Communicating positivity

This exercise helps you communicate positivity, openness, and assurances to your family.

➊ Think of a family member with whom you would like to strengthen your bond.

➋ Identify ways you might use positivity, such as surprising this person with a compliment or commending her or him for helping the family.

➌ List ideas for establishing openness—things you can say that will encourage this person to share her or his concerns and that will demonstrate that you’re an empathic listener.

➍ Determine how you might use assurances to convey how important this family member is to you.

➎ For your next encounter, develop a communication plan that incorporates the best of your ideas.

CHANGING AVOIDANCE IN FAMILIES

This exercise helps you change family communication rules regarding an important issue that’s being avoided.

➊ Identify an important issue that your family currently avoids discussing.

➋ Select one family member who might be open to talking about this concern.

➌ Initiate a discussion with this person, using competent and cooperative language.

➍ Mutually create a plan for how the issue can be raised with other family members and what exactly you both will say.

➎ Implement your plan, one additional family member at a time.

MAINTAINING LONG-DISTANCE FRIENDSHIPS

This exercise helps you maintain long-distance friendships through online communication.

➊ Think of a good friend who lives far away.

➋ In your online interactions, focus your message content on interests you share in common, making sure to ask about your friend’s continued participation in these things.

➌ Send text messages letting your friend know you’re thinking of and missing her or him.

➍ Craft e-mails that have no purpose other than to fondly recap experiences you’ve shared in the past.

➎ Forward to your friend Web links with ideas for future activities you can share together.

➏ When your friend discloses major life changes that she or he is excited about, provide support in the quickest fashion possible, whether by text message, e-mail, phone call, or all three.

VII. Extra Credit: Quiz

Take one of these quizzes and write a one-page reflection on your results referring to at least THREE concepts in the chapter (10 points).

Quiz 1: Communication Patterns in the Family

Place a check mark next to each statement with which you agree. Then check your score to determine your family communication pattern.

Conversation Orientation

______ In my family, we often talk about our plans and hopes for the future.

______ We frequently talk as a family about the things we have done during the day.

______ My parents tend to be very open about their emotions.

______ I really enjoy talking with my parents, even when we disagree.

______ My parents and I often have long, relaxed conversations about nothing in particular.

______ In our family, we often discuss our feelings together.

______ I can tell my parents almost anything.

______ My parents often ask my opinion when the family is talking about something important.

______ My parents frequently say things like, “Every member of this family should have some say in decisions.”

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