XIII. Discussion point.

Step A. Read the two letters and replies which were published in a teenager magazine. Do you agree or disagree strongly with anything that is said? Which reply do you agree with more? Why?

Should I lie to my parents?

Can you help me? I`ve fallen in love with a really nice boy I know at College. I`m 16, but I don`t have a lot of freedom – I`m Asian, and my family have very strict attitudes because of their religion. So I`m not allowed to go out in the evenings, and even if I did go out with this boy during College hours I couldn`t tell my parents, because they`d be really upset if they knew I was going out with a white boy. I feel bad about the situation, because I love my parents and they trust me, but this relationship is really important to me. What do you advise?

- I understand your problem, but I really don`t think you should go out with him. It`s all right for the two of you to be friends, but you mustn`t get yourself into a situation where you have to lie to your parents. Their religious beliefs are an important part of your family life, and it would be a mistake to go against the rules that they have made for you. If you did go out with the boy you would eventually get found out, and then the trust between you and your parents would be destroyed.

Should I ask her out?

I`m 16, and I really fancy a girl at my school. For the last few weeks I`ve been getting more and more attracted to her, and it`s turning into a very serious relationship. The trouble is that she`s Asian, and I know my parents would object if I asked her out. They are Catholics, and they would be shocked and angry if I got involved with a Muslim girl. I respect their beliefs, and I don`t want to go behind their backs, but I have to think of myself. What should I do?

- The first thing is to make absolutely sure of your own feelings. You haven`t been seeing this girl for a very long time, and there`s no point in upsetting your whole family for a relationship that might not last. But if you`re convinced that this is the real thing, then you must make sure what your parents` attitude is. Do you really know they wouldn`t let you go out with the girl? Maybe they will. Talk the situation over with them, calmly and openly – that way you can be certain what they feel instead of just guessing. If they do object, you will have to make a decision. You can either respect their beliefs and live the way they want, or you can do what you think is right. If you tell your parents firmly that you`re going to go out with the girl, then you won`t be going behind their backs, and you will be showing them that you have a right to follow your own opinions, even if these are very different from theirs.

Step B. Work in groups and discuss the questions below. Then share your ideas with the whole class.

1. Should children be free to choose their own boy/girlfriends at age 13? At age 16?

2. At what age should children be free to go out with their friends in the evenings?

3. Should there be different rules for boys and girls?

4. What advice would you give to a friend who wanted to marry somebody of a different race?

5. How much should children respect their parents` religious and cultural beliefs?

Writing essays.

1. Beauty and happiness: are they connected?

2. The famous family: do you think its members have similar problems or different from ours?

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