At the doorstep of the new Millennium

“Isolation prevails everywhere especially in our century. Everybody………..is lonely and acts individualistically, everyone is withdrawn into his own shell, and distances himself from the others, is hiding himself and his life, and ends up repelling his fellowmen while also being repelled by them”.

This is a very apt description by the great Dostoyevski of the isolation of his times but of ours as well. However, life is going on. And……..

The New Millennium is knocking at our door. It is a reality now.

The clock is counting the seconds, the minutes, the hours. We cannot freeze time.

However, the following question is continuously put before us.

How are we going to face it?

It is not of course the end of the world. We should approach it more as an end and as a beginning at the same time.

Do we have the right to face the matter superficially?

Some people might say:

- It is just a year, like so many others that have passed.

- Years are elapsing. They simply leave their mark on us. White hair, wrinkles and the rest.

Others might say:

- Come what it may. Let it bring anything with it. This reminds us of the days before the Deluge (Flood). We read in the Bible: “they did eat, they drank, they bought, …but….it rained fire and brimstone from heaven” (Luke 17, 28-29).

So, the New Millennium is coming for all of us. Am I allowed to say “I don’t care?” or “I will lock myself up in my house as if nothing is happening and I am indifferent”? Can I isolate myself in my island like another Robinson Crusoe.

How about my responsibilities? And responsibility means a conscious way of life. Responsibility means a relationship with other people with immortal soul.

Is the passive attitude a solution?

If we are to place things in their proper perspective, we should say right from the outset that the New Millennium and time in general is solely applicable to us as human beings. For God time does not exist. Very characteristically, we read in the Bible: “A thousand years in thy sight are but as yesterday when it is past” (Psalm 89,4).

Therefore, if this is the case, it is our duty to face the matter of the New Millennium within our human capacity, but within a spirit of freedom as well.

So, how do we face the New Millennium coming?

As if nothing is going on? With indifference? Or mounted on the chariot of:

a.	Science
b.	Affluence?
c.	Easy solution?
d.	or so called Freedom?

Or is it perhaps time for deeper thinking? Is the New Millennium perhaps a chance to preach the gospel again?

In our days, we frequently face the phenomenon of hasting to preach others. Preach to those who may have never heard of the Gospel. But we leave fundamental matters slip away. So, we leave ourselves in a religious indifference. We are like the ship that remains forgotten by the see-shore, for which nobody cares and nobody is interested but which is fighting Summers and Winters to survive.

It is a fact that we have walked away from our faith. Slowly, slowly and without realising it. We abandoned our faith in the comer and we left ourselves to go round and round like living-dead.

We often feel that “this century, our century which fills man with pride and shame, the century which demolishes and creates, must have left aside Christ, like a heavily used utensil. (J.M. Panayiotopoulos).

We have resorted to the bare formalities to support our weakness.

We have devoted ourselves greedily to the acquisition of material goods believed that in this way we fill our emptiness.

We just all shout around. We talk on theories. About unobtainable and inconceivable things.

We study philosophical systems and theories and views, and we leave the open book of God that nature opens around us unexploited.

We see everywhere expediencies and we judge everybody.

We don’t want to accept that there are also good cases. And if such cases ever present themselves, we only care to suppress them with the thorns grown in our land.

So, a new Christianisation of the………..Christians is needed. A new approach to the whole issue, to the emerging opportunities and situations. The Bible already states: “Behold, now is the accepted time” (B. Corinth. 6,2)

We used to say that one third of the inhabitants of the globe are Christians. However, instead of raising it to one half it is decreasing to one fourth.

Therefore, something must be done.

There is only one solution. Return to our roots. Go back to the spring. Drink its clear water and have a better life. Change our direction. Leave behind us the easy trails. Ask to re-establish the trails of simplicity and genuineness which lead to the clear waters of holiness.

And when we discover our own way, only then can we turn to the others. How can we transmit the Christian message to the non-Christians, when we don’t possess it and

haven’t made it our way of life? No wonder it would be like “a puppet show. And everybody will be justified to call us so.

Genuine Christianity exists only in our roots. Our “Christianity” must be put in brackets and given another name. Because it does not bear the Grace of God.

We study sometimes the life of the first Christians. We are impressed by their self-denial and their self-sacrifice. How did they really manage to live right among so many difficulties and adverse conditions? And not only this. How did they manage to spread Christianity almost everywhere?

Things were difficult then. However, Christianity spread throughout the world.

What about today? But today things are definitely easier.

Then, there were no cars, no ships, no aeroplanes. Today, they are available.

There were no radios, televisions, newspapers, teleprints, telephones, telefaxes. But today?

Nevertheless, things today are more difficult. Or at least we made them so. And that is because we ignored completely and we put aside the significance of the example.

We created utopias and closed ourselves up in them.

We created borders and barriers and frames in our life. The only thing we managed to do was to become unable to breathe. All these, like a grave-stone is pressing our chest not allowing us to breath pure, life-giving air.

A contemporary intellectual writes: “the call of Gospel is essentially…….transcendental. Not to think in terms of the terminology of a delineated field, of a closed morality. An opening of the closed doors. Demolishing of the borders. Yes, on condition that this will not be done aiming at our better convenience, and also on condition that we surpass ourselves, and we crush ourselves every time we break a barrier.

Christ says to us, “follow me” in unthought of paths. (Fr. Lev. Jyle).

We said that we want to live free, but we forgot that “if the son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed” (John 8,36). This is the secret we forgot about. The other one is that of the example mentioned above.

It is a fact that the contemporary man looks for living experiences. He is tired of words, of rhetorics and theories.

Today, everybody is talking. Nobody is listening.

Today, everybody is daring. Nobody is waiting to see.

Everybody is reacting. Nobody is acting.

Our society is continuously losing its human element. Imitation escaped from the products and turned to people.

We have everything in abundance. Everything except living experiences. Except the example.

But the first Christians, or better, the Christians of the first and second century survived because of their examples not because of their theories.

So, consistency is emphasised which is so scarce in our life. That is why a contemporary young person wrote once. “Instead of five thousand sermons, I prefer one sermon in practice. And he was right!

The end of the twentieth century has already gone brought. It brings us closer to the end. And end means apology.

Every life which starts with targets and aims is ultimately connected with a relative report. Are we ready to give such a report?

The end, every end is also an opportunity for our own soul-searching. Is it time for reorganisation? Where are we heading for? Or better, where do we come from and where are we going to?

Do we know what we are asking for? How do we live? How do we proceed?

Are we living in alertness or vigilance? Or have we resigned ourselves to a deep spiritual apathy which does not permit us such luxury?

The end of the second millennium brings us closer to

Christ, to Judgement. It specifies to us even more strongly

our eschatological perspective. From “Image” to “Likeness”. Can we imagine the meaning of these two so short words?

A good solution to see this reality in the right way is to study deeply the Acts of the Apostles. To taste there the pure water of our Tradition.

To see the love of the self-sacrifice, the self-denial act in the right way, giving examples.

Get to know therein, the simplicity and the genuineness of our faith.

Choose to take the big decision. As slaves, we must escape from our chains.

Finally to liberate ourselves.

Then proceed upwards, to heaven, calling out loudly:

“Even so, come Lord Jesus” (Rev. 22,20)

And we must be sure that his reply will be heard, whether loudly or not:

“Surely, I come quickly” (Rev. 22,20)

Hand in hand, with Him we shall proceed.

He will be with us. What else do we want?

We will then be happy.

+Fr. George.

Marriage: Bond of Love or Enslavement

An English author, writing about marriage, considers the family, which calls itself, “happy” as being a cell.

The family according to the same author is nothing but a group of people who

a. pray together

b. live together in time of health and illness

until

a. their death

b. their separation from the family

c. their “liberation”

Its members never meet except in

a. denial

b. mourning

c. death

He sees the family as

a. a demand of offers and sacrifices

b. a big mistake

c. the most destructive power in society

Under any circumstances the family is

a. a live organism

b. able to be a source of joy and creativity for the human being

c. an institution, which endured the centuries, fought with time and won.

But can it still be the “cell” which psychiatrist Cooper said?

Let us try to give an answer to that.

How is a family usually created? By marriage of course. But what is marriage?

According to the most complete definition which exists:

“Marriage is the carnal union of a man and a woman, the joining for all life, the cohesion of the divine and human rights” (Erenning Modestinus, a Latin lawyer).

There exists a view that when Modestinus was defining the term “Marriage”, he was under the influence of Christianity.

It is not the time at present to go deeply into this view. What we can say is that this definition has a complete meaning.

This comprises the following three basic elements:

a. the natural element

b. the moral element

c. the religious – legal element.

If we go deeply into the third element above, it shall

be revealed that Christ through his teaching has established and supported the real meaning of Democracy, i.e. the equality of sexes, the non-discrimination of nations and respect of the will and ideals of people. Also the forgotten dignity of human being is brought back to its place. Human value (dignitas humana) is thus restored. The result of these observations being the raising of marriage to one of the seven sacraments. The sanctity of marriage despite the many blows it has suffered, remains in its original place and has emerged triumphant.

Marriage is not simply a promise or a relation with a deep spiritual or moral content. It is a relation with concrete principles such as mutual confidence, direct co-operation, tolerance, love, adaptability and self-respect. For this reason the contraction and dissolution of marriage is the work of the Church in Cyprus which attaches to it legality and validity.

Some sort of preparation is needed for a family or a marriage to be proved correct. And this preparation is absolutely necessary, especially today.

Our times are admittedly difficult. So an objective, honest and correct facing of all the problems of a person’s life is needed, especially those problems which refer to the issues of marriage and family.

A correct, free from any prejudice and an appropriate explanation of facts and phenomenon can easily lead to the glorification of God’s greatness. At the same time it strengthens young people’s will for the creation of a family on the one hand and on the other the reliance of that family on the Christian prerequisites and Christian ideals.

A vital point that should be stressed here is the right approach of the other sex. Something which with the correct handling can inspire joy, confidence, respect towards the other sex and the inclination for understanding the difference in mentality of the other person.

But how should the choice of the companion be made?

St John Chrysostomos advises the candidates not to look for

a. the external characteristics

b. money

c. beauty

but to turn their attention and interest to

a. the individual

b. its virtues

c. its faults

More specifically we can ask

a. As far as the character issue is concerned; is there compatibility? Is it possible for the two of them to meet at least somewhere?

Can two similar characters be able to live together? Can two dissimilar characters be able to come to an understanding?

In these issues, of course, there are no rules.

We usually face

a. clashes

b. different opinions

c. some conflicts.

in a couple.

Can these be surmounted? Again the answer is: “It depends”.

b. The feminine sensitivity should surely be considered.

c. Another basic point is the issue of beauty. But what kind of beauty are we looking for? The outer or the inner one?

If both exist, well and good.

If not?

It is a fact that the external beauty dazes a lot of people and they are indifferent to the inner one.

Later, of course, they wonder what went wrong.

d. The economic factor plays quite an important role. This is usually linked with the issue of class or origin.

e. What about the religious convictions, opinions, beliefs? Where does each one stand? How deep a believer each one is?

f. Usually and especially when love precedes a marriage we face a situation of idealization of the other person. A willing ignorance that the other person is human too with faults, falls and weaknesses.

g. Age also is a basic and not negligible point.

h. Something else should also be especially stressed. “No marriage out of compassion”.

i. A strong or a weak will? It’s significant.

j. The peculiarities are an additional issue.

k. There are some people who see marriage as

a. an evil

b. a deprivation of freedom

c. a prison

d. violence

e. pressure

l. Others are particularly quarrelsome.

m. Selfishness? How much importance do we attach to it? It is not something simple, nor something that we should pass by easily. Are we willing to cooperate so that we have a victory on both sides?

At the same time we should try to achieve the aims of marriage. But what are they?

a. The moral perfection of both husband and wife.

b. The child-bearing

c. The bridling of the passions

But how should people face each other in marriage?

Apostle Paul gives us two very important pieces of advice.

a. “Forbearing one another in love” (Eph. 4:2)

Here he links two basic Christian virtues. Tolerance and Love. Love will enliven tolerance. Tolerance will lead to love.

b. “Let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Eph. 4:26)

We all know that the sun rises and sets every day. This frequency should affect our own relationships, too. The sunset should not find us in dispute. To solve any differences that may arise (and they often do) as soon as possible. If we let them linger that would be against us.

Something else that must be taken into consideration in marriage is the intervention of a third person. What do we mean by that?

There are many cases where disagreements arise between the couple. How do we face them? Do we pass them on, let them grow within us or do we push them back? And the most important. Do we face them alone or do we run to a third person?

In the last case, there appear two possibilities.

1. We may run to either a relation (mother, father) or a friend. Most probably that person will support us. Then

a. we invent new arguments

b. we harden our position

c. we become stiff.

And the result:

a. The problem gets bigger

b. the difference is aggravated

c. the gap between us becomes deeper

d. divorce is getting nearer.

2. We turn to a heterosexual friend. How this will happen? Most probably at the place of work or at a friendly gathering. The other person suspects that there is a problem and approaches either the husband or the wife who is in trouble to help. At first there may be no response but at a second or third attempt he or she unloads herself to the other person who tries to comfort her.

This friendship does not stop here of course; there might be a second, third, forth meeting. The result:

a. The person involved feels that he or she has finally found someone who really understands him/her.

b. The other person will feel that it is a pity that someone is troubled through the egoism of his/her partner, while (that is the third person), can give to the other person what he/she lacks.

c. The one becomes essential to the other.

d. Adultery is already in progress, since it is the next step.

e. Divorce, the last resort will not be late to come.

Can this outcome be avoided and prevented?

Definitely yes.

It is a fact that the husband/wife needs someone

a. to turn to

b. to tell his/her problem

c. to understand him/her

d. who will help him/her

This person can only be a spiritual father. An experienced spiritual father who realizes that

a. the person talking to him is not always right.

b. He is not devoid of blame

c. It does not matter whether the blame is 50% each or 99% and 1%.

d. There is a great possibility that the person talking to the spiritual father is not objective or is in a moment of egoistic excitement.

But there is another point, too. The spiritual father would try to see the issues as objectively as possible and help accordingly without taking sides.

The spiritual father would

a. help so that the problem is solved as painlessly as possible

b. guide the person talking to him so that he/she learns to endure

c. help himself correctly, so that he/she realizes that the search of help from someone else is not a solution

d. communicate to him/her the great truth that he/she should learn to forgive

e. teach him/her the dialogue

f. remind him/her that they are both (the couple) equal between them. We cannot, therefore, blame one person only and very often the woman.

But what are the prerequisites for a marriage to be happy?

1. An essential prerequisite and base is Love in the correct sense and gentleness of soul.

This love

a. is not something conventional

b. is not sold

c. cannot be bought

d. is the soul’s acquisition

e. is a great virtue

f. proves that each member of a couple is an image of God

g. is always ready for any sacrifice.

2. The physical and the spiritual element. We have a coexistence of these two in marriage.

An exaltation of the physical will cause problems.

3. The feeling of responsibility

Irresponsible people do not succeed in marriage.

4. Self-criticism – An essential element in every person, especially in marriage.

5. Truth and honesty are essential elements in a marriage.

It is impossible for a marriage to stand and get on its feet if it is based on lies and lack of honesty.

Masks do not bring the one closer to the other.

6. To all the above, we must add Dignity, Politeness and Patience.

Dignity is tied to moral discipline.

Politeness is education, a cultivation of civilization.

Patience helps so that the people in marriage take a calm attitude towards any events.

7. A Good Spiritual Disposition. Let us not forget that bad-tempered people are always a burden on their surroundings and they can make their marriage a continuous tyranny.

8.	Kindness, Trust and Hope

But what is kindness? It is

a. the disposition of a good person

b. the absence of malice

c. someone’s tendency to see things from the good side.

d. the internal disposition of one to be good to the others

e. the willingness to take part in a direct and obvious way in the spiritual condition of the other.

f. The disposition to forget him/herself by serving the others.

A common and mutual Trust is necessary in marriage too. That is to be able to trust, have faith in

a. the words of the other

b. what he/she says, did, does, or will do.

Trust is also closely linked with Consistency, which is so necessary today.

At the same time Hope works, too; that is

a. the joyful expectations

b. the certainty for life’s future

c. the waiting of a good and fair ending (after death)

d. the faith that tomorrow everything will be better.

e. Faith in a future life without discrimination and classes but justice

f. facing life with optimism

9.	Order also helps exceedingly along with Cleanliness and Punctuality.

It does not mean that with the above the whole issue has been covered because there are many dangerous points which must be given special attention.

a. (small or big) weaknesses

b. displeasure and irritability

c. jealousy

d. various friendships

e. various temptations that occur from time to time

f. The bad use of freedom

g. boredom and tedium very often cause great

problems

h. little omissions with great importance

i. (small or big) disagreements.

j. Selfishness or Egoism

Egoism means an exaggerated love for our own self. A behaviour which is absolutely and entirely ruled by

a. the feeling of ego

b. selfishness

c. the personal interest

d. an indifference for the others

The egoist

a. is anti-social

b. shows off his/herself everywhere

c. sets his/her neighbor aside

d. is a calculating person, conceited and ungenerous

e. undergoes an intellectual blindness

f. does not recognize any virtue to the others.

What happens when two egoists clash?

What follows cannot be described.

What should be done in marriage?

The whole point is to try to make the other part happy and not yourself. To understand more not to ask always to be understood.

10. A last and quite dangerous point is Equality.

We must understand that in marriage, between the couple, there are no classes. Higher and lower. Everyone is equal.

The Holy Scriptures have abolished these classes and more specifically, placed the woman in the same pedestal as man. So we are not allowed to

a. underestimate her

b. be unfair to her

c. consider her unworthy of certain actions

d. supplant her

e. push her aside.

Let us not forget that God made her a “helper” to man.

In marriage both husband and wife are free, but also responsible. They have rights, but duties, too.

What happens when the feeling of responsibility and duty between the husband and wife for various reasons

a. flags?

b. weakens?

c. may blow out?

Then the whole Structure of the family

a. faces problems

b. undergoes a crisis

c. accepts cracks

d. is led to divorce

But what does divorce mean? It is the split of the community of life that exists within the family. A community of life which has as a result

a. the creation of a family

b. the birth of children

c. their bringing up

d. their breeding

e. the common responsibility for creation

f. the diligence

g. the existence of this community

h. the devotion of husband and wife

i. the mutual obligations of the one to remain

faithful to the other and to stand by each other with all their power.

So divorce will

a. shake all these

b. hurt the husband and wife

c. wound the children irreparably

But why? Because of

a. lack of good will

b. lack of a right mood for living together

c. impatience

d. superficiality and improvisation

e. the unrealization of certain dreams

f. egoism

g. an absence of disposition for a common fight in the battle of life

h. a total lack of disposition for a change in small or bigger issues

i. an absence of the religious element as a binding tie between the couple

j. the wrong impression that the husband and wife have to be equivalent and not equal.

The repercussions, it is clear, are against both husband and wife and the children. Usually women suffer more. Most of the time

a. pain

b. hardship

c. isolation

d. contempt by the others

e. remorse

follow.

Marriage has more meaning for women than for men. So its breaking up costs more to the woman.

The children? Usually they end up

a. a toy in the hands of the divorced parents

b. as witnesses in frictions, sparring and other similar situations

c. as the conveyors of bitter messages between the parents, which messages wound the children themselves

d. the “accusers” or “advocates” of the one or the other parent

e. with inferiority or other complexes

f. cultivating hatred repugnance, or abhorrence to the others who do not face such problems

g. paining and suffering when they see other families prosper

h. looking like broken ships of life after a great storm

i. thinking to a great extent whether they themselves should create a family or not

j. Wondering if later when they make a family, how much and where they should be compromising so that they can avoid their parent’s mistakes. In this effort they are sometimes stiff and sometimes more compromising than they should be.

But the most difficult part is when the children are driven in court to testify for the one against the other parent. Then the human existence is mauled in the worst way.

When the husband and wife behave in this way, then definitely the families are reduced to cells, to remember Cooper again.

But is it necessary to get there? Since we can

a. live amicably

b. succeed in life

c. morally become perfect

d. be happy in marriage

why leave ourselves to be the beck and call of egoism and other minimal situations?

Since we can cultivate

a. a good will for the structure of each other

b. a spirit of sacrifice

c. prudence

d. composure

e. patience

f. an effort to avoid the inclination to exaggerate

g. the courage for self-education,

why fall back in pettiness?

It is time to remember that the family as a natural organism, does not bear sudden and dangerous shocks, because natural alma non facil (nature does not make jumps).

“The family, interwoven with the human nature must be capable to be a source of joy and creation for the human being” (Mantz. 273). It struggled as an institution against time and against those that denied it in the centuries and won. This is because “it is rooted in the human being’s soul” (275).

What is needed now is everybody to cooperate, to help so that the family will be able to face those who deny it and support both society and nation.

Only if we face the family institution this way, “will the future generations taste the great and irreplaceable incubator of life”(276) which is the Family.

+Father George

Дата добавления: 2015-10-23