X. Influence of Gender, Culture and Technology on Conflict

1. Gender and Conflict

As we grow, we are socialized into a certain conflict management behavior suitable for men and for women. Women: (a) avoid conflict; (b) suppress their goals; (c) accommodate others. Therefore, women are seldom equipped to handle conflict. Men: (a) learn to be competitive; (b) taught not to harm women.

Usual gender conflict routine is demand-withdraw: women pursue conflict by demanding that her goals are met; men withdraw from the interaction.

Julia Wood: The usual cure is, with women: to (a) clarify goals; (b) never assume that no conflict exists due to absence of expressed struggle; with men: (a) be aware of men’s competitive nature; (b) stress collaboration; (c) avoid personal criticism, insults or threats.

DISCUSSION STARTER 7: What differences do you think exist in how men and women deal with conflict? How do your beliefs about these differences shape your approach to conflict with men? With women?

1. Culture and Conflict

Stella Ting-Toomey: The largest conflict influence is whether the person is a collectivist or an individualist. Collectivists: (a) view direct messages as personal attacks; (b) more likely to manage conflict through avoidance or accommodation. Individualists: (a) feel comfortable agreeing to disagree; (b) don't see such clashes as personal affronts.

William Gudykunst & Young Yun Kim: Advice to individualists in conflict with collectivists.

• Recognize third-person mediation as an option;
• Help the other person save face;
• Closely observe nonverbal and implied verbal messages;
• Use indirect messages;
• Let go of the situation if the other does not recognize it.

Advice to collectivists in conflict with individualists:

• Recognize that conflicts are separate from people;
• Focus on issues, not personalities;
• Use assertive style and be more direct, use I messages and state your opinions;
• Provide more verbal feedback;
• Manage conflicts instead of avoiding them.

DISCUSSION STARTER 8: Consider a conflict you’ve had that was complicated because of cultural differences. What specific differences amplified the conflict? How might knowledge of culture have helped you better understand what was happening and resolve the conflict more effectively?

C. Conflict and Technology

Kali Munro: When encountering a conflict situation online:

1. Wait and reread;
2. Assume the best and watch out for the worst;
3. Seek outside counsel;
4. Weigh your options carefully;
5. Communicate competently.

Practice

I. Opening Story: Starting the Discussion

A. Michael’s Instructions: While not obligatory for reading, the opening story in each chapter sets the mood for the rest of the reading. Stephen chooses stories that relate to several concepts in the chapter and talks about these concepts in general terms.

B. Read the opening story and identify three concepts from the chapter that characterize the communication process in the situation.

C. Then: (a) think of similar examples in your life, (b) remember the actions that the hero of the story, you, and other people around you took when they faced the situation; (c) think of the ways these actions influenced everyone involved; (d) suggest the ways which your naïve knowledge of communication offered you as remedies for whatever did not work in communication in that particular instance; (e) discuss how your scientific knowledge of communication changes your perception, and list three things that you would do now if you faced a similar situation in the future

D. An essay on the opening story can be used as an extra credit opportunity. If you would like to get more points, write a six-paragraph essay answering the questions above in good paragraphs (1 opening sentence, 2-3 main idea sentences, 1 summary and transition sentence). Make note that although this assignment is long and fairly difficult, you will be given only 10 points for it. The reason for it is that the extra credit points must be extra hard to get.

REALITY SHOW CONFLICT

In 2008, African American activist Kevin Powell announced his intention to run for the U.S. Congress, representing the 10^th district in Brooklyn, New York (he lost the primary to the incumbent). The next month, MTV revealed that the 21^st season of the reality series The Real World would also be filmed in Brooklyn. The two announcements formed a strange coincidence. Sixteen years earlier, Kevin had been a cast member in the show’s first season.

The producers of The Real World select people with conflict and power struggles in mind. In the show’s first season in 1992, they housed Kevin—a longtime activist against racial injustice—with several other participants, including Julie. The youngest, most naïve cast member, Julie was an 18-year-old European American from Alabama. Upon hearing another roommate’s beeper, she asked, “Do you sell drugs?”

Within the season’s first few weeks, a bitter argument erupted between Kevin and Julie. Crying hysterically, Julie explains to two other loft mates that she and Kevin had a fight about a phone call and that Kevin threw a candleholder at her. She is afraid of Kevin, thinks he is crazy, and never wants to be alone with him again. Kevin denies brandishing the candleholder and insists that the fight wasn’t his fault. Julie was rude to him first, he contends. Later at a party, the conflict breaks out again with Julie shouting at Kevin, “What are you going to do, hit me?!”

The conflict between Kevin and Julie sparked intense viewer interest, as it cut across lines of gender, power, and ethnicity. Who was to blame—Kevin or Julie? After the show aired, communication researchers Mark Orbe and Kiesha Warren (2000) had groups of European American and African American women and men watch the episode and discuss their perceptions.

Although participants viewed the same episode, each group perceived a different conflict.

European American women saw Kevin as the aggressor who used his physical strength to wield power over Julie. “Race was irrelevant,” said these women. “Not so,” maintained the African American women in the study, who felt the conflict was all about race. Although Julie and Kevin were equally aggressive, the fight escalated because Julie played the “powerless victim.” As one of the African American women said, “I think the ‘big black guy’ perception did play a part, and he wasn’t even physically big, so the stereotype was there” (Orbe & Warren, 2000, p. 54).

African American male participants agreed that race was an issue, but said the differences between Kevin’s and Julie’s ages and backgrounds played the largest role in the conflict. In contrast to all other groups, European American men thought the problem had nothing to do with power or race. They believed it was a personality clash. The four groups in Orbe and Warren’s study viewed the same dispute, but each made distinctly different judgments about the protagonists’ interpersonal communication, the role of power in shaping their interactions, and the meaning of the conflict itself. And although the first season of The Real World has receded into pop-culture memory, and the cast members have moved on to bigger and better things, the study’s findings reveal the fundamentally subjective nature of conflict. For participants and witnesses alike, the nature of Julie and Kevin’s battle lay very much in the eyes of the beholders. Yet, for all the variation in viewpoints, one point of perceptual agreement was shared: had Kevin and Julie both communicated more effectively with one another, they might have constructively managed their disagreements and therefore prevented things from spiraling out of control.

II. Terms

In your essays for this course it is very important to use the terminology of communication science. Therefore, take time to learn the terms and their meanings in each chapter. In the face-to-face version of this course, various interactive techniques will be used to test your knowledge of the major terms. In the online version of the class you will review the terms independently. Make sure you use the terms referred to below in your essays.

Conflict Conflict parts, expressed struggle Conflict parts, interdependence Conflict parts, interference in goals Conflict parts, interference in life Conflict parts, lack of resources Conflict resolution, long-term Conflict resolution, short-term Conflict styles, accommodation Conflict styles, avoidance Conflict styles, collaboration Conflict styles, competition Conflict styles, compromise Conflict, collectivistic Conflict, individualistic Currency, expertise

Currency, intimacy High power distance Low power distance Currency, network Currency, personal Currency, resource Demand-withdraw model Dynamic model of relationships Gender stereotypes Online conflict Power Power currencies Power, complementary Power, symmetrical Unsolvable conflicts Unsolvable conflicts, defusing

III. Names

It is very important to remember the names of scholars who contributed to communication theory. Your essays will sound more professional if you make reference to the people mentioned in this brochure. In the face-to-face version of this course, and in the audio lectures that accompany the online version of this course the names of these scholars will be routinely used to refer to various concepts. Study the names of communication scholars and try to remember their contribution to the science.

Berscheid, Ellen Colt, Robert Donohue, William Drozdova, Natalya Fisher, Aubrey Gudykunst, William Hocker, Joyce Hofstede, Geert Killman, Ralph Kim, Young Yun King, Eden Kramarae, Cheris

Melnikov, Gleb Millar, Frank Munro, Kali Rogers, Edna Satir, Virginia Sharova, Maria Sillars, Alan Thomas, Kenneth Ting-Toomey, Stella Wilmot, Bill Wood, Julia

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