Chapter 20

Tess didn’t remember stumbling below deck or crashing onto the stateroom’s lush mattress.

All that mattered was the taste of him, the heavy weight of his body covering hers, the smoky, spiced scent of him.

They kissed frantically while trying to divest one another of clothing. His lips burned a ragged path down her neck, pausing only to tear the blouse over her head. She struggled to undo his buttons but each brush of his fingers against her skin drove her to distraction.

“Having trouble?” he laughed huskily.

Agilely twisting her hips, Tess reversed their positions so she lay on top. “Not anymore.” She impatiently ripped the remainder of his buttons.

A wave of heat enveloped her. His body was a work of art. Lean and hard, she couldn’t find an inch of fat if she tried. Tess mapped the defined ridges of his flat abs. Her muscles twitched as her hand ventured lower, swirling the coarse trail of dark hair that plunged into his pants.

Adonis made a strangled noise and bolted upright, smashing his mouth to hers. Hot and seeking, he ravaged. In a deft, one-handed maneuver, her bra unsnapped and melted from her person.

She so did not want to know how he’d come into possession of such a technique.

Electricity hot-wired through her as he drew her nipple into his mouth, laving the stiff bud before sucking hard. Sheathed within the tight confines of his pants, she felt his swollen heat. Blind with need, she swiveled her hips, extracting pained groan from him.

“Fuck Tess.” He kissed her hard.

His hands rode the small of her back, dipping into her slacks, and dexterously sliding them down. She disentangled their limbs just long enough to kick them off.

He stopped her before she crawl back into his lap. “Sit.” Low and guttural, the command struck a resonating chord within her.

Short of breath, she followed his direction and perched on the edge of the bed.

Her heart bobbed to her throat as he knelt down and spread her knees. As if sensing her trepidation, he laid a trail of soothing kisses down her collarbone, breasts, and belly before sliding her legs over his shoulders.

Tess trembled as the warmth of his breath ghosted the moist folds of her cleft. She choked on a moan as his tongue parted her and leisurely swept the length of her seam. The duvet bunched beneath her white-knuckled grip as he worked her over slowly, methodically.

Unlike the last time, it wasn’t manic-driven exercise.

It was a different kind of torture all the same.

Fingers and tongue worked in rhythmic, oscillating concert, winding her hotter, tighter, coaxing her to the summit of a climax before gently lowering her back to earth. He kept her off balance, shifting technique and speed, replacing two fingers with none, switching between broad, sweeping strokes and short, teasing licks.

And he was driving her to insanity.

Her body pulsed for release. She rocked against his face, trying to ease the pain of the thick knot roped low in her gut. “Please, Adonis. Please.”

He ignored her and continued the torturous dance until she was writhing, sobbing, begging for release. Every pressure point throbbed. Black cradled her vision. Heat overloaded her senses.

Crystal sharp, his gaze was the last thing she saw before his fingers curled into her.

She almost shot off the bed as the arching crescendo catapulted her over the edge. Her orgasm descended like a tsunami, crashing through her without regard for anything.

Tess didn’t know how long she floated in the aftershocks. When she finally came to, Tess realized he’d repositioned in the center of the bed.

Adonis, having lost his pants and boxers at some point, lay stretched on his side next to her, drinking in the sight.

She stayed the urge to cover up. “What?” she asked, her cheeks flushed.

“I want to paint you.” His hand skimmed the swell of her hip. “Just like this.”

She almost laughed. “I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable with strangers staring at my naked body.”

Growling, he pulled her against him. “It’d be for my eyes alone.”

“And why would you want that?” she asked breathily, distracted by the hardness prodding her thigh.

With feline dexterity, Adonis stealthily situated himself over her. His driving heat created a static electric field that called the fine hairs on her body to a salute. “Why wouldn’t I? Especially when you come like that?” he said roughly, his voice unraveling.

“What’s stopping you now?”

His eyes became a molten gold.

From somewhere, a condom package materialized. She watched hungrily as he sheathed himself. Even though she’d just came, need clawed her belly.

He rubbed against her, coating himself with her slickness.

Tess bit her lip to keep from crying out as he pushed into her, a sweet, aching intrusion that kept going and going until finally he seated himself at the hilt.

Flush against him, her skin shivered against his. Tess could feel him everywhere. The smattering of hair grazing her nipples. His pelvic bone riding against her clit. The steady thump of his heart beating in time with hers. The solid weight of his body.

This didn’t feel like just sex. It felt like completeness.

It unnerved her.

It overwhelmed her.

As if caught in the same chaotic maelstrom, his gaze held hers, the emotion sizzling there trapping her breath. The nerves in her body came alive as he began a slow, rhythmic grind.

A hot wire of tension wound in her sex. Seeking release, she arched to meet his thrusts.

He was beautiful. The steeled sinew of his arms pillared either side of her head.

His eyes were still on her, their vividness so sharp it hurt. Stripped of his defenses, she glimpsed everything: his fears, his insecurities, his pain, his affection.

Heart level with her throat, insubstantial words built and crumbled before she could give them shape.

Lacing their fingers over her head, Adonis covered her mouth, pouring himself into the kiss.

Words became irrelevant.

Sensation stirred around her navel, momentum gathering until the tingling warmth spread to her extremities.

Her thighs hugged him tight, her inner muscles pulling him deeper as she came on a wave of a languorous pleasure. It spilled through her, washing the world away.

Tess must’ve dozed off because she awoke with her back to him, his wide palm on her hip.

Even before she was fully conscious, she knew he was waiting to see how she would react. The heat of his gaze seared holes into the back of her head.

Tess played with the hem of the duvet. What was she supposed to say? Was it as good for you as it was for me?

She always hated this part. Usually this would be the scene where she would make a natural yet swift exit.

His arm curled around her waist. Tess yelped as he tucked into his side. “You’re thinking too much.”

She didn’t deny it. Satiated, his features were lax, replete. Her fingers replaced her eyes as she traced the stubborn angles of his face.

Adonis closed his eyes, visibly weakening under her touch. When he reopened them, an emotion she couldn’t place shimmered there.

He caught her hand and pressed a kiss on the center of her palm.

She couldn't help but smile shyly. "What was that for?"

"Why does it have to be for anything?" he taunted, his voice a deep, resounding baritone that rolled through her.

Feeling more comfortable, Tess grinned. "Oh, so it wasn't a thank you for the best sex of your life?"

Adonis scoffed. " Let’s not get ahead of ourselves."

She laughed and attempted to punch him. “Asshole.”

He snagged her wrist and dragged her onto his chest. She settled into him like a cat curling up for a light nap.

She sketched figure eights along southern border of his ribcage. “What made you transfer schools?” His muscles tensed beneath her cheek. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s cool,” she backpedaled.

“No,” he said tersely, needing to convince himself. “After we graduated, I thought about laying off the drugs. Planned on it, actually. But once I arrived in Cali, I started hanging out with the same groups of people, dealing with the same drama. It was like prep school all over again and eventually I just went with the flow.” He inhaled. “Then someone introduced me to smack.”

Her nails bit into his skin. Although not intimately acquainted with the drug, she knew of its destruction. Her high school in Brooklyn had only been a few blocks away from a heroin house. She’d walk home, pretending not to see them slumped on stoops wearing unwashed clothes, their teeth rotting and arms a smorgasbord of collapsed veins, oozing sores, and track marks.

Her fingers automatically sought the crook of his arm. His skin was unbroken, clean.

“I only shot up there a couple of times,” he admitted, unable to meet her gaze.

“Adonis, that’s not something you should be playing around with.”

“You think I don’t know that,” he snorted, an edge of discomfort underlying his words. “I would only use when shit got too heavy. I knew it was stupid to get hooked on that shit, so I told myself every once in a while. This chick I got involved with tried to help. She knew something was off with me. So I stopped with the drugs for a while.”

“She was that special to you?” Tess asked delicately, trying hard to ignore jealousy’s knife sinking between her shoulder blades.

His mouth crooked. “I thought she was.” The smile faded as his eyes glassed over with memories. “I stopped everything for her, cigs, pot, cut down on drinking. But you know I’m a moody fuck,” he said roughly. “It took a month or two before she realized I was too much for her. We fought every day, but she wasn’t like you. She’d break down and cry and make me feel even more like shit. She suggested that I see a shrink. I told her to get lost.” His fingers drummed a restless cadence against her skin. “And she did. Didn’t even think twice.”

“It was probably for the best,” Tess hedged softly. “Not everybody’s built to handle stuff like that.”

“Yeah. I would’ve dragged her under with me.” His voice faded. “Once she left, I picked up right where I left off. Eventually I drifted back to heroin.” Adonis swallowed reflexively. “It made me not care about anything anymore. It was the ultimate release. Nothing mattered. Not her. Not my classes. Not anything. That place became my reality.”

Sensing his growing agitation over the next part of the story, she combed her fingers through his hair. Some of the tension eased from his troubled expression.

“I got to a point where I didn’t even recognize myself. I couldn’t stop. I forgot how to. I was wandering around downtown one day, high as fuck, when I saw her. It’d been weeks, months, I don’t know since I last saw her. She had a new guy, another charity case I guess,” he said bitterly. “Something about seeing her again made me snap. I got in the guy’s face and talked shit to him, talked shit about her. I don’t know who landed the first punch but I knew who was going to get the last. I’ve never wanted hurt someone so badly in my life.”

“Was it because you loved her?”

“Far from it. I mean it may have started out as a cock fight, but it didn’t end that way.” He blew out a tremulous breath. “I kept going, even when he stopped. I could feel people trying to pull me off, but I kept hitting him. Somehow, in my fucked up head, he’d become everything I hated about my life, about myself and I just wanted to beat it to death.”

Her stomach roiled. “You didn’t, did you?”

“No. The police showed up. Arrested me and sent my ass to lock up.” Adonis averted his gaze. “Found out later that the guy suffered from a broken nose, dislocated jaw, a concussion, a few cracked ribs…it was a miracle I didn’t kill him.” He rubbed his mouth. “They tried to charge me with assault and battery.”

No wonder. “But your dad got the charges dropped.”

“The one good thing he ever did for me,” he said sourly. “That and send me to rehab. All he had to do was grease a few palms and everything went away happy.”

“Do know what happened to the girl?”

“Alive and well. She’s living with him still.” He finally turned to her. “So, do you think you can live with an almost convict?” He meant it as a joke but Tess picked up on the cautious note in his tone.

She smoothed his wrinkled brow. “As long as he stays clean and plays nice with other children, we won’t have a problem.”

“Do I now?” His thumb brushed her nipple, his eyes becoming a velvety, lustrous gold. “Don’t you know, Tess? I always get what I want.”

Grinning, she edged away from him. “Not with me, you won’t. You have to work for it.”

His mouth curled with intrigue. “That so?”

Her heart pounded as he rose. The sheet billowed from his tapered hips and puddled next to them. “Yes, you do,” she whispered as he settled over her.

His hand skimmed her inner thigh. “I should get started then.”

_______________

Tess spent the next few weeks adrift in a haze of bliss.

When Adonis learned of her nonexistent swimming skills, he made it his mission to teach her. Lucky for them his palatial home possessed a heated, indoor swimming pool.

The lessons had been slow going at first.

The sight of him breaking the water’s surface had made it well nigh impossible to process his instructions. The sinful cling of his board shorts dragged lower as he lifted himself out of the pool. Eyes gilded a lustrous gold liquefied her synapses.

So instead of mopping up her saliva and dialing back the estrogen, Tess had shoved him back into the pool for a replay.

She laughed when he emerged again, only this time looking like a disgruntled beaver with hair spiked and a scowl on his face. Annoyance didn’t take long to be supplanted by roguish mischief. Tess didn’t catch on to his malicious intentions until it was too late. Arms striking out, he nabbed her and vaulted them both into the water.

Upon her panic-filled, sputtering scramble to the surface, she discovered he’d never let go. He treaded with her to the wall, pinned her pelvis against warm, wet tile, and proceeded to make it up to her.

They didn’t crawl out of bed for another two days.

By then New Year’s Eve bored down upon them. Tired of wearing the same rewashed clothes, Tess suggested she go home to pick up more. Adonis wouldn’t hear of it and instead phoned reinforcements. When Lydia showed up with a bag full of essentials and some completely off the wall items, including edible lingerie, Tess feigned obliviousness at her smug, I-told-you-so expression.

When she promised to pay back every cent, his sister waved her off. “Consider it a belated Christmas gift,” Lydia said slyly.

“At least let me get you something,” Tess pushed, unwilling to forgive the debt.

“Trust me, you and my brother being together is the best gift I’ve gotten in a while.”

Probably not more than her condo.

She and Adonis spent New Year’s Eve lying on the deck of his boat, their naked limbs entwined under thick covers as the sky exploded in choreographed pyrotechnics.

That night he’d worshipped her body in a way that left her in tears. He paid homage with reverent fingers, purged old hurt with a repentant mouth, anointed her with champagne, and imbibed from her body with a passionate tongue. After he spread her apart and took as much as he gave, Adonis bestowed her with a tender kiss, his mouth flavored with her and promise and the smooth, dulcet tang of bubbly.

It was more than sex.

It was more than anything she’d experienced in her life.

He didn’t have to tell her how he felt. Tess could see it in his smile, his laugh, his gaze. This wasn’t to say he was completely reformed of jackassery. They still fought like cats and dogs over the littlest of things.

Tess considered those normal days, when Adonis was still Adonis. But there were days where his moods were unpredictable. Though the meds kept him in check for the most part, they weren’t a hundred percent effective. It served as a stark reminder of his situation.

He didn’t fly as high as before, but he still soared during his hypomanic cycles. Energy and ideas shimmied around him like a phantom mantle, his euphoria infectious. He would’ve dragged her halfway across the world if her lack of a passport hadn’t forestalled his plans.

Tess learned that calmness only came through sex. But with the way they were going at it, her body couldn’t keep up. It was then that he turned to his projects.

It was fascinating to watch him work.

Immersed in focus, he never acknowledged her presence. Tess didn’t mind. His focus was all consuming. It was during those moments that she thought of his mother, wondered if he watched her for hours on end perfecting her craft.

When he came down, it was like watching a balloon deflate of helium. Though his depression wasn’t debilitating, melancholy saddled him. Cranky and tired, he didn’t want to do anything. He either bitched or slept. Tess grew to appreciate the latter.

Thankfully those days were few and far in between.

It wasn’t until Riley texted, asking when she’d be returning to campus, that she realized how quickly winter break drew to an end. They’d ignored the outside world as long as possible. There was only one reason why they both were reluctant to return.

Cameron’s presence shadowed them, a third presence neither of them wanted to address. Adonis didn’t outright say it, but she knew he was crushed that his best friend chose not to attend his mother’s funeral. Not only that, but Cameron hadn’t bothered with a consolatory phone call or even a text.

Tess didn’t know if she was more disgusted or disappointed by his behavior. Her brain couldn’t accept this 180-degree divergence of his character. She wanted to believe Cameron had a suitable excuse.

Because if she didn’t find him lying in a hospital entombed in a body case, she would put him in one.

“What are you going to say to him?” she asked as they drove back to campus.

“Nothing,” Adonis retorted blandly. “He wants to act like a fickle bitch, I’ll treat him like one.”

Tess massaged her forehead. “I’m sure he has a good excuse.”

“Don’t fucking make excuses for him,” he snapped.

Swallowing pride, she clamped her mouth shut, knowing it was touchy subject.

“I’m sorry,” he said gruffly. “I just don’t want to think of him. It still pisses me off.”

With good reason. She picked up his free hand and cradled it in her lap. “Don’t sweat it. Whatever happens, we’ll deal. Together.”

He wrested his gaze from the road just long enough to pin her with a look ripe with meaning. As used to it as she was, butterflies still funneled into the walls of her stomach. He lifted her hand and pressed a kiss against the rise of her knuckle.

Less than half an hour later the Range Rover’s tires squealed outside of her dorm.

Tess rolled her eyes at the green-eyed catty glares of the other girls as he helped carry her things into the building. “You might want to call off your harem.”

He smirked. “Why? Scared of a little competition?”

She merely hitched an incredulous brow.

His chuckle was low and throaty. “Arrogant much?”

“My constant proximity to your ego must be rubbing off.”

“Mm, that isn’t the only thing,” he purred and bit the underside of her jaw.

Suppressing the shiver that quaked beneath her skin, she playfully jostled him aside. “Is sex all you think about?”

“Only when it comes to you.”

She resisted the temptation to drop her things and throw him against the nearest wall. After a three week marathon of sex, the intensity of her need for him hadn’t abated. It was a sickness, one she wasn’t willing to relinquish for anything.

Steadying her breathing, Tess steeled herself as she halted outside her room. There was no telling what Jade’s reaction would be when she waltzed in with Adonis. She knew there was much explaining to be done, none of which had been accomplished over break.

She would understand.

The door swung open to reveal an empty room. Most of Jade’s bulging suitcases slouched untouched at the foot of her bed, which she found strange since Jade couldn’t stand unpacked bags. She hadn’t even bothered to plug in her laptop.

Odd.

“Where is she?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” She grinned as he set her things beside the dresser. “Adonis the gentleman. Who knew?”

He pulled her into his arms. “I just wanted to see where I’d be defiling you in the near future.”

Her fingers slid into his hair, testing its feathery silkiness. “Any more defiling and my vagina is going to fall out.”

He nosed the arch of her neck. “We can’t have that, can we?”

The buzz of his phone waylaid her response. Adonis glanced at the screen and silenced it with a scowl.

“Your attorney?” He’d been dodging the poor man’s calls ever since the funeral. Tess knew it undoubtedly had something to do with his mother’s will.

“I’ll talk to him later.”

“You can’t put this off forever.”

His arms tightened fractionally around her. “I don’t want to hear it. Not now.”

Her belly dropped as his lips lazily trailed the arch of her neck. The contrast of his cool, minted breath and gentle nipping of his teeth produced frissons that jolted to her extremities. Tess fisted his shirt, trying to send him a desperate message to bestow her mouth with the same kind of attention. Her heart raced as he neared her chin. Her lips throbbed with anticipation. Frustration caught in her throat when he bypassed them for her earlobe.

“You’re such a tease,” she said breathily.

“And you aren’t?” He moved without warning and branded her mouth with a rough, bruising kiss. “Everything about you is provocative.” He guided her hand to the erection straining his pants. Need wired through her midsection. “Just thinking about you does this to me.” His hand maneuvered under her shirt to trace the ridges of her spine. “Now who’s the tease?”

Tess couldn’t recall how many times they’d gone at it, but it was never enough. He’d turned her into a junkie. An addict.

Unable to stand the craving, she attacked his mouth. They fell into the adjacent wall. In one smooth motion, he hitched her up. Her legs locked around his waist.

A cry tore from her lungs as the rough pad of this thumb brushed over her hardened nipple. She felt as if her body was slowly inching toward heaven with every demanding tug of his teeth and stroke of his tongue and swivel of his dexterous hips, grinding so deep into her Tess didn’t know where she stopped and he began.

A throat cleared.

They froze mid-movement.

“Don’t mind me,” Jade said dryly.

Adonis eased her back onto her feet. “I’ll catch you later,” he said, voice rumbling with equal parts resistance and annoyance. He planted a possessive kiss on her forehead.

Tess waited until the door closed after him before blurting, “I can explain.”

“I’m sure you can.” Jade placed her purse on her desk.

Tess frowned at her offhand attitude. “Look, I’m not cheating on Cameron, if that’s what you’re worried about. We broke up.” Sort of.

“Did you now?” she returned, sarcasm dripping.

“What the hell your problem?”

“What do you want me to say, Tess?” Jade said angrily. “I don’t know what know to think. And do you know why? Because my supposed best friend always springs shit on me. She doesn’t tell me anything anymore. And now that I think about it, she’s never told me anything: not about her past or her family or anything of importance. I feel like I don’t even know her, which is pretty sad since I consider a best friend.”

The color drained from her face. “J, I-”

Jade silenced her with a hand. “She bails on me over break when she was supposed to come down for a visit. She’s so wrapped up in her own little world that she never responded to my calls. My grandfather passed a few weeks ago and my best friend didn’t bother to give a damn.”

Shock capsized her. “Jade, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn’t. But I see what was keeping you busy. Best of luck to you with that one.”

“Jade-”

“Don’t worry about it. You know my mother always told me girls don’t really have friends. They have other girls they hang out with until they get boyfriends.” An embittered smile stole across her face. “Now do you see why I didn’t want to fall into a relationship too quickly with Lance? I didn’t want to buy into that. So much for girl power, huh.”

Tess squeezed her eyes shut. “Jade.”

“It’s fine, really. I hope Adonis is worth everything.” She slid the strap to her purse over her shoulder. “I spoke to housing. They’re letting me move into a single. I don’t mean this in a bad way, but I just need my space this semester.”

Powerless, Tess stood by mutely as Jade gathered her things. She knew there would be no talking her out of it.

Her first instinct was to call Cameron. But his counsel wasn’t at her disposal anymore. There was always Adonis, but he barely knew Jade. He didn’t understand the significance of her friendship. How much she valued it.

The world was falling out from under her feet. Doubt roiled through her.

Was Jade right? Was Adonis worth the dissolution of every other relationship she had?

____________________

Adonis would need to find a new place soon.

He didn’t want to think about how awkward it’d be hooking up with Tess under the same roof as Cameron, not that he cared. But he knew she would feel uncomfortable.

The bullshit didn’t matter. She was worth it.

Every time he closed his eyes, he envisioned her. Laughing, cursing, melting under his touch, her kisses hitting him like brass-knuckled blow every time.

She monopolized his thoughts. She was more potent than heroin. More than coke. She was in his blood, running hot in his veins.

He relived the memories. The mornings where his sheets draped her body in satin pools of cocoa, like a delicate morsel of candy varnished in chocolate. Her excitement when she finally differentiated port from starboard, aft from forward. How she looked commandeering the helm. The way her tri-colored mane undulated in the wind like his very own pennant.

Emotion snagged in his chest.

She was the only girl he allowed to know him inside and out. And he only one who he’d placed his absolute trust in.

How could he explain that to Cameron? How could he explain what she meant without rubbing it in his face?

Lucky for him, the Audi was nowhere in sight as he parked outside the house. Adonis grimaced as the loud concoction of Irish folk and hard rock blaring from the second story window.

Great.

Mood already in a downward spiral, he headed inside. Adonis had planned on ignoring the second level when a thought occurred to him.

He knew Riley was one of her best friends. And to make this transition as seamless as possible, he supposed he needed to make amends.

Sighing, Adonis redirected his steps towards the Irishman’s door.

If Riley sensed his presence, he said nothing and continued stacking folded clothes into the drawer. Patience dwindling, it took every ounce of perseverance he owned to say fuck it and walk away.

It paid off several minutes later. Riley lowered the volume. “Something I can help you with?” he asked, his tone lagging in its boredom.

Fucker wasn’t going to make this easy. “Look, I know I haven’t been the easiest to get along with.” He gritted his teeth. “And I wanted to apologize.”

Riley turned around, suspicion keened in his gaze. “Where’s all this coming from?”

“A guy can’t apologize without having an agenda?”

“No,” Riley said flatly.

“Fine. I’m doing this as a favor to Tess. She wants all of us to get along.”

He snorted. “Since when do you care about Tess?”

Adonis braced for shock. “Since we got together over break.”

A noticeable chill thinned the air.

“Does Cameron know about this?” Riley inquired slowly, as if afraid to hear the answer.

“He knows enough.”

Somehow Riley didn’t seem too surprised.

“Look, I’m not saying what we did was right. But it is what it is. I care about Tess. I don’t want to see her hurt, especially by people she considers friends.”

Cool blue-green eyes measured the weight of his words. After a second, he nodded. “Fair enough, as long as she’s happy.”

Adonis supposed that was as close to an acceptance as he was going to get. “Have you seen him yet?”

“He had some stuff to take care of.”

“Like sharpening the guillotine.” He hadn’t meant to say the words aloud, but it drew a guffaw from the other man.

“Serves you right for stealing his woman out from under his nose.” Riley squatted and rooted under his bed. He came back up with a bottle of Jameson. “I suggest we get well and truly pissed while you still have your head.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

Chapter 21

After attending her first round of morning classes, Tess felt confident about the upcoming semester.

Her schedule was perfect.

She hadn’t needed days ahead of time to build her dream sheet. There had been no last minute tinkering. No second guessing.

Even before she’d opened up the course master list, she already knew what she wanted. Some throwaway poetry class, astronomy, statistics, and her new favorite, intro to psych.

She’d wanted a new direction and she’d found it.

Psychologist fit.

It rolled off the tongue and didn’t leave her mouth with acrid aftertaste of trepidation like her other would-be majors.

It made her excited for the future, excited to help those the world didn’t fully understand. It didn’t hurt that it made her feel closer to Adonis and understanding what made him tick, not that he would appreciate the sentiment.

Tess stepped out of the psych building, the brilliant splash of sunlight temporarily blinding her. She slid on her shades and set off for her dorm.

An unseasonable warm spell masked the lingering winter chill under the guise of spring. All around campus people had begun dusting off khakis and boy shorts, more than happy to bask in the illusion.

Her steps faltered when she caught sight of him.

Her high spirits calcified and sunk beneath her navel.

He stood near the center of the quad, ensconced by polo-wearing frat boys and a flock of miniskirts. One of which, a blonde-haired sorority type, was glued to his side like spackle on drywall.

Tess didn’t have the right to feel jealous. That ship had long sailed.

Still, it chipped at her.

Self-preservation advocated an alternate route.

She ignored it. Tess knew he wouldn’t risk a nasty confrontation out in the open, not with propriety wedged firmly between Cameron and Reynolds.

She needed to make things right with him. If not for the sole purpose that she owed him an explanation, an apology. In spite of their falling out, she still considered him her best friend.

Steely determination infusing her backbone, she marched toward the group.

His gaze gravitated to her even before she violated his inner circle.

The smile on his face didn’t drop automatically. It ebbed by degrees until an equable expression took its place.

His eyes, however, gave him away. Icy with unwelcome, they robbed her of the sun’s cheery warmth. Aware of the others staring, she kept her attention on him, regardless of how unwanted it might be. “Cam, can we talk?”

He didn’t move. Didn’t speak. And for one humiliating moment she feared he’d return to his conversation and pretend she hadn’t spoken at all. “Excuse me.”

He didn’t touch her as he directed her away from his new clique, one in which she clearly was not invited. They weren’t completely out of earshot but the hustle and bustle teeming around them would swallow most of their conversation.

Tess shifted her weight. Now that she had him alone, she didn’t know how to begin.

“What is it?” Smooth and evenly modulated, his voice divulged nothing.

“I just wanted to apologize for the way things went down between us,” she started off awkwardly.

His stare drilled into her. “Ok.”

Ok? What the hell was ok supposed to mean? “Ok, you’re a cheating, whoring slut and stay away from me or ok, give me some time to think of more names to call you before I accept your apology,” she joked lamely.

His gaze flicked over her head, as if debating how much longer he had to tolerate her presence. “Whatever makes you feel better about yourself.”

Exasperation trumped the sting of his bite. “Either way, you could’ve at least shown up at his mother’s funeral.”

“What I did or didn’t do doesn’t concern you,” he shut her down evenly. “And you can tell Adonis he can stay at the house. I’m staying with a buddy before moving into the frat house.”

“You’re becoming a brother? Why? I thought they were full of nothing but Kappa clap infected assholes and potential rapists?”

His gaze cooled. “I’ve been wrong about a lot of things recently.”

She winced, deserving of that. “You started this ball rolling, Cam. Telling him to stay away from me. Being insecure and not trusting me-”

“Trust you?” he hissed and forced his voice lower as bystanders glanced their way. “Trust you not to jump into bed with Adonis? Trust you not to piss everything we had away for some junkie?”

Her eyes flashed with warning. “Don’t call him that.”

Cameron ignored her. “You should’ve told me that you wanted to be with to him instead of leading me along. Do you know how that felt Tess? Finding you and him together like that? Having your mother witness the whole charade.”

Ok, so maybe she did serve him a raw deal.

She grabbed his elbow before he could walk off. “Please, Cam. I’m sorry. I never meant for any of this happen. I love you, I truly do.” Warmth swam behind her eyes. “I still want you as a friend. We both do.”

He stared at her, seemingly caught between emotions. Something relented in his face. “I’ll accept your apology.” He sighed. “But I can’t forgive you. Not right now. I need time.”

It was more than she could ask for. “Thank you,” she said, sagging with relief.

He hesitated before tacking on, “I wouldn’t get any deeper involved with him if I were you.”

Her guard slammed up. “Why’s that?”

“There will only be one true love for Adonis in this life. And when he’s done with you, he’ll go back to her, like he always does.”

There was no need to infer who she was. “He’s been clean for months.” Not that you would know anything about it, she wanted to say. “Some things are more important.”

“And you think you are?” His mouth twitched, betraying amusement. “His last girlfriend thought the same. But then he got hooked on heroin and she got herself a new boyfriend that Adonis beat half to death.”

A tendril of fear tapped into her bloodstream. “He won’t go back to that. He’s trying to turn his life around.”

Cameron shrugged and began walking away. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

______________

She was unhappy and he was at a loss.

When Adonis asked her about it, she tried to play it off, the abandonment of her best girl friend and Cameron’s radio silence.

Used to gaining and losing acquaintances, he tried telling her it wasn’t worth her sanity. If their bonds weren’t strong enough to withstand a little turbulence then fuck ‘em.

Adonis was fast learning that he and Tess held divergent opinions regarding the importance of friendships. Come hell or high water, she was willing to stick it out for the people that’d grown close to her heart.

It was why she couldn’t understand why he and Cameron hadn’t spoken in months. If the bastard wanted to be a prick, he could do it on his own time. Adonis couldn’t be bothered.

Even though he’d told her they weren’t worth her sanity, she continued to stress. As the days passed without word from either party, the more she withdrew. Her smiles became distant. Her laughs echoed in flat monotones.

Adonis was clueless on how to help her. Confining her to his bed was a temporary, albeit enjoyable fix.

He needed a more concrete solution. Short of kidnapping and holding them at gunpoint until they agreed to make amends, he was out of ideas.

He hated feeling useless. It plucked his nerves in dissonant chords. It made him wish he had something to take off the edge.

The urge slithered deep beneath his skin, skulking through cartilage and marrow, biding its time. Like a tapeworm, it gorged on his paranoia, his fears, his insecurities.

Adonis had made a pledge to Tess that he was done with drugs.

And he meant it. He cut ties with his former crew, deleted the numbers to his dealers, not that he didn’t know where they lived.

But he was done with that shit.

No more pills, no more acid, no nothing.

He wondered if that included weed. He didn’t know how she felt about the deviation and it was too early in their relationship to test the waters by shitting over his promises.

Fuck what he would give for one hit. Hell, half a hit.

Adonis glanced at his phone. A quarter after midnight. Tess was supposed to text him an hour ago with a time she needed to be picked up.

He figured she stayed past to pull overtime. It pissed him off that she worked herself half to death. He made the mistake of offering to pay her tuition once and only once. It wasn’t like he was hurting for money. And ever since he quit the hard shit, his allowance didn’t seem quite so meager.

Tess had given him a scathing look that’d almost left him with third degree burns. “Why? So you can prove I’m the gold-digging whore you said I was?” The comeback was a conditioned response, programmed and ingrained because of years of his abuse.

Nevertheless, it stung.

When she saw his expression, she’d apologized profusely, swearing up and down she didn’t know where that had come from.

They left the lie alone.

Were they fooling themselves? How could a relationship founded on vitriol and hate hope to have any stability?

What if she regretted getting together? What if she went back to Cameron?

Smothering a spate of bile, he redialed her cell and scowled when the call dropped off into voicemail.

Fuck it. He might as well drive down and wait for her shift to end.

Just as he’d tucked his phone into his back pocket, the door creaked open.

A nameless weight uplifted from his shoulders when she came in. His mind had a bad habit of jumping to paranoid conclusions. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she reiterated, drained.

He frowned as she dropped her things on the floor and slumped into the leather couch without so much as a hug. “Why didn’t you call me for a ride?”

“Sorry,” she said without an ounce of remorse. “I had to close. My supervisor had an emergency. I thought you’d be asleep.”

The visible exhaustion saddling her shoulders derailed his irritation. Her straggly ponytail lay lifelessly down her back. She smelled of grease fires and onion rings. Features wan, she looked about ready to pass out. Something told him it only dealt partly with her time on the job. Adonis joined her on the couch and drew her into him. “Tell me what’s wrong,” he murmured.

Resistant at first, eventually she caved and slouched into him like a rag doll. “Just tired.”

The words ‘quit’ burned on the tip of tongue. For a second, he considered buying the entire franchise just so he could fire her or at least adjust her wages to an amount that satisfied him. Fuck ethics. His moral compass hadn’t been calibrated in years. “What can I do to make it better?”

She attempted a smile. “Nothing. I’ll be ok.” Her burbling stomach broke the silence.

Adonis scowled. “When did you last eat?”

“I don’t even remember.”

The muscle in his jaw twitched, wanting to argue but knowing it wouldn’t change anything. “What do you want?”

Tess yawned. “I’ll be fine.”

“You know, I’m getting really tired of hearing that.” She protested as he heaved her to her feet. “Get changed. We’re getting food.”

“What? No,” she whined, wanting to sag back into the couch. “I just want to go to sleep.”

“You can sleep after you’ve eaten something.” He started unbuttoning her shirt. “So get changed or I’ll do it for you.”

Glaring at him, Tess slapped his hands away. “I’ll get something from the fridge.”

“There’s nothing in the fridge.”

Grumbling, Tess shucked off her work clothes and withdrew some bum clothes from the overnight bag she kept in his closet. “I hate you,” she said once fully dressed.

“I hate you too. Let’s go.”

____________

A few minutes after midnight, there weren’t a whole lot of places open. Unfortunately most of the pubs and eateries around campus stayed open later on weekdays for those pulling all-nighters. Tess tried not to be annoyed with him for strong-arming her into going out for food. She would’ve been fine with a burger from a fast food joint.

Adonis wouldn’t have it, asserting her diet was shit.

So what if she lived off cups of noodles and old pizza.

Who anointed and crowned him the health guru?

Still, Tess kept her trap shut. He was trying to be sweet and supportive. He didn’t understand the unstated separation of work and play. After work, she—along with everyone else who worked in the food service industry—wouldn’t be caught dead in another restaurant in her off time. Tess was around food all day. She didn’t want to clock out and be around more food.

All she wanted to do was crawl in bed next to him and sleep. In sleep, she could find rest from the tumult of her thoughts; an escape from the void that plagued her waking hours.

After parking, they headed into one of the lower key cafés on campus.

“What do you want?” he asked.

Stifling a sigh, Tess scanned the menu that never changed and picked the Mediterranean turkey sandwich with a bowl of potato soup. “Get a table. I’ll place the order,” he said decisively.

He was gone before she could locate her wallet. She hated when he did that. Tess looked around and grabbed a booth next to the fireplace, mostly because she was still half-frozen from the walk up the hill.

Adonis joined her minutes later.

She passed him a crumpled ten.

He stared at the bill, his features metamorphosed with rage. “If you don’t get that shit out of my face.”

“I don’t need your handouts.”

“It’s not a fucking handout. It’s me treating you to dinner. Can I do that, Tess? Or is it a crime to be considerate?”

Her head began to throb. She dug her fingers into her temples to work the tension from her skull. “Ok. I’m sorry. I’m just exhausted and grumpy.”

“No shit,” he said, but his face softened. “I know it’s a lot to ask of your pride, but let me take care of you once in a while.”

He knew her too well. Emotion welled in her chest. “Thank you, Adonis. Really.”

“That’s what boyfriends are for, I guess,” he shrugged nonchalantly.

Beneath all of his arrogant posturing was a heart of gold.

Well, perhaps not the entire heart. More like kidney’s worth. But that was more than she could say for a lot of people.

Tess smiled. “Is that what you are? My boyfriend?”

Adonis glared at her, clearly not wishing to go into detail on the matter.

Her phone vibrated. Her pulse leapt as she unlocked her phone and deflated at the text from her brother.

“She hasn’t returned your messages yet?” he asked, voice low.

Not trusting herself to speak, Tess shook her head once.

“Then stop crying and do something about it,” Adonis said brusquely. “If you want your friend back, work for it. Pick up the fucking pieces and put them back together.”

He was right. She’d fallen into passivity and so far it hadn’t worked for her.

God, what was she becoming?

What happened to taking the life by the horns?

Before she could respond, someone called out his name.

Tess looked up as an attractive, pouty-lipped girl strode up to their table, her long-lashed eyes only for Adonis. “Hey.”

“Sandra,” he drawled her name, leaning back. “What’s up?”

“Did you catch the assignment for Professor Billings gave us? I had to leave early.”

Tess watched his interaction with the girl. Although Tess couldn’t call foul just yet, she posed her questions with a kittenish smile, her stance coquettish yet open to invitation. Adonis didn’t encourage her worshipping, but neither did he appear turned off by the subtle eye-fucking she gave him.

Neither did he introduce her as his girlfriend.

She wanted to think what they shared transcended pettiness. It had to.

During their sabbatical from the real world, she’d never given thought to the consequences of dating him; of the hoards that would try their hardest to lead him astray.

She’d always been aware of his magnetism; of the way girls became spellbound in his presence, trapped in the netting of his beauty, his innate sensuality. He could turn the most levelheaded, rational woman into a blithering, weak-kneed fangirl.

In the past, she hadn’t cared. About him or his whores.

And now she was one of many.

The feeling nauseated her.

In all of the time she’d known him, Adonis had never been with someone longer than a month. His taste in women was as extravagant as his money-spending habits. All of them had been beautiful, rich debutantes. How could she hope to compete? If she hadn’t chanced upon his secret would they still have connected?

What would happen if that spark that made their chemistry so incendiary died? How long would it take for boredom to strike? And then what? Would they gradually resume their previous relationship? Or would she fade to nothing? Just another notch on his ever-expanding bedpost.

Jealousy burned in her gut as the girl’s dark waterfall of hair swished vibrantly with laughter.

How long until her usefulness outlived itself? Until he found someone else to confide in and share his burden?

Insecurity lingered long after the girl finally departed.

Tess lay in bed, Adonis’s sleep-heavy breathing warming her neck. Her head pounded with exhaustion and yet she found herself unable to submit. Sighing, Tess slowly lifted out of the bed and padded down the stairs to the kitchen.

A dark figure rummaged through the pantry.

Tess cut on the light.

His head jerked up, the top of his head slamming into the shelf. Riley pulled out with a string of Gaelic expletives and glared blearily at her. “Thank you for that,” he said, his brogue thick with drink.

“You’re very welcome.” Tess glanced at the time. It was almost two in the morning. “Bars closed?”

“Y’know it. But, its ok.” He resumed ferreting about until he emerged with a bottle of whiskey. “I got reserves. Join me?”

Why the hell not. It wasn’t like she was going to sleep any time soon. Tess gathered a few cups and plunked herself at the table. “Why are you hiding whiskey in the pantry?”

“It’s me super secret stash.” He winked and poured her a quarter of a cup. “What’s the craic?”

It took a beat for the expression to compute. “Nothing. Can’t sleep. How was your night?”

Tess sipped from the cup, warmth filling the cold crevices of her soul as he regaled her with his exploits.

He must’ve noticed her distraction because he stopped mid-story and stared at her, his gaze uncannily perceptive. “What’s wrong?” His blue-green eyes flashed. “What’d that twat do?”

“He didn’t do anything.” Tess knocked back the rest of it and held out her cup for more. He obliged willingly. “Do you think I’ve changed?”

“In what way?”

“In general.”

Riley scowled. “No. Why do y’say that?”

“Sometimes I feel like I’m becoming a different person. Like, he’s changing me. And I don’t know if it’s for the better.”

“If it helps any, ye do seem happier.”

Tess nodded vaguely, though it wasn’t the answer she’d been looking for. “I just…I have a lot of things on my mind. For one, I don’t know where we’re going.”

“Beginnin’ to have doubts, eh?”

“Yes. No. I suppose.” She rubbed her eyes. “I care for him. And I know he feels the same. For now. But how long is that going to last?

“How long d’ye want it to?”

Tess pushed her hair off her face, feeling uncomfortably warmth of the whiskey coating her stomach. “I don’t know.”

“Stop thinkin’ so hard, lass. Go with the flow and see where it takes ye. No point in worryin’ y’head off.”

“Maybe.”

“Trust him. Despite me earlier assumptions, he’s no’ a bad guy. A bit of a gobshite, but he’s mad about ye, Tess. Ye walk into a room and he may as well be blind, deaf, and dumb to the rest of the world. I haven’t seen him so much as look at another girl since ye got together. Don’ let insecurities sabotage somethin’ good.”

The word triggered a memory. Her mother had said the same thing. Was she self-sabotaging?

“Look, don’ get bogged down by what-ifs and what-happens-when. For now, have faith and treasure the feelin’. Que sera, sera,” he dipped a hand dramatically.

The tightness in her chest let up. He was right. She needed to sit back and enjoy the ride instead of fretting about its end. Adonis had never given her reason to believe that he would cheat on her. Yes, a Yankee Candle had more longevity than his previous relationships, but that was the past. Tess doubted he made sure his old girlfriends ate a nutritious meal or always ensured they got home safely after work.

“You should consider becoming a motivational speaker,” she grinned.

He lifted his his cup in cheers and frowned when he discovered it empty. “Oy, enough with the mushy talk. Let’s have a game.”

Tess propped a brow. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink tonight?”

“No such thing.”

Ten shots and several games of McNickels later, Tess crawled up the steps to Adonis’s room. She haphazardly stripped down and wormed her way beneath the covers next to him.

“Tess,” he murmured heavily, his arms automatically falling around her midsection and tugging her into his furnace-hot chest. “You smell like whiskey,” he mumbled.

“I was thirsty.”

He brushed a kiss across her shoulder. “You should’ve invited me.”

“Mm-k. Next time.” Her sleep-leaden eyes shut as her consciousness dropped off the grid. “I love you,” she murmured drowsily, missing the contraction that jerked through the muscles at her back.

Дата добавления: 2015-10-16