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22.5 million
Eighty-four
The rumor spread throughout the company: Markus and Natalie were an item. The truth: they’d only kissed three times. The fantasy: she was pregnant. Yes, people embroidered. And to determine the extent of a piece of gossip, you only need to add up the visits to the coffee machine. Today, the number promised to be legendary. Although everybody in the company may have known Natalie, no one really knew who Markus was. He was an unobtrusive link in the chain, the basting thread for a garment. As he went back to his office, slightly stunned by what he’d just experienced, he felt a great many eyes on him. He didn’t understand why. He stopped in the men’s room to check for creases in his jacket, loose locks of hair, spaces between his teeth, and the color of his face. Nothing to do with any of that; everything was in place.This focus on him kept growing as the day went on. A lot of employees found excuses to come and see him. They asked him questions, or said they’d come to the wrong door by mistake. Maybe it was just coincidence. One of those days incredibly full of events, without anyone really knowing why. It’s the moon, his Swedish aunt, who was famous in Norway as a fortune-teller, would have said. With all these interruptions, he hadn’t really had time to work. That took the cake: he hadn’t done a thing on the day his boss congratulated him. Maybe that’s also what was getting in his way. Sudden encouragement isn’t taken easily when you’ve never been in the dress circle before, when no one has ever noticed what you were doing. And then, there was Natalie. Always inside him. More and more. Their last date had given him a lot of confidence. Life was beginning to take a strange turn, gently moving past fears and uncertainties.Natalie, too, had felt something stirring around her. It had only been a vague feeling until the moment when Chloé, an expert in confrontations, had dared ask, “Mind if I ask you a question?”“Okay.”“Everybody is saying you’re having an affair with Markus. Is it true?”“I already told you that it has nothing to do with you.”This time, Natalie was really irritated. Everything she’d liked about that young girl seemed to have evaporated. All she saw in her now was a base obsession. She’d already been shocked by Charles’s attitude, and now here it was again. What were they all getting so worked up about? Chloé went for broke and stammered out, “It’s just that I can’t at all imagine you …”“That’s enough. You can leave,” said Natalie heatedly.Instinctively, she felt that the more they criticized Markus, the more she’d feel close to him. That what was happening was forcing them closer together in a world that was far away from the incomprehension of others.Chloé left the office, feeling like a stupid idiot. She so wanted to have a privileged relationship with Natalie and had gone about it like a fool. Nevertheless, she really was shocked. Didn’t she have the right to express it? What’s more, she wasn’t the only one. There was something outlandish in the idea of those two being together. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Markus, nor even that she found him repugnant, it was just that she couldn’t manage thinking of him with a woman. She’d always considered him a UFO from the world of men; whereas, in her eyes, Natalie had always represented a sort of feminine ideal. That is why their association disturbed her and instinctively pushed her to react. She was well aware that she’d been insensitive, but when everyone asked her, “So? So? Any information?” she figured her privileged position ought to hold some real weight. Eighty-five
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Number of Languages, Including Swedish, in Which You Can Read Michel Butor’s La Modification (Second Thoughts), Prix Renaudot, 1957 | | | Excuses Used by Employees to Go and See Markus |