Mattie's. Yogurt and Ice Cream Parlor An Alternative to Good Eating.

22. Treadmill $100, stair-stepper $75, mini trampoline Sill Thigh master $10, Thigh master $10, crutches $10.

23. Grand piano for sale by young lady with mahogany legs (у кого все-таки ножки из красного дерева?).

24. Our Brake and Tire Service Will Keep You Coming Back.

25. Mattress company slogan: Why Not Sleep with the Best?

26. Finally, this most classic of classified gems:

LOST DOG – Mixed breed, shaggy, left front leg ampu­tated, missing top of right ear, partially blind, bad case of mange (чесотка), tail was broken and healed crooked, some teeth gone, scars on head and back, have been castrated. Answers to name of Lucky.

Fractured English Abroad

In l962, during the Cuban missile crisis, Secretary of State Dean Rusk announced, "We're eyeball to eyeball and I think the other fellow just blinked." Soviet Foreign Minister Andrei Gromyko responded to the comment by announcing, "I am looking forward to talking with you balls to balls."

When a French-Canadian politician was applauded by an American audience, he beamed, saying, "I thank you for giving my wife and me the clap! I thank you from the heart of my bottom and my wife thanks you from her bottom too!"

(the clap – гонорея, а не аплодисменты; bottom – не глубина души, а задница).

These charming efforts remind us that few idioms and expressions can be literally translated word for word from one language to another. Every traveler and tourist in a foreign land has a tale to tell about the fractured English of signs, menus, and advertisements.

A classic of global gabble is this list of Japanese rules for the road:

1. At the rise of the hand of the policeman, stop

rapidly. Do not pass him, otherwise disrespect him.

2. When passenger of the foot heave in sight, tootle the horn trumpet melodiously at first.

If he still obstacles your passage, tootle with vigor and express by word of mouth the warning "Hai. Hai."

3. Beware of the wandering horse that he shall not take fright as you pass him. Do not explosion the exhaust pipe, do soothingly by him or stop by the roadside till he pass away.

4. Give big space to the festive dog that make sport in the roadway. Avoid entanglement with your wheel spoke.

5. Go soothingly on the grease mud as there lurk the skid demon.

6. Press the brake of the toot as you roll around the corner to save the collapse and tires up.

Here is a string of additional Japanese pearls:

1. Be considerate – think for others.

2. Artistic barber for cutting off of head.

3. No horse back riding except in carriages.

4. Outside a bar: Yo Come In. Yo Love Our Girls/And No Sheet-Keecking Music!

5. Notice pasted on a door: Shut Up.

A notice in a Madras, India, newspaper proclaimed, "Our editors are colleged and write like the Kipling and the Dickens " (есть очень известное выражение What the dickens! – Какого черта!) The Moscow Times ran an ad under the heading INTERPRETING that advised, "Let us your letter business translation do. Every people in our staffing know English like the hand of their back (надо наоборот the back of their hands). Up to the minuet (конечно, minute) wise-street phrases, like don't you know, old boy." With instruction like this, it's no surprise that globe-trotting blooper snoopers uncover exotic jewels like the following:

1. In a hotel in Weifang, China: Invisible service is available for your rest being not disturbed.

2. From a hotel brochure in Qingdao, China: Hua Tian Hotel is among the few best foreign affairs hotels (affair в английском языке иногда еще означает любовная интрижка).

3. In the brochure of an Italian hotel in the Dolomites area: Standing among savage scenery, the hotel offers stupendous revelations. There is a French widow (конечно, window)in every room. We can offer you a commodious chamber, with balcony imminent to a romantic gorge. We hope you want to drop in. In the close village you can buy jolly memorials (memorabilia – памятные вещи) for when you pass away (умереть).

4. From a China Southwest Airlines in-flight magazine: Not drink tea just after dieting. Otherwise, the tea will dilute gastric juice and play down digestion. While the tannate of the tea will turn protein to a coagulum that uneasy to digest. This will heavy the bear of stomach. So, you would better drink tea one hour after dieting.

5. On a "Family Style" restaurant in Hong Kong: Come Broil Yourself at Your Own Table (получается, что не сам готовь, а готовь себя сам).

6. On a Chinese menu: Mr. Zheng and his fellow workers like to meet you and entertain you with their hostility and unique cooking techniques (hostility – враждебность, конечно имелось в виду hospitality – радушие, гостеприимство).

7. On another Chinese menu: Special cocktails for women with nuts (для женщин с яйцами?????).

8. On a Greek menu: Spleen omelet, fisherman's crap setup, calf pluck, bowels (надо crab, a не crap – дерьмо).

9. On Budapest menu: Special today – no ice cream.

10. Outside a Mexico City disco: Members and Non-Members Only.

11. Sign on a ferry in San Juan harbor: In case of emergency, the lifeguards are under the seat in the center of the vessel.

12. In a German pamphlet: Our ETERNA Fountain- Pen is a revolting invention (надо revolutionary, revolting – отвратительный, омерзительный).

13. In a jeweler’s window India: We shoot earholes.

14. In a Chinese in-flight magazine: The stewardesses of Southwest Airlines must go through four steps, such as hardship, tiredness, dirt feeling. Beside the quality of general stewardess.

***

What do you call a person who speaks three languages Trilingual. What do yon call a person who speaks two languages? Bilingual. And what do you call a person who speaks one language? American.

Дата добавления: 2015-07-19