Meet the Stewarts

Meet the Stewart family, the main heroes of “Family Album, USA”, a wonderful book that gives a glimpse of the United States (its cities, its special places and its people) and makes it possible for us to better understand American ways.

Let us begin with Richard because it is he who introduces the Stewarts to us.

Richard is young man of 30. He is a photographer, he is married. His wife’s name is Marilyn. Marilyn is … Well, she is, say, 25 (we don’t know for sure) which makes her 5 years Richard’s junior. She is a fashion-designer and a salesclerk in a boutique.

Next comes Susan, Richard’s sister who works for a toy company; actually, she is the company’s vice-president. Susan isn’t married yet but she has a friend, a Mr. Harry Bennett, a widowed father of a little girl named Michelle. Susan rents an apartment where she lives by herself. The rest of the family live together at 46 Linden Street. N.Y.

And this is Robbie, Susan and Richard’s younger brother. Robbie is his pet name, it’s short for Robert. Robbie Stewart is a teenager; he is 17 and goes to high school.

And what about their parents?

Their father is Philip Stewart, Dr. Philip Stewart. He is a pediatrician, a children’s doctor.

Their mother is Ellen Stewart. She is a home-maker. But if you think that Ellen is only busy with the household chores, you are very much wrong. She has responsibilities outside the house. She is a very energetic person who can’t just sit around and do nothing. She believes that there are lots of places to go and lots of things to do. So, she attends school-board meetings and works on various committees. It’s important to her.

There is also Malcolm Stewart, Philip Stewart’s father which makes him a grand father to Richard, Susan and Robbie. (By the way, Susan is Malcolm Stewart’s pet: she reminds him of his late wife, Mrs. Bernice Cassidy Stewart, and he keeps saying that “Susan looks just like Grandma”). He is a man well advanced in years; as a matter of fact, he is 72.

Malcolm Stewart is retired and lives in Florida. He comes to New York to stay with his son’s family. They look forward to his coming and want him to live with them permanently. But Grandpa is not sure he would like it because “he is pretty independent”. All the Stewarts appreciate the importance of independence. At the same time he is not sure he would like to be alone. Some people don’t mind being alone but he does. Will he make up his mind? Let us listen to what Philip Stewart has to say:

“Malcolm Stewart would not be alone any more. That’s for sure. In fact, he would have his family around him every day of his life now. Finding some peace and quiet may be a little difficult. But my father would not be lonely any more. He would have me, Philip Stewart, nearby, and the rest of the family. He would have Ellen, his daughter-in-law. You know I met Ellen when I was a student of the University of Michigan. Later, she became my wife. We have three children now. Our oldest son Richard is very talented, like his grandfather. Marilyn is talented too. She designs clothing. Marilyn is Richard’s wife and she is also a sister-in-law to my daughter Susan. Susan reminds us of her grandmother, Bernice Cassidy Stewart, my mother. She was kind, intelligent and loveable, like Susan. Our younger son Robbie is the pet of the family. Well, that’s our family, the Stewarts. That’s our family tree.

Ex. 6. Describe the members of your family (appearances and traits of character). Use the text “Meet the Stewarts” as an example.

Unit 3

Family Life and Relations

I. Phonetic Training

1. Listen to the rhyme and repeat after the speaker, learn the rhyme by heart:

I have a 'jolly 'jumping Jack. I scream, 'you scream

'See how 'well he jumps! We 'all scream

'Up and down. For ice-scream.

From 'right to left,

He 'jumps and 'jumps and jumps.

– Oh, no! Don’t go home alone.

– No, I don’t.

Listen to the songs, learnt them and sing.

– Baa, baa, black sheep, – Baa, baa, black sheep,

Have you any wool? Have you wool today?

– Yes, sir, yes, sir – No, sir, no, sir.

Three bags full. I’ve given it away.

One for my master A bag to my master,

And one for my dame A bag to my dame,

And one for the little boy A bag to the little boy

Who lives down the lane. Who lives down the lane.

One to the master, One to the master,

One to the dame, One to the dame,

And one to the little boy And one to the little boy

Who lives down the lane. Who lives down the lane.

Learn the tongue-twister by heart

'Betty 'Botta 'bought some butter,

But she 'says: “This 'butter’s bitter.

But a 'bit of 'better butter

Will 'make my 'batter a 'bit better”.

So she 'bought some 'better butter,

'Better than the 'bitter butter,

'Put it in her 'bitter batter

And 'made her 'bitter 'batter a bit better.

II. Grammar Revision

The System of the English Verb

Система английского глагола в корне отличается от русской в силу различий культур данных народов. Язык является частью культурного наследия народа – носителя языка. Будучи частью культуры язык формируется в соответствии с, так называемой, языковой картиной мира, присущей тому или иному народу. Отсюда и различия в формировании языковых грамматических категорий, которые находят воплощение в грамматических значениях и формах.

Так, например, во всех языках имеются значения настоящего, прошлого, будущего времени и соответствующие им формы выражения.

Я иду, шел, буду идти (ходить), пойду и т.д.

I go, went, has gone, will go, etc.

Английский глагол в отличие от русского не имеет спряжения по лицам. Исключение представляет глагол “to be” и 3е лицо единственное число всех остальных глаголов. Но кроме категории времени английский глагол имеет категории:

длительность – недлительность,

завершенность – незавершенность,

активность – пассивность.

Все данные категории отражены в значениях и формах глагола, представленных в следующей таблице.

The System of the English Verb Forms

	Simple verb	Continuous to be + Ving	Perfect to have + Ved (III)	Perfect Continuous to have been + Ving
Present	(Регулярно повторяющееся действие; факт; действие по расписанию, графику) I write. He writes. Do you write? Does he write? I don’t write. He doesn’t write	(Длительное действие, протекающее в данный момент; длительный промежуток времени в развитии; будущее запланированное действие) I am writing. He is writing. Are you writing? She isn’t writing.	(Действие закончилось в определенный момент в настоящем; важен результат на настоящий момент) I have written. He has written. Have you written? Has she written? I haven’t written. He hasn’t written.	(Длительное действие, которое началось в прошлом и все еще протекает в данный момент) I have been writing. He has been writing. Have you been writing? Ha she been writing? I haven’t been writing. He hasn’t been writing.
every, always, often, seldom, usually, from time to time, rarely, sometimes, generally	now,at present, at the moment, this day, still, while, from to (till), currently	already, just, yet, ever, never, lately, recently, this week, today, by now, before, so far, for ages, since	for a month, a long time, during, since 5 o’clock, already…for
Past	Ved or V2 форма (Действие в прошлом) I asked. I wrote. Did she write? She didn’t write.	Was, were+Ving (Длительное действие, совершавшееся в момент или период в прошлом) I was writing. Were you writing? I wasn’t writing. They weren’t writing.	had+Ved or V3 форма (Действие закончилось к определенному моменту в прошлом)   I had asked. I had written. Had you asked? Had you written? I hadn’t asked. I hadn’t written.	Had been+Ving (Длительное прошедшее действие, которое началось до определенного момента в прошлом и еще продолжалось в данный момент) I had been asking. Had you been asking? I hadn’t been asking.
yesterday, the day before yesterday, last week, some days ago	at 5 yesterday, from 5 to 6 yesterday, all day long, the whole day, when we came	by 5 o’clock yesterday, before he came, by the end of the last year	for 2 hours, when my brother came
Future	Shall, will +V (Действие в будущем) I shall write. She will write. Will you write? You won’t write.	Shall, will be+Ving (Длительное действие, которое будет совершается в определенный момент или период в будущем) I shall be writing. He will be writing. Will you be writing? He won’t be writing.	Shall, will have+V3 форма (Действие закончится к определенному моменту в будущем) I shall have asked. I shall have written. He will have asked. Will you have written? I shan’t have asked.	Shall, will have been+Ving (Длительное будущее действие, которое начинается ранее момента в будущем и будет еще совершаться в данный момент) I shall have been writing. Will you have been writing? He won’t have been writing.
tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next year, in 2007	at 5 tomorrow, from 5 to 6 tomorrow, for 3 days next week, all day long tomorrow, when he comes	by 5 o’clock tomorrow, when he comes, by next summer	by…for

Из таблицы видно, что каждому грамматическому значению, каждой грамматической категории соответствует своя форма выражения, например:

Present Simple – Инфинитив без частицы “to” в настоящем времени;

Present Continuous – вспомогательный глагол “to be” в настоящем времени + основной глагол с окончанием “ing”;

Present Perfect – вспомогательный глагол “to have” в настоящем времени + основной глагол в форме V+ed (для правильных глаголов) или to have + V_III (третья форма для неправильных глаголов).

Present Perfect Continuous – вспомогательные глаголы to have been + основной глагол в настоящем времени с окончанием “ing” и т.д.

Чтобы понять систему форм английского глагола, необходимо проанализировать таблицу в целом и выучить все форма в соответствии с их грамматическими значениями. При анализе таблицы обратите внимание на следующие моменты:

1. Грамматические категории английского глагола (длительность – недлительность; завершенность – незавершенность и т.д.) имеют место во всех трех временах: настоящем, прошедшем и будущем.

2. Каждое звено таблицы соответствует только одной форме выражения одного грамматического значения каждой грамматической категории. Например, Present Simple – форма: инфинитив без частицы to, грамматическое значение: факт в настоящем времени, обычное, привычное действие; грамматическая категория недлительность. Present Perfect – форма: to have + V(III); грамматическое значение: действие завершенное перед другим действием в прошлом; грамматическая категория завершенность.

Последовательный анализ таблицы под руководством преподавателя привод к полному осознанию системы форм английского глагола. В дальнейшем изучение правил употребления форм и исключений проводится поэтапно в каждом уроке.

Note:

Перед тщательным изучением таблицы необходимо обратиться к вопросу о правильных и неправильных глаголах в английском языке.

Правильные и неправильные глаголы в английском языке.

Правильные глаголы (regular verbs) отличаются тем, что образуют формы Past Simple и Participle II при помощи окончания “ed” (worked, started, stopped, decided), которое читается как [t] после глухих согласных (stopped, worked); как [d] после звонких согласных и гласных (lived, entered) и [id] после букв t и d (wanted, decided) – неправильные глаголы.

Неправильные глаголы (irregular verbs), необходимо запоминать (таблица неправильных глаголов дается в приложении к данному пособию).

Training exercises:

Ex.1. Define the form of the following verbs according to the table:

had brought, is looking, buys, had been running, has gone, is doing, will be writing, shall have finished, has been cooking, wanted, sent, was enjoying, will be playing, will have been working, will come, has chosen.

Ex.2. Expand the sentences to identify the situation in which you can use these forms.

Model: I write letters to my parents.

I am writing a letter to my parents.

I have written 5 letters to my parents.

I have been writing a letter to my parents.

I write letters to my parents every month.

I am writing a letter to my parents. Don’t disturb me.

I have written 2 letters to my parents this month.

I have been writing letters for an hour already but haven’t finished yet.

1. I bought a new car.

2. He has bought a new car.

3. She will buy a new car.

4. They have been looking at us.

5. He will have graduated from the University.

6. She will play tennis.

7. We shall be negotiating the contract.

8. You had cooked the meals.

9. I have been trying to persuade her.

10. They will have been waiting for us.

11. I go on business.

12. When I came to the meeting, they had finished the discussion of the first item.

13. He had been playing football.

14. We are learning grammar.

15. We were cleaning the rooms.

Ex.3. Translate the following sentences, consult the table on p.25 and grammar revision of Unit 2 (the structure of the English sentence).

1. Мы изучаем английский и китайский на нашем факультете.

2. Сейчас мы пишем тест по грамматике.

3. Они учатся в нашем институте уже два года.

4. Большинство студентов, которые окончили наш институт, работают по специальности.

5. Мой брат окончил Медицинский академию в прошлом году и получил диплом врача.

6. Когда мы вошли в офис, там обсуждали проблему экспорта.

7. Когда мы приехали на вокзал, поезд уже ушел.

8. Мы спорили уже целый час, но никого не хотел уступать.

9. В следующем году мы будем праздновать серебряную свадьбу.

10. Если ты позвонишь после обеда, я буду писать доклад.

11. К 7 часам вечера я уже напишу доклад.

12. К 7 часам вечера я проработаю над докладом уже три часа, но вряд ли закончу.

Present Simple (Indefinite) and Present Continuous (Progressive)

Как правило, Present Simple обозначает обычное привычное действие в настоящем времени или просто факт, необусловленный никакими ограничениями в продолжительности времени.

E.g. I know English well.

I meet my boy-friend every day.

Sometimes I play tennis.

Note 1. Однако, данная форма может обозначать действие в будущем времени, которое обусловлено твердым графиком или расписанием.

E.g. The train leaves at 9 a.m. tomorrow.

Our English training course begins tomorrow at 5 p.m.

Note 2. Форма Present Simple употребляется для обозначения будущих действий в придаточных предложениях времени и условия, вводимых союзами: when, as soon as, after, before, till, until, by the time, if, in case, provided that. (В главном предложении глагол употребляется в форме будущего времени).

E.g. I’ ll leave for China as soon as I get a visa.

They will not sign the contract, till we agree to a 5% discount.

We’ ll start the negotiations in May in case our partners agree to it.

She will not miss the train only if she goes to the station by taxi.

Note 3. Форма Present Continuous также употребляется для обозначения будущего времени, но когда обозначаемое ею действие запланировано заранее.

E.g. We are leaving early in the morning tomorrow.

I won’t be able to come to your party because I’ m meeting my mom at the station.

Note 4. Но в английском языке существует ряд глаголов, которые не могут употребляться в форме Continuous. В этом случае употребляется форма Simple, даже если присутствует грамматическое значение длительности, развития действия.

Вот эти глаголы:

- to have (в значении «иметь» и в модальном значении);

- to be (в значении «быть, находиться» и в модальном значении);

- to see (в значении «видеть», но не «встречаться»);

- to hear;

- to know;

- to understand;

- to think (в значении «полагать, думать», но не «обдумывать»);

- to suppose (полагать);

- to believe (думать, полагать, но не «верить»);

- to consider (считать, полагать,, но не «рассматривать»);

- to taste(иметь вкус, но не «пробовать на вкус»);

- to smell (пахнуть, но не «нюхать»);

- to remember;

- to want;

- to need;

- to prefer;

- to consist of;

- to contain;

- to belong.

E.g. - Do you understand me now?

- Yes, I do understand, but I’m not sure you are right.

- I don’t know whether they are arriving tonight.

Training exercises

Ex.1. Fill in the blanks using either the Present Simple or the Present Continuous

1. Are you hungry? … Do you want …something to eat? (you/want)

2. Jill is interested in politics but she………………to a political party. (not/belong)

3. Don’t put the dictionary away. I…………….it. (use)

4. Don’t put the dictionary away. I…………….it. (need)

5. Who is that man? What…………………………? (he/want)

6. Who is that man? Why………………………….at us? (he/look)

7. George says he’s 80 years old but nobody……………….him. (believe)

8. She told me her name but I…………………………it now. (not/remember)

9. I……………………….of selling my car. (think) Would you be interested in buying it?

10. I……………………….you should sell your car. (think) You ……………… it very often. (not/use)

11. I used to drink a lot of coffee but these days I………………………tea. (prefer)

12. Air…………………………mainly of nitrogen and oxygen. (consist)

Ex.2. Fill in the blanks with the correct forms of the verbs given in brackets. Use either Present Simple or Present Continuous.

Leila Markham is an environmentalist. She is being interviewed on the radio by Tony Hunt, a journalist.

TONY:	So tell me, Leila why is it important to save the rainforests?
LEILA	There are a number of reasons. One is that many plants which could be useful in medicine (1).. grow..(grow) in the rainforest. We (2)........... (not/know) all the plants yet – there are thousands and thousands of them. Researchers (3) … ......... (try) to discover their secrets before they are destroyed.
TONY:	I see. What other reasons are there?
LEILA	Well, I’m sure you’ve heard of global warming?
TONY:	You mean, the idea that the world (4)………………… (get) warmer?
LEILA	That’s right. The rainforests (5)…………………….. (have) an important effect on the earth’s climate. They (6) ………………….. (disappear) at a terrifying rate and soon they will be gone. People (7)……………………… (not/do) enough to save them.
TONY:	But is global warming really such a problem? I (8) ……………………… (enjoy) warm sunshine.
LEILA	Well, what (9) ……………………… (happen) when you (10) ……………………… (heat) ice?
TONY:	It (11) ……………………… (melt) of course.
LEILA	OK. The polar ice caps (12) ……………………… (consist) of millions of tons of ice. If they (13) ……………………… (melt), the level of the sea will rise and cause terrible floods. Many scientists (14) ……………………… (believe) that temperatures (15) ……………………… (already rise). We must do everything we can to prevent global warming, and that (16) ……………………… (include) preserving the rainforests!
TONY:	Thank you, Leila, and good luck in your campaign.
LEILA	Thank you.

Ex.3. Put the necessary Present forms (Simple or Continuous) into the blanks.

‘As you know, our company (grow)………….¹ rapidly at present. We (employ)…….² 10 percent more staff than we did last year, and we (recruit)……..³ more staff all the time. We also (produce)………….⁴ 150 machines per month – that’s an increase of 15 percent since last year. We (develop)…………⁵ a new model of the Turbomaster at the moment, which we think will be a big success. We (know)……..⁶ our markets well. Our customers (like)…………⁷ our existing products, and we feel confident that they will like the improvements we have made in the new design. We (launch) ………..⁸ the new model next May, in time for the Munich Trade Fair.

Ex.4. Choose the necessary present form

Dear Karen,

(1) I’m having / I have a great time here in England. My university term (2) isn’t starting / doesn’t start until the autumn, so (3) I’m taking / I take the opportunity to improve my English. (4) I’m staying / I stay with some English friends who (5) are owning / own a farm. On weekdays (6 ) I’m catching / I catch a bus into Torquay to go to language classes. (7) I’m making / I make good progress, I think. My friends (8) say / are saying my pronunciation is much better than when I arrive, and (9) I’m understanding / I understand almost everything now. At weekends (10) I’m helping / I help on the farm. At the moment (11 ) they’re harvesting / they harvest the corn and (12) they’re needing / they need all the help they can get. It’s quite hard work, but (13) I’m liking / I like it. And (14) I’m developing / I develop some strong muscles!

(15) Do you come / Are you coming to visit me at Christmas? (16) I’m spending / I spend the winter holiday here at the farm. My friends (17) are wanting / wants to meet you and there’s plenty of space. But you must bring your warmest clothes. (18) It’s getting / It gets very cold here in the winter.

Let me know as soon as (19) you’re deciding / you decide. And tell me what (20 ) you’re doing / you do these days.

Do you miss me?

Love,

Paul

Ex.5. Write a letter in analogy about you staying somewhere for some time. Use only Present Simple or Present Continuous

Note: Writing Personal Letters

Адрес пишущего

Sender

Saturday, March 1^st, 2005

или 1 March 2005

или 01.03.05

1) Обращение: Dear Ann (Aunt Polly, Mr.Brown or My darling.

2) Начало письма: a) Thanks for your previous letter

Many thanks for

How nice of you to ….

I was awfully glad to get your letter

b) I must apologize for not writing you so long.

I really should have written sooner.

3) Основная часть письма: раскрывается содержание.

4) Конец письма: I’ll write again soon.

Looking forward to seeing you.

Hope to hear from you soon.

5) Завершающая фраза (от неформальной к более формальным):

I love you so much, Kate.

Lots of love.

Much love.

Love.

Best wishes.

All the best.

Yours, Kate.

III. Family Life and Relations

Vocabulary1:

family man	семейный человек
a bread-winner	кормилец
nuclear family	семья, где есть оба родителя
one-parent family	неполная семья
extended family	семья, где живут несколько поколений
fall in love	влюбиться
to be up to ears in love	по уши влюбиться
to go out with smb.	встречаться с кем-нибудь
to make a date, to date	назначать свидание, встречаться
to propose to smb.	сделать предложение
to be engaged to smb.	быть помолвленным
to break one’s engagement	разорвать помолвку
newly-weds, just married	молодожены
marital bliss	семейное счастье
marriage certificate	свидетельство о браке
registry office	ЗАГС
prenuptial agreement	брачный договор
to marry for love	жениться по любви
a love match	брак по любви
to marry for convenience	брак по расчету
misalliance	неравный брак
to live together to cohabit (cohabiting couples)	жить без регистрации
to have a row	ссориться
to raise, to bring up children	растить детей
to have children by first marriage	иметь детей от первого брака
to adopt a child	усыновить (удочерить)
for family reasons	по семейным обстоятельствам
to be jealous	ревновать
to split up with smb.	порвать отношения
to break up	распадаться (о семье)
to support a family	содержать семью
to participate in fund-raising	участвовать в обеспечении семьи
to keep the house clean	содержать дом в чистоте
to help with the household	помогать по дому
generation	поколение
adults	взрослые
divorce	развод
tolerant	терпимый
a bachelor	холостяк
dowry [dəυəri]	приданое
spinster (old maid)	старая дева

Training exercises:

Ex. 1. Answer the questions:

· Are you a family man?

· Who is the bread-winner in your family?

· Do you live in a nuclear family, one-parent family or in extended family?

· Have you ever fallen in love? (have you ever been up to ears in love?)

· Are you going out with anybody now?

· Do you often date (make dates)?

· Has your boyfriend proposed you yet?

· Are you engaged to anybody?

· Do you know what marital bliss is?

· Where do people get married officially?

· Would you like to be married in church?

· Would you prefer to marry for love or for convenience?

· What is a misalliance for you?

· Do you often have rows with your parents? What are the reasons?

· Are you jealous?

· Do you think a husband must support a family and a wife only participating in fund-raising?

· Who keeps the house clean in your family?

· Do you help with the household?

· What are your duties in the family?

Ex. 2. Translate the following sentences paying attention to the underlined words and word combinations:

1. Many Russian women turn to marriage agencies for help to find a husband.

2. For many couples living together has replaced marriage in recent years.

3. Living together (cohabitating) can provide a chance for shared life without a shared bank account.

4. Research shows, that among older couples, cohabitation often follows divorce.

5. In early XXth century in many American families wives didn’t work outside the home. If she did it meant that her husband was not able to support the family.

6. Most women in Russia have to combine family and work outside the home (to juggle a career with a family).

7. When a husband arrives home from a tough day, all he wants to do is put his feet up and have a drink – the sort of thing a man always expects.

8. Instead he has to help with the household or attend to his children.

9. Many women have to cut short their working day to pick up their children from day care.

10. Parents don’t owe their children every minute of their day and every ounce of their energy, but they owe them a comfortable feeling about their body, as well as a sense of personal worth and self-esteem.

11. With increasing accessibility to the Internet, the process of Russian women emigrating for marriage has increased several times over.

Ex.3. Give words and phrases for the following definitions:

2. to win the affections with a view of marriage;

3. unsuitable marriage;

4. a woman whose husband died;

5. a woman, who has never been married;

6. a second wife of one’s father;

7. a child of an earlier marriage of one’s stepfather or step mother;

8. to take a child into one’s family (as a relation);

9. a man, who has never been married;

10. to educate, to raise children;

11. to put an end to a marriage by law;

12. man (woman) to whom one is engaged;

13. your father’s (mother’s) parents;

14. a jubilee after 25 years of marriage;

15. a circular band (often of gold) given as a token of love.

Ex.4. Translate the following sentences. Consult the list of words and expressions given below:

1. Это моя племянница со стороны матери.

2. Разрешите называть вас по имени, вы так молоды.

3. Почему ему дали такое прозвище?

4. Все члены семьи называли его Си-Си для краткости.

5. Он мой троюродный брат, в общем, довольно дальний родственник.

6. Мы считаем тетю Аню очень близкой родственницей, хотя в действительности она нам «десятая вода на киселе».

7. Ему перевалило за 60 хотя он не выглядит на свои годы.

8. Он на 10 лет старше меня.

9. Я семейный человек, я не могу работать так поздно.

10. Ему почти семнадцать, он вполне может поехать в деревню один.

11. В Америке подросткам продают только безалкогольные напитки.

12. Он на 5 лет младше меня.

13. Они поженились по любви, хотя все считают, что это брак по расчету.

14. Бабушка очень состарилась в последнее время.

15. Через 4 года я достигну совершеннолетия.

16. Они очень похожи, как две капли воды.

17. Ему было далеко за сорок.

18. Она принесла большое приданое.

19. Ребенок должен родиться в мае.

20. Она пережила своего мужа на 10 лет.

Words and expressions to be used in the translation:

on one’s mother’s side, by the first name, nickname, for short, second cousin, distant relative, close relative, remote kinsman, turn sixty, to look one’s age, ten years older, family man,

teenager, to marry for love, to marry for convenience, to age fast, to be of age, as like as two peas in a pond, to be in one’s late forties, long past forty, dowry, to be due in May, outlive smb. by 10 years.

A. Read the text and do the exercises after it:

What Do Parents Owe Their Children?

By Ann Landers

If I had to select a word that best describes the majority of American parents that word would be guilt-ridden. It’s often sad to see parents becoming the willing victims of the “give-me-game” only to discover that, no matter what they do, it’s not enough. Finally they are despised for the lack of firmness and blamed when their children get into trouble. With this in mind I’ll try to answer the question: “What do parents owe their children?”, but I’ll start with what they don’t owe them.

Parents don’t owe their children every minute of their day and every ounce of their energy. They don’t owe them round-the-clock car service, singing lessons, tennis lessons, expensive bicycles, a motorcycle or car when they reach sixteen, or a trip to Europe when they graduate.

I take the firm position that parents don’t owe their children a college education. If they can afford it, fine: they can certainly send them to the best universities. But they mustn’t feel guilty if they can’t. If the children really want to study, they’ll find a way. There are plenty of loans and scholarships for the bright and eager who can’t afford to pay.

After children marry, their parents don’t owe to buy a house for them or give money for the furniture. They don’t have an obligation to baby-sit or to take their grandchildren in their home when the parents are on vacation. If they want to do it, it must be considered as a favor, not an obligation. In my opinion, parents don’t owe their children an inheritance, no matter how much money they have. One of the surest ways to produce a loafer is to let children know that their future is assured.

Do parents owe their children anything? Yes, they owe them a great deal. One of their chief obligations is to give their children a sense of personal worth, because self-esteem is the basis of a good mental health. A youngster who is constantly made to feel stupid, constantly compared to brighter brothers, sisters or cousins, will become so unsure, so afraid, that he (or she) won’t try at all. Of course, they should be corrected when they do wrong – this is the way children learn. But the criticism should be balanced with praises, preferably with a smile and a kiss. No child is ever too old to be hugged.

Parents owe their children firm guidance and consistent discipline. It’s frightening for a youngster to feel that he is in charge of himself; it’s like being in a car without brakes.

Parents owe their children some religious training. The fact that so many strange cults are enjoying such success is proof that children feel the need for something spiritual in their life.

Parents owe their children a comfortable feeling about their body, and enough information about sex to balance the misinformation that they will certainly get from their friends.

Parents owe their children privacy and respect for their personal belongings. This means not borrowing things without permission, not reading diaries and mail, not looking through purses, pockets and drawers. If a mother feels that she must read her daughter’s diary to know what is going on, the communication between them must be pretty bad.

Parents owe their children a set of solid values around which to build their lives. This means teaching them to respect the rights and opinions of others; it means being respectful to elders, to teachers and to the law. The best way to teach such values is by example. A child who is lied to will lie. A child who sees his parents steal tools from the factory or towels from a hotel will think that it’s all right to steal.

No child asks to be born. If you bring a life into the world, you owe the child something. And if you give him his due, he’ll have something of value to pass along to your grandchildren.

Tasks to the Text

Task 1. Find in the text the equivalents to the following expressions and read out the sentences with them. Translate the sentences into Russian.

баловать ребенка главная обязанность попасть в неприятности большинство родителей испытывать нужду в ч.-л. учить примером брать вещи без разрешения уважать мнение других постоянная дисциплина

самоуважение, самооценка чувство собственного достоинства добровольная жертва недостаток твердости/строгости обнаружить занимать твердую позицию сидеть с ребенком сравнивать к.-л. с к.-л. твердое руководство

---

Дата добавления: 2015-10-24