Test yourself

Далее следуют шутки, которые вы без сомнения поймете сами. Только не пугайтесь сразу. Непристойные на первый взгляд вопросы имеют вполне пристойные и очень очевидные ответы, как если бы на них отвечали дети. Просто взрослые люди очень сильно испорчены.

What's big and hairy and sticks out of a man's pajamas and is so big that he can hang his hat on it?

His head.

What does a man do standing up that a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

Shake hands.

What does a cow have four of that a woman has only two of?

Legs.

What four-letter word ends with k and means "intercourse"?

Talk.

What word starts with c and ends with t and means "pussy"?

Cat.

What four-letter word ends with unt and means "a female"?

Aunt.

What does a man have in his pocket that's about six inches long, has a head on it, and women love it so much they often blow it?

A dollar bill (or any other denomination of paper money).

What does a dog do that a man steps into, and what does a dog make in the yard that a man wouldn't want to step into unexpectedly?

Pants. A hole.

What kind of a man sticks his tool into another man's mouth?

A dentist.

What is long and hard and contains seamen?

A submarine.

What does a man have in his pants that you can also find on a pool table?

Pockets (в бильярде pockets – лузы).

Where do women have the curliest hair?

Africa.

What happened to the couple who didn't know the differ­ence between Vaseline and putty?

All their windows fell out.

(putty – замазка).

I'm thinking of something that a man gives to a woman after they're married. Solzhenitsyn has one of these and it's long and hard; George Bush has a little one; Madonna doesn't have one; and the Pope has one, but he doesn't use it. What am I thinking of?

A last name.

What wasn't a maiden for long, especially after more than a thousand people went down with her?

The Titanic.

(Обыгрывается выражение a maiden voyage – первое плавание. Maiden speech – первая речь нового члена парламента. Maiden еще означает девица, девственница. Прилагательное virgin в данных контекстах звучало бы немного странно).

Дата добавления: 2015-07-19