Under a Spell

Mark Twain once wrote, "I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothing alike and cook all dishes alike.

Sameness is tiresome, variety is pleasure. Kow spelled with a large K is just as good as with a small c. It is better. It gives the imagination a broader field, a wider scope."

Andrew Jackson, who may have been our only illiterate president, once thundered, "It's a damn small mind that can think of only one way to spell a word!"

Twain and Jackson would be delighted with the creativity and broad-mindedness shown in the misspellings that follow. They certainly fill the imagination with all sorts of original images. As a famous bumper sticker proclaims, BAD SPELLERS OF THE WORLD, UNTIE!

1. Meanwhile, Richard Parker Bowles, brother of Camil­la's ex-husband, Andrew, said that from the beginning Camilla approved of Charles's marrying Diana while she remained his power mower (paramour) (Paramour – любовница. Действительно, если это слово произнести быстро, получится power mower – электрическая газонокосилка).

2. Microsoft Word advertisement: You'll get a grammer checker and a spelling checker.

3. Need to be a better reader? John Atkinson is available as a reading tudor (tutor).

4. Congratulations to all 1st graders who participated in the annual Spelling Be (Spelling Bee).

5. Congradulations to our school's champion spelers.

6. Say "yes" to eduction (education).

7. for sale. Two-story 1500 sq. ft. on 2 acres with privacy fencing along road frontage. On hill with beautiful view of damned creek below property (dammed).

8. No smoking aloud (allowed).

9. The prisoner was sent to solitaire confinement (solitary).

10. An inspired Illinois team yesterday reached the pinochle of success (pinochle - карточная игра, а имелась в виду вершина успеха - pinnacle of success).

11. Taped to a cash register in a convenience store:

No Checks Excepted! (accepted!)

No Acceptions! (exceptions)

12. She arrived at the castle and spent the knight (night).

13. He was a short, fat, semi-balled man (-bald).

14. Mrs. Travis unveiled a plague in memory of her live husband (plaque – мемориальная памятная доска, а plague означает чуму).

15. Escapee captured after 10 days on the lamb (on the lam – в бегах).

16. He killed the men with his bear hands (bare).

17. She slipped into a comma on Thursday (coma).

18. Church Bizarre Sale. Refreshments. Saturday, June 24. 9 a.m.

19. He went to the carnival and rode on the fairest wheel (Ferris wheel).

20. The weather was wonderful and the little boy did summer salts (summersaults - сальто).

21. Divorce has become so common that we take it with a grain assault (grain of salt).

22. A story in a Florida newspaper quoted a minister as saying, "God told me to hold my piece ” (peace).

23. I stood on the beach as the serf blew in my face (surf – шквальный ветер, a serf – это крепостной крестьянин, раб).

24. He was arrested for evading an officer and for wreckless driving (reckless).

25. Insanity is a problem of considerable dementions (надо: dimensions – пропорции, размер, хотя и использованное слово по смыслу не лишнее: dementia – сумасшествие).

26. They unleashed the attack dogs that go for the juggler (jugular – сонная артерия).

27. Bracelets $8.00

Neckless (без шеи) $10.00 (necklace).

28. While the car is a wreck, its occupants can be truly grateful that they escaped with their lives. The tree is badly scared (reck; scarred).

29. The woman's basketball team earned a birth in the finals (надо berth - место).

30. Platonic love is where you first love a single woman. Then you come to love women as a hole (whole).

31. It's better to slow down then get a ticket.

32. A flaming desert complimented the dinner (dessert).

33. No dumping aloud (allowed).

34. It’s best to heed the advice of the United Press international Stylebook: “A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. As a writer, you are expected to know the difference.”

Дата добавления: 2015-07-19