working conditions and higher wages. In 1975, the U.S. Supreme Court outlawed use of the short-handled hoe.
Although Chavez’s successes were public and political, they derived from his interpersonal competence. One UFW volunteer recalled a chance encounter she had with Chavez in Washington, D.C. After delivering a speech, Chavez was ushered away by his bodyguards. When he saw workers who had been volunteering at UFW tables all day, he veered toward them, even as his guards tried to force him toward his car. Chavez shook the workers’ hands, saying, “I noticed how you stayed here all day and worked so hard. It is because of you there is a movement. I may be the one who does the speaking, but it is you who make the movement what it is!” The volunteer marveled that Chavez— who by then had attracted worldwide renown—”took the time to learn about each of us; our names, backgrounds, who we were and what we did. I will never forget his humility and kindness.”
Before and after his death, Cesar Chavez received many honors, including the Aguila Azteca—the highest civilian award in Mexico—and the U.S. Presidential Medal of Freedom. But his legacy is not just of an American dedicated to justice, nonviolence, and help for the needy. It’s proof of the power of interpersonal competence, which can enable any of us to translate the most honorable of personal intentions into interpersonal actions that change the world. Expressed in the simple elegance of Chavez’s personal motto, Si se puede—”It can be done.”
II. Terms
In your essays for this course it is very important to use the terminology of communication science. Therefore, take time to learn the terms and their meanings in each chapter. In the face-to-face version of this course, various interactive techniques will be used to test your knowledge of the major terms. In the online version of the class you will review the terms independently. Make sure you use the terms referred to below in your essays.
| Appropriateness Attributional complexity Defensive messages, control Defensive messages, dogmatic Defensive messages, indifference Defensive messages, superiority DIE model Disinhibition Effectiveness Ethical communication Ethnocentrism High self-monitors Interpersonal competence | Low self-monitors Messages, conventional Messages, expressive Messages, rhetorical Obstacles, communication apprehension Obstacles, defensiveness Obstacles, loneliness Obstacles, shyness Obstacles, verbal aggression Stage of competence, action Stage of competence, knowledge Stage of competence, skills World-mindedness |
III. Names
It is very important to remember the names of scholars who contributed to communication theory. Your essays will sound more professional if you make reference to the people mentioned in this brochure. In the face-to-face version of this course, and in the audio lectures that accompany the online version of this course the names of these scholars will be routinely used to refer to various concepts. Study the names of communication scholars and try to remember their contribution to the science.
| Alexander, James Daly, Richard Flores, Lisa Infante, Dominic Koester, Jolene Kupach, William Lustig, Myron | Martin, Judith McCroskey, James Nakayama, Thomas O’Keefe, Barbara Rubin, Donald Spitzberg, Brian Snyder, Mark Suler, John |
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| II. Improving Communication Competence | | | DISCUSSION QUESTIONS |