P.S. The response I would like to hear: "I love you, Bill. I appreciate how much you do for me. Thank you for being my husband."
STEP 2: WRITING A RESPONSE LETTER
Writing a Response Letter is the second step in the Love Letter Technique. Once you have expressed both your negative and positive feelings, taking an additional three to five minutes to write a Response Letter can be a healing process. In this letter, you will write the kind of response you would like to have from your partner. It works like this. Imagine that your partner is able to respond lovingly to your hurt Feelings, the ones you expressed in your Love Letter. Write a short letter to yourself pretending it is your partner writing to you. Include all the things you would like to hear from your partner about the hurts you have expressed. The following leading phrases can get you started:
* Thank you for...
* I understand...
* I am sorry...
* You deserve...
* I want...
* I love...
Sometimes writing a Response Letter is even more powerful than writing a Love Letter. Writing out what we actually want and need increases our openness to receiving the support we deserve. In addition, when we imagine our partners responding lovingly, we actually make it easier for them to do so. Some people are very good at writing out their negative feelings but have a hard time finding the feelings of love. It is especially important for these people to write Response Letters and explore what they would want to hear in return. Be sure to feel your own resistance about letting your partner support you. This gives you an added awareness about how difficult it must be for your partner to deal lovingly with you at such times.
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