II. Improving Communication Competence

DISCUSSION STARTER 3: Read the story presented by Steve on p. 259. How would you respond to Ron? Do you think Ron would be more or less likely to get his work done as a result of your approach? How would other group members judge your skills as group leader, based on how you dealt with Ron?

1. Barbara O’Keefe: when we justify incompetent behavior, we send out messages of three kinds: (a) expressive; (b) conventional, (c) rhetorical.
   
   
2. Expressive messageshave the purpose of conveying what you think and feel so that others will know.
   
   
3. Conventional messages emphasize effectiveness: people cite social norms, rules and obligations.
   
   
4. Rhetorical messages signal an attempt to solve the problem.

III. Using Rhetorical Messages

1. Address the situation in a neutral and non-judgmental ways; express empathy in the form of perspective-taking and concern; open doors to negotiation.
   
   
2. Rhetorical messages are more competent that conventional or expressive messages. Practice rhetorical messages by incorporating the four characteristics: (a) stating things in a non-judgmental fashion, (b) expressing empathy concern; (c) offer specific solutions, and (d) open doors to communication.
   
   

IV. Improving Your Competence Online

1. Online communication provides important benefits: (a) allows us to meet and form friendships and romances with people we would have never met; (b) helps us maintain established relationships; and (c) bolsters our sense of community.
   
   
2. Online communication norms are looser than in everyday life. We encounter online disinhibition, when people disclose and communicate much more openly online; this helps foster new relationships by asking more open and personal questions. However, this also gives way to flaming, inappropriately aggressive messages that people would not usually say face to face.
   
   
3. John Suler: To improve communication competence online: (a) make the gravity of the message medium; (b) don’t assume that online communication is more efficient; (c) know the code; (d) presume your audience is much larger than you intended, (e) practice making drafts of your messages; (f) be wary of the emotionally seductive qualities of online communication; (g) talk to new people.

DISCUSSION STARTER 4: Have you ever shared personal information during an online encounter, only to regret it later? What information did you disclose? What consequences did you suffer? What lessons did you learn about the risks associated with online disinhibition?

V. What is Intercultural Competence?

1. Intercultural competence is required, given the increasingly more intercultural world.

1. Donald Rubin: In intercultural competence, the same rules as in interpersonal competence apply: the speaker must be (a) appropriate; (b) effective; and (c) ethical.
   
   
2. World-minded people demonstrate acceptance and respect toward other cultures’ beliefs, values and customs. World mindedness is practiced in three ways: (a) understand that your interlocutors’ interpersonal communication is just as natural for them in their culture; (b) do not judge other cultures as being better or worse; (c) consistently show respect to people of other cultures.
   
   
3. Jolene Koester, Myron Lustig add more characteristics of world-mindedness (Michael’s Sound Bite 8-1): (a) get to know more; (b) perform the roles you are offered in a different culture; (c) follow the relationship rules that are offered in a different culture; (d) smile, show respect and provide friendly gestures.

DISCUSSION STARTER 5: How do you perceive people whose beliefs, attitudes, and values appear to differ from yours? What challenges do you face in trying to empathize with such people? How might you communicate with them in a nonjudgmental and respectful fashion?

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