Chapter 3 43 страница

"The epidural is obviously working," Monique said. She leaned over, kissed Blair on the forehead and said, "Thanks for letting me take off. This is the first Christmas that Keith's really aware of. He'd hate it if his mommy weren't there."

"Go. Have fun. Drink some water for me," Blair said. "I miss water."

"I will," Monique said. "I'm sure Kylie will call when the baby's all settled, but I'll congratulate you now. What names do you have picked out?"

"Just one. Mackenzie Simon."

"Nice name," Monique said, giving her friend a gentle punch in the arm. "But shouldn't you have played it safe and picked one for a girl? I know! How about Mackenzie Monique?"

"Get going, wise guy," Kylie said. "I know you know what sex the baby is, and I don't want you to taunt us if we're wrong."

"Me? Taunt you?" Monique asked, looking as innocent as she was able.

"Scram, Jackson, and give all of the men in your life a kiss for me."

Monique hugged Kylie and whispered, "I love you. Take care of Blair and that sweet little baby boy … or girl." She pulled away and giggled, sparing one last wave as she left the room.

„G

Blair was vaguely interested in the flurry of activity going on around her, but in the main, she was largely unconcerned. The epidural was working, and she felt a little distanced from the concerns of the world — almost like she was observing rather than participating. But she was awake, and she was very glad for that. The thought of seeing her baby as soon as possible was incredibly important to her, and she was trying to ignore all of the details that the people around her were so concerned with.

They were in a brightly lit operating room, and she was actually grateful for the light — given that it provided some warmth. After the epidural had really kicked in, she'd begun to shiver, and nothing Kylie did helped. A pair of blankets didn't make any difference, but the hot light helped a little. Kylie was right by her side, explaining in a soothing voice exactly what the nurses and the anesthesiologist were doing. She didn't pay a lot of attention to what her lover was saying, but hearing her soft, calm voice helped a lot. Someone was putting some sort of vinyl boots on her feet and pumping them up, but she was more interested in watching the IV bag that hung right in her field of vision. She didn't know what was in the bag, but it was somehow reassuring to have some life-giving fluid dripping into her veins.

She looked up at Kylie and asked in mid-sentence, "Do you love me?"

The doctor leaned over and gazed at her for a second. "More than I ever have," she said, her eyes starting to fill with tears.

"Don't cry, baby. We'll be fine."

"I know you will," Kylie said, "but it kills me to see you on the operating table. You look so small and pale."

"You look cute in your scrubs," she said in a bit of a non-sequitur. "Promise you won't try and help?"

"I promise. I might watch, but I won't say a word."

"Don't do anything, either, okay? It's not your words that'll get you into trouble. It's your scalpel."

"I'm not gloved up, honey. Even I wouldn't operate on you without gloves. I won't offer a critique, and I won't move a muscle. I'll be right here, talking to you the whole time."

"Remember, you promised."

"I'll remember, honey."

Kylie saw the surgeon scrubbing up, and she said, "Be right back. I wanna say hello to the doc."

"Be nice," Blair said.

Kylie met him at the door and said, "Hi, I'm Kylie Mackenzie —"

"Doctor Mackenzie," the young man said, "you probably don't remember me, but I assisted you on a couple of procedures during my residency. Steve Haddad."

"Oh, yeah, I do remember you," she said. "That was about four or five years ago, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. Four years. You've got a good memory."

"Well, Steve, you're about to do a C-section on my partner, Blair. I'll do my best to keep my mouth shut, but feel free to tell your nurse to stick a wad of cotton in my mouth if I can't control myself."

"Don't worry about it. I've done more C-sections than I can count. I'm sure everything will go fine. Monique told me she was leaving, so why don't you scrub up — just in case."

"Just in case of what?" she asked, looking at him with surprise.

"Doctor Mackenzie, nothing is gonna go wrong, but it's always nice to have two doctors in the room. I'm sure I won't need help. It's just insurance."

"Okay," she said, "but you have to tell Blair that this was your idea." She went into the scrub room and got ready, seeing that Steve was talking to Blair.

When she came back out, Kylie walked up to Blair and said to Steve, "Would you mind if I explained what was going on to Blair? I think she'd like it if I was talking to her the whole time."

"No, not at all. Whatever makes you both comfortable is fine with me."

"Okay, let's go get that baby," she said.

Blair made some polite sign of acknowledgment, then she tried to relax and concentrate on Kylie's voice. They washed Blair's belly with Betadine, and Kylie stood up to look at the outline of the baby one last time. She was sure she could see his knees sticking out, and she wished she'd been able to get Blair to allow her to take a picture of her belly in the last week. But the only way she would have been able to get one was when Blair was asleep, and she felt that would be an invasion of her privacy.

Steve made the first incision, and to her amazement, Kylie felt her knees get a little weak. That hadn't happened to her since she'd had to open a cadaver for the first time, and she immediately sat down on the stool by Blair's head. She did her best to control her voice and quietly said, "He's starting to work now, honey. In just a few minutes, he'll be ready to lift the baby out."

"I feel a tugging," Blair said. "I don't like tugging."

"That's normal. Perfectly normal. You still have some sensation, but you won't feel pain."

"Promise?"

"Absolutely. If you feel any pain at all, nice Doctor Marston will add something more to the epidural. Don't worry a bit. Just think about holding our baby in a few minutes."

"A few minutes? Really?"

"Yeah. It won't take long."

"Doctor Mackenzie?" Kylie's head snapped up when Steve called her name.

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to help deliver your baby? The head and shoulders are out now."

Blair squeezed her hand and said, "Bring him to me, sweetheart."

Kylie wished she'd never met Steve before in her life. She was sure she would faint or vomit, but she couldn't refuse Blair's tender request. She managed to stand and shuffle over to slip in next to Steve, but as soon as she saw the baby, her anxiety left her completely. She was mesmerized by the sight of their child and couldn't wait to get her hands on him. She heard Steve say, "Just reach into the incision a little bit and grasp under the baby’s arms. I'll take care of the umbilical cord."

She nodded, then put her hands around their child, amazed at the feel of the robust body. She gently lifted, blinking in surprise when he popped out like a shot, covered with blood and a small amount of vernix, but the most beautiful little boy that she'd ever seen in her life. Steve took him from her when it became clear that she was transfixed and wasn't going to hand him over.

The nurse's voice snapped her back to attention. "Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?"

Kylie managed to nod, then took the instrument in her shaking hand and snipped. Her brain managed to make her say, "We want to bank the cord. We signed some forms about it — can you make sure …"

"Of course. It'll all be taken care of."

"Don't you want to tell Blair that you have a son?" Steve asked gently.

She looked at him and nodded, then managed to make her way back to her partner and put her mouth right next to Blair's ear. "Mackenzie's here," she said. "He's here, baby." She was crying so hard that her tears were falling onto Blair's face.

"How does he look?" Blair asked, sounding calm and tired and a little distant.

"He's beautiful. Just beautiful. Lots of black hair and a big pair of shoulders. Those must be from all that swimming you two have been doing."

"Can I see him?"

Just then the baby started to cry, letting out a wail that matched Blair's earlier ones. "He has a nice big voice, just like his mommy," Kylie said, still struggling with her emotions.

The nurse brought him to Blair, letting her get a good look at him. He had a healthy pink glow to his cheeks, and he looked adorable in the little red Christmas cap they'd put on his head to keep him warm. He was still crying, and his entire face scrunched up with his displeasure.

"Hi, Mackenzie," Blair said softly. "I'm your mommy."

Now Kylie really lost it, crying more than Mackenzie was.

The nurse said, "We have to take him for a few minutes, but we'll bring him back as soon as we can."

"Okay," Blair said. "S'fine."

Steve had already begun the somewhat time-consuming job of suturing Blair, and by the time he had finished placing the last staple, the baby was back. Kylie stripped off her gown, and then her bloody gloves and held him, rocking him in her arms while Blair gazed at her, a happy, but slightly vacant look in her eyes.

"Congratulations," Steve said. He'd taken off his gown and gloves as well, and he shook Kylie's hand. "I'm very happy for you both."

"Thanks for letting me help," Kylie said. "I'll never forget that moment."

"My pleasure, Doctor Mackenzie. I'm very glad I was here today."

Even though she hadn't had general anesthesia, Blair had to spend some time in the recovery room. The nurse put the baby in a tiny, rolling cart even though she’d had to pry him from Kylie's arms to do it. Kylie wasn't able to accompany Blair to recovery, so she took the baby back to the labor room where Mackenzie got to meet his grandparents. Werner and Eleanor were both in tears, and the couple spent a long time tentatively inspecting little Mackenzie.

After an hour, Blair was wheeled back into the labor room. She was greeted enthusiastically by all, but she still looked out of it and didn't respond in kind. She closed her eyes and dozed off and on for a little while with Kylie, Eleanor and Werner taking turns holding and cooing to the baby.

Monique surprised the group by showing up shortly after 10:00 p.m. Kylie got up and threw her arms around her, picking the slightly smaller woman up off her feet. "He's here! My big boy is here!"

"I hated to leave, Kylie, but Keith's little heart would have been broken if I hadn't been there for Christmas Eve."

"Hey, I wanted you to go. Now you can check my boy out and earn your fee."

Monique took the baby in her arms and smiled so widely Kylie could almost see her molars. "Mind if I take a closer look?"

"Be my guest. Blair's pretty out of it, so I guess I'm in charge."

Monique put the baby in his bassinet and took off his blanket and his diaper. "How were his scores?" she asked.

"Good. Very good for a C-section. I've been reading his chart while Eleanor and Werner hold him."

"He looks just great, Kylie. I'm amazed at how big he is, though. What is he — about nine pounds?"

"Just under. Eight pounds, ten ounces. Twenty inches long."

"Boy, that's a big baby for Blair to carry. She never could have delivered vaginally." She looked at Kylie and said, "I'm sorry I didn't have a better idea how big he was. I could have prepared Blair better for a C-section."

"Don't worry about it," Kylie said. "It was nice that she didn't have to worry about it. Everything worked out just fine."

Monique wrapped the baby back up and handed him to Kylie. He started to cry, and she jiggled him in her arms, trying to sooth him. Monique was reading Blair's chart, nodding to herself as she did so, and the new mother started to stir. "Damn," she grumbled, "I feel like someone cut a baby right out of me."

"How ya doin?" Monique asked. "There's a little guy here who sounds like he's hungry. Are you up to giving him a little snack?"

"I have a feeling that's gonna involve some massive pain, but I might as well get used to it, huh?"

"It shouldn't be so bad," Monique said. She showed Blair the button attached to her IV. "You have a little morphine in here, and you can control how much of it is added to your drip. So don't be shy. If you're in pain, you can get rid of it."

"Okay," Blair said. "I'm not shy."

"Let me call the lactation nurse. She'll help you get comfortable."

Eleanor walked over to the bed and said, "I think we'll leave you three alone now. You don't want us here while you're trying to feed the baby for the first time."

"You can stay, Mom. You'll see this a lot."

"I know, honey, and I want to see you feed your child, but not tonight. Tonight you and Kylie should be alone with him."

"All right," Blair said. "Give me a kiss."

Eleanor kissed her and gave her a gentle hug. "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. And I'm so excited about little Mackenzie. He's such a beautiful boy."

"Thanks, Mom," Blair said, now looking and sounding a little more like herself.

Werner started to cry again and wasn't able to say much more than "I love you" to his daughter. The couple left after talking to Kylie for a few minutes.

Monique came back in with a cheery-looking nurse. "Blair, Kylie, this is Ellen. She's going to help you feed Mackenzie."

"Where's this Christmas baby who wants a dinner?" Ellen asked.

"Maybe we should have named him Nick," Blair said. Kylie smiled at her, seeing more and more of her normal personality emerging.

"Don't remind me of Nick," Kylie said. "I have about thirty people I have to call tonight, and I haven't even started."

Monique said, "Let me call our mutual friends, buddy. That'll knock a couple off your list."

"Thanks. That'll help."

"You can make some calls while I talk to the nurse," Blair said.

"Are you nuts? I don't know a lot about this; I have a lot to learn."

Monique patted Kylie on the back. "I'm gonna take off. I'll make some calls on the way home. I'm sure this'll be a nice Christmas gift to everyone who loves you, Shakes. It sure was for me."

Kylie hugged her again and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks for everything, Nique. And give my love to the boys."

"Will do. I'll check in with you tomorrow. Try to get some rest, you two. I know it won't be easy, but you'll be happier tomorrow if you can."

"We'll try," Kylie said. "See you tomorrow."

Ellen was busily getting things in order, and when the room was quiet, she helped Blair get into a good position. Propping pillows up created a decent platform to rest Mackenzie on, and Kylie promised to go home before the next feeding and get the nursing pillow they'd bought. "Now, the most important thing is to relax. He wants to eat, and you want to feed him, but sometimes one or both of you gets frustrated." She pulled Blair's gown aside and said, "Your nipples are a very nice size; he shouldn't have any trouble latching on."

She picked Mackenzie up and put her little finger into his mouth, smiling when he immediately started sucking. "He knows what to do. That's half the battle." Ellen guided the baby into position and said, "He needs to get your entire nipple into his mouth. Even the areola has to get in there for the tip of the nipple to touch the roof of his mouth. It's going to feel very strange at first, but just relax, and things will work out."

"Does he have an off switch?" Blair asked, her head starting to throb from the incessant crying.

"Once he latches onto your nipple, he'll be a happy little boy," Ellen said. "Guaranteed."

Ellen put the baby in a football-style hold, keeping him away from Blair's incision. "Now grasp your breast and tickle his lower lip with your nipple," she said.

Blair tried to get Mackenzie to open his mouth, but he was so busy screaming that he didn't get the idea. Kylie was dancing around behind the nurse, acting like she wanted to step in and help, but there wasn't a thing she could do. This was between Mackenzie and Blair, and they would have to learn to bond — on their own.

Ellen repositioned Mackenzie a few times, and he finally opened his mouth, but when he latched on, Blair's eyes popped open, and she gasped, "Jesus! Is it supposed to hurt this much?"

"No, no, it shouldn't be painful if he's latched on properly." She took her finger and broke the suction, then Blair tried again. It took many attempts, and Kylie was about to jump out of her skin, but the baby finally found his way. Blair wasn't in pain, but it wasn't the most pleasant experience of her life, either. Having the baby so intimately attached to her, however, made up for the discomfort.

He started to suckle, but it was clear he wasn't swallowing. "Why isn't he swallowing?" Kylie asked.

"It'll take the colostrum a few seconds to let down. He has to suckle for a little while to make it start to flow."

The blonde looked up at Kylie and said, "You have no idea how weird this feels." She glanced at her IV and said, "Can you bump me up a little bit, honey? I'm starting to feel pretty bad. Sitting up like this sucks."

Kylie adjusted the drip and sat on the edge of the bed, watching her partner feed their child. Mackenzie started to swallow, and Kylie could see his entire jaw working to satisfy his hunger. She had an absolutely love-sick expression on her face, and Ellen started to walk away. "I'll come back in a few minutes and help you switch to the other breast. Enjoy," she said, smiling at the new family.

"My God," Kylie said when the nurse had left. "I've never been so awestruck. This is such a miracle."

"I'm still getting used to this," Blair admitted. "This is a lot to process in one day."

"I know, honey," Kylie said. "You just take your time. You've been through an awful lot today. Most people don't start nursing a baby after major abdominal surgery. They tend to lie in bed and moan."

"That sounds good right about now," Blair admitted. "But someone's very hungry."

"It's so amazing," Kylie said. "A few hours ago, he was floating in amniotic fluid. Now he knows that he's supposed to latch onto your breast and suck for all he's worth. How in the hell does he know that?"

"Instinct, I guess. The whole thing would have stopped with Adam and Eve if Cain and Able didn't know how to suck."

"Mmm … good point," Kylie said. "Mackenzie sure has a good instinct."

"I think he takes after you," Blair said, giving her partner a loving smile. "You know how you like to get as much of my breast into your mouth as you can? He's the same way. Like mother like son."

"Yeah, but I never get a meal while I do it."

"Don't count on one, either," Blair said, giving her a smirk. "The thought of having sex again is about as appealing as a root canal."

"You'll get the urge again," Kylie said. "And we'll both be so tired for a while that neither of us will want to make love. Don't worry about it, honey. Things will all work out."

Blair wiggled her finger, urging Kylie to come close. "Am I the worst mother in the world?" she asked quietly. "He seems like a stranger who's eating my breast."

Kylie smiled at her, giving her one of her high-wattage grins. "He is a stranger, honey. The reality of Mackenzie is a lot different from the little guy we dreamed about. But don't worry. You'll fall in love with him in a few days. I'm sure of it."

"Promise?" she asked, her voice a little tremulous.

"Cross my heart," Kylie said. "You're gonna love him with all your heart."

"That can't happen," Blair said. "'Cause you've got all my heart. You're gonna have to give some of it to Mackenzie."

"I'll be happy to share," Kylie said. "Your heart's big enough to keep us both feeling very, very well loved."

„G

Every time Blair woke during that long first night, Kylie was sitting in a chair, one hand on the bassinet that held Mackenzie, the other resting somewhere on her body. There was something so comforting about having her lover so close — even though she was clearly asleep at several points — that Blair was able to reassure herself that the pain was temporary — and that soon they’d all be home.

When Mackenzie’s crying woke her sometime during the night, she reached out and automatically felt Kylie’s hand grasp her own. She opened her eyes and saw the sweetest smile that she’d ever seen on Kylie’s face. She was holding little Mackenzie like a football in one arm, his tiny body wrapped snugly, and with her other hand, she stroked Blair, gently trying to rouse her. “Our guy’s hungry,” Kylie said. “He says you’re the only one who can help.”

“He’s lying,” Blair mumbled. “There are dozens of women around here who could do it. Bitches.”

“Nice to know you haven’t lost your sense of humor,” Kylie teased. She gave Blair an empathetic look and said, “I know it’s uncomfortable, honey, I really do.”

“You know, I hate the word uncomfortable. You guys use it for everything from a rash to third-degree burns. You really ought to come up with a list of words to use to show you have some idea of how this really feels.”

“Uhm … agonizing?” Kylie said, trying to make her partner smile.

“That was labor,” Blair said. She pushed the button on the bed, getting into a more upright position. “Keep trying.”

Kylie pulled her gown aside, then helped her get the baby into position. He didn’t get the idea right away, and Kylie had to force his mouth open several times until he was properly latched on. After the second time, she silently prayed that Blair would curb her colorful cursing before Mackenzie learned to vocalize. She was very glad they had a private room as well, knowing that many new mothers might not appreciate Blair’s frank critique of how it felt to have the baby latch on improperly. Finally, he managed to open his mouth wide enough, and the nipple was seated correctly. Kylie relaxed and sank back into her chair, very content to watch her child nurse.

Blair was obviously very tired, but she relaxed as well, and soon she started to stroke his dark head, singing softly while he suckled. Kylie watched the pair, and felt that her heart might actually burst with love. She started to cry for the umpteenth time that night, but this time, she didn’t care. Only Blair saw her, and she had no secrets from this woman. They’d gone through an experience that had revealed depths and layers of fear and pain and joy, and Kylie was determined to never hide any part of her self from her partner again.

„G

At 8:00 a.m. they were up feeding the baby again. Both women looked much the worse for wear, but they were in relatively good spirits. It was Christmas morning, and they’d both received a wonderful present — who was eating like he’d been hungry for nine months.

Blair was ready to switch him to her other breast, and Kylie jumped up to help. She gently removed the baby, cooed to him while she turned him, then helped him to latch on again. He did well this time, and Blair only flinched a little when he started to suck. Kylie covered her up, smoothing her gown in place, then sat down and tickled Mackenzie’s feet through the thin blanket.

At the sound of sniffling, both women looked up to find Sadie standing in the doorway, crying her eyes out.

Kylie blinked, trying to get her mind to work. She knew it was early, far too early, for visitors, but the woman standing in the doorway was undoubtedly Sadie, dressed in a sedate, blue suit with a green and red print scarf around her neck.

“I’m sorry I’m here so early,” she said, “but I haven’t slept a wink all night!

“But Sadie,” Kylie said, stunned, “visiting hours don’t start for … hours!”

“I know, I know,” she said, edging closer to the bed, “but I had to see him! If you look like you know where you’re going, most of the nurses don’t get in your way.”

“Most?” Kylie asked, already afraid for her reputation.

“Oh, one of them tried to stop me, so I waited in the stairwell until she left her station.”

Kylie sighed, hoping no one would associate her with Sadie. She snuck a look at Blair, who looked strangely pleased to see her mother-in-law. “Come meet your grandson,” she said, smiling at the older woman.

Sadie practically leapt for the child, and when she reached the side of the bed, she immediately put her hands on him, touching him everywhere through the thin blanket. “He’s so beautiful,” she cried, tears streaming down her face. “Oh, Blair, I’m so happy!”

“So am I,” Blair said, a little of the sparkle coming back into her eyes. “My mom and dad were with us when he was born,” she said, “but other than them, you’re the first person to meet him.” Her smile grew and she added, “That’s how it should be. Grandparents come first.”

Дата добавления: 2015-09-04