Chapter 3 38 страница

The room was lined with modern, stainless steel bookcases, and there was a glass conference table with four chrome and gray leather chairs surrounding it. Her massive desk and Aeron chair barely took up a quarter of the room, leaving plenty of space for a full-sized gray leather couch — upon which she'd spent many a night napping while monitoring patients in the nearby hospital.

She pulled a conference chair out for David, after standing nice and close to him so he could see that she was several inches taller than he was. She didn't normally play games like this, but she thought David might be the kind of guy who would be intimidated by them, and she wanted every possible tool at her disposal. "You know where Blair and I live," she said calmly. "And I believe she told you she'd be glad to talk to you about her personal life. What makes you show up at my office?"

"I wanna know when you started fucking her," he spat, his eyes glowing like embers. "Was she still living with me?"

Kylie leaned back in her seat and gazed at him until he met her eyes. "I don't know what kind of person would talk about her partner behind her back, but I'm not one of them. I don't have a relationship with you, David. There isn't a reason in the world for you to ask me a question about your former wife. Unless you're afraid of her, that is." She spoke calmly and quietly, acting as if she were perfectly at ease.

He slapped at the table with his bare hand, making it ring when it vibrated against the chrome base. Kylie struggled to continue looking calm, but she was rattled by his obviously explosive temper. She wiped her clammy hands on her lab coat and kept them under the table so he wouldn't see them shake. "You're the one who stole her from me! You're the one I have a problem with."

"Fine. It doesn't matter whom you're angry with. I'm still not going to talk about Blair behind her back. That's not the kind of relationship we have. You're welcome to come to our house and discuss anything that's on your mind. We'll both be there, and I'm sure we can sort this all out."

"I don't want to come to your fucking house!" he said, glaring at her with a venomous expression. "I don't wanna see my wife shacked up with the dyke who stole her from me!"

"David, I didn't steal your wife. Blair isn't the kind of woman who could have been stolen, even if I'd tried." Kylie's mind was racing, and suddenly, she had an idea that came to her like a gift. She gave David as big a smile as she could and said, "You're gonna have to learn how to get along with me if you want to have a hand in raising this baby. If you and Blair share custody, we'll probably see each other every week. Maybe more."

"There's no way in hell I'll ever get along with you! You're out of your fucking mind if you think I'm gonna want to be involved in this! You two are gonna have that baby so screwed up, there's nothing I could do to fix him!"

"I certainly don't think we're gonna screw him up," Kylie said, "but Blair and I are going to raise him according to our values. He'll be around a lot of gay people, and we'll teach him that he shouldn't judge people by their sexual orientation."

"He'll be ashamed of you two," David said, glaring at her. "Poor little bastard."

"Not if we raise him right," Kylie said, trying to control her temper. "Even though I'll be with him most of the time, you're the baby's father, and you'll have some influence. We both thought it would be nice if you could take him most weekends. We really haven't had much time alone — just as lovers, I mean. The baby's going to need an awful lot of attention, and we won't have much time to lie in bed on the weekends like we do now."

David's eyes were about to burst from his head, and his face was so red that Kylie thought she might have to perform CPR. The thought flashed through her mind that he might pick up a bookend and bash her brains in, but she soldiered on, knowing this might be her only chance to really get to him.

"We know that most of the day-to-day duties will be ours, but fair's fair. I'm not gonna have to pay one cent for his care, but you're on the hook for fifty percent. You should get to visit him on a regular basis. We want him to grow up believing that a man can be a good parent, too. If you care for him for two full days a week, he'll think of you as a real parent, not just the guy his mommy was married to when she got pregnant." She forced herself to laugh, and even though it sounded artificial to her ear, it got David's attention. "It's gonna be hard to explain all this to the baby, but someday he'll understand that you weren't able to get his mommy pregnant. I'm sure he'd rather know his birth father, but I think he'll bond with you if you spend a lot of quality time with him."

He stared at her, his hands gripping the edge of the table. He was holding onto it so tightly that she was afraid it might break off in his hands. He finally spoke, and each word was thrown at her like a dagger. "I don't want anything to do with you or that damned baby!"

She blinked at him, trying to act like she was surprised. "But … what about the weekends? We were really counting on you."

He stood so quickly that his chair fell back onto the floor with a loud bang and the glass tabletop rose a few inches and slammed back onto the base. David leaned over the table, his face inches from Kylie. She knew she was shaking, but she tried with all her might to look as calm as she possibly could. "I don't ever want to see him! You two dykes can bleed me dry, but you can't make me be a father!"

"Are you serious? I mean, I know he's not really your son, but your name will be on the birth certificate. He's legally yours, if nothing else."

"If I had my way, that kid would never know about me."

"Huh. That really surprises me after all you went through to have him." Kylie paused for a second, acting as though she'd just thought of something. "You know, if you really feel that way, you can terminate your rights. I don't think you should, but you can if you really want to." Her heart was beating so loudly that she was sure he could hear it.

"I've already checked with my lawyer," he said. "I'm stuck. You two can stick it to me until the kid's eighteen. You'll probably run the bill up to spite me."

She scowled at him. "Hey, we're both busy women. We’ll need a live-in nanny, and they aren't cheap."

"You fucking bitch," he sneered.

She leaned back in her chair and held her hands up. "Don't bitch at me. You're the one who wanted to have a baby, and now you're on the hook. You make a lot of money, and it costs a lot of money to raise a baby. Hell, one of the pre-schools we've looked at is $1000 a week." She made a gesture of futility. "I don't think it's necessary to send him to a school with on-staff psychologists and movement specialists, but he should learn a lot with three teachers for every ten two-year-olds." Laughing wryly, Kylie said, "Blair wants to make sure he gets into any Ivy League school, and you've gotta get on track early in the game."

His voice was low and even, but the slight twitch in his eyebrow showed he was ready to snap. "If I could get away with it, I'd spend every dime I had to have a hit put on you."

"Temper, temper," she said, smirking at him even though she was afraid she'd wet her pants. "You don't have to get all dramatic about this. If you hate me so much, you ought to give up and get out of the way. There's a thing called step-parent adoption where I could take your place as the baby's parent. Check with your lawyer. That might be a way to get you off the hook — completely. Jesus, we don't want you around if you're gonna be an asshole about it."

His right eyebrow lifted. "Off the hook … including child support?"

"Yeah. I don't know much about it, but if you don't wanna be involved, you shouldn't be. Like you said, the baby's gonna have enough things to deal with. It'd screw him up worse to know that you wanted to have me killed."

He stared at her for a moment, looking like he wanted to get the job over with right then. She didn't get up, mostly because she was sure her knees were too weak to hold her. "I'll talk to my lawyer." He paused for a second, gave her a look filled with disdain, uttered a short, bitter laugh, then walked out.

She managed to get up and watch him leave, standing in her doorway for a second, knowing that Jonathan Greene would pop out of his office as soon as he heard the outer door close. Her prediction was correct, and Jon walked down the hallway. "What in the hell was that all about?"

Kylie gave him a half-smile. "One of the side effects of falling in love with a woman going through a divorce. I don't think he'll be back." She pushed off her doorjamb and said, "I'd better go talk with Christy. She's probably a little freaked out."

"What did he say to her?"

"Nothing too bad. He asked if she had orders to keep all of my lovers' husbands out of the office."

"Does she?" Jon called out to Kylie's back, earning a discreet obscene gesture from the departing doctor.

„G

"Hi, sweetheart!" Blair called out. Kylie slid the door open and watched her lover performing some lazy kicks in the pool. She was holding herself up by her elbows and had obviously already done her laps.

"Look at those pink cheeks!" Kylie said. "You're really been working, haven't you?"

"Yeah, I have," Blair said. "The feeling of being in the pool is so damned nice. This is the only time of the day that I feel light. I don't quite feel like my old self, but it's a close as I get. Thanks again for persuading me to start swimming, honey."

"I'm glad you enjoy it," Kylie said. "Are you gonna stay in for a while?"

"Yeah. I thought I'd float around a little. It feels too good to get out."

"Uhm … I have something to talk to you about. Want me to wait?"

"Not with that look on your face I don't," Blair said, her brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Really," Kylie said. She kicked off her shoes, then slid her hands up under her dress and took her nylons off. She paused a minute, then stripped the rest of the way, saying, "Why am I gonna sit here in a dress when that pool looks so good?" She walked over and got in, jumping around until her body acclimated to the temperature. "It looked warmer from out there," she complained.

"Come here and I'll warm you up."

Blair put her arms around her, and Kylie tried to gain as much skin contact as possible. "That's better. You're a little heater, aren't ya?"

"I didn't use to be, but I'm a baby-making factory now. The furnace is always on. Now tell me what's on your mind."

"David came to my office today."

Blair didn't say a thing. She pulled away and stared at Kylie, her mouth slightly open.

"Yeah. It's wasn't a pleasant surprise for me, either."

"Why didn't you call me?" The tone Blair used was a little louder than it needed to be, and Kylie could almost see her blood pressure rising.

"I didn't call you because it didn't occur to me," the doctor said.

"David is my problem, Kylie," she said, her voice still loud. "He's my soon-to-be-ex-husband, and I want to be the one to deal with him. I wouldn't dream of talking to Stacey behind your back."

Kylie stared at her partner for a minute, then said. "Okay. What would you do if Stacey showed up at your office and started asking where the woman was who stole her spouse? Would you close your office door and dial my number? Or would you get your ass out to the receptionist before any of your clients heard her?" Kylie's voice rose with each word, and by the time she was finished, she was yelling at nearly full voice.

"Oh, Jesus, Kylie," Blair said, her eyes tightly closed. "I'm so sorry he did that. I'm so sorry, honey." She put her arms around Kylie's chilled body and hugged her tight. "You don't deserve to be treated like that."

"No, I don't," Kylie said, her voice soft and slow, "but that's the situation I was presented with. I had to act — right then."

"I'm sorry I made you angry," Blair said. "Of course you didn't have time to call me."

Kylie pulled away and swept some of the wet hair from Blair's face. "Even if I'd had time, I wouldn't have called you."

"What? Damn it, why won't you listen to me? I want to be the one to deal with David. He's my problem, Kylie. Mine!"

"No, he's not." Kylie was giving her partner her most intractable expression, which puzzled Blair completely.

"How can you say that? I was married to him, I'm the one who got pregnant with him. This has nothing to do with you."

"What part of the word 'partner' don't you understand?" Kylie asked, her eyes burning with intensity. "You tell me you love me and want to share everything with me. That means everything, Blair. The good and the bad. David's behavior effects our family— all of us. This isn't about you alone!"

"Kylie, I do love you, and I do want to share my life with you. But you can't expect to get into the middle of my relationship with David! There are parts of our lives we have to keep separate! I don't tell you how to operate on people, and you don't tell me how to sell real estate. This is exactly the same! My relationship — my problem. Now, if he ever contacts you again, I want you to refuse to talk to him. Send him to me. Do you understand?"

Staring at her for a second, the doctor said, "Yeah. I think I can comprehend a sentence or two. Especially when they’re delivered in such a condescending tone." She stood closer to her partner and said, "Here's a message back. If David shows up at my office again, I'll handle it exactly like I did today. Do you understand?"

"Jesus Christ! Why are you being such a jerk about this?"

Kylie turned and hoisted herself out of the pool. She stood up and gave Blair a look the blonde had never seen from her. "Thanks for the support, partner. I'm very glad you had that revelation in Chicago. If this is how you let me in, I've gotta admit, it was warmer when I was outside." She walked into the house, her naked body dripping as she padded across the stone deck.

Blair watched her walk away, stunned by her words and her demeanor. She wanted to chase after her and have it out, but something stopped her. She'd never seen Kylie so angry, and she thought she'd better calm down before they had a massive fight. She sank down into the water and started to swim again, hoping that the water would clear her mind and let her replay their very unpleasant encounter.

Half an hour later, Blair wrapped herself in a bath sheet and ran for the house. This was the part of swimming she hated, but she had to admit that it got her blood pumping. It was only about sixty-eight degrees, but after the pool, it felt like jumping into a snow bank. She walked through the house, listening for any sign of Kylie, but the only sound was the eight little feet scampering along with her. "Kylie?" she called out.

When she got no reply she went to their room and found a note. "Dear Blair, I need some time alone, so I'm going to a movie to cool down. I'll be home by ten. Love, Kylie."

"Jesus!" she said to the dogs. "I hate it when someone walks out on an argument!"

They looked up at her, but had little to offer in reply.

„G

Kylie got home earlier than she'd predicted. At 9:20 she walked into the house and found Blair in the kitchen, writing something on a notepad. "Hi," the doctor said, her voice quiet.

Blair looked up and said, "I hate to have someone walk out on me. It makes me feel like I'm being punished."

Kylie nodded. "I'm sorry. But I was very angry, and I didn't want to stay here and let it escalate. I didn't feel like I was in control, and I hate that feeling."

"So, no 'I promise I won't leave during a fight, Blair?'"

She shook her head. "No, I can't promise that. I'll try not to, but I can't promise."

"What's gotten into you?" Blair asked. "I've never seen you so … I don't even know what to call it."

Kylie walked over to her and asked, "What are you writing?"

Blair tapped the paper with her pen. "We have to discuss this. There are things that we have to keep separate. I'm making a list. I know you might not agree, but I need to keep some of my autonomy."

Kylie took the paper and shook her head. "So … you want to keep our finances separate, you want me to make all the decisions about the house, you want to make all the decisions about your career and you want me to make the decisions about my career. You want to have our prior relationships stay separate, and you want to pay the majority of Mackenzie's expenses." She gazed at it for another minute, then put it down on the counter. "Here's my list. I want to merge our money into one account. I want to pay for everything, including our son's expenses, out of that money. I want to put the house into joint tenancy. I will never make a major decision about my career without consulting you first. And, while I don't want you to seek out my former lovers to chat about me, if you ever run into one of them, you are free to say whatever comes to mind. I trust you, Blair, and I know you wouldn't ever betray my confidences." She turned and walked down the hall, heading for bed.

"Kylie!" Blair called after her. "Stop running from me!"

"Then stop hurting my feelings!" she yelled, whirling and facing her partner. "You've been treating me like shit all night, and I'm sick of it!"

Blair had been walking after her, but she stopped on a dime. Her hand went to her throat and she gasped, "I've been treating you like shit?"

"Yes!" She was trying to control her emotions, but she couldn't do it any longer. Kylie broke down and started to cry like Blair had never seen her. She turned and held onto the wall for support as she made her way to their room, then fell face-first onto the bed.

"Sweetheart, baby, tell me what I did to hurt you so badly." Blair was beside herself with worry, completely puzzled by Kylie's behavior.

"I had a horrible time with David, and you didn't even ask me what happened! You just got pissed that I talked to him even after I told you I didn't have any choice!"

"Kylie, you told me you'd do it again. It was like you were trying to pick a fight." She started stroking her lover's back, wincing in sympathy when she felt how hot and wet it was.

"I had him in a position to get him to make some concessions about our son," she said. "Our son! Or do you get to make all of the decisions about Mackenzie, too? I guess that only makes sense, since you want to pay all of his expenses."

"No, no," she said, trying to explain herself. "I only wanted to pay for him because you pay for the house. It seemed fair to me."

Kylie rolled over and sat up. She grasped Blair by the shoulders and said, "A relationship isn't about being fair! I call you my partner, but you're not my business partner! You're my spouse!"

"I know that, honey, I know that," Blair said, trying to soothe her lover with her voice.

"No, you don't! You say you understand, but you don't. You were more concerned about keeping David on your side of the ledger than you were with hearing how hard today was for me. He frightened me and made me look like a fool in my own office! Don't you even care?"

"Oh, fuck," Blair murmured, closing her eyes. "Of course I care." She put her arms around Kylie and said, "Please tell me what happened."

"No. I'm too upset."

"Kylie, please don't shut me out like this. Please, honey."

The doctor pulled back a bit, wiping her cheeks. She looked at Blair. "I want to know if you really want to be my spouse. I'm not interested in having you as a business partner I have sex with. That won't work for me."

Blair looked stunned. "Of course I want to be your spouse! How can you even ask that?"

"Because of that fucking list!" Kylie said, more hot tears spilling down her cheeks. "We’re not going to re-create the kind of relationship you had with David. If that's what you want, you've come to the wrong place. If your autonomy is worth more than our merger— we've got big problems, and we'd better solve them before Mackenzie's born."

"But … you're asking me to do things I've never done in my whole life," Blair said, her voice shaking. "Why is it so important to you?"

"Because it shows our commitment to each other. It shows that we don't keep score. We share. What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine. If I couldn't work, you'd support me. And the same is true for you."

"Of course I'd support you, Kylie. I can't believe that's even a question!"

"It is a question. It's one thing to support me, and another thing to have me have to ask you for money. Spouses shouldn't have to do that!"

"What about money we've saved? Do you want your name on my investments?"

"Yes," Kylie said, her blue eyes unblinking, "and I want your name on mine."

"But … what if things don't … work out?" Blair said, wincing on the last words.

Kylie stared at her for another few moments, then said, "You're either in or you're out. You can't have one hand in a marriage and the other one preparing for divorce. You have to jump in. It's the only way." She took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. "I know this frightens you, but it's the only way it'll work. You have to trust me — totally."

Blair's eyes closed, and she started to cry, finally leaning against Kylie for support. "It's so scary," she mumbled. "It doesn't make any sense to me to trust someone that much. You could hurt me so badly."

"Love doesn't make sense," Kylie said. "It's completely irrational! It's trusting someone with your most valuable secrets, your most personal thoughts, your entire future! I know it's scary, baby. It scares me, too. But I truly believe that we have to lose our selves and form a new entity — our marriage."

Blair looked up at her, tears still filling her eyes. "Is this why people are so nervous on their wedding days?"

"Yeah. The ones with half a brain, that is," Kylie said, managing a small smile. "Most people assume they'll walk away if things don't work out, but that's not me, Blair. I can't be that way. This will work out. We'll make it work. I commit every part of myself to having a happy marriage with you. For better or worse isn't a stock phrase for me."

Blair sucked in a breath and closed her eyes, looking like she was about to cry. She didn't speak for a few minutes, but Kylie didn't say a word. She let her partner think. "It was for me. When I got married, I was scared to death, but that was mostly because I was afraid things would change a lot between us. I thought David would start trying to exert his will over me, and I knew I couldn't live like that. I would have left him if he'd done that. No question."

"Sweetheart, I have no intention of exerting my will over you. I don't want to own you. I want to become one with you. There's a very big difference there."

"Is there?"

"Yes, yes, a merger takes all of the burdens and joys and spreads them around between the partners. It doesn't make one person the managing partner. We'll be completely equal. You'll still retain your free will, Blair. I mean, if you want to change firms, and I don’t think you should, you still have the final choice. I want to be informed and allowed to offer my opinion."

"I can't tell you how big a change this will be for me, Kylie." Blair shivered. "A couple of weeks ago, you said that it was okay if we didn't promise the till death do us part stuff."

"I was fooling myself," Kylie said. "I realized that today. I thought I could take it as long as you acted like you wanted to love me for the rest of your life. But I can't. I need to have you make a commitment. I need that, Blair. I'm sorry that I didn't know it until now, but I need it."

Blair held her head in her hands, her eyes closed tightly. "I have to think. I need some time alone."

Kylie held her hands up. "Go ahead. Let me know when you decide." She got up and went into the den, leaving Blair alone to think.

It was after midnight when Kylie walked back into the bedroom. Blair was nowhere to be found, so the doctor used her failsafe locating device. "Nicky! Nora!" The dogs came running from the other end of the house, and Kylie muttered to herself as she walked to the guest room. The door was open, but she still knocked before she entered. Blair was lying on her side, her knees drawn up in a semblance of the fetal position. "When you said you needed some time alone, it didn't dawn on me that you meant this alone," Kylie said, more dismayed than she was letting on.

The blonde nodded. "Don't be mad. But I can't think when I'm with you. This is a very big decision for me, and if you're next to me, I won't be able to concentrate."

Kylie gave her a dubious look and said, "Since when do I have that kind of effect on you?"

Blair looked at her for a long time, finally asking, "You really don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"How you affect me. How the whole world seems like a wonderful place when we're together. How everything — even the toughest thing — seems like it's possible when you're by my side." She reached out and took Kylie's hand, squeezing it to her breast as she closed her eyes tightly. "How very much I love you."

Kylie sat down on the bed, her weight making Blair roll towards her. She ran her hand through the silky blonde hair and said, "I guess I don't know."

"It's true," the smaller woman said. "It's all true. Your presence is so powerful that I can't think clearly. Things that I know are gonna be difficult don't look like that big a deal when you're here."

Дата добавления: 2015-09-04