Gavel to Gabble

1. Q: Just so I understand: it doesn't hurt when you have sex?

A: No, it doesn't hurt.

***

Q: Since that time – well, let me put it this way. Nowadays, do you ever have trouble getting an erection?

A: It's harder than before.

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Q: What happened next? A: I woke up unconscious in the hospital.

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Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year?

A: Every year,

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Q: What gear were you in at the

moment of impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

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Q: Are you sexually active?

A: No, I just lie there.

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2. Q: What did you see when the ac­cused took down his pants?

A: Well, it looked like a penis, only smaller.

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3. Q: Well, you're a pretty big man, aren't you?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: How big would you say?

A: Oh, about eight inches.

***

4. Q: Did the defendant have an erection?

The Defense: Objection. Calls for expert medical opinion.

The Court: I don't think so.

***

5. Q: Looking at People's Exhibit 5, a photograph, can you tell me who is in the picture?

A: That's me and Officer Geiger.

Q: Were you there when the picture was taken?

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6. Q: And where was the location of the accident?

A: Approximately milepost 499.

Q: And where is milepost 499^?

A: Probably between milepost 498

and 500.

***

7. Attorney: (in the middle of a king cross-examination) Your Honor, one of the jurors is asleep.

The Court: Well, you put him to sleep. Now wake him up.

***

8. Attorney: And can you show us a copy of that oral agreement?

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9. The Court: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to answer yes or no because my reporter does not have "uh-huh" and "huh-uh" buttons in her machine. And when you answer "uh-huh" and "huh-uh she won't have a way to write it. Plus, the jury needs to hear "yes" or "no," not "uh-huh's," and "huh-uh's," okay? Witness: Uh-huh.

Дата добавления: 2015-07-19