Edit]The Hounds of Baskerville

Well, that was tedious. … None of the cabs would take me.

(8 January 2012)

It's brilliant. Phone Lestrade, tell him there's an escaped rabbit on the loose. … It's this or Cluedo.

[Sherlock bursts into the room, covered in blood, brandishing a harpoon]

Sherlock Holmes: Well that was tedious.

John Watson: You went on the Tube like that?

Sherlock Holmes: None of the cabs would take me.

[Sherlock has just insulted Mrs. Hudson; she's run off in tears]

John Watson: Go after her and apologize.

Sherlock Holmes: Apologise? Oh John, I envy you so much.

John Watson: You envy me?

Sherlock Holmes: Your mind; it's so placid, straight-forward, barely used. Mine's like an engine, racing out of control; a rocket tearing itself to pieces, trapped on the launchpad... I need a case!

John Watson: You just solved one! By harpooning a dead pig, apparently.

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, that was this morning. When's the next one?

John Watson: Nothing on the website? [Sherlock stands and hands John a laptop showing a message on "the Science of Deduction" website]

Sherlock Holmes: "Dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes, I can't find Bluebell anywhere. Please, please, please can you help?"

John Watson: Bluebell?

Sherlock Holmes: A rabbit, John!

John Watson: Oh.

Sherlock Holmes: Ah but there's more; before Bluebell disappeared it turned luminous like a fairy according to little Kirsty, then the next morning Bluebell was gone. Hutch still locked, no sign of a forced entry. [gasps] What am I saying? this is brilliant. Phone Lestrade, tell him there's an escaped rabbit.

John Watson: You serious?

Sherlock Holmes: It's this or Cluedo.

John Watson: Ah, no. We are never playing that again.

Sherlock Holmes: Why not?

John Watson: Because it's not actually possible for the victim to have done it, Sherlock, that's why!

Sherlock Holmes: It was the only possible solution!

John Watson: It's not in the rules.

Sherlock Holmes: Well then the rules are wrong! [Doorbell rings]

John Watson: Single ring.

Sherlock Holmes: Maximum pressure, just under a half-second.

Both: Client!

[After Sherlock does his signature scan on Henry Knight]

Henry Knight: How on earth did you notice all that?

John Watson: It's not important...

Sherlock Holmes: Punched out holes where your ticket's been changed...

John Watson: Not now, Sherlock.

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, please. I've been cooped up here for ages.

John Watson: You're just showing off.

Sherlock Holmes: Of course. I am a show-off, that's what we do.

Sherlock Holmes: Look at me. I'm afraid, John. Afraid.

John Watson: Sherlock...

Sherlock Holmes: I've always been able to keep myself distant. Divorce myself from feelings. But you see, body's betraying me. Interesting, yes? Emotions... grit on the lens, the fly in the ointment.

John Watson: All right, Spock, just take it easy.

John Watson: Why would you listen to me? I'm just your friend.

Sherlock Holmes: I don't have "friends"!

John Watson: No. Wonder why?

Sherlock Holmes: Listen, what I said before John, I meant it. I don't have friends; I've just got one.

John Watson: [Nods] Right. [Continues walking away]

Sherlock Holmes: [Calling after him] John? John! [Running after him] You are amazing, you are fantastic!

John Watson: Yes, alright, don't have to overdo it.

Sherlock Holmes: I've got a theory but I need to get back into Baskerville to test it. [Pulling out phone]

John Watson: How? Can't pull off the ID trick again.

Sherlock Holmes: Might not have to. [Puts phone to ear] Hello brother dear! How are you?

Sherlock Holmes: Murder weapon and the scene of the crime, all at once! Haha, oh, this case...! Thank you, Henry. It's been brilliant.

John Watson: Sherlock?

Sherlock Holmes: What?

John Watson: [Indicating Henry, who is in a state of shock] Timing!

Sherlock Holmes: Oh. Not good?

Sherlock Holmes: Totally scientific. Laboratory conditions. Quite literally...

[Flashback to Sherlock monitoring John as he runs from the 'hound' earlier in the episode]

John Watson: [whispering] He's in here with me...

Sherlock Holmes: Alright, keep talking. I'll find you. [pause] Keep talking!

John Watson: I can't, he'll hear me...

Sherlock Holmes: Tell me what you're seeing!

[Sherlock puts his phone to a mic and sends a vicious dog snarl over the intercom.]

John Watson: [Shuddering] I don't know, but I can hear it...

Sherlock: [In the present] I knew what effect it had on a superior mind so I needed to try it on an average one. [John stops eating and looks up, insulted.] You know what I mean.

John Watson: [about being dosed with the experimental drug] Any long-term effects?

Sherlock Holmes: Unlikely. You'll be back to normal once you've excreted it.

John Watson: Think I might have taken care of that already.

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