Now to give up trying to change a man

	What to remember	What she can do
	Don't ask him too many questions when he is upset or he will feel you are trying to change him.	Ignore that he is upset unless he wants to talk to you about it. Show some initial concern, but not too much, as an invitation to talk.
	Give up trying to improve him in any way. He needs your love, not rejection, to grow	Trust him to grow on his own. Honestly share feelings but without the demand that he change.
	When you offer unsolicited advice he may feel mistrusted, controlled, or rejected.	Practice patience. Wait until he asks for your advice.
	When a man becomes stubborn and resists change he is not feeling loved; he is afraid to admit his mistakes for fear of not being loved.	Practice showing him that he doesn't have to be perfect to deserve your love. Practice forgive ness. (See chapter 11)
	If you make sacrifices hoping he will do the same for you then he will feel pressured to change.	Practice doing things for yourself and not depending on him to make you happy.
	You can share negative feelings without trying to change him. When he feels accepted it is easier for him to listen.	When sharing feelings, let him know that you are not trying to tell him what to do but that you want him to take your feelings into consideration.
	If you give him directions and make decisions for him he will feel corrected and controlled.	Relax and surrender. Practice accepting imperfection. Make his feelings more important than perfection and don't lecture or correct him.

As men and women learn to support each other in the ways that are most important for their own unique needs, change and growth will become automatic. With a greater awareness of your partner's six primary needs you can redirect your loving support according to their needs and make your relationships dramatically easier and more fulfilling.

Chapter 9

Дата добавления: 2015-07-19