A. Read the text and answer the questions below.

I received a wedding invitation from a friend the other day. After the initial touch of anger at having been invited as a single (no guest, please) I began experiencing some old unsettled feelings about being a divorced male in a married world. It's a game invented by Mr. & Mrs. America to perpetuate, symbolize and elevate achosen lifestyle. What has continued to trouble me since that first invitation as a single is the way the game treats unmarrieds as outcasts.

The bias against singles begins at the earliest stage of planning a wedding. First, the betrothed and prospective in-laws parry over who gets to invite how many guests and who will pay for what – the ballroom, ceremony, music, flowers, menu, picture albums and videos. Quickly they realize that a consensus must be reached on how to reduce costs. Obviously the guest list will need to be trimmed. The first casualties are second cousins, teenagers and anyone who omitted the hosts from a guest list, gave less than a generous gift in the past or made a mildly disparaging remark about the bride's mother 25 years ago. Next come the singles. If lucky (or unlucky) enough to survive the cut, they'll be invited as single only – escorts not welcome!

Let's examine why this is unfair:

First, a married person is always invited as part of a couple. It's automatic, a cardinal rule of the wedding game, accepted by all and inflexible. "Mr. and Mrs." the envelope reads, although the hosts may not know one of the spouses. That spouse may be detested by all civilized beings, a blooming idiot, bigot, child molesteror thief. Never mind. The spouse is invited.

Another rule is that a single person may be accorded the special privilege of bringing an escort if, and only if, that person is currently involved in an "ongoing and serious relationship."

In the eyes of the married to qualify under the ''ongoing and serious" doctrine, the relationship must: (a) be monogamous, (b) hold out the prospect for marriage and (c) appear to be moving swiftly in that direction. If the couple in question is simply lovers, platonic friends or, God forbid, gay or lesbian, well that's too bad. That's not a real relationship in the eyes of the about-to-be-married – sorry, no escort!

The last rule may be the most insidious of all. It's cleverly concocted by Married America to reduce the ranks of the unwed, the millions of us who by fate or design are widowed, separated, divorced or never-married. So what do hosts do? They become matchmakers, of course, telling their single invites how they'll have this lovely table by the dance floor all to themselves, and that there's this extra-special person of the opposite sex who is also coming solo and "is just dying to meet you."

So there are the singles, conspicuous by their presence, seated at their own table, at an affair which by nature and intent exalts and pays tribute to the world of couples in general and marriage in particular. And at the end of the evening – the ritual herding of all the single females on to the dance floor to see which of them will be lucky enough to find a husband by catching the bride's bouquet.

So this time I will reluctantly tell my friend that I'll miss seeing her in bridal splendor.

I'm staying home on the wedding day. Pride, foolishness perhaps, prevents me from asking permission to bring a guest. Having to ask is demeaning.

1. What feelings did the narrator experience when he received the wedding invitation?

2. What do you think he means by the statement "It's a game invented by Mr. & Mrs. America to perpetuate, symbolize and elevate a chosen lifestyle"?

3. Do you agree that wedding invitations represent a bias against single people? Explain your point.

4. What is the last rule of the game cleverly concocted by Married America?

5. Do you think the unmarried have their own table because married folk treat them as outcasts?

B. Compare and contrast:

1) the married and the widowed;

2) the separated and the never married;

3) the newly-weds and the betrothed;

4) lovers and platonic friends;

5) the prospective and actual in-laws.

Exercise 37.

A. Prepare a talk beginning with the sentence:

Single women (confirmed bachelors) are a sect.

B. Listen to your group-mates' talks, take notes of the new (not mentioned by you) points, discuss the controversial ones and unite your efforts in creating a final analysis of the lifestyle of different kinds of single women (confirmed bachelors).

Exercise 38. Have you thought of choosing a mate yet? Translate the following text and discuss it (argue if necessary some or all of the mentioned methods of meeting the perfect mate or even delete them). Are there any suggestions of your own? Explain them.

Last month at a seminar we discussed friendship, marriage, and other relationships. My assignment was to examine the ways thatpeople meet potential husbands and wives.

First I talked with my roommate in the dormitory, a student from Japan.

"What's one way to meet a possible mate?"

"Well," she said, "one method in my country is to have a matched marriage."

"A what?" I asked. "I know you can match a tie to a shirt – or two socks after you do the laundry. But people?"

"Sure," she replied. "There aren't many arranged marriages these days, but there were a lot nottoo long ago. My parents, for example, met each other for the first time on their wedding day. My grandparents chose their children's mates and arranged the wedding."

"Do you mean that they weren't in love? That sounds awful! Weren't they upset?"

"Maybe a little bit," she said, "but they accepted each other. Then, fortunately, they grew to love each other. They've had a good, successful marriage for the past thirty years. This happens in a lot of arranged marriages."

The next person I interviewed was Dick, a guy in my social structure class.

"I meet a lot of women in discotheques – at least more than I do on campus," he said. "The environment of loud music in a disco is exciting, and there are a lot of people to dance with."

"That seems great," I said.

"I thought so, too, at first," he said a little sadly. "But on the other hand, very often the women there are unfriendly. A lot of men in discos are too aggressive, and the women as a result are very cold."

"Discos? Never!" said Sylvia, a student who works part-time in the campus library. "People aren't natural in places like that. I prefer to make new friends at places where people have interests in common. I met my boyfriend at the health club, for example, and it seems that the healthy atmosphere of the gym is continuing into the relationship that I have with him. But to be honest, there's one problem with this arrangement."

"What?" I asked.

"The truth is that I really hate to exercise, so I don't want to go to the gym anymore. What's my boyfriend going to think when he finds this out?"

"Computer dating services are the answer!" said my friend Agatha. "The advantage is that you have a lot in common with the people you meet through a computer. The computer can match you up with someone of your same intelligence, astrological sign, age, lifestyle, and personality. For instance, you can meet someone who is creative, competitive, and honest, and you can ask for a scientist, an actor, a vegetarian, or..."

"Have you had many successful dates so far?" I asked.

"I think I made a big mistake when I filled out the application form. I didn't want to miss a wonderful guy because of an answer that was too specific, so I was careful to write very general answers."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there was a question about height. I said 'anyone between 3'5" and 7'5".' Then there was a question about recreation. I answered 'yes' to forty-seven interests, from gourmet cooking to camping in the wilderness. I wrote that I liked swimming, hiking, the arts, comedy movies, quiz shows, mystery stories, business, ethnic foods, and so on, but I think that the computer got confused. It hasn't found a date for me since I sent in the application."

Last, I interviewed a guy in the bookstore.

"Supermarkets," he told me. "I meet a lot of potential dates over the frozen pizzas in the convenience-food section. Also, it's easy to make small talk over the tomatoes and lettuce in the produce section. We discuss chemicals and nutrition and food prices. Sometimes this leads to a very romantic date."

I slowly shook my head: strange... very strange.

That evening I talked with my roommate again.

"I think maybe your parents and grandparents had a pretty good idea. A matched marriage isbeginning to seem more and more practical to me."

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