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"I'm telling you it's almost done. It'll be perfect and yes, I did fix the ending. Now, go away. I know, next Tuesday—like I could forget." Chase threw her cell phone on the couch after she clicked off, and accidently nailed her writing mascot, Curious George, in the forehead.
"Sorry about that George," she said, turning around to stare at her computer. "I need to write better so I have less work at the end. Remember Kurt Vonnegut—every page perfect before he moved on. Ugh! I could never do that. I wouldn't get anything done."
"Who are to talking to?" Lacey asked. She stood in the doorway of the writing studio.
"Curious George." Chase swung around in her chair and pointed at the stuffed monkey. She attempted to look peevish to convey that she was busy. Lacey did not take the hint but took a seat on the couch next to George.
Seeing that Lacey was not going away Chase got up and poured them both an iced tea. "Now, what brings you up here on such a pleasant day?" she asked in an effort to accelerate the visit.
"Thanks. I'm parched," Lacey said, taking the glass. "It is a nice day and when one sees the world shining bright and full of promise it makes your inner self brim with unblocked Chi." Lacey took a sip and leaned back on the couch.
"Have you been going to Jasmine's meditation class?" Chase scooted George over and sat on the couch next to Lacey.
"How'd you know?"
"Because Jasmine always talks like that after her class. You're acting guilty. What's up?"
"Philip doesn't want her to go to meditation. He says she gets all weird."
"That guy is a total prick. Does she tell him that he can't go golfing because his testicles sweat and he might get ringworm?" Chase finished her iced tea. She needed about three more if she was going to get through the afternoon.
"What's that?"
"I don't really know. It's something guys get. Now, what do you want?"
"Can I kiss you?" Lacey sipped her iced tea and stared unblinking at Chase. She acted like she'd asked for a ride to the airport or if Chase would feed her cat and water the plants while she went away for the weekend.
"Excuse me?"
"I need to kiss a woman and you're my best friend and I trust you more than anyone in the whole world—so I figured you should be the one. Can I have some more tea?"
"Sure," Chase said. Lacey had the uncanny ability to drop big piles of doo-doo and then walk away with no concern for the consequences.
Lacey was looking at her. "I don't know why you're making such a big deal about it." She poured the tea.
"Oh, I don't know. I'm married with a kid on the way and you're straight—just to name a few."
"Will you just do it?" Lacey said.
"Not until you tell me why. Is this some diversity training class where everyone has to kiss a lesbian? It's not normal behavior except for lesbians." Chase's voice had become high and squeaky.
"I want you to kiss me because I really like Jasmine, but I don't want to kiss her and discover that I don't like it. I wouldn't want to do that to her." Lacey sat down next to Chase and put her hands in her lap.
"That almost sounds altruistic for you," Chase said. Lacey did look pensive.
"Chase, please will you just do it?"
"I've got to call Gitana first and get her feedback. She is part of the equation."
"All right. I just hope she's open-minded about this. It really is more like a public service than anything else."
Chase rolled her eyes and grabbed her cell phone from Curious George. She dialed.
"What's up, babe?"
That was the nice thing about cell phones—you no longer had to introduce yourself. Name tags did it for you. This always made Chase smile. Whenever Ariana, her editor called, it came up as a private number so Chase knew it was her. She'd answer, "Hi, Ariana," but Ariana would always say, "Hi, Chase, it's Ariana," and get all flustered. It shifted the balance of power. "Lacey wants to kiss me. I called to get your permission."
She laughed. "Do you guys have something going on I need to know about?"
"Lacey might be attracted to Jasmine who is trying to seduce her. Lacey doesn't want to be freaked out or hurt Jasmine's feelings if she doesn't like it. That's my best summation."
"All right then, but save some for me and if Lacey converts we get a new toaster oven since ours committed an act of self-immolation the other day."
"I hate when they do that. I'll let you know how it goes,"
Chase said. She clicked off and gave the phone back to Curious George.
"So it's all right?" Lacey said.
"Yes, but if you convert we get a toaster oven."
"It's a deal." Lacey was sitting on the edge of the couch like a cat ready for the pounce.
"Let's relax for a minute." Chase found she was actually nervous. For Lacey's sake she would pretend not to be. They both took a couple deep breaths. "Ready?"
"I think so. I mean, yes," Lacey said.
Chase moved over next to Lacey and leaned over and touched Lacey's face. She moved closer and kissed her. Lacey kissed back—their tongues circling each other. Lacey let out a little moan and they opened their eyes.
"You're a great kisser," Lacey said.
"How'd it make you feel?"
"That if you weren't married I'd be taking your clothes off right now."
"Wonderful. Now go tell Jasmine. I've got to get back to work."
Lacey gave her a bone-crushing hug. "I love you. You're a true friend. Got to go." Lacey jumped up and flew out of the room.
Chase went back to her computer and her editing deadline. She never really understood later-in-life converts. Had Lacey awakened this morning and decided she might be a lesbian? It made no sense, but then she had a hard time figuring herself out. How the hell was she supposed to figure anyone else out? Therapists were supposed to do that, but, her view therapists fell into the same category as the weatherman. They both produced guesses masquerading as science.
She got some work done, completing the find and replace of a set of names beginning with the same letter. How did shit like that still escape her? Cynthia, Carol and Chris. They were minor characters, but it was a gross oversight. She hated giving Ariana ammunition. Chase's entire improvement as a writer was tied to thwarting Ariana's list of writing faux pas.
While Chase muttered obscenities at her manuscript Gitana slipped into the studio and kissed Chase's neck.
"Hey, baby. Where are the dogs?"
Chase always knew when Gitana got home because the dogs were the alarm system. "They're having an ice cream cone with Nora and Eliza."
"Why didn't they come home with you? What's the occasion?"
"Alone time with my wife."
Chase swung around in the chair to face Gitana who held two cords that looked suspiciously like they belonged to their bathrobes. Gitana smiled at her.
The phone rang. It was Lacey. "What's wrong now?"
"The WiFi isn't working at Starbucks and I want to look up you know, that c-word."
"What's that?" Chase said.
"The thing you gals do... down there," Lacey said.
"Got it. Straight people do it too."
"I know, but I've never done it. I wanted to look it up on Wikipedia," Lacey said.
"They have stuff like that on there?"
Gitana was taking her clothes off in a striptease fashion—slow and deliberate. Chase was sure pregnant women doing stripteases was against the law somewhere on the planet.
"I thought it was a good place to start and then there's this thing Jasmine told me the other day about practicing on mangos."
"Excuse me?" Chase said.
"You cut it in half and sort of suck on it," Lacey explained.
"I don't want to hear any more."
"Can't you look it up for me?"
"I can't. Gitana is tying me to a chair right now."
It was true—the now naked Gitana had taken the bath robe cords and tied Chase's free hand to the chair.
"Is that something I should learn?" Lacey inquired.
"You might want to wait a bit—look, you know what you like down there. Do that to Jasmine and you'll be fine."
"I can do that. I'll be fine. Won't I?" Lacey said with obvious trepidation.
"You've had a lot of practice."
"I should be insulted."
"Don't be. Remember the deal." Chase clicked off. Gitana grabbed the phone and chucked it on the couch. It hit Curious George in the head. The poor bastard has had a hard day, Chase thought as Gitana tied her other hand to the chair.
She pulled off Chase's shorts and flicked her tongue up her inner thigh. Chase moaned and struggled for a moment before letting go. Oh, she thought if Lacey gets this her life will be heaven.
"I missed you," Gitana said as she straddled Chase and slipped her fingers inside. Chase moved against her. Gitana kept kissing her until Chase came.
"Oh, God," Chase said. It was odd not being in control of part of your body while your lover brought you there. She contemplated asking if she could do the same, but decided that tying up your pregnant wife might be out of line.
Instead, she let Gitana untie her and then Chase sucked her fingers while her hand played elsewhere. It was perfectly lovely and then they went to the couch and did the mango thing until they heard the horn honk in the driveway and the dogs came flying across the yard and up to the studio.
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