A Ghost from the Past

For a long interminable moment, Mother stared at me, her eyes full of contempt. Then without a word she moved to the bed, and as I retreated from her in shame, she bent over and grabbed Don Julián’s wrist with her long ringed fingers. The king, I noticed, had fallen back from the force of my blow and was lying still against the pillows. I didn’t have to get closer to know he was unconscious.

Finally Mother’s shoulders relaxed. Letting go of Don Julián’s hand, she turned to me and, in a low strained voice, ordered me to bring her a wet towel.

“This is useless,” she said after pressing it against Don Julián’s face for a while. “He needs ice.”

But of course, we didn’t have any ice here. Instead Mother asked me to crush some pills in a cup and mix them with water. Holding Don Julián’s head gently on her left arm, she forced the liquid in his mouth. At last Don Julián stirred and opened his eyes. Mother shot a glance in my direction and, with a slight wave of her hand, ordered me out of the room.

Only too soon, Mother joined me. “Don Julián sleeps now,” she said, and her voice was stern. “You must not disturb him. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Mother.” Eyes averted, I waited for her to leave. But Mother wasn’t finished with me yet.

“Don Julián has excused your behavior,” she continued in the same harsh tone. “But I haven’t. We both know, Princess, that in his present condition Don Julián could never have posed a threat to you. So pray tell me what happened. But do not expect my sympathy, Princess. Today you have shamed your family.”

I knew Mother was right. I should not have hit Don Julián. She was also wrong. Don Julián had offended me first by dismissing me as the useless fourth daughter of my father. Too proud to admit either, I bit my lip until I tasted blood and said nothing.

Mother sighed. “All right, Princess. I cannot force you to speak. Still, I hold you responsible for your appalling behavior and order you to remain by Don Julián’s side until he wakes up. And when he wakes up, you shall apologize to him.”

I did not want to apologize to Don Julián. I did not want to see him ever again because I did not want to confront his stare. There was something very disturbing in the way he had looked at me just then, just before I hit him. But I couldn’t tell Mother this, because I had no words for it. So instead I nodded and followed Mother back to Don Julián’s room.

All afternoon I waited by the king’s bed, fearing the moment I’d have to speak to him and wishing it to be over. But Don Julián didn’t wake up, and eventually my anger at him subsided.

Soon after sunset, Mother came back. “You are lucky, Princess,” she said after examining him. “Don Julián is stable. But you are not excused. You will not leave his side until you get his pardon.”

The room grew darker. From time to time, the king jerked his arms and moaned in his sleep. He had done this often before. But this time, I felt responsible. I felt it was my fault that he was hurting. Not knowing what else to do to assuage my guilt, I sat by his side and held his arms against the covers so he would not touch his wound.

I did not mean to fall asleep, but I think I did because when I opened my eyes again, I could see that the candle I had lit when Mother left was already half gone. Careful not to disturb him, I lifted my head from the bed to check on the king. Halfpropped against the headboard, Don Julián was watching me.

Frozen in surprise, I stared at him, and he stared back at me with his dark insolent eyes that never yielded. Then he bent forward and, taking my right hand into his, raised it to his lips.

Still I did not move. I could not move. I could not talk, either. And I was glad it was dark in the room as I could feel my face burning.

Don Julián let go of my hand and lay back once more against the pillows. “I apologize, Princess, if I have offended you,” he said, and his voice was clear but also sad–or was it tired? “It was not my intention. Your offer took me by surprise. But now that I have had time to reconsider, I see the wisdom of your proposal. I accept it. If you are still interested, Princess, I will write to Don Andrés in the morning.”

I stared at him and still said nothing as thousands of questions tumbled over one another in my mind. Don Julián smiled, a sad smile that died on his lips. “Go now and get some rest, Princess.”

“But... Mother... I mean, I am supposed to watch over you tonight until my sister comes.”

“Do as I say, Princess. I have caused you enough distress already. And I wish to be alone.”

I was not sure whether he was telling me to go out of kindness or of fear I’d lose my temper again. But as kings are supposed to be brave, I assumed the first and thanked him.

“By the way, Princess,” he said, “I think it would be safer if a third party would be present tomorrow when I write. So it doesn’t become too... personal?”

My face burning, I averted my eyes. Only when I reached the door did I gather enough courage to look back. Don Julián was staring at me in his usual shameless way. But the eyes that met my stare were not hard with pride, but dark with sorrow. And I knew that for once I had caught him unaware, and I had seen into his soul.

Wishing I hadn’t, I turned again and left the room.

The following morning, I overslept. I was supposed to take over Don Julián’s care from Margarida at sunrise, but the sun was already halfway up my window when I dragged myself out of bed. It was not until I saw my face in the mirror, black circles under my eyes, that I remembered the events of the previous evening and the incredible news that Don Julián had agreed to my plan. Mother is going to be impressed, I said to myself as I rushed through my toilette.

When I opened the door into Don Julián’s room, Margarida was still there. Sitting by his side, she was quietly talking to him as she fed him from a bowl. Don Julián, his eyes intent on her face, was listening to her story and smiled from time to time. Margarida was talking about Don Alfonso, of how they had met at the Spring Ball.

“That is indeed a very romantic story,” Don Julián said when she finished. Raising his eyes, he stared openly at me. “Don’t you think so, Princess Andrea?”

He knew I was listening, I thought, blood rushing to my face. Muttering an awkward excuse for my previous silence, I stepped inside.

Margarida greeted me warmly. “Good morning,Andrea,” she said, getting up. “I hope you don’t mind, but I have been covering for you. Don Julián told me you didn’t feel well last night, so I decided not to wake you up. Are you feeling better now?”

Trying to guess what else he had told her, I glanced at Don Julián. But his face was indecipherable. “Yes, I am better. Thank you for your help, Margarida.”

“My pleasure.”

Leaving the bowl on the floor, she bent toward Don Julián and pressed her palm against his forehead–the way Ama used to do to me when I was sick as a child and running a fever. Don Julián did not complain. And when Margarida offered him a cup, he did not try to take it from her, but drank from her hands as if he had done it all his life. Then he lay back against the pillows and closed his eyes.

When Margarida was finished, she came toward me. “Andrea, Don Julián has told me he has agreed to your plan and has asked me to bring him some paper and ink to write to Father. He was so insistent, I couldn’t refuse. But I don’t think it is a good idea...”

“Why not? You don’t want to marry Don Alfonso?”

“No. I mean yes. It is not that, Andrea. What I mean is that Don Julián is not ready to meet with Father. He is too weak to leave the castle.”

“I know, Margarida. But the meeting will not be for a couple of weeks. Don Julián will be all right by then.”

Margarida sighed. “I hope you are right,” she said and, after giving me a hug, turned to go. She was already at the door when I remembered Don Julián’s request from the previous night.

“Margarida, please wait. Could you stay here while Don Julián writes to Father?”

Margarida shook her head. “I am sorry, sister, but if I don’t go now, my dueña will get suspicious. I keep telling her I am with Mother, but one of these days she is going to check, and I will be in trouble. But if you want, I could ask Tío Ramiro. I am sure he will be glad to come.”

I nodded. “Thank you, sister. You are the best.”

After Margarida left, I asked Don Julián whether he needed anything. But he assured me that he was perfectly fine, that Princess Margarida had already dressed his wound, and that he was sure I had lots of things to attend to. Given my behavior of the previous day, I could not blame him for rejecting my help. Avoiding his eyes, I went to my usual place by the window and tried to look busy doing nothing.

It was with relief that I heard footsteps outside. I rushed to the door and let Tío Ramiro in. Tío didn’t waste any time with me. After a brief greeting, he pushed me aside and walked up to the king.

“Your Majesty,” he said as he knelt to him, “it will be an honor to serve you.”

“The honor is mine,” Don Julián said. His voice was again cold and reserved, the voice of the king. And when I looked at him, I realized he was not lying on the pillows anymore, but sitting against the headboard, his body tense with the effort, the knuckles of his hand white around the bedpost, and his eyes, dark and unreadable, intent on Tio’s.

Tío Ramiro, his right knee still on the ground, returned his stare. “Before we proceed further, Sire, I owe you an apology.”

“Apology accepted,” Don Julián said. Then low, so low that I almost missed it, he added, “It has been a long time since that fateful day, Sir. Now, if we want to move forward, we must leave the past behind.”

“That is a most generous offer, Your Majesty. But recent events seem to–”

“Silence!”

Sharp and cold like the northern wind, the word echoed against the bare walls, freezing the air in its wake.

“Princess Andrea. Don Ramiro and I have matters to discuss in private.” The king had let go of the bedpost and, holding himself straight against the headboard, was staring at me with the distant arrogance of our first meeting. “I must ask you to leave now.”

I gasped and felt a sharp pain in my chest, as if icicles were ripping my flesh. Pressing my hand against my ribs to ease the pain, I moved toward him.

“I will not go, Sire. I–”

Don Ramiro blocked my way. “Andrea, wait in the other room. No arguments.”

Tears of frustration blurring my vision, I curtsied and left.

With angry strides, I paced the room–the room that had become my prison–and kicked the walls with my soft slippers that did nothing to mitigate the blows, yet I didn’t feel any pain. After an indefinite time the door opened, and Tío came in. He was smiling.

“Andrea, would you come to Don Julián’s room?” he asked, ignoring my furious demeanor. “I have to go now, and Don Julián must not be alone.”

When I did not answer, he added, “It is done, Andrea. Don Julián has agreed to meet with your father to discuss the conditions for peace. But I’m afraid your father will need a lot of persuasion to believe the offer is genuine. That is why I have decided to deliver the letter in person and hope he will believe it was brought here to the castle to me because I am the arbitrator. Also, I must be the one to carry the answer back to Alvar so I can explain the situation to Don Alfonso and inform him of the place and time of Don Julián’s return.”

“Congratulations,Tío. I’m sure both of them will be overjoyed with the news.”

“Andrea, what’s the matter with you? Don Julián has accepted your plan. What more do you want?”

“An apology to begin with. An explanation perhaps. As you just said,Tío, it was my plan. Why couldn’t I stay while you discussed it? Why did you dismiss me?”

“Andrea, please, grow up. Your plan has nothing to do with it. Don Julián was only trying to protect you when he asked you to leave.” Turning brusquely, he closed the door behind him. “I know it’s difficult for you to believe,” he said coming toward me, “but the world didn’t start the day you were born, and it doesn’t revolve around you, either.”

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean,Tío?”

“It means that you don’t know all the facts. If you did, you would understand that Don Julián deserves your respect and not your hate.”

“Why? Have you forgotten that Don Julián was the one who started the war? The one who made me a prisoner and sentenced me to death? Besides, I am not the only one with hate. Or haven’t you noticed the look in Don Julián’s eyes when you mention Father’s name?”

Tío grabbed my arms. “Have you ever considered that Don Julián may have his reasons?”

“I don’t care about his reasons. I’ve seen his actions. And as far as I am concerned, he’s guilty.”

Tio’s grip on my arms tightened. “Andrea, please stop yelling and listen for a second.” His face almost touching mine, he whispered, “Your father killed Don Julián’s father. He stabbed him through the heart as Don Julián watched.”

By the time I opened my eyes again, I was lying on the floor. Tío Ramiro was throwing water at my face.

Дата добавления: 2015-10-31