Helicopter mom

Robyn Lewis homeschooled her sons, but now that they attend college it doesn’t mean her involvement in their lives has lessened (ABCnews.go.com, 2005). She creates daily “to do” lists for each, checks their grades and bank accounts online, proofreads their papers, and screens their e-mail. “It’s nice to have someone who serves as a secretary mom,” says son Brendan. Robyn’s response? “I think that’s great—a secretary helps keep the boss focused and organized, right?”

In the United States, people have different views of how families should balance autonomy with connection, and these differences often cut along class lines. Middle- and upper-income parents (such as Lewis) are more inclined to view their role as cultivating their children’s talents in a highly orchestrated fashion (Lareau, 2003).

Organized activities, created and controlled by parents, dominate children’s lives. In extreme form, children have little or no autonomy, as parents “hover” over all aspects of their lives like helicopters. Lower-income parents, however, tend to view their role as allowing their children to mature without adult interference (Lareau, 2003). Children often have more independence in their leisure activities—free to roam their neighborhoods and play with friends, for example—as opposed to participating in scripted “play dates.”And when they enter college or the work world, their parents continue to let them develop primarily on their own.

Public elementary and secondary schools in the United States strongly endorse intense connection between parents and children, and they structure their curricula and school-related activities accordingly (Lareau, 2003). But many believe that such intense connectedness does a disservice to children, especially as they mature (Strauss, 2006). For instance, Linda Walter, administrator at Seton Hall University, maintains that “many young adults entering college have the academic skills they need to succeed, but are lacking in self-reliance” (Strauss, 2006).

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

• To what degree did your parents or caregivers emphasize your connection to them as you grew up? How did they encourage your autonomy?

• How has your parents’ or caregivers’ approach to balancing autonomy and connection influenced their relationship with you now? Are they “helicopters”?

• What are the advantages and disadvantages of the way your parents or caregivers balanced your connection with them and your autonomy?

Film: Legends of the Fall

Set in the Rocky Mountains of Montana in the early 1900s, this is a tale of love, betrayal, and brotherhood. After being discharged, Colonel Ludlow decides to raise his three sons in the wilds of Montana, where they can grow up away from the government and society he has learned to despise. The three brothers mature and seem to have an unbreakable bond, until Susanna enters their lives. When Samuel, the youngest of the three, returns from college he brings with him his beautiful fiancée, Susanna. The eldest son, Alfred, soon finds himself in love with his brother's fiancée, and things get worse when he discovers a growing passion between Susanna and Tristan. Colonel Ludlow's favorite son, Tristan is willful and as wild as the mountains. As the brothers set out to fight a war in Europe, suspicion and jealousy threatens to tear apart their once indestructible bond.

Please read the assignment carefully and write a good paragraph in response to each of the questions, referring to at least ONE concept in each of the paragraphs.

1. What kind(s) of a family(ies) do we see in this epic film?

2. How do they maintain and manage their relationships?

3. How does their culture influence their relationships?

4. How do their environment and their friendships shape their communication?

5. What are the three lessons we can draw from their communication and use in our life today?

Дата добавления: 2015-10-30