Hold all the shards together. He finally left the pieces in a pile on the table, and went to hide in his room.

Soon, his mother came home, and he heard her calling him. "Doug, do you know who broke my vase?

It's in here all in pieces!" Doug tried to drum up his courage, but at the last minute, he found himself answering, "No, Mom, I don't know." He cringed, waiting for her answer. "That's funny," she said,

appearing at his door. "I wanted to thank whoever it was. I've hated that thing for years!"
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39. A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by the child's kindness, and gave her the required sum. "There you are, my dear," said the mother. "But, tell me, isn't the lady able to work any more?" "Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells candy."

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40. The small boy was lost in a mall and was delivered to the local police station where deputy gently tried to learn names of his parents.

- Okay, sonny, now tell me how your mom and dad are called?

The boy stopped crying for a second and blurted out:

- Honey and Sweetheart, officer!

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41. A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce." The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, "I don't

want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's

a better lover than you." Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger ncreases. She

says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph. She says, "I want

the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph. She says, "I

want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer

toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?" The husband says, "No,

I've got everything I need." She asks, "Really? What's that?" The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag!"
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42. A friend and his wife were considering travelling to Alaska, a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car. He asked his wife, "If we decided to live there permanently, away from civilization, what would you miss the most?" She said, "You."

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43. Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

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44. Sid was discussing wives with his pal, Eddie. "Sid," Eddie asked, "is your wife talkative?" "Yeah, mine sure is", Sid answered. "How about yours?" "Well, let me put it this way", replied Eddie, "Last month, I had a bad cold for three days. I lost my voice and my wife never knew it!"

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Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Iowa, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the

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