1. In Venice, the people travel around the canals in gargonzolas (gondolas).
2. In the United States, people are put to death by elocution (electrocution).
3. The two sides in a court trial are the defense and the prostitution (prosecution).
4. I haven't seen him in over a year. I hear he went to one of those ivory league colleges (Ivy League colleges).
5. Okay, ma'am, I'm going to give you a ballpoint figure (ballpark figure – приблизительная цифра ).
6. She's led a sedimentary life (sedentary life – сидячий образ жизни).
7. He's always hurling epitaphs at people (epithets).
8. When the Martians' spaceship landed, they got out and had testicles (яички) ( надо: tentacles - щупальца)all over their heads.
9. The food in our cafeteria is so bad it's not fit for human constipation (запор) ( надо: consummation - потребление ).
10. The Alberta Pipeline was largely financed through ornate investigators (investors).
11. He was arrested for parking tickets and other mister meaners (misdemeanors).
12. A Spanish Armada ship sank years ago off the coast of Florida. When I lived there, divers would search the wreckage for gold bunions ( bunions – мозоли, нарывы;надо: bullions – слитки ).
13. Many college students are abscessed (obsessed) with TV.
14. Adultery is what adolescents are practicing for.
15. I want that list arranged in condescending order (in descending order – в убывающем, нисходящем порядке; condescending означает снисходительный).
16. Children tend to put their parents on a petal stool (pedestal).
17. The British Museum was a millstone (milestone) in the development of civilization (millstone – жернов, а milestone – веха, важный этап).
18. I plead the fifth commandment (amendment – поправка к конституции; commandment - заповедь).
19. I drank myself into Bolivia (into oblivion).
20. I'm calling on my cellulite phone (cellular phone).
21. I'm blessed with a photogenic memory (photographic).
22. Game canceled due to inclimate weather (inclement – суровая погода).
23. He suffered from low self of steam (low self esteem – низкая самооценка).
24. You're hand stringing my creativity (hamstringing – ты мешаешь, не даешь мне…).
25. I am utterly dumb folded (dumbfounded – сбит с толку).
26. Children so smart they are in exhilarated classes (надо: accelerated – ускоренный; exhilarated – веселый, радостный, возбужденный).
27. Several workers were laid off, but they all received sufferance pay (нужно: severance pay – компенсация).
28. I can give you the recipe for my fruit compost (fruit compote).
29. A few members argue that it would be a mute point if the majority doesn't speak out (не mute – немой, а moot point – спорный вопрос).
30. She digressed (regressed) back to her childhood.
31. I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incinerate me (надо: insinuate – скомпрометировать в то время как incinerate означает сжечь, испепелить).
32. There's no astigmatism attached to that (надо: stigma; to attach a stigma to — запятнать (что-л.) a stigma attaches to — позор (быть каким-л. или делать что-л.) No stigma attaches to being poor. — Бедность — не порок. There is no stigma to being poor. — Бедность — не порок).
33. My contact lenses adhere to the contortion (contour) of my eye.
34. The decimal (decibel) level was too high to measure (decimal – десятичный).
35. She was dressed in full regatta (regalia).
36. I have a good rappaport (rapport) with just about everyone.
37. This list is impartial (partial, incomplete). I need a complete list.
38. This will only exasperate (exaggerate) the problem.
39. It was a real cliff-dweller (cliff-dweller – досл. житель скал; надо: cliffhanger – триллер).
40. His attendance has been very erotic (erratic).
41. The museum contains many artifacts and pimentos (mementos) of the past.
42. Make your homecoming a memorial (memorable) one.
43. My son's grades have taken a real nosedrop (имелось в виду резкое ухудшение учебы, т.е. nosedive; nosedrop – это сопли).
44. After the service, entertainment will follow at the local cemetery.
45. The world today is full of crime and phonography (pornography).
46. I don't believe in heaven or hell, but I do believe in puberty (poverty).
When Metaphors Collide
I never used metaphor I didn't like, and I never met a mixed metaphor I didn't collect. I now grab the bull by the tail (horn) and present the cream of the dregs of figures of speech that just don't add up:
1. That's water under the dam (water under the bridge).
2. Let's not stir up (wake up) sleeping dogs.
3. Let's be sure that the contract covers all the asses (assets – активы).
4. My new Saab is unbelievable. It's the Cadillac of cars.
5. The light at the end of the tunnel is just the tip of the iceberg.
6. I've got an ace up my hole (sleeve).
7. He was bleeding like a stuffed pig.
8. That was the last straw on the camel's back (that broke the camel’s back).
9. You can't change the spots on an old dog (on a leopard).
10. We had some disagreements early in her career but she's turned her attitude around 360 degrees since then (180 degrees).
11. It was like pulling hens' teeth.
12. The pianist has the fastest fingers ever to set foot on stage.
13. The underground parking garage will never see the light of day.
14. It's time to fish or get off the pot (в оригинале: to shit).
15. He smokes like a fish (a chimney).
16. Remember, she's no fried chicken (spring chicken).
17. What can I do? I'm only a big wheel (fish) in a small pond.
18. Her leg was amputated after a long-standing illness.
19. In our family we bend over backward to be upright and honest.
20. Oral sex is distasteful.
21. It's a Pandora's Box hanging over our heads (обычно говорят, что нависает не ящик Пандоры, а Дамоклов меч – the Damocles sword).
22. The matrimonial agency was barely making ends meet (end – задница, половой орган).
23. The diving school was barely keeping its head above water.
24. We're back to square zero (to square ‘one’).
25. A wedding aboard a luxurious cruise boat can run from $3,000 to $20,000, if someone wants to go overboard (overhead).
26. The chasms in my general knowledge are abysmal (слова chasm и abyss – синонимы и означают бездну, бездонную пропасть).
27. He was three shades (sheet) in the wind.
28. She was born with a silver slipper (spoon) in her mouth.
29. You've got to put your foot down with a firm hand.
30. What can you do when you're at the bottom of the rung (нужно было сказать так: at the bottom rung of the ladder)?
31. You've hit the iceberg (nail) on the head.
32. They're trying to pull the wool over my face (конечно, eyes).
33. I'm not mending bridges we've already sold down the river.
34. I only have two pair of hands.
35. Let's bite (take) the bull by the horns.
(Пояснения к некоторым вышеприведенным высказываниям вы сможете найти в главе «Stop the presses»)
How’s That Again?
An obituary in a Peoria, Illinois, newspaper read: "Mr. Martin Shore was born in Madison, Wisconsin, where he died and later moved to Peoria."
During the Vietnam War, a U.S. military officer explained, "We had to destroy that town in order to save it."
"After the eighties, the nineties will make the fifties look like the sixties." Dennis Hopper.
The sagacious Hobbes, of the late comic strip Calvin and Hobbes, once predicted that "we can eventually make language a complete impediment to understanding." Hobbes had it just about right when it comes to statements such as the following:
1. Perhaps the most cruel tragedy in the death yesterday of Caleb Witherspoon is that had it happened a few minutes later, he might still be alive.
2. Sign on the men's room door at the offices of the Detroit School Board: Please keep the door closed when coming in or going out.
3. Instructions on a paper-towel dispenser: Pull down. Tear up.
4. A Denver TV channel offered this sage advice: "Don't go into darkened parking lots unless they are well lighted."
Дата добавления: 2015-07-19; просмотров: 52 | Нарушение авторских прав
| <== предыдущая страница | | | следующая страница ==> |
| Brand New Bloopers | | | The dead live in the cemetery. |