Chapter 3 18 страница

"How did it happen?"

"Well, your dad took me on a long tour while the other members were getting set up, and we stopped at the percussion section last. The percussionist was a really nice guy, and we hit it off immediately. We started talking about repetitive strain injury, and I looked at his right hand, which has been giving him trouble."

"Always a doctor," Blair teased.

"Hey, the Hippocratic oath doesn't apply to business hours only," she sniffed. "Anyway, I told him I'd talk to somebody I know at U.C.L.A. and see if I can find out who the top hand doc is in the Chicago area."

Blair smiled and asked, "So, since his hand hurt, he decided to turn over the sticks to you?"

"Not hardly. He said I could pull up a chair and sit with him. Damn, Blair, you have no idea how wonderful it is to hear that music when it's being performed right in front of you. I was tapping my feet and squirming around on my stool so much that he could see what a fan I am, and when the rehearsal was over, he asked me if I wanted a lesson on his instruments!"

Blair laughed at the expression on her friend's face. "I can't imagine what force could have compelled you to refuse."

"Exactly!" she said. "He showed me the triangle, and once I mastered it, we moved on to the big boys, and I got to bang on the kettle drums for a while. Those babies are a lot harder to play than they look!"

"Oh, I wish I'd been there," Blair said. "You must've been in heaven."

"I paid one of the union guys a ridiculous amount of money to run out and buy a disposable camera," she said. "Then he took a bunch of pictures for me, so you can see me grinning like a madman."

"Where's Dad?" Blair asked. "I want to give him a hard time for never letting me play."

"Oh, he's taking a nap. Which is what you should be doing. We'll be out late tonight, you know."

"What a slave driver," she said. "It's rest, rest, rest."

"I'm so excited for you, Kylie," Eleanor said. "What a thrill to get to do that."

"You have no idea," the doctor enthused. "This is the best birthday I've ever had."

"It's only gonna get better," Blair said.

„G

"I'd give anything to be able to wear my new jeans tonight," Blair said when she woke from her enforced nap. "I like my dress-up clothes well enough, but they're so businesslike."

"You know, I had a feeling you might feel that way," Kylie said. "That's why I brought something cute for you."

"You did not!"

"I did, too. Take a look in my hanging bag." Blair scampered off the bed and quickly unzipped the big bag. She removed Kylie's black pantsuit, then an ivory satin blouse that didn't look familiar. She held it up, but Kylie shook her head. "No, that's mine. Keep looking."

Reaching inside once again, Blair pulled out a stretchy, black velour, jumpsuit — sleeveless with a scoop neckline. "This is awfully … sexy for a fat woman," Blair said. She was holding it out at a distance, like it might combust …

"You're so far from fat, it's not even funny. All you have is a little thickening in your waist and a roundish tummy. From the front, you don't look pregnant at all. I have to look at you from the side to see the baby."

"I feel fat," she said. "It's been hard for me to lose my waist. I hate to be so vain, but all my adult life I've been very careful to avoid putting on weight, and this is really hitting me in the ego. This twelve pounds feels like fifty."

"I can understand that," Kylie assured her, "but I want you to know that I'd never lie to you about anything — even how you look. You don't look fat in the least, pal, and I'm sure you're going to look decidedly non-maternal in that outfit. But if you don't like it, I'll take it back. No pressure."

"It'll show everything," she said, eying the garment.

"Yeah, it will," Kylie agreed, "but there's a little more in the bag." The other piece was a filmy white shirt, generously cut. The shirt was nearly transparent and bore an attractive, Indian-inspired print. "I really like the blouse," Kylie said. "You should keep it even if you don't like the jumpsuit."

"It's positively gorgeous!" Blair exclaimed. "Help me put it on, okay?"

"All of it?"

"Yep. Might as well hear the screaming and be here rather than on the street."

Blair started to pull the snug jumpsuit on, and Kylie helped her smooth it in place. She added the blouse, and the doctor stood back to inspect. "Wow," Kylie said softly. "I'm speechless."

Grinning shyly, Blair moved to stand in front of the mirror, her smile growing as she looked at her reflection from every angle. "I hate to sound vain, but wow is the right word," she said. "I haven't looked this good since well before I was pregnant."

"Again, I'll disagree," Kylie insisted. "I think you routinely look great, but I'll grant that you look particularly fabulous tonight."

Blair wrapped her in a tight hug. "Thank you, Kylie. Thank you for making me feel like a woman — not a pregnant woman — just a woman."

"A beautiful woman," Kylie insisted, "who gets more beautiful every day."

„G

Eleanor had to leave for the theatre at 6:00, and Werner had to leave by 6:30, so they were unable to join Kylie and Blair at dinner. They agreed that they'd all meet for dessert after the symphony. Riding down Lake Shore Drive in a cab, Kylie leaned back against her seat and stared at the lake. "I remember driving down here when I was a kid, thinking that one day, I'd live by the lake. The water was always such a draw for me."

"Is that why you picked California?" Blair asked.

"Yeah, pretty much. I loved the lake, but there was something so appealing about a body of water that stretched all the way to other continents," she said. "I don't go in the water much in L.A., but having it nearby really calms me down."

"Is that why you walk me up and down the Palisades so often?" Blair asked.

"Yep. I figure that if it calms me down, it'll calm you down, too."

"It does. Walking along the ocean is one of my favorite parts of the day. I'm definitely hooked."

"Will a stroll down Michigan Avenue do instead? We should have time for a little walk after dinner."

"Sure. For a change, I can walk down a fashionable street and feel like I fit in. My new outfit is tres chic."

„G

They dined at one of Kylie's favorite restaurants — the venerable Chicago institution her parents had taken her to when she'd graduated from college. "This place hasn't changed a bit," she said, deeply satisfied. "I haven't been here since I was twenty-two, but it's as fabulous as I remember."

"Special dinners must have set your family back a fortune," Blair said.

"Not really. My parents established a tradition that you got to go out to a restaurant with them alone for important milestones. It seems silly, but it was always a big treat not to have all of the siblings around. It really made you feel kinda special."

"You're making me feel happier and happier about having been an only child."

"No, I don't mean to do that," Kylie insisted. "There were plenty of times I wished I were an only child, but there were some things about having siblings that were really great. When I was young, there was always someone to play with — even on a rainy day. And it was nice to have someone who'd just learned a concept in school help you with your homework. Yeah, I had to be the guinea pig sometimes," she chuckled, "but generally we had a lot of fun together."

"I guess there's something to be said for it, whatever size your family is," Blair said.

"Oh, and I'm glad that I had an older sister who was gay," Kylie said. "Chris had a hellish time, but things were really easy for me."

"You know, you've never told me what it was like for you. Wanna talk about it?"

"Sure. As I said, it was a piece of cake for me, but not for my poor sister. Chris came out to our parents when she was a senior in college, and they did everything but send her to a de-programmer."

"Really? What was their issue with it?"

"I'm not sure. I mean, I was only nine, so I didn't understand half of what was going on, but the older kids gave me their version of events. Chris and I have never talked about it at length, but to be honest, I think she resents me a little because I had it so easy."

"She seemed very fond of you —" Blair began, but Kylie nodded emphatically.

"Oh, she is. I'm closest to Chris out of all of my siblings, actually. But she really did have to blaze the trail, and I got to walk it. My parents were really pretty awful to her, Blair. They forbad her to come home until she got it out of her system, and they refused to support her financially. Luckily, she went to U. of I., and the tuition wasn't too high, so she didn't have to drop out."

"That's awful," Blair said sympathetically.

"Yeah, it really was. There was a strain on the family that lasted quite a while. Thankfully, I didn't know what the real issue was. If I had, it probably would have screwed me up when I was coming out to myself. All I knew was that Chris did something that made my parents really mad, and she couldn't come home until she stopped whatever it was."

"What did she do?"

"She had to work for a couple of years, until she saved enough money to be able to go to grad school. We didn't see her for almost two years," she said. "But not long after she started school again, my mother decided that she wasn't able to stand the distance any longer. It was a big deal — probably the only time I ever heard my parents argue. Mom got in the car and drove down to Champaign, and she and Chris worked it out. Chris came home for Thanksgiving that year, and over time, my parents got more and more comfortable with it."

"So, did they support her while she was in grad school?"

"Nope. They offered to, but she didn't trust them not to pull the rug out from under her again." Kylie shook her head and said, "She'd always wanted to be a doctor, but she changed her mind and got her Ph.D. in math instead. I always felt that she did that to spite my dad. He really wanted her to follow in his footsteps."

"Damn, that must have been a horrible time for your family."

"It was. But in a way, her suffering allowed the rest of us to have an easier time. My parents really loosened up a bit after that happened, and I think my mom started standing up for herself a little. Like I said, I was pretty young, but the change was noticeable even to me."

"So, when you decided you were gay, your parents were pretty blasé about it?"

"I need to sit Chris down and ask her about this, but I've always had a sneaking suspicion that she told my parents even before I knew. They were entirely too matter-of-fact about the whole thing. They acted like I told them I was going to move to a different apartment or something equally innocuous. They could have been the models for a Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays advertisement."

"Lucky for you, but I could see that Chris might well be a little resentful. Especially since you got to go to medical school and all."

"Yeah, it makes sense, but she's had the last laugh in the relationship department. She and Laura have been together almost twenty years, and I think they're very happy."

"You'll get there," Blair said. "If I get you hooked up this year, you'll only be seven years behind her."

"I love your optimism," Kylie said. "It's one of your most wonderful qualities."

"I'm not optimistic," Blair said. "I'm confident. There's a small but critical difference there. You're a sure thing, Kylie, and the woman who snares you is gonna be one lucky babe."

„G

They had some extra time, and since they needed to take a cab at some point, they decided to take a boat up the Chicago River. The night was warm and calm, and the trip from Michigan Avenue to Wacker was very short — ten minutes or so — and Blair wanted to do it because Kylie loved the water so much. They sat alone in the open stern since the other passengers all chose to stay inside. "How can those people resist sitting out here with the wind in their hair?" Kylie wondered.

"Oh, they look like businessmen. They probably do this every day. They're jaded."

"Well, I'm not," she said. "I haven't been on one of these since I was in high school. Thanks for thinking of it."

"I think about you a lot," Blair said, suddenly serious. She reached into her purse and pulled out a card and a small, gaily wrapped package. "Especially lately. I spent a lot of time thinking about what I could buy you for your birthday, but I had a really hard time. I know you buy yourself whatever you want, so it didn't seem like it would be special to buy you a thing. Besides," she said, smiling warmly as she placed her hand on her abdomen, "I wanted to show you what you've come to mean to us."

Kylie's mouth grew dry suddenly, and she had to struggle to ask, "What have I come to mean to you?"

"More than I can express," Blair said. "No matter what happens to us in the future, I want you to know how much your friendship has meant to both me and the baby. We'll never forget you, Kylie, and we want you to know that. I want to guarantee that we think of you every day."

She handed her the package, and Kylie quickly tore off the paper and stuffed it in her pocket. Opening the box, she found a dark velvet box. She smiled at Blair and opened it, pulling out a beautiful, plump silver heart on a thin chain. "This is gorgeous, Blair," she said.

"Turn it over."

Kylie did, and as she read the inscription, her brow furrowed in puzzlement. In a delicate script, the text read, "To Kylie, Love always, Mackenzie." She read the inscription again and was about to tell Blair that the engraver had made a mistake when her friend handed her the card and said, "Read this, too."

Her expression was completely bemused, but she did as she was told. Inside the card Blair had written, "Dear Kylie, I want my baby to grow up to emulate the most generous, thoughtful, caring and compassionate person I know. I couldn't think of a better way to insure that would happen than to name him after her. I love you, Kylie, and I want you to always know that Mackenzie and I care for you deeply. Happy birthday — Love, Blair."

The expression on Kylie's face was so impossibly precious that Blair longed for a camera. But the look in those eyes was so heartwarming that she knew she'd never forget it. "You … you're … you're naming him after me?" she asked, her voice thin and weak.

"Yes. I'd be happy if he had just a few of your wonderful traits, Kylie. I hope that naming him after you inspires him to model himself after you."

"Bu … but …"

"Does this make you happy?" Blair asked, placing her arm on Kylie's shaking shoulder.

"Yes! But …"

"But nothing. This means a lot to me, and I don't want to hear any of the reasons you're going to come up with for why I shouldn't do it. I've thought about this for a while now, and I wasn't going to tell you until he was born, but I thought it might mean something to you on your birthday. It seemed like a good time to show you how much of an impact you've had on my life, and how very glad I am that you were born."

Wrapping her arms around her friend, Kylie sobbed against her shoulder. "This means so much to me. I can't begin to tell you."

"You've had a pretty nice day, huh, Doc?" she cooed into her ear. "Playing percussion with the symphony and having a baby named after you. Not bad at all."

"Thank you, Blair," Kylie said, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. "It's gonna be hard calling a tiny baby Mackenzie, but I guess he'll grow into it."

"I know he will," Blair said. "And if, by some chance, my prediction is wrong, Mackenzie is a very nice name for a little girl, too — thank God!"

„G

The orchestra was half-way through the second movement of Brahms' Symphony Number Four when Kylie felt Blair jerk in her seat. Suddenly, the doctor's hand was gripped and placed firmly against her friend's abdomen. "I felt him kick!" Blair whispered excitedly.

As Kylie turned to face her, she saw the excitement in her friend's eyes and desperately wished that she'd felt it, too, but she knew it was too early for that. "He likes the symphony," Kylie whispered. Her hand slid up and down Blair's belly, rubbing her gently for a few moments. Soon Blair placed her hand atop Kylie's and rested her head on her shoulder, feeling completely at peace.

„G

The Schneidhorsts were elated that the baby had finally made his presence known, and Kylie could see the disappointment in their faces when she informed them that it would probably be a few more weeks until anyone but Blair could feel the kicking. "I think I've talked Blair into coming home again for my father's seventy-fifth birthday party at the end of October," Kylie informed them. "I'm certain you'll be able to feel him then."

"Will you be able to travel then, Blair?" her mother asked.

"Yeah, I should be. That'll be my last trip until the baby comes, though. I'm sure my doctor will restrict me after that."

"Well, I've already told the theatre that I'm taking my vacation in December. It doesn't look like your father will be able to come, but wild horses couldn't stop me from being there for the birth." She paused a moment and said, "I … I assume that's all right with you, Kylie. Lord, how presumptuous of me!"

"I took for granted that you'd come, Eleanor. Blair will need you to be with her."

"Yeah, Mom, Kylie asked me just the other day how long I thought you'd be able to come for. We've been talking about it like it's a given."

"Great," she said. "You tell me when you want me there, and I'll make my reservations."

"You know, I obviously want you there for the birth, but I'd really like you there beforehand. I won't be working, and I won't be able to drive, so I'll be bored to death sitting around the house alone."

Kylie said, "I thought I'd take time off after the birth, so that Blair can get some sleep at night while I handle the night-time feedings. If you can be there beforehand to keep her entertained, we should have all the bases covered."

"I have a feeling I'm going to fall in love with that baby so fast that I'll never want to leave," Eleanor said.

Blair smiled warmly and said, "That works too, Mom. Then I won't have to hire a nanny."

"Don't tempt me, honey. I can't imagine anything I'd rather do than help you raise your child."

"Hey, I'm not kidding in the least. I'd love to have you both retire to California."

"Let's see how things go," Werner said. "One little earthquake and your mother will be on the next plane out of town — no matter where it's going!"

„G

"Kylie?"

"Hmm?" the doctor asked sleepily.

"Did you have a nice birthday?"

Forcing her eyes open, Kylie focused on her friend for a moment as she tried to clear the cobwebs out. There was enough moonlight coming in her window to be able to make out Blair's features, and Kylie smiled gently when she saw how brightly her friend's eyes were shining. "Ya know what?" the doctor asked.

Blair could tell by her friend's expression that she was going to like her answer. A grin settled onto her face as she said, "Huh-uh. What?"

"If you took all of my birthdays and added them all together and multiplied them by ten, you know what you'd have?"

"No, what?" Blair asked, her smile growing.

"You'd have a really, really old doctor!"

By the time Kylie started to laugh, Blair had walloped her with her pillow, making the doctor laugh all the harder. "Pillow fight!" she cried a little too loudly.

Suddenly, the door to their room popped open, and three young girls ran in, each bearing a pillow of her own. "No!" Kylie cried, covering up as all three started pounding on her.

Blair was helpless with laughter, holding onto her stomach so she could catch her breath. The assault continued until Kylie wriggled around enough that she could get to her feet atop the bed, her height now putting her well above the range of a young girl. She swung her own pillow fiercely, and soon the girls were forced to retreat. "We got here last night, and we still didn't get to see your girlfriend," one of the trio sulked.

"Well, you can see her now," Kylie offered. "Blair, meet the great triumvirate. This is Willow, Jessica and Carrie. Willow belongs to Chris and Laura, Jessica is Paul's and Alan is responsible … I mean, lucky enough … to be Carrie's dad. Girls, this is my good friend, Blair."

"Hi, girls," Blair said, smiling broadly. "Good job on knocking some sense into your aunt. She needs it."

"Yeah, she does," Willow agreed. "So, can we hang out with you guys for a while?"

"A very little while," Kylie said. She lowered herself to the bed and sat cross-legged, providing as much room as she could. "Come on up for a few minutes. But I really do mean a few minutes. Blair's got to get her rest. She's having a baby, you know."

"How'd ya do it, Aunt Kylie?" Willow, the obvious ring-leader, asked. "Sperm bank?"

Blair's eyes were nearly as wide as Kylie's at this question. "What do you know about sperm banks?" the doctor asked. "You're eleven!"

"My moms have their friends over, and they all talk about getting pregnant," she said. "Everybody knows about sperm banks." The other two girls nodded uncertainly, making it fairly clear that they didn't have any idea what their cousin was talking about.

"Well, let me clear up a few of your misconceptions," Kylie said. "I didn't do anything at all. Blair's my friend, not my girlfriend. She got pregnant all on her own, and I don't think she cares to tell you little goofballs exactly how it happened." She wrapped an arm around the closest two girls' necks and gave them a rough tumble. "You guys should learn about sex in the alleys, like I did."

"What's an alley?" Carrie asked shyly.

"That's my girl," Kylie said, kissing the child on the head. "I knew there was still a bloom of innocence on these little flowers."

"In school, they tell us we should be absta — absti — abstinet until we have a husband so we don't get pregnant. Were you abstinet, Blair?" Jessica asked.

"No," she said, trying to avoid laughing. "No, I wasn't, Jessica. But I have a husband, and he's the father of my baby — so I didn't have to be abstinet. I mean abstinent," she said.

Willow gave her a very dubious look and asked, "Well, if you have a husband, why are you in bed with Aunt Kylie? She's a lesbian, you know."

"Big mouth," Kylie whispered loudly. "Can't keep a secret to save your life."

All three sets of eyes went to Blair, and she slapped playfully at Kylie. "I know she's a lesbian, girls. And I'm not with my husband because he and I are getting divorced."

"Oh, so now that you're getting divorced, you can be Aunt Kylie's girlfriend," Willow decided.

"Not every one of my friends is my girlfriend," Kylie told the girl. "I'm a lesbian, but Blair isn't."

"Oh," the child said. "That's too bad. Aunt Kylie really needs a girlfriend. It's been ages since she's had one."

"Thanks, pal," Kylie said, smiling thinly. "Good thing Blair's not my girlfriend. She'd think I was a big loser."

"You're not a loser," Carrie said, smiling up at her aunt. "You're lonely."

Something about the tone of the child's voice got to Kylie, and she felt like she was going to cry. Blair saw the look on her face and tried to bring a smile back to it. "She's not lonely, girls. And after I have this baby, she's not going to have a minute alone. Kylie's so important to me that I'm naming the baby after her," she announced.

"You're gonna call it Kylie?" Jessica asked. "What if it's a boy?"

"Nope, I'm gonna call it Mackenzie," Blair said.

"That's my name!" each girl cried nearly simultaneously.

"It's mine, too," Kylie said, playfully leaning against each girl in turn. "Don't any of you tell people the baby's named after you, `cause it's not!"

"Do you live together?" Willow asked, still trying to make this situation fit into her world view.

"We do," Blair said. "Kylie owns the house, and I'm her roommate."

"What's a roommate?" Carrie asked.

"Well," Blair said, trying to think. "When two people live together, but they're not in love with each other, they're called roommates."

"But if you're not a lesbian, why do you want to live with one?" Willow asked. "Shouldn't you live with a man?"

Blair gave her a thin smile and tried to think of a tactful way to answer her. "I'm not even divorced from my husband yet, Willow. I'm not ready to look for another one."

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