The Lord can reveal Himself only to a person who is submissive and who engages in His transcendental loving service.

(SB 3.6.10 P Creation of the Universal Form)

Here are some of the qualities of a great husband's great wife. Kardama Muni is great by spiritual qualification. Such a husband is called tejiyamsam, most powerful. Although a wife may be equal to her husband in advancement in spiritual consciousness, she should not be vainly proud. Sometimes it happens that the wife comes from a very rich family, as did Devahuti, the daughter of Emperor Svayambhuva Manu. She could have been very proud of her parentage, but that is forbidden. The wife should not be proud of her parental position. She must always be submissive to the husband and must give up all vanity. As soon as the wife becomes proud of her parentage, her pride creates great misunderstanding between the husband and wife, and their nuptial life is ruined. Devahuti was very careful about that, and therefore it is said here that she gave up pride completely. Devahuti was not unfaithful. The most sinful activity for a wife is to accept another husband or another lover. Canakya Pandita has described four kinds of enemies at home. If the father is in debt he is considered to be an enemy; if the mother has selected another husband in the presence of her grown-up children, she is considered to be an enemy; if a wife does not live well with her husband but deals very roughly, then she is an enemy; and if a son is a fool, he is also an enemy. In family life, father, mother, wife and children are assets, but if the wife or mother accepts another husband in the presence of her husband or son, then, according to Vedic civilization, she is considered an enemy. A CHASTE and faithful woman must not practice adultery--that is a greatly sinful act.

(SB 3.23.3 P Devahuti' s Lamentation)

A wife is always supposed to be submissive to her husband. Submission, mild behavior and subservience are qualities in a wife which make a husband very thoughtful of her. For family life it is very good for a husband to be attached to his wife, but it is not very good for spiritual advancement. Thus Krsna consciousness must be established in every home. If a husband and wife are very much attached to one another in Krsna consciousness, they will both benefit because Krsna is the center of their existence. Otherwise, if the husband is too much attached to his wife, he becomes a woman in his next life. The woman, being overly attached to her husband, becomes a man in her next life. Of course, it is an advantage for a woman to become a man, but it is not at all advantageous for the man to become a woman.

(SB 4.14.45 The Story of King Vena)

SB 4.28.19 P Puranjana Becomes a Woman in the Next Life

Cyavana Muni was very irritable, but since Sukanya had gotten him as her husband, she dealt with him carefully, according to his mood. Knowing his mind, she performed service to him without being bewildered.

PURPORT

This is an indication of the relationship between husband and wife. A great personality like Cyavana Muni has the temperament of always wanting to be in a superior position. Such a person cannot submit to anyone. Therefore, Cyavana Muni had an irritable temperament. His wife, Sukanya, could understand his attitude, and under the circumstances she treated him accordingly. If any wife wants to be happy with her husband, she must try to understand her husband's temperament and please him. This is victory for a woman. Even in the dealings of Lord Krsna with His different queens, it has been seen that although the queens were the daughters of great kings, they placed themselves before Lord Krsna as His maidservants. However great a woman may be, she must place herself before her husband in this way; that is to say, she must be ready to carry out her husband's orders and please him in all circumstances. Then her life will be successful. When the wife becomes as irritable as the husband, their life at home is sure to be disturbed or ultimately completely broken. In the modern day, the wife is never submissive, and therefore home life is broken even by slight incidents. Either the wife or the husband may take advantage of the divorce laws. According to the Vedic law, however, there is no such thing as divorce laws, and a woman must be trained to be submissive to the will of her husband. Westerners contend that this is a slave mentality for the wife, but factually it is not; it is the tactic by which a woman can conquer the heart of her husband, however irritable or cruel he may be. In this case we clearly see that although Cyavana Muni was not young but indeed old enough to be Sukanya's grandfather and was also very irritable, Sukanya, the beautiful young daughter of a king, submitted herself to her old husband and tried to please him in all respects. Thus she was a faithful and CHASTE wife.

(B 9.3.10 P The Marriage of Sukanya and Cyavana Muni)

Mother Sita was very submissive, faithful, shy and CHASTE, always understanding the attitude of her husband. Thus by her character and her love and service she completely attracted the mind of the Lord.

PURPORT

As Lord Ramacandra is the ideal husband (eka-patni-vrata), mother Sita is the ideal wife. Such a combination makes family life very happy. Yad yad acarati sresthas tat tad evetaro janah: whatever example a great man sets, common people follow. If the kings, the leaders, and the brahmanas, the teachers, would set forth the examples we receive from Vedic literature, the entire world would be heaven; indeed, there would no longer be hellish conditions within this material world.

(SB 9.10.55 The Pastimes of the Supreme Lord, Ramacandra)

Haridasa Thakura said, "I am the most sinful and lowest among men. Later I shall eat one palmful of prasada while waiting outside."

PURPORT

Although the Hindus and Muslims lived together in a very friendly manner, still there were distinctions between them. The Muslims were considered yavanas, or low-born, and whenever a Muslim was invited, he would be fed outside of the house. Although personally called by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and Nityananda Prabhu to take prasada with Them, still, out of great humility, Haridasa Thakura submitted, "I shall take the prasada outside of the house." Although Haridasa Thakura was an exalted Vaisnava accepted by Advaita Acarya, Nityananda Prabhu and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, nonetheless, in order not to disturb social tranquillity, he humbly kept himself in the position of a Muslim, outside the jurisdiction of the Hindu community. Therefore he proposed to take prasada outside the house. Although he was in an exalted position and equal to other great Vaisnavas, he considered himself a papistha, a most sinful man, and adhama, the lowest among men. Although a Vaisnava may be very much advanced spiritually, he keeps himself externally humble and submissive.

(Madhya 3.63 Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu' s Stay at the House of Advaita Acarya)

'Srimati Radharani's twenty-five chief transcendental qualities are: (1) She is very sweet. (2) She is always freshly youthful. (3) Her eyes are restless. (4) She smiles brightly. (5) She has beautiful, auspicious lines. (6) She makes Krsna happy with Her bodily aroma. (7) She is very expert in singing. (8) Her speech is charming. (9) She is very expert in joking and speaking pleasantly. (10) She is very humble and meek. (11) She is always full of mercy. (12) She is cunning. (13) She is expert in executing Her duties. (14) She is shy. (15) She is always respectful. (16) She is always calm. (17) She is always grave. (18) She is expert in enjoying life. (19) She is situated at the topmost level of ecstatic love. (20) She is the reservoir of loving affairs in Gokula. (21) She is the most famous of submissive devotees. (22) She is very affectionate to elderly people. (23) She is very submissive to the love of Her friends. (24) She is the chief gopi. (25) She always keeps Krsna under Her control. In short, She possesses unlimited transcendental qualities, just as Lord Krsna does.'

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"One should chant the holy name of the Lord in a humble state of mind, thinking oneself lower than the straw in the street. One should be more tolerant than a tree, devoid of all sense of false prestige and ready to offer all respects to others. In such a state of mind one can chant the holy name of the Lord constantly." A Vaisnava is always tolerant and submissive like trees and grass. He tolerates insults offered by others, for he is simply interested in chanting the holy name of the Lord without being disturbed.

(ntya 3.207 The Glories of Srila Haridasa Thakura)

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