Chapter 3 44 страница

Sadie was still crying, and it took her a moment to get her thoughts together. “How are you feeling, honey? Your mother told me you had to have a cesarean.”

“I don’t think anyone feels great after delivery,” she said. “One thing or another’s gonna hurt.”

“I’ll come over and help you with anything. Anything at all,” she emphasized. “I can do laundry or cook or have my girl come over and clean.” She shot a look at Kylie and said, “My cleaning days are over.”

“I’d love to have you come over and make dinner for us,” Blair said. “You know I think you’re the best cook around.”

“Your mother said they’re leaving in just a few days,” Sadie said. “I’ll wait until they leave. I know they’ll want to have some time alone with you.”

Blair nodded, then gestured to Kylie. “I think he’s finished, honey. Will you help me?”

Kylie took the groggy baby from Blair’s breast and wiped his mouth. Sadie was fidgeting, and the doctor took pity on her and said, “Let me get something for your shoulder, and you can burp him, Sadie.”

“I can?” She looked like she’d faint with pleasure, and both women were touched by her excitement. Kylie put a diaper over her shoulder, and Sadie tentatively took the child into her arms. By the time she had him positioned, she was crying so hard that Kylie was afraid she’d have to put her into a chair, but she eventually quieted down and started kissing Mackenzie’s dark head of hair. “He looks so much like David did when he was a baby,” she said.

Blair was prepared for the comment, especially since the baby’s skin was a nice olive tone, and he had a full head of black hair. And though she was prepared, she cried along with her mother-in-law, thinking of the things she’d lost to gain Kylie and Mackenzie. She wouldn’t trade for the world, but a loss was a loss, and a part of her still mourned David’s loss.

Sadie reached out and touched her daughter-in-law. “David forbade me to see the baby,” she said. “He made me promise not to see you, either.” She sniffed a few times, then said, “He’s like his father. As hard headed as Mt. Rushmore. But if he thinks he can tell me what to do … he hasn’t learned much.”

“I’m glad you’re here, Sadie,” Blair said. She took her mother-in-law’s hand and squeezed it. “I’m very glad.”

Sadie looked at Blair, then turned to gaze at Kylie for a moment. “I hate that David’s caused you both so much trouble. You know I don’t approve of homosexuality, but you’re the right people to raise this baby. David’s proven he’s not mature enough to be married, much less have a child. He’s got a lot of growing up to do to get to that point, and it’s not fair to the baby to make him into an experiment.”

Kylie cleared her throat and said, “Thank you. It feels wonderful to have your support.”

“You have it,” she said decisively. “And if David tries to get in the way, I’ll do anything in my power to set him straight. He should learn how to be a man, then how to be a husband, then how to be a father.” She raised and lowered her shoulders dramatically, gesturing defeat. “I don’t think he’s gonna get to step three.” She pulled Mackenzie down so his face was inches from hers. “I think you’re going to be my only grandchild, sweet boy, and you’re all I’ll ever need.”

„G

Blair stayed in the hospital for two days, and even though she was happy to be going home, she knew that she wouldn't have a call button next to her pillow. Her parents were planning on leaving the next day, and Blair was already worried about how she and Kylie would cope. Kylie's mom wasn't expected for two days, and that seemed like a long time to Blair.

The dogs were wild to see Blair again, and as soon as she got into the house, she had Kylie help her sit down so they could express their affection. Werner was carrying the baby, and the dogs frantic cries woke him up. He started to fuss, then to cry, completely puzzling the terriers. Werner lowered the baby carrier enough to let Nicky and Nora take a look and a sniff.

Kylie and Blair had bought a CD of a baby crying, and they'd been playing it for a few minutes a few times a day in the weeks leading up to the birth. They'd also put some baby powder on the mattress of the crib, trying to make the room smell like it would when Mackenzie got home.

But having the real thing in the house was very different from hearing a CD. The dogs looked afraid at first, backing up against Blair as they tentatively sniffed. They slowly got more interested, soothed by Kylie stroking their backs and speaking softly. "This is Mackenzie, guys. He's gonna be making a lot of noise for … ever," she said, trying to be realistic. "He's gonna upset a lot of our routines, but we'll all get used to him in time."

"It's okay, babies," Blair said, also petting the pups. “His voice is kinda grating, but yours can be, too. One day you'll like him."

They looked at her with suspicion, then Werner lifted the carrier and took the baby into his room, Eleanor at his side. "I guess I'd better go feed him," Blair said. "He's a little overdue for lunch."

"He can cry for a minute," Kylie said. "Let's go get you into some comfortable clothes. I bought you a couple of big, flannel nightshirts. They'll keep you warm and won't touch anything that's sore."

"Have I told you I love you today?" the blonde asked. "'Cause I sure do."

"I know it even when you don't tell me," Kylie said. "That's the fun part of being in a relationship."

„G

At 3:00 a.m., Kylie got up the instant Mackenzie started to cry. She held him in her arms and jiggled him a little, trying to get him to calm down before she handed him to Blair. The dogs hopped off the bed and left the room, deciding their sleep was more important than this troublesome new member of the family.

Knowing that only a meal would calm him, Kylie walked to the bed and sat on the edge, gently stroking her partner's frowning face. "I don't like to get up in the middle of the night. I wouldn't like it if I had to answer the door to accept a gift at this hour. Imagine how much less I like it when I'm greeted by a screaming baby who wants to gnaw on my tender nipples."

"I'm sorry, baby. I wish I could help, but my nipples aren't as effective as yours."

"Oh, I'm just whining," Blair said. "I'm sure I wouldn't feel this way if this incision didn't hurt so damned much. It's hard to find a comfortable way to hold him, and my neck and arms are almost as sore as my nipples."

"Does the nursing pillow help?"

"A little. Will you give it to me?"

Kylie lay the baby on the bed, then helped Blair sit up. She got the pillow in place and unbuttoned Blair's nightshirt. When she handed Mackenzie over, he started to suck lustily, his cries dying out as soon as the milk hit his palate. "Our boy has a good appetite," Kylie said, gazing at her partner with loving eyes. She sat back down on the bed, stroking Mackenzie's back while he fed. "I love to watch you nurse," she said, her voice low and reverent. "It's so incredibly beautiful."

Blair smiled back at her, but Kylie could see the wistfulness in her eyes.

"You'll get used to this," Kylie said. "I promise that you will. You had major surgery just three days ago, honey. No one feels well after that."

"But you seem so close to him already," Blair said. "You're really bonded, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Kylie said softly. "He feels like he's a part of me. You're the only person I feel closer to, and I've only known him for three days. It amazes me."

"You don't think I'm a bad mom?" Blair asked, on her verge of tears.

"Absolutely not! It's different for me. I feel fine, and I'm not flooded with hormones, honey. I also don't have to get used to another human using me as a food-delivery system. This is a lot of change for all of us, but most of all for you. I still guarantee you'll fall in love with our little guy, and I guarantee it'll be soon. You're not feeling depressed over this, are you?"

"No, not really. I'm a little down over it, but I feel really happy when I see you with him or when my parents hold him. I love all of you, and I see how much you love him. So I get it … but I get it through you. It makes me cry every time I see my father hold him. He gets tears in his eyes every single time, honey, and I haven't seen him cry since my grandmother died. It's so touching." She started to cry just thinking about it, and Kylie swiped the tears away with her finger.

"You'll feel exactly like that. As soon as your body starts to adjust, your emotions will adjust too. It's a big secret, and women won't even admit this, but it takes a while for most of them to fall in love with their babies."

"Do you know that? Or are you just telling me that?"

Kylie smiled at her, cupping her cheek with her hand and looking deeply into her eyes. "I know that. I'm not making things up to make you feel better … although I would," she admitted.

"I know that," Blair said. "I've always gotta check before I believe you."

"Well, I'm telling the truth. It takes most women a while to get comfortable being pregnant, too, but you were crazy about the baby from the minute you found out. Everyone is different, honey. But you'll get there. I promise."

"Okay. I'll believe you," Blair said, smiling a little. "But right now, I'm about as happy as the dogs are."

"Those little brats have nothing to complain about," Kylie teased. "They don't have to feed him or change his diaper or anything! They're just pissed because they have to share us."

"We need to spend extra time with them, so they don't feel left out," Blair said.

"I'll carry the baby around, and you can spend time smothering the dogs with affection. And when my mom gets here, she can watch the baby, and I'll watch you. How does that sound?"

"Divine. I love being watched by you."

"And there's no one I'd rather watch, so we're in good shape."

„G

After a tear-filled goodbye, and enough pictures to fill Werner's new digital camera, Kylie drove Eleanor and Werner to the airport, leaving Blair and Mackenzie alone. There had been a short argument about the plans, but Blair refused all of Kylie's suggestions about having friends drop by during her absence. The blonde knew a thinly disguised babysitter when she saw one, and she wasn't about to admit that she was slightly terrified to be alone with her own baby.

She and Mackenzie waved goodbye from the driveway and then went back into the house. "Well, Bruin, it's just you and me now." They'd taken to calling the sturdy baby Bruin after the UCLA mascot. Kylie assured Blair that the dark hair on his forehead and back would fall off in a very short time, but the blonde had her doubts.

They went into the den, and she put him in the wheeled bassinet that Kylie had adjusted so that Blair didn't have to bend to put him down. Her incision was very tender, and it had begun to itch, but Kylie was watching it like a twenty-four hour intensive care nurse, so Blair was confident it would heal nicely.

As always, it took her a few moments to lower herself into a seat. She'd never realized how vital a person's abdominal muscles were during the sitting and standing processes, but she swore she'd never take them for granted again.

She'd nursed Mackenzie not long before her parents left, so he was full and content. Usually, he slept right after a meal, but he seemed quite alert today, probably because of the excitement of having the Schneidhorsts depart. "What's up, little guy?" she asked. She pulled the bassinet close and looked at him, and for the first time, he seemed to look back at her. There was a moment, just an instant, of true connection, person to person, and she blinked in surprise. Now he was looking around the room with his usual "where am I, who am I" expression, but she was intrigued and wanted to see if she could get him to look at her again.

She picked him up and put him on her lap. Kylie had come to the rescue in this department, too, having purchased a footstool that let Blair elevate her knees enough to provide a nice angle. When he was fussy, the baby liked to lie across Blair's legs, and having her knees elevated made her feel like he couldn't roll off — even though he didn't have the ability to roll.

"What's going on in that little head?" she asked. He looked everywhere but at her, so she decided to spend a little time investigating him. Kylie had gone over him with a magnifying glass, but Blair had spent most of her quality time with the infant nursing, rather than exploring. There had always been someone around, and she felt a little silly looking at her son like he was a science experiment. But in a way, he was, so she took her time to check out her little creation.

She removed the thin, snug blanket they'd wrapped him in. He loved to be wrapped in his little cocoon, and they’d both learned it felt more like the womb to have his arms and legs close to his body. But he also responded when they rubbed him, and she decided a little massage was in order. They hadn't given him a full bath, partially because his umbilical cord hadn't fallen off yet. When he'd come home, he still had a little vernix in his skin folds, and Kylie had rubbed this into his skin. She’d read some research that maintained a baby's skin wouldn't peel off as easily if he was allowed to retain the skin's natural moisturizer. Though because Mackenzie was fully developed, most of it had come off in the womb. Privately, Blair thought that her lover was being a little silly to think that rubbing in something that looked like mashed cottage cheese would help his skin, but when Kylie had a scientifically-based idea, she was hard to dissuade.

Blair ran her fingertips up and down his legs, and they stretched out and shook for a second. His skin was unbelievably soft and smooth, and she found that stroking his little legs was very calming. She left his diaper on, having nearly broken her stitches laughing when her father got a very unwelcome sprinkling while changing his diaper for the first time.

Even though he was diapered, there was still a lot of skin to caress, and she let herself indulge in it. After rubbing him all over his chest and arms, she turned him over and touched his furry little back. "Who's my cubby bear?" she asked. "I guess we should have made sure the sperm donor was a human, huh? I wonder if the census has a box for half-ursine/half-human? Bi-racial is common, but bi-species might be a new one, Bruin."

The skin on his back was still as soft as the front, even with the furry covering. Actually, the downy hair made it a little softer, and she found that she really liked stroking his back with the flat of her hand. Mackenzie liked it, too, and he kept sticking out his arms and legs and shivering, a sign of pleasure she'd learned to distinguish from his "I'm cold" shivering.

She put him on his back again and played with his hands and feet, pleased that they were pink and healthy looking. At first they'd been a dull, grayish blue because his circulatory system wasn't in full swing, but now he looked healthy and vigorous from head to toe.

Though she hadn't been happy about having the caesarian, Mackenzie’d benefited by having a nicely shaped head. She'd been worried about having his head squished in the birth canal, but he’d come out looking about like he looked now. She was also pleased that she didn't have any stitches in her private parts, especially after having heard of women who'd had stitches in places that no one in her right mind would want. Of course, having a several-inch-long incision across the top of your pubic bone was no day at the beach either, but she thought that being able to sit down comfortably was a pretty good trade-off.

She tried to make eye contact with Mackenzie again, even though she knew he could only see rough shapes at this point. "Mackenzie, Mackenzie, look at me, sweet boy. I'm your mommy. Yes, that's right. I'm the one who's gonna pay your therapy bills."

His head shifted around, and she felt like he might actually be trying to track her voice, so she kept talking. "Here I am, sweetheart. That's a good boy, look up at me." He followed orders and seemed to gaze at her mouth, then locked onto her eyes for another second. She felt her heart start to pound, and before she was aware of it, tears were rolling down her cheeks. "I'm your mommy, Mackenzie. I'm your mommy." She was filled with such joy, such love, that she felt a little lightheaded. She'd never experienced such an overpowering depth of feeling, and she had to have her baby close to her. She picked him up and cuddled him, ignoring the pain when his foot pressed against her incision.

Blair kissed his cheeks, his forehead, his soft little chin. She nibbled on his ears and kissed the back of his neck, rubbing her nose between his shoulder blades. She couldn't get enough of his scent or the incredible softness of his skin. "You're my baby," she said again and again, filled to overflowing with joy. "You're my baby."

„G

Kylie came home nearly an hour later, surprised to find Blair nursing again. "Hi, honey," the doctor said. "He's ahead of schedule today."

Blair looked at her and smiled one the most pleasure-filled smiles Kylie had ever seen. "No, he's not. I just couldn't wait."

With a small frown counterbalanced by a puzzled smile, Kylie sat next to her and put her hand on her thigh. "What does that mean?"

"I'm falling in love," the blonde said, with a fresh round of tears to underscore her words.

Kylie gazed at her for a second, and for the first time, felt a twinge of jealousy. Normally she would have ignored it, but today she said, "I knew it would happen, but I didn't realize I'd be jealous when it did."

"Jealous?"

"Yeah." She leaned over and kissed her partner, lingering for a moment to show how much she loved the mere taste of her lips. "I wish I could feel what it's like to have that hormonal bond. It must be awesome."

Blair nodded, then leaned her head on her lover's shoulder. "It is awesome, honey. Today was the first time I've really felt it, and I was minutes from eating the poor thing alive. I couldn't get enough of him."

Kylie slipped an arm around her partner, but didn't pull her close, always being careful of her incision. "I'm so glad you're starting to feel it, baby. It'll get stronger and stronger."

"Uhm … I think it's plenty right now," Blair said. "I don't think I want it to be any stronger. Any more might stop my heart."

"Sorry, buddy. This is another one of those all-in kinda things. You're not gonna be able to hold back."

The blonde let her head roll around while making a gurgling sound. "Whatever happened to having a nice, safe compartment to keep love in, huh? You know, control is underrated."

Kylie leaned in close and started to kiss Blair's neck, placing gentle, soft caresses all up and down it. She continued to move around, finally stopping by Blair's ear. "No chance. Mackenzie and I both love you with every bit of our hearts and souls. You've gotta do the same."

Blair sighed, playfully dramatizing the sound. "You two are so demanding. Love me, love me, love me! He wants to attach himself to my breast and … wait a minute … that's what you wanna do, too. You two are in some kinda conspiracy!"

"It's true," Kylie said, nuzzling against Blair's neck just like Mackenzie was nuzzling against her breast. "We've conspired to smother you with love, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Blair turned her head and kissed her partner, sucking the doctor's lower lip into her mouth and nibbling. She turned up the intensity until Kylie was moaning softly. "Then I guess I'd better enjoy it," she whispered into the pink ear her mouth rubbed against. "Thank God I enjoy it enough for all three of us."

"No, I do," Kylie whispered back, taking a healthy bit of Blair's skin into her mouth.

Blair leaned back and looked at the desire-filled face gazing at her. "I love you, Kylie, and I love our baby, too."

Kylie gave her a blazingly brilliant smile and said, "I told you your heart was big enough to love both of us."

"It is," Blair agreed, smiling back at Kylie. "Now that you've shown me how to love, it's the easiest thing in the world. Of course, it might help that I have the most wonderful lover in the entire universe."

"You know, cosmologists have discovered what might be an infinite supply of universes," Kylie said. "That used to be a great compliment, but now …"

Blair didn't say a word. She wrapped her free hand around Kylie's neck and pulled her close for a blisteringly hot kiss.

The doctor uncrossed her eyes and looked at her lover with a glazed expression. "On second thought, that's good enough for me. But I think you're the most wonderful lover in the entire universe."

"No, you are," Blair said, smiling.

"No, you are," Kylie insisted.

"You are," Blair said, more emphatically this time.

Nicky and Nora, who had been sitting on the floor, looked at each other and rolled their big, brown eyes. They'd heard this argument many times before, and it had gotten old. The pair walked out the back door and lay by the pool, glad to feel the sun on their russet-colored coats. The dogs stretched out on the concrete, warming their bellies, while they dreamed up plans to teach the new puppy how to bark properly.

The End

Sadie arrived fifteen minutes early as she was prone to do. Blair was used to her habits by now, however, and she just assumed that her mother-in-law would always be early and figured that into her invitation.

She and David had decided to withhold the big news until Blair had visited the obstetrician, but now that she had, they were ready to make the announcement. Blair would have preferred to wait a while, like nine months, but she knew that wouldn't fly. She had called her own mother the moment she found out — but that seemed like a perk she was due.

"Sadie, how are you?" she asked, giving the older woman a kiss on both cheeks.

"Fine. I'm fine. The question is, how are you?" Sadie was looking her over like a mare up for auction, and Blair was glad to feel David walk up behind her and interrupt.

"Hi, Mom." He kissed her and took her by the hand, leading her to a chair. "We've got good news."

"You're pregnant!" Sadie screamed.

"Yep, she is," David said, smiling as he hugged Blair.

Sadie was up in a flash, hugging each of them ferociously. "That's wonderful! Just wonderful! Oh, David, your father would have been so happy, God rest his soul. I wish he could be here today." She started to cry, and Blair went to get the tissue box, giving Sadie a moment alone with her son.

When she walked back into the room, David was holding his mother in his arms, both of them crying. She stopped and watched for a moment, her mind wandering. Someday our baby will be an adult. I hope he or she loves us and shows affection as easily as David does. That's one area in which I hope our child is just like his daddy.

Дата добавления: 2015-09-04