***
What’s the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
***
Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time.
***
What do you call a large cloud that marries lots of smaller clouds?
A bigger mist (a bigamist).
***
How many men do you need for a Mafia funeral?
Just one. To slam the car boot shut.
***
Do you know how copper wire was invented?
Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
***
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
“If your father could see you now, he’d turn in his gravy.”
***
Why do police have trouble solving murders by rednecks?
Because they all have the same DNA.
***
What is it that separates five nymphomaniacs from two drunks?
The cockpit door.
***
Why do Rover cars have heated rear windows?
To keep your hands warm while you’re pushing.
***
What do you call an Aussie farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A bigamist
***
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
***
What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a room?
A full set of teeth.
***
A man goes into the barbers. The barber asks, “Do you want a crew cut?”
The man replies, “No, thanks, it’s just for me.”
***
What do you call a New Zealander with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other?
Bisexual.
***
The good news: Saddam Hussein is facing the death penalty.
The bad news: Beckham is tackling it…
MEN vs WOMEN JOKES
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