The Woodbridge Manor mystery

(based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s stories about Sherlock Holmes)

(Level I)

CHARACTERS: Mr. Sherlock Holmes, a private detective.

Dr. Watson, his friend and assistant.

Lady Margaret Woodbridge, the lady of Woodbridge

Ida, her companion. Manor.

Dr. Adams, a local doctor.

Inspector Lestrade, a policeman from London.

Constables.

SCENE I

Lady Margaret’s drawing-room in Woodbridge Manor. Lady Margaret is sitting in a comfortable arm-chair by the fireplace. She is trying to stay calm, but the audience can see that she is nervous and frightened. Enter Ida.

Ida: Two gentlemen want to see you, my dear Margaret.

Margaret: Show them in, please.

Holmes (enters the room, followed by Dr. Watson): Good afternoon, my lady. My name is Sherlock Holmes and this is my friend, Dr. Watson. (They both bow.)

Margaret (in a low voice): Good afternoon. (Points to the chairs.) Will you sit down, gentlemen?

Holmes: I got your message, my lady.

Margaret: Do you know anything about this terrible crime?

Ida (enters the room with a tea-tray): Tea, Madam?

Margaret: No tea for me, Ida, thank you.

Ida (hands Margaret a cup): But you need a cup of strong hot tea, Margaret.

Margaret (refuses to take it): Sorry, I can’t. But, thank you, anyway.

(Ida sits down on the sofa and listens to their conversation very attentively.)

Holmes: We know that Colonel Barrett was murdered in your house. And that is all. Could you give us some more facts, please?

Margaret: Have you already seen…him? I mean… this horrible wound?

Watson: I think, he was killed with one of these heavy candlesticks. (Points to one of them.)

Margaret (in a weak, shivering voice): This is very painful, very painful and terrible.

Holmes: But we still haven’t the motive of the crime, Lady Woodbridge.

Margaret: Oh, motive. My jewels, no doubt. Our family is not rich now… And I asked Colonel Barrett to take my jewels to London and pawn them. He is… was my late father’s old friend. And…

Holmes: And?

Margaret: And now he is dead, and the jewels disappeared! It’s awful! (Starts crying.)

Holmes (tries to calm her): There, there, my lady. I have no case on hand. I will look into your matter.

Ida (comes up to Lady Margaret and embraces her): You should have a rest, my dear.

(Inspector Lestrade enters the room, followed by two constables.)

Lestrade: It’s you, Mr. Holmes! What are you doing here, may I ask?

Watson: Lady Woodbridge needs our help, inspector Lestrade.

Lestrade: What? Your help? Is it a joke?

Holmes: Come, come, Lestrade. You know I play the game for the game’s own sake.

Lestrade: You’re too late, Mr. Holmes. I’ve already arrested the murderer. This is the man. (The constables step aside and the audience see a man, wearing handcuffs. Lady Margaret utters a cry.) It is Dr. Adams.

Margaret: Oh!

Lestrade (to the arrested man): Well, sir, you must go with us to the police station.

Holmes: One question, Lestrade. How tall was Colonel Barrett?

Lestrade: Quite tall: more than six feet high. Good luck for you, Mr.Holmes.

(Inspector Lestrade, Dr. Adams and the constables go off.)

SCENE II

The room where Colonel Barrett was killed. Holmes is carefully examining it. Watson is waiting for the end of his search.

Holmes: Very interesting, very interesting indeed!

Watson: What are you looking for, Holmes?

Holmes: A chair, Watson, a chair.

Watson: Here it is.

Holmes: Not that sort of chair. I need a good old English chair, a chair you can sit on without any fears.

Watson: There is no chair of this kind here.

Holmes: Yes, and it is very strange, my dear fellow.

Watson: But why?

Holmes: Dr. Adams is not as tall as the late Colonel was. Either he was standing on a chair or he is not guilty. Do you remember the direction of the blow?

Watson: Yes, of course! Then he is not a murderer, Holmes!

Holmes (notices something on the floor): Dear me! That is certainly remarkable!

Watson: What is it?

Holmes: Look.

Watson: Pine-needles and red sand.

Holmes: You have a good memory, Watson. Where did we see red sand this morning?

Watson: Near the country inn.

Holmes: Excellent!

Watson: Splendid, Holmes! You have got it!

Lestrade (enters the room): Well, Mr. Holmes, have you found out anything?

Holmes: I have found out everything.

Lestrade: What? You are joking!

Holmes: I was never more serious in my life.

Lestrade: And the criminal?

Holmes: Your man is in the local inn now. Go and arrest him.

Lestrade: But, Mr. Holmes…

Holmes: Not a word, Lestrade! Go and take him!

Lestrade (turns to Dr. Watson and taps his forehead three times): Nobody home!1 Eh, Dr. Watson? Well, at least, the place is not far from here.

SCENE III

Lady Margaret’s drawing-room. She is pacing up and down the room. Mr. Holmes and Dr. Watson enter. Lady Margaret turns to them.

Margaret: Mr. Holmes, I’d like to talk with you alone.

Holmes: Dr. Watson is my old friend, my lady. I have no secrets from him.

Margaret (sits down): Try to understand me, Mr. Holmes. Dr. Adams can’t be a murderer. I know him better than that.

Holmes: Yes, my lady. He is not a murderer.

Margaret (very excited): Have you solved the problem? You know the name of the real criminal?

Holmes: We still don’t know his name, but we know her name.

Margaret: Her? What do you mean, Mr. Holmes?

Holmes: The murderer wasn’t alone in this case. He had an assistant. It’s Ida, your companion.

Margaret (rising up): You are mad, Mr.Holmes! Ida is my only true friend. I’ve known her for many years.

Holmes: It was Ida who let the murderer in last night.

Margaret: No, you are mistaken.

Holmes: I am absolutely sure of her guilt, my lady.

Lestrade (bursts into the room): Mr. Holmes! You are a wizard! We’ve arrested the man and found the jewels. Wonderful! (To Lady Margaret.) By the way, my lady, he told us your maid had helped him.

Margaret (in a cheerless tone): Then, it is true.

Holmes: You have done excellent work, Lestrade.

Dr. Adams (appears in the doorway, still wearing handcuffs): And how about me?

Lestrade (taking the handcuffs off Dr. Adams’s hands): Oh, sorry. I hope I didn’t harm you. Just a moment. That’s all right. (To Lady Margaret.) Will you ask your companion to come?

(Lady Margaret rings the bell. Ida enters.)

Ida: Did you call me, Margaret?

Lestrade: I called you. Your game is over. I’ve just arrested your boy-friend.

Ida: What the devil do you mean?

Lestrade: We’ve got the jewels.

Ida: You, devilish Scotland-Yarder! (attacks Lestrade, trying to scratch his face badly.)

Lestrade: Take her away! Take her away! Oh, my face!

(Holmes and Watson tear her away from Lestrade.)

Lestrade (handcuffing Ida): You’ll only get yourself hurt, lady. Stand still, will you? Oh, my face!

Watson (to Lestrade): Can I help you, inspector?

Lestrade: Be so kind, doctor.

(Lestrade and Dr. Watson take Ida away.)

Dr. Adams: You are a magician, Mr. Holmes! How could you solve this problem?

Holmes: Don’t call this a problem, Dr. Adams. But I want to give a piece of advice to you both. Don’t keep your secret any longer.

Margaret: What secret?

Holmes (points to Dr. Adams): This is your husband, Lady Margaret.

Dr. Adams: Sir…

Holmes (to Lady Margaret): Am I right? I am, of course. Dr. Adams is your husband and you love him. And he loves you.

Dr. Adams: I’m just a provincial doctor.

Holmes: My advice is: stop keeping your secret.

Margaret: I can promise it, Mr. Holmes.

CURTAIN

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ THE ADVENTURE OF PROFESSOR BLACK

(based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s stories about Sherlock Holmes)

(Level I)

CHARACTERS: Mr. Sherlock Holmes, a private detective.

Dr. Watson, his friend and assistant.

Mrs. Hudson, their landlady.

Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock’s elder brother.

Pr. Black.

Mrs. Black.

Anny, the Blacks’ maid.

Burglar.

Students.

SCENE I

Holmes and Watson’s flat in Baker Street, 221-b. Sherlock Holmes, in his usual velvet dressing-gown, is sitting in an armchair near the fireplace, looking through morning newspapers and smoking his famous pipe. The other armchair is empty. Enter Dr. Watson.

Holmes (puts his finger-tips together): You have already returned from your trip, Watson? You look fine. I think you have put on seven and a half pounds since I saw you.

Watson (seats himself in the second armchair): Seven.

Holmes: Indeed, I should thought a little more. Just a trifle more, I fancy, Watson.

Watson: Have you a case on hand, Holmes?

Holmes: You know, my dear fellow, I cannot live without brainwork. So, yes, I have a case.

Watson: Can I take part in your investigation? (Rises up and goes to the window.)

Holmes: Why not? (Throws the newspapers away and sinks back into his armchair.) Nothing of interest in the papers. What do you see there in the street?

Watson (surprised): How do you know what I am doing? I believe you have eyes in the back of your head.

Holmes: I have a mirror in front of me over the mantelpiece. But tell me, Watson, what can you see in the street?

Watson (looking out of the window): Well, three or four passers-by, a postman, a boy… Why, Holmes, here comes a vicar! Is he your client?

Holmes: No, my friend. He is for Mrs. Hudson.

Watson: What do you mean, Holmes?

Holmes: Don’t you know? Of course, you don’t. Mrs. Hudson is very ill. Her days are numbered.

Watson: My God! It cannot be true!

Holmes: She has been ill since Monday. Doctors say she won’t see the dayout.

Watson: Good heavens! What terrible news! Poor, poor Mrs. Hudson! She’s a long-suffering woman. You are the very worst tenant in London, Holmes. Your untidiness, your addiction to music at strange hours, your occasional revolver practice within doors… And she’s always been so kind, so patient, so polite. Oh, Mrs. Hudson, Mrs. Hudson…

(While Watson is pronouncing his monologue, the vicar, he has just seen outside, enters the room. He and Holmes change their clothes. The vicar sits down in the armchair and Holmes leaves the room. Watson doesn’t notice it. At the end of the monologue he covers his face with his hands and starts crying. Enter Mrs. Hudson with their breakfast.)

Mrs. Hudson: Your tea is ready, gentlemen.

Watson (amazed): Mrs. Hudson?! It’s you?!

Mrs. Hudson: Of course, it’s me. Why are you looking at me like this, doctor?

Watson: Is it really you?

Mrs. Hudson: Who else? Do you expect to find Her Majesty the Queen serving breakfast for you?

Watson: And you are not dying?

Mrs. Hudson (severely): Not in the least. I am carrying out Mr. Holmes’s instructions, sir.

SCENE II

The same room. Watson turns to the man, sitting in Holmes’s armchair.

Watson (indignantely): It’s a bad, joke, Holmes.

Mycroft: You are quite right, doctor. My brother never can resist a touch of the dramatic. 1

Watson (very much surprised): But you are not Sherlock Holmes!

Mycroft (stands up): I agree with the first part of your statement: my name is not Sherlock, but I can’t agree with the second – I am Holmes, Mycroft Holmes, your friend’s elder brother.

Watson: But where is…

Mycroft: Sherlock? He is out.

Watson: But how on earth could he do it?

Mycroft: In vicar’s clothes.

Watson: So, where is the vicar?

Mycroft: I am the vicar. I mean, I was the vicar. Look here, doctor, the rooms are carefully watched and it was necessary for Sherlock to leave his flat without being noticed.

Watson: That means a case, I suppose?

Mycroft: That’s just the point. The case. You know his way when he is keen on a case.

Watson: I see.

Mycroft: He is following someone. Yesterday he was out as a workman looking for a job. This morning he was a sailor. And now he is a vicar.

Watson: But what is it all about?

Mycroft: Pr. Black was murdered in his house two days ago.

Watson: Dear me! That very Pr. Black?

Mycroft: Yes the famous Professor-Students’-Death. And Sherlock must find out who killed him. We have three versions. Sit down and listen. Version number one: Pr. Black was murdered by his wife.1

________

Pr. Black (comes back home from the University): Damn it! Where is my dinner? I’m hungry. (To his wife.) Don’t stand like this, be quick or I’ll teach you a lesson!

Mrs. Black: Good Lord! How can you talk in such a way?

Pr. Black (moving toward her): You dare utter a word! You are asking for trouble, love!

Mrs. Black (stepping back): Stop shouting at me. I will not stand it!

Pr. Black: Just you wait, my dear wife!

Mrs. Black: That’s the limit!

Mycroft (from his chair near the fireplace): Stop! Repeat your last words, please.

Mrs. Black: That’s the limit!

Mycroft: Thank you. (To Dr. Watson.) They led a cat and dog life. The next version: Pr. Blake was killed by one of his students.

________

Pr. Black (to the first student): Your answer is wrong. Get out!

1^st student (in a trembling voice): But, professor…

Pr. Black (getting heated): You don’t know anything, you good-for-nothing idiot! Scram! (Looks through the second student’s notes. To the second student.) Are you sure of it?

2^nd student (very frightened, but trying to be calm): Yes, sir.

Pr. Black (at the top of his voice): How stupid you are!

1^st student (from the door): May I ask…

Pr. Black (turns to him): Are you still here? I will tear you to pieces! Just let me at him! (Throws some books at him.)

Mycroft (to Watson): He wasn’t very popular with his students.

Watson: And what is the last version?

Mycroft: It might be the work of a burglar.

________

Pr. Black (comes from his bedroom in a long night-dress with a candle in his hand): What are you doing here, man?

Burglar (tries to escape from the house, still carrying a big bag with stolen things): Nothing special, sir.

________

Mycroft: Well, what do you think of it all, doctor?

Watson: It seems to me to be a dark business.

SCENE III

The same room. Dr. Watson and Mycroft Holmes are sitting in their armchairs and sipping their brandy. Mrs. Hudson enters followed by Holmes dressed in woman’s clothes and heavily veiled.

Mrs. Hudson: There is a lady to see Mr. Holmes.

Mycroft (to “the lady”): Come in, please.

Holmes (in a high voice): Is Mr. Holmes here?

Watson (stands up to meet “the lady”): No, madam; but I am acting for him. You can tell me any message you have for him.

Holmes: I know who killed Pr. Black. I know all about it.

Watson: Then tell me, and I shall let him know.

Holmes: It’s impossible. I want to speak to Mr. Holmes himself.

Watson: Pray, take a seat, madam. You should wait for him here.

Holmes: I have no time for waiting. Let me go, sir.

Watson (blocks “her” way): You have important information, and you must not walk off. We shall keep you, whether you like it or not, until Mr. Holmes returns.

Holmes: This is really intolerable! You can’t treat me in this fashion!

Watson: You will not have long to wait, madam. But you are shivering. May I offer you a cup of hot tea?

Holmes: No, thank you.

(Watson makes “her” sit down into Holmes’s armchair, so that the back of the chair hides Homles form Mycroft and the audience.)

Watson: Sit here by the fire, I ask you. (Comes up to Mycroft.) What a very attractive woman!

Mycroft (laughing): Ha, ha, ha! Is she? I don’t think so.

(While Watson and Mycroft are speaking, Holmes takes off the woman’s dress and stays in his usual clothes, but Watson doesn’t see it.)

Watson (to “the lady”): Do you mind my smoking, madam?

Holmes: Not a bit, (in his natural voice) but you might offer me a cigar too. (Stands up and goes forward.)

Mycroft: Ha, ha, ha!

Watson: Holmes! You are here! (Looking around.) But where is the lady?

Holmes (holding out a heap of black silk): Here is the lady.

Mycroft: You are a perfect actor, my boy. But how about your case? Have you got the key of the affair now?

Holmes: Better than that. I know who is the criminal.

Mycroft: His wife?

Holmes: No, their maid.

________

Pr. Black (calling the maid): Anny! Where are you? Come here at once, you lazy old cow! (Anny appears from the kitchen with a ladle in her hand.) Take my shoes and clean them.

Anny (quietly): I’ll clean them later. I’m cooking your dinner now.

Pr. Black: What? Do what I say or I’ll break your neck!

Anny: I’m fed up! (Hits him over the head with the ladle. Professor falls on the floor.)

________

Mycroft: Splendid, Sherlock. You have done it!

Watson: Are you going to hand the poor woman over to justice 1?

Holmes: Certainly not. I told the police that it had been an accident.

Watson: Dear Holmes, my good old friend, you’re the noblest man I’ve ever known!

Students’ voices from the open window: Gaudeāmus igĭtur

Juvĕnes dum sumus! 2

Mycroft: What is it, gentlemen?

Holmes: Pr. Black’s students are celebrating their freedom.

Students’ voices from the open window: Pr. Black died! Long live Pr. White!

Watson (indignantly): I think, it’s unworthy of civilized people, Holmes. Pr.Black was a cruel man, but he was a human being.

Mrs. Hudson (enters the room to serve their dinner): Excuse me, sir, but he wasn’t a human being, he was a rude animal. My late husband knew him perfectly well. And I know his poor wife. Such a kind lady! Well, gentlemen, your dinner is getting cold. (Goes out.)

Holmes: Mrs. Hudson is right as usual. Let’s do justice to the meal 3, friends.

CURTAIN

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