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Holmes: Well, Watson, any views?
Watson: I should think you had better see the young lady herself.
Holmes: My dear Watson, if her poor old broken father cannot move her, how shall I, a stranger, do it? I think we must begin from a different angle. I rather fancy that Shinwell Johnson might be a help. Look here, Watson, you look very tired. Lie down there on the sofa, and see if I can put you to sleep.
(Holmes takes his violin and starts to play. Watson falls asleep. While he is sleeping, Holmes is playing and thinking about the case. Then he stops playing, goes to his desk and writes something. Mrs. Hudson enters the room.)
Holmes (in a low voice to Mrs. Hudson): This letter must be sent immediately, Mrs. Hudson.
Mrs. Hudson (whispering): Yes, Mr. Holmes. (Goes out.)
Holmes (speaking over the telephone): Sir James? Yes, I’d like to pay a visit to the lady. Yes, it’s fine. Thank you.
Weber (appears behind Holmes): I was sure we should meet sooner or later, Mr. Holmes.
Holmes (turns round): Baron Weber?
Weber: I am he. You have been engaged, no doubt, to stop my marriage with Violet Bellamy.
Holmes (in a calm, cold voice): General Bellamy is not my client.
Weber: Of course not. Bellamy is a broken man. Your client is an old friend, he is one who has known the General for many years.
Holmes: You mean Sir James Damery?
Weber: Nothing of the kind. You know whom I mean. Or… you don’t? (Holmes doesn’t answer.) My dear man, it is not a case in which you can possibly succeed.
Holmes: Let me strongly advise you to leave the lady alone.
Weber (starts laughing): Excuse my amusement, Mr. Holmes, but it is really funny to see you trying to play a hand with no cards in it.
Holmes: So you think.
Weber: So I know. You are going to visit Violet? All right, Mr. Holmes. She is ready for your visit. My last word to you is, go your own way and let me go mine. Goodbye! (Disappears in the darkness).
SCENE IV
The same room. Holmes lights his pipe and sits down in an arm-chair to smoke. Watson awakes.
Holmes (to Watson): You have slept soundly. I feared that our talk would wake you.
Watson (gets up, yawning): I heard nothing. Any fresh news, Holmes?
Holmes: Baron Weber was here. He is a real aristocrat of crime, cool as ice, silky voiced and poisonous as a cobra.
Watson: The fellow seems dangerous, Holmes. Must you interfere? Does it really matter if he marries the girl?
Holmes: Considering that he undoubtedly murdered his last wife, I should say it mattered very much. Besides, the client! Well, well, we need not discuss that. (Lookes out of the window.) It’s Shinwell Johnson, one of my agent, you know him, Watson. (To Shinwell Johnson, who enters the room accompanied by a young girl.) Come in, please.
Johnson: This is Miss Kitty Winter. She can help you, I’m sure.
Kitty: Yes, it’s my name. You needn’t go into my past, Mr. Holmes. But what I am Albert Weber made me. Oh, If I could only pull him down!
Holmes: Do you know how the matter stands?
Kitty: He’s after some other poor fool and wants to marry her this time. You want to stop it.
Holmes: We are going to visit the lady. She is madly in love. She has been told all about him. She cares nothing.
Kitty: Told about the murder?
Holmes: Yes.
Kitty: May I go with you? If I stood before her and told her how he used me…
Holmes: Would you do this?
Kitty: Would I? Would I not! Let me see this man in the mud, in the mud with my foot on his face!
Holmes: Well, it might be worth trying. Let’s go now. Get you hat, Watson.
Watson: You wish me to come?
Holmes: Yes, doctor, if you have nothing better to do.
SCENE V
General Bellamy’s house. Lady Violet is standing in the middle of the room with Holmes’s card in her hand. Holmes, Watson and Kitty Winter enter the room.
Violet (calmly): Well, sir, your name is familiar to me. But it’s only by my father’s request that I see you at all.
Holmes (bowing): I appreciate it, Miss Bellamy.
Violet: I give you five minutes, Mr. Holmes.
Holmes: My only wish is to save your good name and very life, Lady Violet. You don’t know the man you are going to marry. He is terrible. He is a murderer, no doubt.
Violet (in a clear, cold voice): I love him and he loves me. And anything you can say could not have the slightest effect upon my mind. (Examines Kitty through a lorgnette.) But I am not clear who this young lady may be.
Kitty (speaking very rapidly): I’ll tell you who I am. I am his last mistress. I am one of a hundred that he has ruined as he will you also. I tell you, you foolish woman, if you marry this man he’ll be the death of you! It may be a broken heart or it may be a broken neck, but it’s all the same!
Violet (coldly): I should prefer not to discuss such matters.
Kitty: It’s not out of love for you I’m speaking. It’s out of hate for him! You needn’t look at me like that, my fine lady, for you may be lower than I am before you are through with it!
Violet (severely): Mr. Holmes, I beg you to bring this interview to an end!
Kitty (darts forward and tries to clutches Lady Violet by the hair): You fool!
Watson (to Holmes, who tries to drag Kitty toward the door): Can I help you, Holmes?
Holmes: Be so kind! (To Lady Violet.) I’m sorry, my lady. I’m really very sorry. (Leaves the room after Watson and Kitty.)
SCENE VI
A small coffee-bar in Berkeley Square, just opposite General Bellamy’s residence. Holmes, Watson and Kitty Winter are speaking over their tea.
Holmes: Thanks to you, doctor. (To Kitty, who is still shivering with anger.) There, there, my dear Miss Winter.
Kitty: A book!
Holmes: What?
Kitty: There was one thing that shook me. It’s the book he has – a brown leather book with a lock.
Holmes: What was that, then?
Kitty: I tell you, Mr. Holmes, this man collects women and takes a pride in his collection. He had it all in that book. Photos, names, details, everything about them.
Holmes: Where is the book?
Kitty: How can I tell you where it is now? It’s more than a year since I left him. I know where he kept it then.
Holmes: Where?
Kitty: In the inner study. It’s a small room where he keeps papers and things.
Holmes: Thank you, Miss Winter. Maybe I’ll need your help one more time. Watson, will you do me a favour and take Miss Winter home?
Watson: Of course, Holmes.
Holmes: I must plan some fresh move, my friend. I’ll keep in touch with you.
(Watson and Kitty Winter leave the coffee-bar. Holmes follows them in a few minutes. Two strangers come up to him with sticks in their hands.)
Holmes: What do you want, gentlemen? Let me go!
(The strangers attack Holmes. They fight.)
1st stranger: Holmes, the busybody!
2nd stranger: Just you wait, Mister Detective!
Holmes: Watson! Watson!
1st stranger: I will teach you a lesson!
2nd stranger: Just let me at him!
1st stranger: Holmes, the Scotland Yard Jack-in-office!
(The strangers disappear. Holmes is lying on the ground. News-vendors run onto the stage, crying out headlines.)
News-vendors: - Murderous attack upon Sherlock Holmes!
- Two men armed with sticks tried to kill the well-known
private detective!
- The famous Sherlock Holmes was the victim of unknown
murderers!
- His wounds are very serious!
SCENE VII
Holmes’s bedroom in Baker Street 221-b. The room is darkened. Holmes is lying in his bed. His head is bandaged. Mrs. Hudson lets Dr. Watson in.
Watson (whispering): How is he, Mrs. Hudson?
Mrs. Hudson: The doctors say there is no danger.
Holmes (in a weak voice): All right, Watson. Don’t look so scared. It’s not as bad as it seems.
Watson: Thank God for that! What can I do, Holmes? I’ll go and kill that damned fellow, I mean Baron Weber, if you give the word!
Holmes: Good old Watson! You’ll do nothing of the kind. Wait a little. I have my plans. The first thing is to make the Baron believe that I am a dying man. They’ll come to you for news. Put it on thick1, Watson. Lucky if I live the week out – concussion, delirium – what you like! You can’t overdo it.
Watson: Anything else?
Holmes (after a pause): Yes. Tell Shinwell Johnson to get that girl out of the way. They’ll be after her now. They know, of course, that she was with me in the case. That is urgent. Do it tonight.
Watson: I’ll go now. What else?
Holmes: I want you to spend the next forty-eight hours in an intensive study of Chinese pottery.
Watson: Chinese pottery? Are you all right, Holmes?
Holmes: Yes. Don’t worry. It’s part of my plan. Can you do it for me?
Watson: I’m here to be used. Anything more?
Holmes: Put my pipe on the table – and the tobacco-slipper2. Right! (Closes his eyes and falls asleep. Watson goes out of the room.)
SCENE VIII
Holmes and Watson’s living room. Holmes is sitting in his favourite chair, smoking a pipe. Enter Mrs. Hudson with a glass of medicine in her hand.
Mrs. Hudson: It’s time to take your medicine, Mr. Holmes.
Holmes: Thank you, Mrs. Hudson. Could you draw the curtain? I’m afraid the daylight is too bright for me. And light the gas, please. Thank you, that is excellent. Has Dr. Watson come back?
Mrs. Hudson: Not yet, sir. Oh, I hear his steps. (Lets Watson in and goes off.)
Holmes (to Watson): Have you done it, Watson?
Watson (in a merry, optimistic voice): I’ve done everything. Miss Winter is in a safe place. I’ve been in the London Library and now I have some books on the subject you want me to study. (Shows the books.)
Holmes (retreating to back of his chair): Thank you, my good Watson. You are the best of messengers.
Watson: How do you feel, Holmes?
Holmes: Not bad, my dear fellow, not bad. Now, please, let me have my rest.
(Holmes’s eyes are closed. He is smoking and thinking. Watson seats himself at the desk to read the books he has taken from the library. Now and then he answers telephone calls about Holmes’s health.)
Watson: - Yes, yes. It’s Dr. Watson. He is in bad state. A change for the
worst took place.
- Yes. He is near his end.
- Who’s calling, please? Well, he is not better today. He is past hope.
- Speaking. I’m sorry to say he is on the point of death.
Mrs. Hudson (enters the room): The evening papers, gentlemen.
Watson (taking the newspapers from her): Thank you, Mrs. Hudson. (Looks the papers through.) Why, Holmes, if one believed the papers, you are dying! (Rising.) Holmes!
Holmes (opens his eyes): What’s the matter, Watson?
Watson: Baron Weber is leaving for New York! He has some important business in the States before his wedding to Miss Violet Bellamy.
Holmes (speaking in his natural strong voice): When?
Watson: Friday.
Holmes: Tomorrow! Only one day! I’ll have to visit the Baron this evening.
Watson: But you are too weak to leave you bed, Holmes.
Holmes: I was weak a minute ago, but I’m strong enough now. We must save the lady and it’s the only chance we have. The Baron is leaving tomorrow and, of course, he will take his diary with him. If we want to get this book we should try to do it tonight. Are you going with me?
Watson: When you like and where you like.
Holmes: Good. (Points to the pile of books on the table.) Have you learned your lessons, Watson?
Watson: At least I have tried.
Holmes: Can you keep up the conversation on the subject?
Watson: I believe I can.
Holmes: Then hand me that little box from the mantelpiece. It needs careful handling, Watson. (Takes a small saucer out of the box and shows it to Watson.) This is the real eggshell pottery of the Ming dynasty1.
Watson: What am I to do with it? (Holmes hands him a card. Watson reads it.) “Dr. Hill Barton, 369 Half Moon Street”. What is it, Holmes?
Holmes: That’s your name for the evening. You will call upon Baron Weber. You are a collector, this saucer has come your way, you have heard of the Baron’s interest in the subject and want to sell it at a price.
Watson: What price?
Holmes: Well asked, Watson. (Changes his dressing-gown into a jacket.) Suggest that the saucer should be valued by an expert.
Watson: But if he won’t see me?
Holmes: Oh, yes, he will see you. He has the collection mania and especially on this subject. (Picks up his hat and stick. To Watson, who tries to stop him.) Not a word, Watson! Into your coat and come!
SCENE IX
Baron Weber’s study. The Baron is standing at the open front of a great case, which contains part of his Chinese collection. The Baron turns as Dr. Watson enters the room.)
Weber: Pray sit down, doctor. I was looking over my own treasures. Have you the Ming saucer with you?
Watson: Here it is. (Carefully unpacks the saucer and hands it to the Baron.)
Weber (examines the saucer): Very fine, very fine indeed! How did you get it?
Watson: Does it really matter?
Weber (suspiciously): The situation seems very strange.
Watson (pretends that he is outraged): You can do business or not. I can’t spend the whole day here. I’m a very busy man. I am a doctor in practice.
Weber: I wonder if you have any right to sell it. I suppose the saucer is not yours.
Watson (springs to his feet): This is intolerable, sir! What do you mean? Have I stolen it, then?
Weber: What is the game? You are here as a spy. You are a man of Holmes! The fellow is dying, so he sends you to keep watch upon me. But you may find it harder to get out than to get in. (Moves toward Watson.)
Watson (steps back): Stop it, Baron Weber!
Weber: By God! You’ve made your way in here without leave! You’ll never see your friend again! (Picks up a stick with a heavy handle.)
Watson: Hands off, sir! Hands off!
(Suddenly the Baron hears something behind him. He stands listening for a few seconds, then dashes into the next room. At the back the audience see Sherlock Holmes, standing near the open window, with a brown book in his hand. The next moment he jumps out of the window and disappears in the garden. The Baron rushes after him to the open window. A woman’s arm shoots out from among the leaves. The Baron utters a terrible cry, claps his two hands to his face and rushes round the room, beating his head against the walls.)
Weber: Damn it! Ah! Ah!
Kitty (appears in the window for a moment): I did it! I did it after all!
Weber (falls on the floor and starts rolling and screaming): Water! For God’s sake, water! It was that hell-cat, Kitty Winter! Oh, the she-devil! She’ll pay for it! She’ll pay!
Watson (to the butler, who has just run in from the hall): Call the police and send for his doctor. (He kneels by the Baron and tries to help him.)
(The butler goes out and comes back in a few minutes.)
Weber: Oh, God in heaven, this pain is more than I can bear!
Watson (to the butler): Help me to carry him into his bedroom.
(Watson with a help from the butler carries Baron Weber away. The next moment inspector MacDowall arrives. Two constables and Kitty Winter follow him. She is wearing handcuffs. Dr. Watson enters from the Baron’s bedroom.)
Inspector: Bad business! Bad business! Who are you, sir?
Watson (looks very tired): I think you must recollect me, Inspector MacDowall. Here is my card.
Inspector: Sure, Dr. Watson. You are Sherlock Holmes’s friend and assistant.
Watson (points to Kitty): Is it necessary to arrest this girl, inspector?
Inspector: Certainly, sir. She committed a vitriol attack1 upon Baron Weber, a decent gentleman. And now I am going to arrest Mr. Holmes, who has broken the law too. He is a common thief! It’ll bring him into the dock.2
Watson (worried): My friend is still not well, inspector. I ask you to wait a day or two.
Inspector: Not well, eh? But he feels well enough for breaking into houses. Here’s a business! Here’s a pretty business!
SCENE X
Holmes and Watson’s living-room in Baker Street. They are sitting near the fireplace and discussing the case. Holmes looks very pale and exhausted.
Holmes: Do the police intend to arrest me?
Watson: I am afraid they do. As for this girl, Kitty Winter, she is already in prison.
Holmes: Poor thing. My fault, Watson! But how could I guess what she was going to do!
Watson: It was terrible. When I turned the Baron’s awful face to the light of the lamp, one of his servants fainted.
Holmes: The wages of sin3, Watson, the wages of sin! Sooner or later it will always come. God knows, there was sin enough. (He takes a brown book from the table.) Here is the book the woman talked of.
Watson: Is it the Baron’s love diary?
Holmes: Or his lust diary. Call it what you will. It’s a beastly book. If this will not break off the marriage, nothing ever could. But it will, Watson, it must. No self-respecting woman could stand it. (The door opens.) Ah, Sir James, I am glad you have come.
Damery (enters the room with Violet Bellamy): I received your note, Mr. Holmes, and I could persuade Miss Bellamy to accompany me.
Holmes: Lady Violet, we are honoured by your visit.
Violet: Sir James told me you have something, that may be interesting for me.
Holmes: Pray sit down, my lady.
Violet: I don’t quite understand. What does it all mean?
Holmes (gives her the Baron’s diary): Have a look at this, Lady Violet.
Violet (a little surprised): It is his own writing.
(Holmes leaves her to read the diary and comes up to Sir James Damery.)
Damery (watching the lady while she is reading): You have done wonders, wonders! The book will bring her back to earth. She cannot get past it.
Violet: My God! How blind I have been! (Covers her face with her hands.)
Watson (passes her a glass of water): Drink this.
Violet (trying to be calm): It’s nothing. I am all right again. It was a shock to see this horrible book.
Damery: That is all over, my dear girl. Let’s go now. Your father will worry. (To Holmes.) Sir, I cannot find words to thank you.
Violet: Goodbye, gentlemen.
(Sir James Damery and Violet Bellamy go off.)
Watson: She is a real lady.
Holmes: Yes, indeed.
Mrs. Hudson (opens the door): A gentleman for you, sir.
Inspector (enters): Mr. Sherlock Holmes?
Holmes: My name, inspector.
Inspector: I arrest you for the burglary, man. Follow me to the police station.
Watson: I’m with you, Holmes. I can’t let you go there alone. (To the inspector.) I was in the case with my friend, Inspector MacDowell.
Holmes: My dear Watson, I owe you a thousand apologies.
Damery (reappears): It is as I feared. I expected to find you here, inspector. Leave these two gentlemen alone. Here is a letter with some instructions for you. (Gives him an envelope.)
Inspector (reads the letter): Oh, I see. I’m sorry, I’ve disturbed you, gentlemen. Mr. Holmes, Dr. Watson, good-bye! (Goes off.)
Damery: You will not stand in the dock, my dear sir. I promise it. (Goes to the door, then turns.) As for Miss Winter, be sure, that the British law can be human and elastic.
SCENE XI
The same room. An early morning. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are having breakfast. Enter Mrs. Hudson. She carries their morning mail.
Mrs. Hudson: “The Morning Post”, doctor. And a parcel for you, Mr. Holmes.
Watson (looks the paper through): Well, Holmes, the marriage between Baron Albert Weber and Miss Violet Bellamy will not take place. You’ve done excellent work!
Holmes: We have done, my friend. (Unpacks the parcel.) It’s a present from our client.
Watson: What a wonderful diamond! (A sudden idea occurs to him.) Holmes, I doubt, it was sent by post. (Runs to the window.)
Holmes: Watson! Watson!
Watson (looking out of the window): Why, Holmes, there is a carriage near our door. Look at the armorial bearings upon the panel. Now I know who our client is! It’s…
Holmes (comes up to him): It’s a loyal friend and a real gentleman. Let that now and for ever be enough for us.
CURTAIN
PART FIVE: CHRISTMAS PLAY
THE VERY FIRST CHRISTMAS 1
(Level II)
CHARACTERS: Narrator.
Mary.
Joseph.
Angel.
Shepherd boy.
Shepherds.
Three Wise Men.
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