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Two weeks.

The bits about masturbation are especially well handled. | Use our medicine and you can kiss your hemorrhoids goodbye! | Веселые истории, шутки, заголовки, опечатки и слоганы. | They can all stick their bills up their arses. | Art and literature: batty books | Chat-up Lines: extra cheesy | Education | Шутливый медицинский словарь | Etymological conundra | ТЕМАТИЧЕСКИЙ УКАЗАТЕЛЬ |


***

What’s the punishment for bigamy?

Two mothers-in-law.

***

Why don’t women blink during foreplay?

They don’t have time.

***

What do you call a large cloud that marries lots of smaller clouds?

A bigger mist (a bigamist).

***

How many men do you need for a Mafia funeral?

Just one. To slam the car boot shut.

***

Do you know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.

***

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?

“If your father could see you now, he’d turn in his gravy.”

***

Why do police have trouble solving murders by rednecks?

Because they all have the same DNA.

***

What is it that separates five nymphomaniacs from two drunks?

The cockpit door.

***

Why do Rover cars have heated rear windows?

To keep your hands warm while you’re pushing.

***

What do you call an Aussie farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A bigamist

***

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

***

What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a room?

A full set of teeth.

***

A man goes into the barbers. The barber asks, “Do you want a crew cut?”

The man replies, “No, thanks, it’s just for me.”

***

What do you call a New Zealander with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other?

Bisexual.

***

The good news: Saddam Hussein is facing the death penalty.

The bad news: Beckham is tackling it…

 

MEN vs WOMEN JOKES


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