All-american boy

L eaving Kaidan in the past had never been easy. Leaving him this time felt like I was ripping out some vital part of myself. We lingered at the airport too long, risking too much, waiting until the final calls for our flights and barely making them.

As I flew to Virginia, I couldn’t help but smile to myself. In this one way we’d outsmarted the Dukes, taking something special for ourselves. And it had been the best night of my life.

My only regret was that Patti hadn’t been there when we exchanged vows. I wanted so badly to see her—to tell her everything and be filled with her loving energy.

I’d received a text from Jay early that morning that simply said: All good. I hoped they were keeping each other safe and sane. Maybe even having a few laughs.

I bit my thumbnail and stared out at the wisps of clouds as we flew through them. Could I chance a visit to Patti and Jay? My heart accelerated in happiness as I imagined it, but I wasn’t sure I was willing to take the chance. I would never forgive myself if I drew attention to them and they were hurt.

My head spun with details and I knew I needed rest. Kaidan and I had not gone back to sleep.

Ah, my Kai...

I closed my eyes and allowed only happy thoughts until sleep found me.

The dorms of Virginia Tech opened that day. I adored the castlelike gray stone buildings and mountainous landscape. Campus was a wild rumpus of minivans and families with armfuls of stuff. I felt like an outsider. An impostor. No family. No belongings. Just a book bag with a laptop and a few changes of clothes. I had spent most of my life feeling like I didn’t belong, so I should have been used to it, but that desire to fit in and be like everyone else never went away. Especially on a day like today.

I tried not to get in anyone’s way as I walked across the grassy quad to my dorm. A pang of longing for normalcy shot through me as I glanced at students playing a pickup game of touch football—guys and girls laughing, flirting, being young with their yellow and red auras. No immediate concerns for their lives. As much as their happiness made me mourn for the youthful experiences I’d never have, it also brought me joy to see people living. And to think how their lives could be even richer if we rid their world of demons...

A weird thought suddenly hit me as I walked through the multitudes of students and their families.

I was freaking married. My eyes got big and I stumbled a little. Then I giggled and shook my head at the craziness of it all.

At my dorm I held the door open for a mom and dad carrying a futon while their daughter walked behind them, texting on her cell phone. She let me hold the door for her as well, barely glancing up at me.

“You’re welcome,” I said brightly.

She looked at me like I was crazy.

I passed them and took the stairs up to the sixth floor, letting myself into the tiny end room, a single. As the door shut behind me, I thought for a moment that it must be the wrong room. Someone’s stuff was already there. And then I saw the note.

I didn’t know if you’d have much time for shopping, so I figured I’d help. ~P

My eyes welled up as I scanned the things: a fuzzy purple papasan chair and matching throw rug, lavender bedding, a new fridge and microwave, food and drinks, a bathroom kit with all the necessities, and a box of my clothes with a roll of quarters for laundry.

I wondered if she’d had it all delivered or if she’d brought it herself. I ached inside from missing her. Wiping my eyes, I unpacked everything and set up the room. It felt a little more homey, but I was far from feeling at home.

I set up my music station and put Marna’s romantic playlist on, then flopped onto the bed for a hopeful nap. As the music played, I remembered last night—the silly faces Kaidan made at certain songs, and his serious look when he was solely concentrated on my body. Each song was a memory, replaying our honeymoon through my mind in vivid recollection.

A naughty thought crossed my mind as I recalled the picture of myself I’d saved on my phone. I pulled it up and found it to be just as sexy as I remembered. Now that he’d seen every inch of me, it didn’t seem like such a big deal to send it. It probably wouldn’t even affect him.

With a nervous, half-delirious giggle, I sent it.

Right away the giggles disappeared and panic set in. What had I done? Kaidan Rowe had, no doubt, received hundreds of sexy photos in his day. Suddenly mine seemed lame. Would he laugh? I wished I could unsend it, or that there was a way to cancel a message if it had yet to be opened.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! I climbed under the covers and pulled them up to my neck. I must have been crazy from lack of sleep. What was I thinking? I rolled over and squealed into the pillow.

And then my phone dinged with a text message. I shut my eyes as my heart went into overdrive. Would he throw me a bone? Say something like, “Aw, that’s cute, luv—thanks”?

With reluctance I picked up my phone. Another text dinged. I opened it—both were from Kaidan. Another dinged. Sheesh, what was going on?

OH GOD.

Дата добавления: 2015-10-21