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Chapter 1

Sebastian was woken up by the shrill sound of his cell phone blaring in the silence of the room. The

ringtone was harsh enough to wake the dead, a purposeful move on Sebastian’s part to ensure that no

matter how deep of a sleep he may have fallen into, he woke up when the phone rang.

He grabbed for it, his voice still hoarse from sleep when he said, “Hello?”

“Sebastian,” it was Burt. “Good news kiddo. Kurt’s awake.”

Sebastian swung his feet off the bed and stood up fast enough for his vision to swim. Ignoring the sudden

disorientation, he stumbled towards the bathroom, phone still pressed against his ear. “I’ll be there in

fifteen minutes.”

Sebastian flew through the hospital corridors, hastily acknowledging the nods he got from the nurses who

were by now well acquainted with his face. They were smiling at him with a knowing look and it only made

Sebastian’s heart speed up and his desire to see Kurt heighten.

When he got to Kurt’s room, he found Blaine waiting outside. He grinned when he saw Sebastian and

Sebastian could see that his eyes were rimmed red from crying. Sebastian knew that Kurt’s accident had

been hard for Blaine. Their breakup in junior year of college hadn’t impacted their friendship at all and the

two were still as close as they had been when Sebastian had first met them. Blaine was an important part

of both his and Kurt’s life, probably the only person apart from Kurt who Sebastian could confidently call a

friend. He had been there for Sebastian throughout the week Kurt had been unconscious. If it hadn’t been

for Blaine and Burt, Sebastian would have cracked under the stress not two hours after the accident.

“Hey,” Blaine said when Sebastian finally reached him. “I just got here. Burt’s inside, the doctor’s talking to

them. She told us to wait just a couple more minutes until she’s done checking up on Kurt.”

Sebastian nodded and leaned down to draw Blaine into a tight hug, inhaling deeply. Blaine smelled like

hospital corridors and stale coffee but Sebastian still turned his face into his neck, his heart feeling light.

“He’s okay,” he whispered shakily into Blaine’s ear, a lump forming in his throat. “Kurt’s okay.”

“I know,” Blaine replied with a small laugh, patting his back. “I told you he would be.”

Sebastian pulled back. “I can’t thank you enough for being here. I don’t know what I would have done

without you, killer.”

“Hey, none of that okay. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn’t here for you guys when you needed

me?”

Sebastian looked away from Blaine’s shining eyes to the window of Kurt’s room. He could see the outline

of Doctor Hendricks and Burt standing over Kurt’s bed through the blinds. Kurt was sitting propped up on

some pillows but his face was obscured by Burt’s form. It made Sebastian even more impatient and he

tapped his foot and crossed his arms, turning back to Blaine.

“Trust Kurt to wake up when I’m not here,” Sebastian said, shaking his head. “He couldn’t have chosen

from all those times I was sitting vigil by his bedside? Now I’m going to get endless crap about how I wasn’t

there when he woke up.”

“You’re looking forward to every teasing comment aren’t you?” Blaine asked with a smile.

“Obviously.”

Sebastian was just about to ignore the doctor’s request and barge in to Kurt’s room when the door opened

and Burt came out. The look on his face made Sebastian’s grin waver and his stomach clench. “What’s

wrong?”

“Kurt’s fine,” Burt said but his brow was still creased. “He’s just – he uh.”

“Burt, what is it?” Sebastian demanded.

Burt looked at him hesitantly. “He seems to have lost a great chunk of his memory.”

“How big a chunk?” Sebastian asked slowly.

Burt took a deep breath. “About ten years. Still thinks he’s 18.”

Sebastian felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. “You mean he – he doesn’t remember at all?”

Burt’s answer was interrupted by Doctor Hendricks walking out. She gave them all a brief smile before

saying, “He’s asking for Blaine.”

Sebastian felt tears welling up in his eyes, hot and stinging. Blaine met his gaze looking panicked and

slightly guilty but he walked past the doctor into the room where Kurt was waiting for him. Sebastian was

vaguely aware of Burt’s hand on his arm and the doctor explaining how memory loss was sometimes

common amongst head injury victims but all Sebastian could think of was Kurt inside the hospital room. A

Kurt who probably didn’t even care that Sebastian was standing outside desperate to see him, a Kurt who

still thought he was eighteen, at the peak of his love for Blaine and resentment for Sebastian.

“Mr. Smythe, I know this is hard but -”

“You’re fucking right it’s hard!” Sebastian snapped, his whole body shaking. “My husband just had ten

years of his memory wiped.”

“Mr. Smythe, please. This is a hospital. You need to -”

“Don’t tell me what I need to do -”

“Sebastian, take a deep breath, son.” Burt said, tightening his grip on Sebastian’s arm. Sebastian looked at

him and saw the sympathy and understanding in his eyes. He knew. Burt knew exactly what this situation

meant for Sebastian.

“Kurt seems stable for the time being, we’re going to run some tests and keep him here for maybe a night

or two more just to make sure everything’s fine.” Doctor Hendricks said once Sebastian had taken three

shaky breaths. “The memory loss is by no means permanent,” she said gently looking straight at Sebastian.

“There’s more than a ninety five percent chance that he’ll recover his memories over time. You just need

to find the right prompt. But until then, try and take things slowly. It can be overwhelming to find out that

you’ve missed ten years of your life.”

Sebastian nodded, lips pressed together. “Can I go see him?” he asked, forcing his voice to remain steady.

“Of course, just remember to be gentle.”

Sebastian frowned. “By gentle you mean...” he trailed off, narrowing his eyes when Burt and Doctor

Hendricks exchanged a look. “Great.” Sebastian said, shaking his head and fighting back more tears. “Really

great. So now I’m not even allowed to tell him that I’m his husband?”

“All the doctor means here, kid is that dropping such a big bomb on Kurt isn’t really the smartest thing to

do right now.” Burt said. “Just, take it slow for the moment.”

Sebastian closed his eyes and took another deep breath. He could stand here and keep arguing but he

desperately wanted to do was see Kurt. “Fine,” he said. “Whatever.”

The second his hand closed on the doorknob of Kurt’s room, his heart started beating wildly in his chest.

Neither of the room’s occupants noticed him enter and Sebastian took advantage of the fact to just take in

the sight of Kurt.

Alive. He’s alive. He’s alright.

Kurt and Blaine’s hands were twined together on the bed between them. Any other time, Sebastian

wouldn’t have thought about it twice, he was so used to their level of physical comfort with each other;

but knowing that right now, Kurt in his mind was madly in love with Blaine, the gesture felt like a punch to

Sebastian’s heart. Kurt finally caught sight of him standing there and frowned. “Sebastian?”

The sound of Kurt taking his name after so long almost broke him right then and there but Sebastian forced

himself to remain calm for Kurt’s sake. Blaine turned around at the mention of his name and Sebastian

noticed how he discreetly pulled his hand away from Kurt’s.

“What are you doing here?” Kurt asked.

“I’m here to see you, idiot.” Sebastian replied.

“Why would you care about -” Kurt paused, “Wait. Did you have anything to do with my accident?”

“What, no.” Sebastian said, walking up to stand beside where Blaine was sitting. “Why would you think

that?”

“What other reason would you have to come see me?”

How about because you’re my husband? Because we’ve been together for seven years? Because we've

been married for two?

Sebastian swallowed the lump in his throat. “In the future - god that sounds stupid,” he said, his body

starting to quiver again. He rubbed his forehead with his palm, catching the cold sweat beading there

before he forced a smile on his face. “We don’t hate each other as much as we used to.”

“I’m going to go call Rachel.” Blaine said suddenly, standing up. “I couldn’t get through to her last time I

tried. She’ll want to know Kurt’s awake.”

Sebastian frowned. Rachel already knew. She had called him minutes after Burt had and said she was so

sorry she couldn’t get out of rehearsals to come to the hospital immediately but she would be there as

soon as they were over. There was no way Blaine didn’t know that. Sebastian couldn’t stop a small,

grateful smile from spreading across his face when he realized Blaine was probably using the excuse to give

him and Kurt some time alone.

“Wait, no. Don’t go.” Kurt said, grabbing Blaine’s wrist. Blaine hesitated but gently pulled himself free of

Kurt’s grip. “I’ll be just a second,” he said softly.

Sebastian waited until the door shut behind Blaine to take his vacated seat next to the bed. Kurt was

looking at him curiously. “How are you feeling?” he asked, resisting the urge to reach out and take Kurt’s

hand like Blaine had.

“Confused.” Kurt said. “So we’re what, we’re friends?”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Sebastian said, unable to hide the sadness in his voice.

“Wow,” Kurt breathed. “How did that happen?”

“Funny story, actually.” Sebastian said with a small grin.

“The last I remember of you is after you’d assaulted Blaine with that rock salt slushie. We’re decidedly not

friends. Or at least... we weren’t. I don’t know I -” Kurt dropped his head into his hands and let out a

frustrated huff. “Ugh, I can’t remember anything.”

“Don’t pressure yourself too much.” Sebastian said. He didn’t even realize he was reaching for Kurt’s hand

until his palm was draped over the backs of Kurt’s fingers. Kurt tensed and immediately pulled his hand

away. Sebastian tried to stop the hurt from showing on his face.

“Can you please send my dad in?” Kurt asked, not meeting Sebastian’s gaze.

Sebastian stood up and nodded, ignoring the sinking feeling inside him. “Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

Sebastian stayed at the hospital while the doctors ran their tests. He took a seat at the far end of the

waiting room and listened to Blaine apologize over and over until Sebastian finally snapped and told him to

shut up; it wasn’t his fault that Kurt had lost his memory and that he was still helplessly in love with Blaine.

He kept twisting the wedding band on his finger, as if twisting it enough would turn the clocks in Kurt’s

mind back to the current time and make him remember everything.

It was cruel joke. All of it. That Kurt would forget the precise years where he and Sebastian had developed

a close friendship, fell in love and decided to stay together other until death do them part. That he would

rewind back to a time where Sebastian meant nothing to him, when he was just an irritant in his path.

When their interactions were filled with nothing but insults flinging back and forth.

Sebastian wasn’t aware that he was crying, not until he felt a hand on his shaking back and looked up to

see Blaine’s looking at him with glassy eyes.

Sebastian didn’t want to be around him at the moment, couldn’t bear to look at him without thinking of

how Kurt saw him. But he couldn’t help himself from leaning against him either. He lay his head on Blaine’s

shoulder and let his tears continue to fall silently.

Burt came out after a while and told Blaine that Kurt was asking if he was around again. Blaine gave

Sebastian another guilty look (he was starting to get really irritated by them) before he left. Sebastian

didn’t miss the way his steps were brisk, impatient to see his best friend. If Sebastian hadn’t been forced to

stay in the waiting room with a cup of the hospital’s cheap coffee, he would have smiled at him, teased

him until Blaine blushed and told him to shut up.

“How’s he doing?” Sebastian asked as Burt sat down beside him. He looked tired, his stubble flecked with

specks of white and his eyes watery either from crying or lack of sleep.

“He’s fine, still a little woozy from the meds. Had a lot of questions. Told him I would answer all of them

once the doctor finished their stupid tests.”

“Did he ask about me?” Sebastian asked in a hopeful voice.

Burt gave him a sympathetic look. “He asked me if you two becoming friends was the weirdest thing to

happen to him in ten years.”

Sebastian smiled a little, “What did you say?”

“No,” Burt said with a small grin. “Wait till he finds out you’re married.”

Sebastian’s shoulders slumped and he put his head in his hands. “I can’t believe he doesn’t remember.”

“I gotta give it to you, you’re handling this better than I would under the same circumstances.” Burt said. “I

can’t imagine how badly you must want to be with him right now.”

Sebastian was quiet for a moment. He was right; nobody could imagine the pain Sebastian was going

through. It was nothing short of torture watching how people Kurt had worked with for barely six months

got to see him while Sebastian was forced to sit in the waiting room because he couldn’t confuse Kurt with

their ‘friendship’ while he was still coming to terms with his current situation.

“Break things down slowly,” Doctor Hendricks had said. “Preferably have someone he trusts answer his

question,” she had looked at Sebastian with a smile at the words. A smile that Sebastian hadn’t returned

because the last person Kurt had trusted at eighteen had been him. Doctor Hendricks knew Sebastian was

Kurt’s husband, she didn’t know that he had also been the one person Kurt had hated with a fierce passion

at one point in his life. The same point he was stuck in at the moment. All she was concerned with was that

they didn’t freak Kurt out with the news that he was married when really, it was more the fact that he was

married to Sebastian that would freak him out more than anything.

“Sebastian?” Burt laid a hand on Sebastian’s back like Blaine had and Sebastian sat up, unable to stop the

tears from rolling down his cheeks when he looked at his father in law.

“He’s my husband, Burt. I was the one they called after the accident, I was the one who held his hand

every night and begged him to come back to me. I should be the one he asks for not -” Not Blaine.

Sebastian took a shuddering breath. “I feel like I saw him more when he was unconscious.”

Sebastian felt guilt wash through him in waves when a voice in his head said that he would rather have

Kurt unconscious if that meant he got to see him again, touch him again, whisper everything he would only

ever tell Kurt.

Blaine came out of Kurt’s room fifteen minutes before the visiting hours ended. “Come on,” he said to

Sebastian. “I’m taking you home.”

“What? No. I’m family. I’m staying.”

“Sebastian, you’re exhausted and -” Blaine hesitated.

“And Kurt couldn’t care less if I stayed, right?” Sebastian asked in a bitter voice. “So might as well go home

and have a good night’s sleep while my husband goes on believing that I’m still the jerk I was in high school

who just happens to be a friend now.”

Blaine sighed and sat down next to Sebastian. “Burt’s going to talk to him tonight,” he said. “Once he’s got

the basics down, it’ll be easier for him to process everything else.”

“I know Blaine, I heard the doctor.” Sebastian knew he was being kind of a bastard to Blaine right now but

he couldn’t bring himself to care. When he looked back up at Blaine and saw that there was only

understanding in his gaze, he sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t -”

“You are absolutely mad if you think you have to apologize to me right now,” Blaine said. “If you want to

stay the night, I’m not going to stop you. But as your friend who loves and cares about you, I’m asking you

to let me take you home. Stressing and exhausting yourself more than you already have isn’t going to help

you. Or Kurt.”

Sebastian nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “I just wish I could see him one more time before we left.” He

looked at the doors leading down to Kurt’s room with longing, missing the way Blaine smiled.

“You left your jacket in Kurt’s room earlier,” he said.

“I wasn’t wearing a jacket.” Sebastian said.

“You were.” Blaine insisted. Sebastian frowned at him, irritation bubbling inside of him again at Blaine’s

smile. Why the hell was he smiling – oh.

“Oh,” Sebastian said, eyes wide and a grin spreading across his face. “Blaine Anderson, I could kiss you

right now.”

Kurt was alone when Sebastian entered his room. He looked up expectantly when he entered but frowned

when he saw it was Sebastian. “What are you still doing here?” he asked.

“I forgot my jacket,” Sebastian said, looking around the room and spotting the jacket draped over the foot

of Kurt’s bed.

Kurt didn’t seem to recall that Sebastian hadn’t been wearing a jacket because he just said “Oh.”

Sebastian moved towards the bed slowly, wanting to draw this out as long as he could. “Feeling any

better?” he asked.

Kurt shrugged. “I feel fine. Tired but fine. They’re not telling me anything.” His mouth twisted the way it

did when he was annoyed. Sebastian wanted to bundle him up in a hug that he reserved only for Kurt.

“What do you know so far?” he asked instead.

“I’m twenty eight, living in New York City and recovering from a car accident that left me in a coma for

seven weeks and wiped out ten years from my memory.”

“Wow. So much information. Are you sure you can handle all of it?” Sebastian asked, grinning when he saw

Kurt roll his eyes in agreement.

“Every time I asked them something more specific they’d just say that I was pushing myself too hard. It’s

not like I’m any less pressured not knowing anything about my life.”

“Well what do you want to know?” Sebastian asked. “Maybe I can help.”

Kurt looked at him with a frown. “Don’t you have to leave? Visiting hours have ended.”

“I can spare a few minutes.” Sebastian said.

“Well I definitely want to know how the hell we became friends. I’m still having a hard time believing that

it’s actually a possibility.” Kurt said, shaking his head.

Sebastian smiled. “I’ll tell you. But you can’t push me for details. Deal?”

Kurt rolled his eyes but he was obviously desperate for any scrap of information because he said “Deal.”

Sebastian sat down in the vacant chair and Kurt angled his body towards him, face expectant. “There was a

coffee shop near my campus where I used to hang out,” he started. “It was close to where you were

interning at the time and we kept bumping into each other a lot.”

“Seriously? A coffee shop?” Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow. “As if stalking me at the Lima Bean wasn’t

enough -”

“Hey, I was at this shop first.” Sebastian said with a grin. “Anyway, you were new to the city and going

through some trouble at the time.”

“What trouble?”

“No pushing for details, remember?”

Kurt huffed. “Fine. But I have another question.”

“Okay.”

“When exactly did you stop being a jerk and why did we forgive you after what you did to Blaine?”

“I never stopped being a jerk; you just learned to love me despite it.” Sebastian said without thinking. He

caught himself when Kurt frowned, looking uncomfortable. “Um. I mean. I apologized, obviously. There

were certain events that took place that made me re-evaluate a lot of things and yeah – we put the slushie

incident behind us.”

“It’s not something you can just forget about.” Kurt said, his face suddenly dark.

Sebastian felt his stomach churn at the turn of events. “I told you, I apologized.”

“And we forgave you just like that?” Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It was a slow process but yes, you did. We weren’t in touch during college and when you came to New

York it was something like a fresh start for us. You never let me forget about the slushie though and we still

insulted each other a lot but... yeah.”

Kurt looked confused. “Wait, you said I met you when I first came to New York but that we weren’t in

touch during college. Did I not go to college in New York?”

Sebastian hesitated. “Details,” he said.

“No, you have to tell me!” Kurt said when Sebastian stood up. “Nobody is telling me anything!”

Sebastian looked down at him, his heart aching. “They’ll tell you soon enough,” he said.

Kurt crossed his arms and pressed his lips together, deep in thought.

Sebastian picked up the jacket from the foot of Kurt’s bed and lingered for a moment longer, waiting for

Kurt to say something. When he didn’t, Sebastian sighed and started towards the door. He stopped and

turned back to see Kurt staring at the ceiling.

“Goodnight Kurt,” he said in a quiet voice.

Kurt didn’t respond, just like he hadn’t for every night the past seven weeks. Nothing new.

Burt had left Kurt's room only to grab some food for himself. He ran into Sebastian on the way back and

though the boy tried to wipe his face the second he saw Burt, Burt still caught the red in his eyes and the

tear tracks on his cheeks.

“Hey,” Sebastian said in a relatively steady voice when they stopped in front of each other. “I just went

back to get my jacket and...” he trailed off when he saw that Burt was grinning.

“You don’t have to lie to me, kid.”

Sebastian sighed and returned Burt’s grin with a small one of his own. “I just wanted to see him before I

left.” he admitted.

“You’re going home?”

“Blaine’s insisting.” Sebastian said with a look that told Burt he wasn’t fond of the idea. “I really don’t mind

spending the night in the waiting room. I could sneak in after he’s asleep and sit with him until

morning...I’d be gone before he woke up.”

Burt’s heart ached for him. He stepped forward and clapped Sebastian on the shoulder. “Go home for

tonight, buddy.” he said. “You’ll be back in the morning and then we’ll see if Kurt’s ready to hear more

about you two.”

“Speaking of which,” Sebastian said, “I may have let a few important details slip.” Burt pulled his hand

away from Sebastian’s shoulder and raised his eyebrows, waiting. “He asked about how we became

friends. I tried to keep it brief but he put the pieces together and figured out he wasn’t in New York for

college.”

“That it?” Burt asked.

“Yeah, that’s about it.”

Burt nodded. “I was going to talk to him right now and I expect he would have found out anyway so it's not

a big deal."

"I just thought I'd tell you," Sebastian said. His phone started ringing then and Sebastian hurried to reject

the call before the noise of the ringtone caused any complaints. "It's Blaine," he said after glancing at the

caller id. "He's probably waiting for me downstairs."

"Go on, don't keep him waiting." Burt said, stepping aside. "And try to get some rest, kid. You look like you

need it.”

Chapter 2