Avoiding redundancy

A common flaw in formal writing is to make some point, then immedi­ately restate the same information a different way. Sometimes writ­ers do this out of forgetfulness, but more often they do it intention­ally, under the mistaken belief that repetition will make their points come through more clearly or emphatically. (Some have even specifi­cally been taught to do this in high school writing classes.) The effect is actually the opposite: since it is reasonable for readers to expect that every sentence will have something new to say, they may find it disconcerting or confusing to reencounter the same information, and end up referring back to earlier sentences to see if there is any subtle distinction they missed. (Of course, another reason why some writers employ redundancy is to pad out skimpy content, hoping no one will notice that not much is actually being said.)

The following passages present some illustrations of needless repetition:

EXAMPLE 1

In our survey of pediatricians, nearly all our respondents indicated that their clinical activities should include both diagnosis and subsequent follow-up of child abuse cases. Over 97 percent of those returning the survey said that they believed that they should be detecting and treating this problem.

The second sentence adds little here. The terms detecting and treating are really just restatements of diagnosing and following up (or if there is a distinction, it's a pretty fine one), and respondents are obviously the same people as those returning the survey. The only actual addition is a specification of what was meant by nearly all, and this information is easily incorporated into the first sentence.

BETTER: In our survey of pediatricians, nearly all our respondents (over 97 percent) indicated that their clinical activities should include both diagnosis and subsequent follow-up of child abuse cases.

EXAMPLE 2

The validity of a test that measures coping traits is restricted to the population for which the test was designed. A measure that is valid when administered to one type of population may not be valid for another, and there are no standardized tests in this field that are appropriate in all situations. It is not possible to develop or refine a test for measuring coping traits that can meet all requirements and perform well in all circumstances. Therefore, researchers must be careful to select a test that is appropriate for their specific situation.

The second-to-last sentence here merely restates what is already clear, so the passage does not lose any information if this sentence is deleted.

BETTER: The validity of a test that measures coping traits is restricted to the population for which the test was designed. A measure that is valid when administered to one type of population may not be valid for another, and there are no standardized tests in this field that are appropriate in all situations. Therefore, researchers must be careful to select a test that is appropriate for their specific situation.

Note: The advice on avoiding redundancies should not be taken to mean that you should never restate anything. In many forms of writing, summaries or recaps at the end of a chapter are suitable. In long works, or in books that are not expected to be read cover to cover, it may be appropriate to repeat important information wherever it is relevant. Just be certain that you have a sound ratio­nale for putting down anything that has been explained elsewhere.

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