Now Feelings Can Hide Other Feelings

Following are some examples of how men and women use their negative emotions to avoid or suppress their true pain. Keep in mind that this process is automatic. We are often not aware that it is happening. Consider for a moment these questions:

• Do you ever smile when you are really angry?

• Have you acted angry when deep inside you were afraid?

• Do you laugh and make jokes when you are really sad and hurt?

• Have you been quick to blame others when you felt guilty or afraid?

The following chart shows how men and women commonly deny their true feelings. Certainly not all men will fit the male description just as not all women will fit the female description. The chart gives us a way to understand how we may remain strangers to our real feelings.

WAYS WE COVER UP OUR REAL FEELINGS

Men may use anger as a way of avoiding the painful feelings of sad ness, hurt, sorrow, guilt, and fear.

Men may use indifference and discouragement as a way of avoiding the painful feelings of anger.

Men may use feeling offended as a way of avoiding feeling hurt.

Men may use anger and righteousness as a way to avoid feeling afraid or uncertain.

Men may feel ashamed to avoid anger and grieving.

Men may use peace and calm as a way to avoid anger, fear, disappointment, discouragement, and shame.

Дата добавления: 2015-07-19