Chapter 3 8 страница

"Oh. Right." Kylie waited a beat, then said, "I thought she was married.”

“She is, silly. But she has a lesbian cousin who’s gonna be in L.A. for a job interview on Friday. She wants to see the sights to help her decide if L.A. is right for her. Sheila was moaning about the fact that she has to work both days of the weekend, and she wasn’t wild about giving her cousin her car — since the poor woman doesn’t know a thing about L.A. So I volunteered you to be her tour guide.”

“A tour guide, huh? Can you tell me anything about her, other than the facts that she sleeps with women and doesn’t know how to read a map?”

Looking slightly crestfallen, Blair asked, “Aren’t you excited? I am.”

“Of course I am,” Kylie insisted, even though she hated the thought of going on a blind date. “I’d like to know a little something about her so I can … uhm … make sure I take her to places she’d like.”

“Oh.” Now Blair’s smile widened, and she said, “I’ll ask a bunch of questions tomorrow. What do you want to know?”

How early can I drop her off if she's a dud, Kylie wanted to say, but she advised her friend to ask the usual questions about the woman’s likes and dislikes.

„G

“Big weekend coming up, huh?” Blair said with enthusiasm when she got home on Friday night. “A date with Amanda tomorrow and a dog show on Sunday. We’re making progress here, buddy.”

“We sure are,” Kylie said, smiling warmly, touched by Blair’s obvious concern. "You know, I've been amazed at how good your mood was this week. You seem almost like your old self."

"Well, I'm not," Blair said, "but Nick's suggestions have really helped. I'm still sad and lonely, and I miss the David I used to know, but I'm able to contain my feelings. I spend some time being sad every day, and that lets me spend the rest of the time feeling like my old self."

"I'm glad it's helping," Kylie said. "Baby Spencer's probably happy, too."

"That's where my focus has to be," Blair agreed. "I have to look to the future."

„G

When Blair woke on Sunday, she splashed some water on her face, brushed her hair and grabbed her robe, practically running to find her friend. She slid across the kitchen floor on her stocking feet, her eyes bright with excitement. “How’d it go? It must have been pretty good for you to be gone so long.”

Kylie took a long sip of her coffee, just to prolong the torture. “You, my friend, can pick my dates any old time you want. It went very well, and if she moves here, I’m going to pursue her with abandon.”

Blair started to jump around the kitchen like a kid on a pogo stick. “Yeah!” she cried. “That’s so great!” She reached down and hugged her friend roughly. “Tell me everything! Don’t you dare leave one detail out.”

Kylie blinked up at her impishly. “Sure about that? For all you know, we had wild sex all night long, and she just left.”

“Oh!” Blair said down heavily on a kitchen chair. “Well, uhm … I don’t … I mean …”

Laughing heartily, Kylie caught her friend's nose between her thumb and index finger and gave it a tug. “I kissed her goodnight, Blair. Granted, it was a helluva kiss, but that’s it. My date was entirely G-rated.”

“I knew that,” Blair said. “You don’t seem like the type to sleep with someone on the first date.”

“Well, I have, but it’s not my norm. Actually, it’s rare for me to kiss someone on the first date, but Amanda’s … well, I wanted to let her know I was most definitely interested.”

“So tell me about her!”

Kylie looked at her watch and said, “I’ll tell you about her on the way to Santa Barbara. It’s nine o’clock, and the dog show only lasts until 2:00. We’ve got to get moving.”

“Damn!” She got up and said, “Get in the shower with me so we can talk while we get ready.” Kylie blinked at her, her mouth not moving when she tried to speak. “Got ya back for that ‘she just left’ comment,” Blair teased, capturing Kylie’s nose victoriously.

„G

Kylie agreed to drive, since Blair declared that she had a tendency to pull over and take a quick nap when she was behind the wheel for very long. At Blair’s insistence, they took her car, since she had little confidence that Kylie’s car could make it to Santa Barbara and back. They hadn’t driven two blocks before Blair was badgering her friend. “I’ve been the very soul of patience. Now tell me everything!”

“Okay,” Kylie said. “I picked her up at noon, and we went over to the Third Street Promenade, since it was such a nice day.”

“Back up,” Blair demanded. “What'd she look like? What was she wearing?”

“Uhm … she looked kinda normal. Nothing all that distinctive.”

“Oh, please! I want some details!”

“This isn’t what I’m best at,” Kylie said.

“That’s becoming painfully obvious. Don’t look at me,” Blair commanded. “What color is my hair?”

“Kinda red, kinda blonde. More blonde when you’re inside, more red when you’re in the sun.”

“Excellent. It's called strawberry blonde, in case you're interested. Eyes?”

“Green mostly but a little hazel in bright light.”

“See?” she said triumphantly. “I knew you paid attention. Now describe Amanda.”

“Okay,” Kylie sighed, obviously thinking hard. “If I had to compare her to someone, I’d say Jodie Foster. She’s thin and kinda slight. Looks like a good wind would knock her over.”

“Jodie’s cute,” Blair beamed.

“Now she doesn't look exactly like Jodie. She’s the only person I could think of who was even close.”

"But Amanda's cute, right?"

"She not … uncute," Kylie said, wincing a little. “She isn’t my usual type, but I'm not gonna let that bother me. Amanda seems like she has all of the qualities I want in a woman. That's what matters."

Blair looked at her friend for a moment, then said, "How bad was she?"

"She wasn't bad! She was just … plain. Like her hair. It's not really blonde and not really brown, it’s kinda medium color.”

“There’s no such thing as medium color, Kylie. Try again.”

“This is hard!” she complained to no avail. “Okay, I guess it’s mousy brown, but that’s such a nasty term for hair.”

“How does she have it cut?”

“I don’t know,” Kylie said, looking puzzled. “It looked like Jodie’s. Straight, about to here,” she said, indicating her shoulder. “I think she parted it on the side. Nothing special, Blair. Just hair.”

“Eye color?”

“Good lord! I don’t need to be able to identify her in a police lineup, do I?”

“Eye color,” Blair insisted.

“Brown. But real pale. Kinda the color of her hair, I think. And before you ask, she didn’t have any scars or missing teeth that I noticed.”

“How was she built?”

“Fine,” Kylie said. “Nothing jumped out at you, but she was just fine.”

“Nice breasts?” Blair asked, matter-of-factly.

“Blair! I didn’t feel her up!”

“Oh, come on,” she chided. “You’ve already told me you like breasts. Don’t try to act like you didn’t check ‘em out.”

Kylie mumbled something that Blair couldn’t catch, then she shrugged her shoulders and said, “There wasn’t much to check. She was very modestly endowed. Actually, she was completely flat. But that’s not a deal breaker for me,” she insisted. “I’m not overly swayed by a woman’s body. I’ve dated lots of pretty women who made me want to hang myself rather than spend another minute on the date.”

Beaming, Blair patted her thigh. “I like you, Doctor Mackenzie. I knew that’s how you’d be.”

Winking at her, Kylie said, “Don’t get me wrong. If I could find a cultured, literate, kind, funny, gorgeous woman with a C cup, I wouldn’t complain a bit. But the gorgeous part and the bra size are clearly at the bottom of my list.”

“Understood. You’re looking at the inside first, outside second.”

“Well, I am a surgeon,” she playfully reminded her. “I love the inside of a woman.”

Blair pinched her on the waist, saying, “I assume that Amanda was cultured, literate, kind and funny, even though she was plain and had small breasts?”

“Well, I’m not sure about the kind part,” Kylie said, “but she had the cultured, literate and funny parts nailed. She was here to interview for an assistant professor’s job in the English department at U.C.L.A. She teaches poetry and creative writing.”

“Wow, that is literate.”

“Yeah. She’s thirty-three, which is well within my preferred age range, she doesn’t have a lot of emotional baggage and she’s not averse to having children.”

“You asked her that?” Blair gasped.

“No, Blair, I didn’t say, ‘You look like good breeding stock, Amanda. How are your fallopian tubes?’”

“Well, how do you know that she’s willing to have kids?”

“We were talking about our past relationships, and she said she’d recently dated a woman who had a child, and she found that being with a toddler appealed to her. She said she thinks she'd like a child of her own. She’s waiting until she’s settled into a job that seems permanent before she considers the matter more fully.”

“She sounds perfect for you, Kylie. Heck, you could even give her breast implants!”

“Hmm … I’d never thought of that. I could turn my woman into a Victoria’s Secret model …”

Chuckling, Blair said, “I’m happy now. I think I’ve gotten everything out of you that I’m gonna get, so I’m taking a nap. Wake me when we get there.” She pulled her handy pillow from the backseat, lowered her chair and twitched around until she was in a good position.

When Blair was minutes from sleep, Kylie said softly, “She can’t dance a lick, but she kissed like she knew how to use her tongue.”

“Behave!” the blonde giggled. “If I don’t get a nap, I’ll be barking at those dogs.”

„G

Kylie was as excited as a child on Christmas morning. “Do you think anybody will be selling puppies?” she asked as they parked the car at the fairgrounds.

“No, I don’t, and if anyone is, we’re not buying one today. We’re here to let you see a large sample of all of the dogs you think you like so you can be sure that you like them in person.”

“When I was a kid and we wanted a new dog, we went down to the pound and picked the one that looked like it needed a home the worst,” Kylie said. “Why can’t I do that?”

“You can, but you’ve been talking about getting a pure-bred dog. And if you want to go that way, I want to make sure you get the one you really want.”

“You’re gonna be a good mom, Blair; you’ve got the drill down cold.” She reached down and captured her friend’s hand, partially to help her across the uneven terrain, and partially to insure she didn’t receive another pinch.

„G

By two o’clock, the quest for the perfect dog had not only not been resolved, the number of dogs Kylie was interested in had mushroomed to over a dozen. “I thought this was supposed to make things easier,” she said. “Now I want dogs I’ve never even heard of!”

“We’re gathering information today,” Blair reminded her. “Looking at dogs was only part of my plan.” They walked along the line of tents where vendors were selling every type of dog product. They found a very talkative and opinionated man at the big grooming care booth. The doctor informed him that her biggest concern was finding a dog that loved children, and he gave them his personal opinion on each of the breeds on Kylie’s expanding list.

“How old are the kids you’re talking about?” he asked.

“Well, I want a dog that likes all kids, but the one I’m most concerned about isn’t going to be born for five and a half months,” Kylie said to him.

Stealing a discreet look around, he winked at Blair and said, “I’d go with the Norfolk terrier."

"A terrier? Really?"

"Yeah. It's a great little dog, and it hasn't been overbred like some of the dogs on your list. They're very good natured, very loving, and very active. We had small terriers when my kids were little, and it was great. The dog entertained the baby and the baby entertained the dog. Kept them both busy," he said, laughing.

"Do they have any here?" Blair asked.

"Sure. As a matter of fact, I have a friend who has his RV set up not far from here. Go down this aisle, turn left, and stop at an RV that has a spare tire cover that says 'Gideon's Norfolk's.'"

“Thanks a lot,” Blair said, “you’ve been a lot of help.”

The pair wandered around until they found the RV, and Kylie started to squeal when she saw a portable, wire-mesh enclosure holding a female with a litter of puppies, all four of the pups nursing peacefully. Blair hoped fervently that the puppies were not old enough to wean, since she knew they’d be taking one home if they were. Kylie’s expression was positively enraptured, and she dropped to the ground like a rock, murmuring sweetly to the little dogs.

The owner came out of his RV, and luckily, was not put off by a stranger drooling over his puppies. Blair spoke to him while Kylie was held in thrall, barely cognizant of her surroundings. She finally responded to a persistent tugging on her shirt. “Time to go, Kylie,” Blair said. “The puppies have to go home now.”

“But they just finished eating,” she said, eyes riveted.

“Kylie, you can’t have any of them. They’re all spoken for. It’s time to let go now.”

She looked up at her friend with the saddest eyes Blair had ever seen. “I can’t have one?”

“No, but the nice man gave me some good suggestions on how to get you one of your own.”

She got up slowly, brushing her slacks off when she stood. “I can pay twice whatever he’s getting for them,” she said quietly.

Blair took her by the sleeve and tugged her away from the space. “Kylie! People have entered into contracts to buy those dogs. You can’t try to steal them out from under them.”

“Why not?” she blinked.

“Because it’s not right, and you wouldn’t like it if someone did it to you!”

“You are such a mom,” she said, laughing. Draping an arm around Blair, she admitted, “I was just pulling your leg. I wouldn’t really try to outbid someone.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you,” Blair said, snuggling into her friend's hug. “You looked like you were deeply in love with those pups.”

“I am,” she sighed. “I’ve gotta have one. As soon as I go home and research every site that talks about them, that is. I can’t bear to make a mistake about such a big decision.”

“If this is the right breed, you give me a little while, and I’ll use the ideas that breeder suggested. We’ll get you a great dog.”

“At this rate, I’ll have a girlfriend before I get a puppy.” She caught herself saying that and asked, “Am I gonna bitch about that?”

Chapter 5

Blair tried her best to limit contact with David, but she found herself calling him after every therapy session. He always seemed so down that she wanted to try to prop him up a little, and a phone call was the only way she could think to do it.

She'd been out of the house for three weeks when she told him, "It means a lot to me that you're working so hard, David. I know this isn't something that comes naturally to you, and I appreciate that you're going out of your comfort zone."

"Blair, I told you I'd do anything to get you back, and I meant it. But to be honest, I don't see how this is helping. We don't even talk about the baby. This guy is totally focused on my infertility, and it's driving me nuts!"

"He is? That's what you talk about?"

"Yeah. I finally asked him why we keep going over the same stuff, and he said that he thought I had a lot of unresolved conflicts about my inability to get you pregnant. Jesus, did he have to go to school to learn that?"

"I'm sure he knows what he's doing," Blair said. "Nick says he's very good."

"Well, his only advice to me was that if I don't think I'm making progress, he can see me more often. I'm already going three times a week. I think the guy must be trying to save up for the down payment on a house, and he’s decided to use me rather than go to a bank."

"Maybe he's right," Blair said. "You should at least consider it, David."

He sighed. "All right. I'll consider it. I guess I don't have anything else to do with my evenings. I might as well spend them with Charles."

He said the name like an insult, and Blair asked, "Do you dislike him?"

"I don't …" He paused for a second, and Blair could just imagine his rubbing his hand over his short hair, one of his nervous habits. "I don't dislike him. He just seems like such a know-it-all. He sits there and looks like he knows what I'm thinking. I hate that."

"Keep working at it, David. It's too early to tell if you're going to click with him. If you really don't like him, I'm sure Nick can find someone else for you."

"No, no, I've bared my soul once. I don't wanna have to go through that again."

"Okay," Blair said. "It was only a suggestion."

"I'm sorry," David said quietly. "It's just frustrating. I've seen him seven times. Shouldn't something be happening by now?"

"I don't know, honey. I've never been in therapy. If you can think of another way to change how you feel, go for it. But this is the only way I know."

"I guess you're right," he said, sounding very defeated. "If it's possible to change the way you feel, I guess this is the way to do it."

„G

Later that night, Kylie was sprawled out on one end of her new extra-long sofa, Blair curled up on the other. They were watching a movie. Rather — Kylie was watching a movie, and Blair was drooling down her shirt, her head at an impossibly uncomfortable angle.

Trying to get up with as much stealth as possible, Kylie eased herself off the butterscotch-colored leather, grimacing as it creaked noisily. She snuck over to Blair and gently slipped a hand under her face to try to place her head back onto the cushion. Pale eyes blinked open, and the sleepy woman muttered, “Getting fresh?”

“Yeah,” Kylie said, smiling at her. “The only way I ever get lucky is to sneak up on a woman while she’s asleep. You woke up before I could get your clothes off.”

Blair looked down at her herself. “Was I drooling on the new furniture?”

“Like I care about that. Besides, that's why I bought leather. I knew you were a drooler, and I figured my new dog might be one, too."

Blair rose up onto an elbow and smiled at her friend. "You have a strange sense of humor, Doc. I guess that's why I like you."

"I like you, too," Kylie said. "That's why I was trying to sit you up a little — so your neck didn’t cramp.”

“I think I’d rather go in the other direction,” she said, dropping back down and scooting a little so her head was on the seat cushion. She forced an eye open and saw that she was taking up most of the space. When she started to get up, Kylie urged her to stay.

“Go right ahead and stretch out. You can rest your feet in my lap. I don’t mind.”

“Sure?” she mumbled sleepily. “I could just go to bed.”

“I like the companionship,” Kylie said. She sat back down and put Blair’s legs across her lap, giving her feet a rub. By the time she’d expended ten minutes of attention on her, the smaller woman had started to snore, and Kylie reached for the TV headphones which were a requirement once Blair started sawing logs. “Sleep tight, Blair,” she whispered, continuing to pat her gently.

„G

The next week, David called Blair after his Wednesday afternoon therapy session. After some small talk, she commented, “I go to see my obstetrician next week, David. I told her I’d make up my mind about amniocentesis before I came to see her.”

“I've been reading that book you left me," David said. "Is amniocentesis where they stick that great big needle into …” He paused, then asked, “Talking about this doesn’t make you sick, does it?”

“Well, yeah, a little. Thanks for asking, though. And, yes, this is where they take a sample of amniotic fluid to test for some heavy-duty birth defects. Monique hasn’t pushed it, but she thinks I should probably do it. I’m sure you remember, I'm right on the cusp of a high-risk pregnancy.”

“Then why waste time worrying about it? Just let her do it.”

“It’s more complicated than that, David. There’s a risk to the baby’s health."

"Oh. Is it a high risk?"

"Well, no."

"What else is bothering you?" he asked. "You sound like you're worried."

"I am. If the results come back showing a major genetic defect, we'd have to make some choices."

“Like …?"

“Abortion, David. It doesn’t make sense to even have the test if I’m not considering the option of an abortion if something horrible is wrong.”

“Well … would you?” he asked tentatively.

“I wouldn’t make that decision without your help, David. This is our baby.”

“I can’t … I couldn’t …" He took in a breath and said, "I don’t think I’m the right person to help you with that, Blair. It’s your body.”

“And our baby,” she said for the millionth time. “I would never make a choice to terminate the pregnancy without you.”

“Blair,” he said, “please don’t ask that of me. You know how ambivalent I am right now. If I urged you to have an abortion, you’d always worry that I did it because I didn’t want the baby. I know you’ll make the right decision if it comes to that, and I’ll be there for you. I promise I will. Just don’t ask me to help make the decision.”

“All right,” she said tiredly. “I’m bushed. I’ve got to take a nap.”

“I love you, Blair. I really do.”

“I know, David. I know.”

She hung up and sat in her room, crying for a long while, but she didn't follow her instinct to isolate herself. She went in search of Kylie and found her in the den, watching The Magic Flute on PBS. "You're home early. Mind if I join you?"

"Love to have you," Kylie said.

Blair dropped onto the sofa. "I just need some company. I'm feeling awfully lonely."

"Wanna talk?"

"Actually, I'd love to have a foot rub. It makes me feel grounded. If it’s not too much …"

"One foot rub, coming right up," Kylie said, smiling warmly at her friend. Blair slumped deeper into the sofa and swung her feet up, putting them carefully in Kylie’s lap. Kylie began to rub Blair's bare feet, sneaking occasional glances at her friend. As expected, the blonde nodded off within seven minutes. I get better all the time, Kylie thought. One of these days, I'm gonna break the five minute barrier.

A half hour later, Blair’s soft moans made Kylie start to stroke her leg, trying to reassure her in her sleep. Suddenly, the blonde sat bolt upright, eyes wide, a fine sheen of sweat covering her face. She started to pant, and Kylie leapt up, then knelt in front of her. “You had a bad dream, Blair. Everything’s all right. Just calm down and take a deep breath.”

Leaning heavily against her, Blair did as she was told, and after a moment, she caught her breath. “God, that was a bad one,” she moaned.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No, no, this one was too real.” She wiped her hair away from her face and said, “Nick told me to write down all of my fears before I go to sleep, but I've been passing out so easily that I haven't been doing it. Damn!" She shivered and hugged herself tightly. "I’ve been having this one a lot when I nap.”

“It might help if we talked about it. Wanna try?”

“No, I don’t … I can’t," she admitted shakily. She tried to slow her racing heart by breathing slowly. The television was on, but Blair couldn't convince herself to listen to it. All that she could focus on were the images from her dream, still assaulting her. She looked at Kylie. "Are you watching this?" she asked.

"Nope." Kylie switched off the set.

"I don’t wanna talk about the dream, but I can tell you why I'm having it." She took in a calming breath and said, "I’m worried about having amnio.”

“Oh." Kylie nodded and looked contemplative. "I was wondering when that would come up. Are you worried about the test or the results or what?”

“All of the above,” she said. “I'm sure I'm worried about more things, too, but that's all that I can think of at the moment."

"Tell me what's going on," Kylie said. "I know I'd be worried about it."

Blair sat stock still, trying to gather her thoughts and then said, "I guess my real issue is whether to have the test at all.”

“I can understand that,” Kylie said. “It'd be hard for me, too.”

“You wouldn’t be in the mood to tell me what to do, would you?”

“No, that’s not what you need,” she said. “You need someone to support you no matter what you do. That’s my job.”

“That’s my husband’s job, too,” Blair grumbled. “Actually, it’s his job to help me make this decision, but he won’t.”

“Tell me what the issues are for you. Maybe I can help you sort them out.”

“Issues? I'm too screwed up to organize my thoughts. I'll just tell you what I'm afraid of," she said. "I'm afraid of hurting a perfectly healthy baby by having the test."

"That's a possibility, but it's not very likely," Kylie said. "What else?"

"I'm obviously worried about finding out something horrible. Given my age, there's a real chance that I could have a baby with a genetic defect."

"Yeah, there is a chance. Again, it's not likely, but there's a chance. How would you feel if you didn't have the test and your baby had a genetic defect?"

"I can't be sure," she said thoughtfully. "I don't think anyone knows how she'd react in that situation."

"What's your guess?" Kylie asked.

Дата добавления: 2015-09-04