– how long have we been married?”
“Two years.”
“Two years. Wow,” Kurt breathed.
“We’ve been more or less together for seven.” Sebastian said with a grin.
“Yeah, you mentioned that.” Kurt said. “But right now I don’t remember any of it so technically, I’ve only
known you for a couple of not very happy months.”
“But you’re -”
“I’m going to try and work on not hating you,” Kurt said with a nod. “But I need you to not do this.”
“Do what?”
Kurt gestured between them. “This,” he said and Sebastian wasn’t any closer to understanding what he
meant than he had been before. He frowned at Kurt until he sighed and said, “Look. Let’s start slow okay?
We’ll work at being friends first and then see where it goes. You can’t expect me to start acting like your
husband just because I’ve decided against a divorce.”
“No, no. Of course not.” Sebastian said, realization dawning. “Take as much time as you want. I’m sorry. I
won’t – touch you? That sounds like I’m molesting you.” He wrinkled his face and Kurt laughed a little, it
was a beautiful sound. Sebastian immediately wanted to hear it again. “We’ll work through this, Kurt,” he
said. “I promise.”
“Thank you,” Kurt said in a quiet voice. There was a tense moment of silence where Sebastian wished he
had the ability to read Kurt’s mind - this Kurt’s mind, because right now, Kurt’s face was so much more
guarded, so closed off than the Kurt Sebastian was used to. “Do you want anything from the bedroom?”
Kurt asked then, breaking the silence. “Because I’m going to call it a night.”
It took a moment for Sebastian to realize that he was expected to sleep on the couch since Burt was in the
guest room. “I’ll just grab a pillow and blanket,” he said, following Kurt as he led the way to their bedroom.
“Maybe get a change of clothes,” he mumbled, pulling his shirt away from his body and wrinkling his nose.
Kurt stood by the windows as Sebastian got his stuff. “So I’m assuming you took a look around?” Sebastian
asked.
“Yeah, I uh -” Kurt turned away from the window to look at him. “I think I’m kind of in love with this place.”
“Good to know,” Sebastian said with a grin.
“How can we afford it?” Kurt asked, walking over to the bed and sitting down at the edge. “I know that I
have a decent job and you’re – sorry, what do you do again?”
“I’m a lawyer,” Sebastian said.
“Why am I not surprised?” Kurt asked, shaking his head and giving him another tight smile. “Even with that
though, a place like this has got to cost a fortune and I might not recognize all of them but I know labels
when I see them and most of this stuff -” he waved his hand around the room as a whole, “- is definitely
designer.”
“Well, the apartment itself was a wedding present.” Sebastian said, rubbing the back of his neck. “My dad
he – he’d made the investment a long time ago and we refused at first but you know, what the hell. We
were going to start a life together and my apartment – where we were living at the time – was nice but we
both agreed that this was something we would never regret taking. So we did. And we pitched in to design
it which set us back quite a bit as far as money was concerned even though we’ve both got pretty decent
incomes,” he grinned at Kurt when he saw this piece of news pleased him. “But you’ve always been careful
about savings and stuff which really balances out my tendency to go wild with spending money. It worked
out okay in the end.”
“Better than okay, I’d say,” Kurt said in a low voice, pinching the comforter between his forefinger and
thumb. Sebastian grinned; even though he knew Kurt was talking about the apartment, it made him
unreasonably happy to know that at least this part of their life was something Kurt liked. Kurt looked up at
him all of a sudden, “Do you have everything?”
Sebastian took that as a sign that he should to leave. Reluctantly, he made his way to the door. Kurt didn’t
ask him to stay, didn’t even ask if the couch was a comfortable place to sleep (which, thankfully, it was)
and Sebastian guessed he shouldn’t have been surprised. Just because they were married and Kurt had
agreed to try and make their relationship work didn’t mean that he cared about him enough to ask if he
would be comfortable where he slept.
“Just one more thing -” Kurt said, his voice stopping Sebastian in his tracks once again. “Which toothbrush
is mine?”
Sebastian smiled. “The purple one.”
“Well, there goes my theory.” Kurt sighed.
“What theory?”
“Nothing.” Kurt said. He walked over to the door, forcing Sebastian to stumble backwards until he was
standing just outside. “Goodnight Sebastian.”
Sebastian blinked when the door closed in his face. He stared at the wood for a moment before his face
broke out into a grin. At least he hadn’t slammed it shut and at least he got a goodnight this time.
Progress.
Kurt woke up feeling confused with the urge to call out to somebody just like he had at the hospital. He sat
up slowly, blinking the sleep from his eyes and as soon as his vision cleared enough to take in his
surroundings, he relaxed. It should have been weird, his new bedroom should have confused him further
but Kurt felt the familiar calm settle over him like it had last night when he had gone around touching
random possessions in the room.
He sank back into his pillows and took a deep breath. The room was still dark but the sun was rising slowly
outside the huge windows. Kurt hadn’t closed the blinds before he went to sleep and he was glad of it now
when he turned on his side to stare at the early morning light glinting off the buildings. He closed his eyes
again, pressing his cheek into his pillow.
Kurt had always considered the bed in his old room to be one of the most comfortable places on earth.
Blaine’s bed had been his second favorite simply because it was Blaine’s (no, don’t think about Blaine’s
bed, don’t ruin the moment) but the fact was that this bed was just as, if not more comfortable. Kurt was
pretty sure he could stay cuddled up in his blankets all day. He drifted off for a while, not going back to
sleep but just hanging in the moment between wakefulness and sleep. Once or twice he jerked awake
because he’d felt as if someone were sliding an arm around his waist but when he turned to look over his
shoulder, Sebastian’s side of the bed (oh god, they have sides don’t they?) was empty.
It wasn’t that he felt creeped out by the phantom touch, in fact, he had a feeling that it might be some sort
of sense memory. Like this wasn’t the first morning he’d woken up to watch the sun rise outside the
windows. Like it was something he did on a regular basis except he had someone pull him against their
chest and press a kiss to the side of his neck as they did...
Kurt threw the comforter off of him and stood up. He didn’t want to think about that certain someone and
what they did in this bed. Not right now.
He chose an outfit for the day, swearing to come back and give his closet the attention it deserved before
making his way to the bathroom. The shower was just as glorious as Kurt had imagined. He spent a few
minutes under the spray, just letting the water cascade over his body before he turned to the products
assembled in the compartments that were carved into the wall. There was only one brand of shampoo and
conditioner so Kurt figured that he and Sebastian must share. The shower gel, though – there were two
bottles, neither of them a brand Kurt recognized. He picked up the first one and gave it an experimental
sniff. It was something fresh and slightly fruity - grapefruit maybe? Kurt liked the smell at the any rate.
Just to make sure, he picked up the other bottle and gave it a sniff too and oh yeah, this was definitely his.
While the first gel had smelled nice enough, this one immediately made him want to surround himself in
the smell. It was comforting just like his bed had been comforting and Kurt inhaled again deeply, just to let
the pleasant smell invade his senses once more.
The bottle said it contained Grape Seed Oil, Mandarin Orange Peel Oil, Bergamot Oil and Rosemary Leaf
Extract. It could also be used as a shampoo. Even though he had perfectly good shampoo and conditioner
right beside him, Kurt went ahead and worked the scent into his hair. By the time he emerged from the
shower, he felt more relaxed than he had all morning.
Sebastian was surprisingly awake and making coffee in the kitchen when Kurt finished brushing his teeth
and walked out. He must have taken a long time in the shower because the sun was fully out now and had
bathed the apartment in bright light. Kurt took a moment to appreciate how beautiful the white color
scheme of the lounge looked in the light of day. He slid onto a stool behind the kitchen counter with a
quick, “Good morning.”
“Sleep well?” Sebastian asked as he passed a cup of coffee over to him.
Kurt nodded as he took a sip. “You?” When Sebastian didn’t reply, he looked at him over the rim of his mug
only to find him frowning. “What?”
“You showered,” Sebastian said.
Kurt rolled his eyes. “What gave it away? Was it my wet hair?”
Sebastian grinned. “So how’d you know which body wash was yours?” he asked conversationally.
Kurt felt a rush of satisfaction at the thought that he had been right. He shrugged, “I chose the scent I liked
the most.”
“You liked this one?” Sebastian asked, grinning widely.
“It made me feel calm, comfortable...happy - I don't know, does that makes sense?” Kurt asked, taking
another sip.
“I guess,” Sebastian said and okay, his grin was starting to get on Kurt’s nerves.
“What?” he asked irately.
“Nothing.” Sebastian pressed his lips together as if trying to stop himself from bursting out laughing.
“What -” he asked again, setting down his mug. “Is so funny?”
“It’s just -” Sebastian’s grin grew impossibly wide. “The body wash that made you feel so calm, comfortable
and happy is actually mine.”
Chapter 9
Kurt’s cheeks remained tinged with pink for the rest of the morning. He desperately wished he hadn’t
picked up the second bottle and stuck to the grapefruit one. Now every time he inhaled, the scent of
Sebastian’s body wash filled his senses and while it was just as pleasant as it had been the first time, it
made Kurt shift uncomfortably in his seat.
He was grateful that Sebastian didn’t comment any further because he wasn’t sure he could take the
embarrassment. All he asked was, “Do you want some pancakes?” to which Kurt replied with a shrug and
said “Sure.”
From his position on the stool, Kurt watched Sebastian move around the kitchen, throwing ingredients
together with practiced ease. “You cook?” he asked mostly because he wanted to take his mind off the
stupid body wash.
“Wow, what gave it away?” Sebastian said, grinning at him over his shoulder. “Is it the pancake batter in
my hands?”
Kurt rolled his eyes, “Just because you’re making pancakes this morning doesn’t mean you cook.”
“I do,” Sebastian said. “Just not very often. We don’t work well together in the kitchen.”
“Why?” Kurt asked, leaning forward and tilting his head to fix Sebastian with a curious stare.
“We both have serious control issues,” Sebastian said with a grin. “So if either of us decides that it’s our
turn to cook, the other one has to stay the fuck away. And since you like cooking more than I do, I’m
usually the one staying out of your way.” Kurt nodded. “But we both know I’m the better cook.”
“Somehow I don’t believe you.” Kurt said.
“You will after lunch.” Sebastian said with a confident wink.
Kurt rested his chin on his fist as Sebastian turned back to the stove and took another sip of coffee. It hit
him then, watching the muscles shift in Sebastian’s shoulders as he flipped pancakes, that he was going to
be living with this man. Somehow, finding out that they were married hadn’t made the realization sink in
sooner – Kurt had been too caught up in the absurdity of the situation to think about anything else.
Now though, everything suddenly felt so real. From the extra toothbrush in the bathroom to Sebastian’s
bed hair and night clothes – this man, who until a few days ago (in his head, anyway) had been nothing but
an irritating presence at Kurt’s favorite coffee shop was now living with him. He’d been the last person Kurt
saw before going to bed last night and the first person Kurt had seen this morning.
And he’s making me breakfast
“Something wrong?” Sebastian asked when he turned around and caught the look on Kurt’s face. He slid a
plate of warm buttermilk pancakes complete with blueberries on top over to him but Kurt made no move
to reach for it. “Kurt?”
“I – I don’t feel well,” Kurt said, pushing the plate away. He stood up, taking his coffee mug with him as he
did and ignored the confused expression on Sebastian’s face. “I’m going back to bed.”
Sebastian lips were still forming around words when Kurt left, not giving him another glance. He’d just
opened his bedroom door when Burt walked out of his own room, yawning. “Hey kiddo,” he said as he
made his way towards the bathroom.
Kurt gave him a smile before ducking into the bedroom and shutting the door behind him. He found his
wedding band exactly where he’d left it last night – on top of his planner inside his side table drawer. It felt
heavier in his hand when he picked it up this time, like the weight of all it represented was making itself
known to him. Kurt turned it over a couple of times before hesitantly sliding it down his ring finger.
It fit perfectly. Of course.
There was no denying that it was a beautiful ring. Under different circumstances, Kurt might have spent
hours admiring how flawless it looked against his skin. Maybe he had.
At the moment though, it only made him think of Sebastian in the kitchen with an identical ring and sent a
wave of panic through him. He took the ring off and put it back in the drawer. If he’d thought that trying it
on would make the situation any less weird for him, he had been absolutely wrong.
He dropped his head into his hand, pushing his fingers through his wet hair and taking a deep breath which
he immediately regretted when the now familiar scent of Sebastian’s body wash filled his nostrils. “What
the hell have I got myself into?” he muttered.
___
Clouds from seemingly nowhere converged in the sky close to midday. Kurt had moved out into the lounge
again and was sitting on the couch with his dad when it started to rain. He lost track of what his father was
talking about – he had been catching Kurt up on everyone back home – but even the news of Finn and his
family wasn’t enough to distract Kurt from the view.
It was a different kind of beautiful from the morning sunshine. The droplets fell thick and fast like millions
of diamonds falling from the sky, reflecting in the glass of the nearby buildings. Kurt tilted his head and
pressed his cheek to the back of the sofa as he stared outside.
“Kurt?” his dad’s voice asked. Kurt hummed, not turning his gaze away from the windows. “What the hell
are you looking at?”
“The rain.” Kurt said, “It’s beautiful.”
“You’d think you’ve never seen rain before in your life from the way you look right now.” Burt said with a
chuckle.
Sebastian laughed from the kitchen and Kurt’s gaze flickered towards him. He had asked Kurt if he was
going to explain his behavior at breakfast but Kurt had simply said no and both of them had left it at that.
Now, when their eyes met, Sebastian gave Kurt a warm smile like he knew exactly how and why Kurt found
the rain fascinating. Kurt didn’t smile, just blinked at him as Sebastian turned back to peeling potatoes.
He didn’t know how long he spent staring at the rain. Burt had gone back to reading the newspaper and
though Kurt wanted ask him so many things about Ohio, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth and his eyelids
were starting to droop. He drifted like he had that morning, still aware of Burt and Sebastian talking
around him but not caring enough to add anything of his own to the conversation.
The sofa dipped a while later with the weight of another body and Sebastian’s voice was so much closer
when he said, “I’ll wake him up in a bit. Yeah, go ahead.” Kurt guessed Burt must have got up and gone
somewhere because it was silent after that. He didn’t really care; the sound of the rain hitting the
windowpanes and the distant rumble of thunder was sound enough for him.
Someone, Sebastian probably, had draped a blanket over him at one point because when Kurt shifted, he
felt the blanket move with him. “You awake?” Sebastian’s voice asked softly. Kurt didn’t bother responding
because he was too comfortable to make the effort; he kept his eyes closed and continued to breathe
deeply.
The light brush of the knuckles against his cheek the next second almost made him jump. His heart picked
up pace and his breath hitched but Sebastian didn’t notice because he kept stroking Kurt’s face from his
temples, down along his cheekbones to his chin and then back up. Kurt felt the urge to jerk away from the
touch but it was soothing and eventually, he relaxed enough to let a small sigh escape his lips.
“Kurt,” Sebastian said from far away.
What? Kurt wanted to ask.
“Kurt.” And that was it. His name once again; soft, tender, loving. The sound washed over his whole body
and filled him with unexplainable warmth. Kurt smiled into his pillow – when had he gotten a pillow? – and
drifted once more.
Chapter 10
It’s raining the day they move into their apartment.
Kurt is tense, terrified that something precious is going to break in the process of bringing the boxes up. He
snaps more than once at Sebastian when he sets down a carton too heavily and the contents rattle.
Sebastian ignores him, stays out of his way for the most part until they have everything and all that’s left is
unpacking. Once he slips a few bills into the hands of their movers, he closes the door and walks over to
where Kurt is standing in the middle of a sea of boxes, staring out the huge windows at the slanting rain.
His arms slip around his waist easily and Kurt stiffens for a second before relaxing back against him. They’re
quiet for a long moment, the only sound coming from the rain pounding against the window sill. They
haven’t switched on any lights yet and it’s dark enough because of the clouds for it to seem like late evening
even though it’s barely past noon.
“Did you remember to tell Paula about the change in moving dates?” Kurt asks suddenly. “Because if you
didn’t then we’ll have to go a whole week without a bed and -”
“Yes I did,” Sebastian says, cutting him off.
“And Blaine’s bringing over the -”
“Kurt, shut up.”
“He said he’d call by six – what time is it right now? You can barely tell the difference between night and
day with all this rain -”
“Kurt, shh.” Sebastian says, kissing the side of Kurt’s neck. “Breathe, baby.”
Kurt lets out a long breath and leans back against Sebastian’s chest. His hand is resting over Sebastian’s on
his waist and he’s isn’t sure if he even realizes it, but Kurt starts to trace the wedding band on Sebastian’s
finger with long, slow strokes. It’s been a week since the ceremony and they’ve been wearing their rings for
longer than that but the way Kurt’s finger moves over the platinum band, barely brushing the skin at the
corners makes Sebastian hyper aware of the little patch of skin.
He breaks the silence all of a sudden, “Shit.”
“What?” Kurt asks, “Don’t tell me we forgot something.”
“Shit Kurt,” Sebastian says again. Kurt turns around in his arms, frowning. “We’re married.” Kurt laughs for
the first time all morning, the sound echoing around the walls of their apartment. Sebastian drops his
forehead to rest against Kurt’s and laughs with him. “What is so funny?” he asks even though he’s still
grinning.
Kurt reaches up to cup Sebastian’s face. “Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts. Not after we’ve
already agreed to take this place. Because if you are, then I’m sorry, we’ll have to resolve to stay in an
unhappy marriage, I’m not ready to give up the apartment.”
“At least the sex will be fantastic,” Sebastian says.
“Mm, I can guarantee that.”
“I’m not having seconds thoughts,” Sebastian says when Kurt turns around again and presses his back
against Sebastian’s chest. “I’m just worried I’m going to screw this up.”
“Seriously?” Kurt says. “Shouldn’t you have thought of that before we got married?”
“Do you know how long it took me to finally ask you to move in the first time?” Sebastian says. “I don’t do
this Kurt. I’ve never done this. And now we’ve got these -” he held up both their hands, the bands shining in
even the dull light. “And it’s not just an excuse to have more sex anymore.”
“So that’s what it was last time?” Kurt says, turning his head to give him a teasing smile. “You asked me to
move in so you could have more sex?”
“Obviously.”
“I had a feeling that’s what it was all about.”
Sebastian smiles and presses his nose to the curve behind Kurt’s ear, inhaling deeply. Kurt smells like rain
and sweat, tastes the same when
Sebastian replaces his nose with his lips and sucks lightly at the skin. There’s so much Sebastian wants to
say in that moment but he can’t find the words. So he nudges Kurt’s jaw with his nose until Kurt turns his
head and captures his lips in a soft, reassuring kiss.
“We can do this,” Kurt whispers against his lips, his hand coming back up to cup the side of Sebastian’s
face. “We can.”
“What if I screw up?”
Kurt smiles, “I might decide you’re worth it and give you a third chance.”
“Third?”
“You’ve already used up your second.”
“And it resulted in our marriage.” Sebastian says with a grin. “I make the most of what I get.”
Kurt twists his body so they’re in a weird, half embrace and kisses him again. Sebastian walks them both
backwards until Kurt’s back is pressed against the huge windows, his body framed by the city. He kisses him
deeper, sliding his tongue into Kurt’s mouth and stroking the roof of his mouth in a way that makes Kurt
curl closer to him.
When they have sex for the first time on a blanket on the floor of their new apartment, it’s completely
unlike the way it had been last time when Kurt had moved in. Last time, Sebastian had held Kurt up against
a wall and fucked him until he went boneless in his arms. This time, it’s Kurt who fucks in to him, slow and
deep, filling him up until Sebastian can’t breathe. Every touch feels like more of a promise than the last and
Sebastian is terrified.
More terrified than he had been when he told Kurt he loved him for the first time, or when he had finally
proposed. Making their wedding vows hadn’t been as terrifying as this. This is the point where the glamour
of their wedding that has surrounded them for months comes to an end. This is the first step in an endless
staircase that is going to be their life together. There is so much that could go wrong.
He shudders in Kurt’s arms when he comes, the sound of his harsh panting overpowered by the thundering
rain. Kurt presses his lips to the curve of his jaw, buries his face in his neck as he continues to thrust until he
comes with a low whimper. They lie together, their chests sweaty and legs tangled together. Kurt’s
softening cock is still inside Sebastian and the oversensitivity is almost painful but Sebastian holds Kurt
tighter when he tries to move away.
“No,” he whispers. “Stay just a bit longer.”
“I’m staying with you forever, remember?” Kurt says with a smile.
“I hope so,” Sebastian says. “I honestly don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Well with any luck,” Kurt says, kissing the corner of his mouth and pushing away the sweaty strands of his
hair from his forehead. “You want have to do without me.”
__
Sebastian shook him awake some time later, his hand gentle but firm. “Come on, sleeping beauty, that’s
enough.”
“Don’t call me that,” Kurt mumbled automatically, fighting the urge to push Sebastian away. He was still
hanging onto the last, lazy shreds of sleep and his body stretched before he had even opened his eyes.
Sebastian must have thought that he was turning over to go back to sleep because he groaned. “God, you
sleep a lot,” he said. “Wasn’t a whole week of unconsciousness enough for you?”
Kurt finally opened his eyes to glare at him but all he got in return was a wide grin. He sat up, kicking the
blanket away from his body. “What time is it?”
“Lunch time, buddy,” his father called from the table. “Come on. You don’t want to miss this.”
Sebastian stepped back when Kurt stood up and there was a brief moment when Kurt looked at him and
remembered the brush of knuckles against his face. “What?” Sebastian asked, a crease forming between
his brows.
“Nothing,” Kurt said with a shake of his head. “I guess I’m still waking up.”
Chapter 11
Kurt insisted on doing the dishes after lunch because he felt useless after a day of nothing but lazing
around and napping, though he didn’t tell that to Sebastian. When Sebastian tried to protest and get him
to just use the dish washer, Kurt snapped at him. “I’ve lost my memory, Sebastian. Not my motor skills. I
think I can handle a few plates and glasses.”
“Jesus, you can wash the fucking dishes. No need to get your claws out.” Sebastian said. “Less work for
me.”
Burt had to run down to the store for a few supplies, he asked them if they needed anything to which both
of them shook their heads. It wasn’t until the apartment door closed behind him that Kurt realized they
were alone and that Sebastian was staring at him. He ignored him for as long as he could, focusing instead
on the mechanical task at hand. It felt good to do something even if it was as simple as washing dishes.
Kurt was about to ask if he could take over cooking duties for the night when Sebastian broke the silence.
“So what did you think?”
“Of what?” Kurt asked, not looking at him.
“Lunch.”
“It was okay.”
“Do you believe me now when I say I’m the superior cook?”
Kurt chanced a look at Sebastian who was sitting on the stool Kurt had occupied that morning. “You made
grilled chicken and mashed potatoes,” he said. “Not exactly gourmet cuisine.”
“I was working with a hangover,” Sebastian said, sounding offended. “Cut a guy some slack.” Kurt shrugged
as he dragged the soaping sponge down a plate. He almost jumped when he felt Sebastian’s chest brush
against his back. When had he moved from his place? “Relax, tiger. I’m just making things easier.”
Sebastian said, reaching for a towel and grabbing a wet plate.
“I see your habit of calling me names that aren’t you know, my actual name hasn’t died over the years,”
Kurt said.
Sebastian grinned. “I only use them with specific reason.”
“What might those be?”
“Depends,” Sebastian said with a shrug, taking another plate from Kurt’s hand. “Either I’m trying to irritate
you like I am right now. Or I’m in a romantic mood or -” he stopped when he saw that Kurt had tensed. “I
mostly just call you Kurt.” he finished quickly.
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