Chapter 3 24 страница

"No, it doesn't," Kylie admitted. "But there are some people in your life who won't be so supportive. I can't imagine David or his mother will think this is a cause for celebration."

Blair's eyes closed and she slapped herself on the forehead. "Oh, God, Sadie!"

Kylie cocked her head and asked, "You're more worried about Sadie than David?"

"Sure. Sadie's gonna be in my life. She wants to have a relationship with the baby. But odds are, I won't see David much if at all. Besides, what's he gonna do? Divorce me?" She made a dismissive motion with her hand. "His opinion doesn't matter to me anymore. He obviously doesn't care if I live or die. Fuck him."

Kylie smiled at her, always enjoying it when feisty Blair reared her head. "I know you don't care about his opinion, but you don't wanna hurt him, do you?"

"Not intentionally, but I'm not gonna ask his permission to do what I want."

Gently scratching Blair's neck and shoulder, Kylie asked softly, "Don't you think he'll be hurt when he hears about this? Someone will tell him, you know."

"Oh, fuck me!" Blair put her forehead on Kylie's knee and growled. When she lifted her chin, she pretended to gnaw on the doctor's leg. "I don't wanna be nice. I want him to find out in a public place and wet himself."

Kylie stroked her hair, smiling at the fire that sparked in Blair's eyes. "Nobody would blame you if you didn't tell him. He really doesn't deserve much consideration."

"But you know I'll tell him now that you've brought it up." She pinched her thigh, and when Kylie yelped, she said, "I owe you about twenty more, but I won't deliver them all at once."

"Admit it," the brunette said. "You're a nice person, and you don't want to cause him pain or embarrassment."

Blair laughed wryly. "I'm not sure that's true, but I will tell him. Besides, it'll make me feel superior to be adult about this."

"That's my girl. Selfless to a fault."

"So, are we done?" Blair asked. "I don't wanna have to contact my friends from high school, but I will put an announcement in the Northwestern alumni magazine if you want me to."

"Oh, like people necessarily know how to read when they graduate from Northwestern," Kylie said, earning a much harder pinch this time. "Ow! Hey, don't bruise me!" She rubbed her leg and said, "Now we have to talk about the person who could suffer the most by your being in a lesbian relationship."

"I've already thought about the single men in Los Angeles who'll never get a chance to be with me. They'll just have to chase someone else. I'm yours." She crossed her arms upon Kylie's knees and rested her chin on them, then gave the doctor a sickeningly sweet smile.

"I mean Mackenzie," Kylie said. "This is gonna have a massive, lasting impact on him, Blair. You can't just shrug it off."

"Kylie, I've thought about this — a lot. There are really only two options. Mackenzie can have two parents, or he can have one. I think it's better for him to have two. Yes, I know he'll have some tough times, and I know he'll be teased and maybe even shunned by some kids. But I think the benefits of having two parents outweighs all of that — I really do."

"So … you want me to co-parent with you? That's a huge step, Blair. Really huge!"

"I know," she said, gazing into Kylie's eyes. "And I realize that I'm asking you to skip some really big steps — like dating." She smiled back at the crooked grin Kylie was giving her. "Do you mind jumping from friends to co-parents in one big leap?"

"No, I guess not, although it does sound a little crazy when you put it like that."

"It does," Blair agreed. "And it is a little crazy. But I think this'll work out, Kylie. I think it can work out for all of us."

The doctor nodded, her expression very thoughtful. "It wouldn't bother me to jump right into being a parent. But I would like to have a little while where it's just the two of us. We're not just gonna be co-parents, Blair. We're gonna be … well, we're gonna be whatever we call ourselves, but our relationship has to be rock solid for us to be good parents. This is a lifetime commitment."

"I know that," Blair said, looking equally contemplative. "There's another thing we should discuss."

"What's that?"

"Even though I know this will work, I can't make another ‘till death do us part' vow. I promised that to David, but now I realize that the vow doesn't mean anything. If things turn really bad, you break up. That's the reality, Kylie, and I want to be completely honest with you. All I can promise is that I'll try to be the best partner I can be. I hope to God that we're together for the rest of our lives, but to promise that just isn't realistic." She'd been rubbing Kylie's leg while she spoke, and she could feel the muscles begin to twitch before she was finished. "You don't look like you feel the same way."

Kylie gazed at her for a few moments, then closed her eyes and started to stroke Blair's arm. She was obviously deep in thought, and Blair didn't say a word. She simply waited, with her stomach in knots, watching Kylie try to make a decision that would affect all three of them. "From a logical standpoint, you're right," the doctor said. "Things change, and no one expects a couple to stay together if they grow to hate each other. But this is a big concession for me. A very big one."

"I can see that, just by the expression on your face," Blair said. "You look very conflicted."

"Yeah, that's what I am," Kylie agreed. "I want you, and I want Mackenzie. But I'm eager to make a lifetime commitment to both of you. It might just be words, but they're words that mean a lot to me."

"I understand that," Blair said, "but if you made that commitment, and I robbed you blind and cheated on you, you might just want to break up."

Kylie gave her a half-smile and nodded. "Yeah, I might. I guess it depends on who you were sleeping with."

"Mmm … your sister, Chris."

"Yeah. We're done," Kylie said, her smile growing. "Okay. I see your point. But I've got to know that you intend to be with me forever. Can you promise that?"

"Yes. Absolutely," Blair said. "I fully intend to be with you for the rest of my life, Kylie. I promise you that."

"Are you sure?" Kylie asked, giving her a deadly serious look. "This is a very big decision."

"I'm sure," Blair said. “I'm one hundred percent sure that you're the person I want to be with. And I'm one hundred percent committed to being a very good partner to you."

"I guess there's only one thing to do," Kylie said.

"What's that?"

"Go to bed and worry about the things that I'm sure I've forgotten," Kylie said, smiling warmly. "You know, I shouldn't admit it, but I'm starting to get used to this idea, and it makes me so happy, I feel like dancing."

"Come on," Blair said. She pushed off, using Kylie for support, then held out her hands. "Dance with me."

"Now?" Kylie looked around like she expected music to start playing.

"Yeah, now. C'mere and hold me." Blair grinned sexily. "You know you want to."

"I do," Kylie said. She put her arms around Blair's waist and shivered when the smaller woman pressed her cheek against her breast. "Feels wonderful," she said, threading her fingers through Blair’s hair and gently holding her head there. She started to move, just shuffling her feet across the stone patio. Blair followed her lead, moving slowly with Kylie's body. "It feels so good to hold you," Kylie murmured. "I love having the baby press against me, too." As if he'd been cued, Mackenzie let out a good one, and Kylie's eyes popped open. "I felt him kick!" She held Blair by the shoulders and squeezed her. "I felt him! I finally felt him!"

Blair hugged her tight, overcome by the look of radiant joy on Kylie's face. "I could never have picked a better person to fall in love with. You're the woman I didn't know I'd been looking for."

„G

Kylie closed the door to her room, her heart so full of emotion that she feared it would burst. She leaned against the door for a full minute, trying to get her mind around the idea that she and Blair were about to become lovers.

She was a little light-headed when she started to walk into the bathroom, but she knew it was just a symptom of the giddiness that she felt. Her smile was so wide that her cheeks hurt, but the magic of the evening was so overpowering that she knew it would linger in her heart for the rest of her life.

Damn, if Blair had told me she could only promise that she'd stay with me a month, I still would have agreed once I felt Mackenzie kick, she thought with a smirk. I’m so in love with her that I'd risk my heart for one chance in a thousand to make a life with her.

Instead of going into the bathroom, she opened her window and leaned over a little to rest her arms on the sill. Breathing in the early fall air reminded her that Christmas was coming, and with any luck, Mackenzie would be at home with them to celebrate the New Year. Her mind was filled with an image of the three of them cuddled together on the sofa with her arms tucked around the most important things in her world.

Forcing herself to get ready for bed, she flossed and brushed her teeth, grinning at the goofy expression she couldn't erase from her face. The night was warm, and she pulled the bedspread and the sheet down to the foot of the bed. She climbed in and fluffed one pillow, then molded the other to the perfect size and tucked her arm around it. Not surprisingly, she was too keyed up to even close her eyes, so she gave herself a pep talk. You have a full day scheduled, and then you're gonna come home to Blair. You're gonna need every bit of energy you can summon if things go according to plan, so you'd better turn off that brain and get some sleep. The talk did the trick, and in minutes, she was sound asleep, the goofy grin still plastered across her face.

„G

Next door, Blair was also wound up like a top. When she entered her room she didn’t even considered going to sleep. Instead, she turned on her CD player and lay down on her still-made bed. Her head was resting on her arm, and with the other hand, she stroked and patted her belly, communing with Mackenzie. "I think everything's gonna work out, Mac. Mama Kylie's gonna take a chance on us. I don't know about you, but I feel awfully lucky," she said, speaking in the soft, soothing tone she found that she used just for him.

Her body felt like a weak electric current had been passed through it, and she was still jittery from the jolt. Her hands shook noticeably, and she had to force herself to refrain from her insistent impulse to go next door and climb into bed with Kylie. It had felt so incredibly wonderful to be held and caressed while they danced that she still couldn't believe that Kylie had the fortitude to go straight into her own room. "I guess that's how people get to be doctors, huh, Mackenzie? Commitment and determination."

She smiled thinking about how adorable Kylie had been when she'd felt the baby kick. It was a moment she knew she'd remember for the rest of her life, and her heart ached with tenderness for the gentle woman she loved. "No matter what, she'll always be there for us, Mackenzie. If there's one person in the world you can always count on, it's your Mama Kylie."

With the thought of the smile that had become fixed to Kylie's face, Blair found herself drifting off, still lying atop the neatly made bed, music playing softly in the background.

„G

The next night, Kylie called Blair from her car. "Hi, sorry I've been tied up, but I'm finally on my way home. Do you need me to stop at the store for anything?"

"No, I bought you a great vegetable salad. We’re waiting patiently for you."

"Damn, that sounds nice. Where have you been all my life?"

"I've been a confused straight woman, Doctor. Do you think there's any hope for me?"

Kylie laughed. "Yeah, I think I can help turn you into an even more confused straight woman."

"Hurry home," Blair said. "I'm ready to start."

„G

Kylie got home a few minutes later, and when Blair saw her, she knew she'd had a tough day. She met her by the front door and had her arms around her before Kylie could put her briefcase down. "First, I love you," she said. "Second, you look beat. Go put on something sinfully comfortable and come back here so I can spoil you."

Giving her a squeeze, Kylie said, "I need a shower first. I would have taken one at the hospital, but I wanted to get home sooner. I'm just afraid I'll starve to death if I don't get something to eat in the next thirty seconds."

"Pretty dramatic today, aren't ya?" Blair patted Kylie on the butt. "Go put on your robe and have some dinner. Then you can take your shower."

Kylie looked indecisive, then nodded. "Okay. I'm getting a headache from hunger, and that's just dumb when there's a salad waiting for me."

"A vegetable salad," Blair said, "with all of your favorites."

"Poppy seed dressing?" Kylie asked hopefully.

"Yep. Now scoot!"

„G

Kylie walked into the kitchen just as Blair was sitting down. "Well, this looks delightful," she said. She sat down and gave Blair's shoulder a squeeze. "Is there anything better than coming home from a hard day and having someone tell you she loves you and … and … that she has dinner ready for you?"

"Yes, there is," Blair said, smiling sexily, "but we're not at the point where I can greet you at the door stark naked with a pizza in my hands, ready to worship your body while you eat. But if I get this girlfriend job, I promise I can think of ways to make you never want to leave the house."

"So …" Kylie leaned back in her chair a little and pointed the tines of her fork at the blonde. "You're still interested in the girlfriend job, huh?"

"Oh, yes. I need this job desperately." She leered at her. "I'll do anything, and I do mean anything, to get it."

"You know," Kylie said, "I've never had a pregnant woman look at me like she wanted to chew my clothes off." She nodded thoughtfully. "I like it!"

"If I get the job, I promise to help you fulfill every possible fantasy you've ever had about my pregnant sisters."

"You were never in the circus, were you?" Kylie asked.

"No, but I took gymnastics all through high school. Will that do?"

"Close enough," Kylie said, smiling broadly. She reached out and took Blair's hand. "What's got you so cheery and playful tonight?"

"Well," Blair looked at Kylie for a moment, then let her gaze shift down, lingering a while on the doctor's body. "I thought you might be ready to make up your mind about the girlfriend thing. And if you did, I thought we could … celebrate."

"You're certainly a girl with initiative," Kylie said, tingling a little at the look in Blair's eyes.

"You have no idea." Blair leaned forward and pressed her arms against her breasts, making them nearly pour out of the V-necked sweater she wore.

Kylie's eyes looked as though they'd fly from her head. "I've got a few more questions for you, and then I guess I'm ready." She swallowed, and Blair could see her throat constrict with anxiety.

"More questions? I think I can make you forget your questions, Doctor. Isn't a hands-on demonstration worth more than a few theoretical questions?"

"I … I have some worries," Kylie said. She shifted in her chair and tried to concentrate on her salad. "Uhm … I think I'm convinced that you've thought of all of the practical realities of being in a lesbian relationship, but there are a few … more down to earth issues."

Blair took her hand and noticed that it was trembling a little. "What is it? You can tell me."

"I'm … I don't mean to make this sound crass, but how do you know you'll enjoy having sex with a woman? I mean, it's a very different kinda thing."

Blair blinked at her. "Have you ever had sex with a man?"

"Yeah … kinda," Kylie replied.

"How do you kinda have sex with a man?"

"It's … not that difficult," Kylie said. "I was in high school, and a guy named Ivy talked me into it."

Blair giggled and put up a hand. "No, wait! You had sex with a guy named Ivy? Kylie, that was a girl!"

"He was not!" the doctor huffed. "His name was Chapin Danforth Hollingswood the fourth, and everyone called him IV, like the Roman numerals."

"Lake Forest," Blair said, shaking her head. "Go on, tell me about IV."

"We were in his car, and I was turned on out of my mind," the doctor said. "He had a Porsche, which isn't the best car in the world to have sex in, but he put the top down, and that gave us a little room to maneuver. Anyway, he climbed on top of me, and I somehow managed to get my legs up, and he … couldn't get in."

"He couldn't get in? Was it his first time?"

"Yeah. I was so wet, I'm sure he had a hard time figuring out exactly where to go, so he just kept poking at me and sliding around. It started to hurt like hell! He kept asking if he was in, and I finally said yes, just to get him to stop ramming into my labia."

"Let me guess the happy ending," Blair said. "As soon as he thought he was in, he … finished."

"You got it," Kylie said. "A night to remember."

"Honey, I hate to tell you this, but you haven't really had sex with a man." She smiled at the doctor and took her hand, kissing it tenderly.

"Why does it matter?" Kylie asked.

"It doesn't, really, but I was trying to make a point. This might not be true for most women, but for me, it took a lot of work to figure out how to be sexually satisfied by my male partners. I properly trained every man I ever slept with, and if I do say so myself, I helped each of them to be better lovers."

"So … you think you can do the same for me?" Kylie asked, looking not only confused but slightly offended.

"No, no. That's my point. I'm certainly not an expert, but I think it'll be easier to have good sex with you. You have the same parts I do, and you know how to use them." She raised an eyebrow and asked, "You do know how to use them, don't you?"

"Expertly," Kylie nodded, smiling confidently.

"That's my point. I know how to touch myself, and I can't imagine it'll be that hard to figure out how to touch you. You already know how to make love to a woman, so with your experience and my initiative — we should be set."

"It's not just about technique, Blair," the doctor said.

"I know that, sweetheart. Technique is the least important thing. But if that's an issue for you, you shouldn't worry about it. I'm sure that you'll be able to please me, and I think I'll figure out how to please you. Sex for me is all about touching and stroking and rubbing and finding the things that your partner likes. It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. It's using my body to show my feelings. And I have very strong, very loving feelings for you. This will work out."

"Are you sure?" Kylie asked, her blue eyes fixed on Blair.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now finish your salad, and let's get busy!"

„G

After dinner, Kylie took a shower, and when she emerged, Blair was lying on the doctor's bed, looking about as good as Kylie had ever seen her look. She was wearing a simple, white terry-cloth robe, and she'd obviously showered as well. Her hair was a little damp, and it clung to her creamy white neck which looked long and lovely and very kissable. Her cheeks were pink and freshly scrubbed, and her eyes were clear and alert. She was smiling at Kylie, not in a lascivious way, but in away that made the brunette feel welcome and wanted. "Hi," Kylie said. "You look fantastic." She sat down on the edge of the bed and put her hand on Blair's smooth leg. "I've said it before, but I have to say it again. You are an uncommonly beautiful woman."

"You'd better not say that to all of the uncommonly beautiful women you find in your bed," the blonde said.

"You're the first," Kylie said. "I told my exes they were marginally attractive. That's as high as I've ever gone."

"Such a good liar." Blair ran the tip of her finger along the edge of Kylie's shirt, causing a riot of goose bumps to follow. "You're gonna get overheated. Maybe you'd better take off your outer layer of clothes."

Kylie looked down at herself. She was wearing a white tank top and a pair of blue cotton boxers. "I only have one layer on."

"I know."

Now Blair was giving her "the look," and Kylie had to force herself to stand up to escape the blonde's magnetic pull. "Don't be mad, but I still wanna talk about a few things."

"Come here," Blair said, gesturing for the brunette to come back. Kylie sat down again, and Blair started to stroke her bare leg. "I don't care if we sleep together tonight or tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. I want you to be sure about this, Kylie. I never want to push you into anything you're not ready for."

"Do you understand why I'm concerned about having sex?" she asked, looking so earnest that Blair wanted to kiss her until her eyes crossed.

"Yes, of course I do. You're obviously not very talented in this area, and you don't want me to find out how inept —"

"Don't you even suggest such a thing!" the doctor huffed. "I'm very, very capable in this area, Ms. Spencer, and you're gonna eat those words!"

"I certainly hope so," Blair said, "but if you're not worried about yourself, you must think that I won't be able to please you."

"That's not it at all, Blair! I want to make sure this is something you're really drawn to. What if you don't respond like you think you will? What if you can't get turned on by my body? I'll jump out a window if you don't enjoy our lovemaking."

The blonde lay down and pulled Kylie with her. Kylie's dark head rested on Blair's shoulder, and the smaller woman started to stroke her hair. "You've got to relax about this. I'm sorry that I'm being flip, but I don't have a concern in the world, and it puzzles me that you do."

"I know, I know. I'm not usually a worrier, but …"

"But why now?"

"'Cause this means so much," she said plaintively. "We're making this huge jump from friends to lovers and parents and partners. Life partners. … Life, Blair. It's such a big leap that I'm afraid you're assuming things that might not be true."

“What am I assuming?”

Clearly frustrated, Kylie’s voice rose into a near whine. “You act like everything will be fine. All of a sudden, you’re this huge optimist, and that’s not how you usually are.”

Blair ran her fingertip all along Kylie's jaw, feeling the muscles there tense and release. "We might have a few problems, but it won't be anything we can't work through. This means a lot to me, too, Kylie. But you can't just ask questions and have all of your fears evaporate based on my answers. You have to trust me. You have to put your trust in me and in my knowledge of myself. I'm asking you to take a leap. A leap of faith."

"Blair, I'd leap off a cliff for you." Kylie hugged the smaller woman to herself. "I'm just afraid."

"I know. I know that." They hugged for a long time, each woman feeling secure in the other's embrace. "It'll be all right. I know it will." She pulled back and looked into the deep blue eyes. "I've been fantasizing about you for a while now, and every time I do, I'm so turned on I could burst. I'm ready to stop imagining and start acting."

The doctor's eyes opened wide. "You fantasize about me?"

"Of course I do. Every night." She cocked her head. "Don't you fantasize about me?"

Kylie actually blushed, forcing Blair to stifle alaugh. Her eyes shifted, and she looked like a felon being shown the lie-detector test she'd just failed. "Sometimes."

"Only sometimes?" Blair stared at her lips and slowly drew near. "Only sometimes?" Kylie could feel her warm breath on her mouth, and she squirmed with desire for the smaller woman. "Who else do you fantasize about?"

"No one! I think about you every minute of the day! I can hardly concentrate at work any more, Blair. I've got to make love to you or take a leave of absence!"

Soft kisses greeted Kylie's declaration, and as the kisses continued to flow, her body started to relax. They kissed for a long time — lazy, soft kisses that made Kylie feel loved and very desired.

"God, I love you," the doctor whispered. Her head was resting on a pillow, and she pulled back just enough to look into Blair's eyes. "I know I have to jump in, but I'm so afraid of being hurt."

"I'm afraid, too," Blair said, "but loving you is worth getting past my fears. It's worth anything, Kylie. Anything."

"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me." Blue eyes welled up, and Blair kissed the soft lids.

"It'll all work out. I promise. We'll work at this, Kylie. We'll have problems like any couple does, but we'll work through them because we love each other."

"Promise?"

Дата добавления: 2015-09-04