I. Polylogue Discourse Modelling

Pair/Group Discussion

Prepare for an extended class discussion of the following letters presented by the Guardian “Parents’ Forum” column entitled “Am I wrong to say ‘no’ to mixed-gender sleepovers for 14-year-old daughter?” For more precise instructions on discussion, see Guided Discussion Techniques (Unit 3, Integrated Discourse Skills Development), p.131.

Individual Work: Make a detailed study of the texts below and be ready for a group discussion on the problem in accordance with the above-mentioned guidelines.

B. W, mother, Hastings, East Sussex

This seems to be the new “must-do” for 14-year-olds – my daughter has just received a similar invitation. She seemed relieved when I said “no”, as she was not entirely comfortable with the idea. Of course you are right to put your foot down. Whatever are the host parents thinking of? That is assuming that they know. And even if they are present, it is a recipe for disaster: if the enjoyment of smuggled-in alcohol and/or drugs accompanies the huddling together under duvets watching questionable videos, I don't "need to spell out what might ensue.

Give your daughter the face-saving excuse that Mum says no and fake squarely on the chin any taunts of “party pooper” – you probably won't be the only one.

Your daughter will have enough moral dilemmas to face alone when she is older. At least give her your protection while she is still, after all, a child.

Helen Sharman, mother, Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire

Relax. There will be no orgy – I speak from the experience of a minimum of two sleepovers a month for the past six years, and still counting. Left to their own devices, teenagers listen to music and talk till the small hours.

They then fall asleep wherever they are, usually the floor, so buy your daughter a washable sleeping bag. Perhaps consider hosting a sleepover yourself. But don’t hover, or try to send them to bed at 10.30 pm. Leave them to it. Show them trust and respect and they will repay you in kind. Teaching yourself and your daughter to handle these events responsibly is a much better option than becoming a late-night taxi driver for the next four years.

Cindy Gillen, mother and former primary teacher, Suffolk

You sound like a concerned and sensible-mother, certainly not someone who is being “too protective”. The fact is that children in their early teens (and I have raised four of them) still need guidance and discipline and by saying “no” you are providing her with this.

Clare Abbott, mother, Oxford

With prior notice we were quite happy for any number of our sons’ friends to sleep in the lounge (on the floor or the two pull-out sofa beds). At least all the parents knew where their children were and that we would be upstairs.

Our only problem was trying to sleep over the noise. I cannot imagine any of the first, shy steps of sexual experimentation taking place in front of the gang.

Briony Wilkes, daughter, Cambridge

I am 18 years old – somebody’s one-time 14-year-old daughter. At this influential age I, too, was asked to attend, mixed-sex sleepovers, and was duly allowed to attend by my parents. This liberal-minded attitude on their part showed me that there was/is nothing wrong with being good, close friends with males, without there being any need for any sexual contact.

At 14, I doubt that your daughter craves anything more than friendship with the boys who will be there. Indeed, you should be delighted that your daughter feels able to tell you, and even to ask your permission. This suggests that you have a close relationship with her, and one in which your daughter feels able to discuss such matters with you, her mother.

Friends of mine who were taught that it was “naughty” or “abnormal” to mix with the opposite sex by their parents were the ones who had to lie.

They were also the ones whose parents knew nothing of their lives, other than what their children led them to believe. What is more, it is those parents who are now the ones who are effectively shut out of their children’s lives. It is a part of growing up," maturing, and realising that men are not to be seen as anything more than friends, in the primary instance.

Audrey Kelly, grandmother, Poole, Dorset

It might be worth bearing in mind that “the worst” can happen during a walk in the park on a Sunday afternoon – and who would prohibit that?

II. Monologue Discourse Modelling

Compose a rendering of the article Lower the Age of Consent (Text B) and rehearse it for class presentation. For more precise instructions on rendering techniques, see Article Rendering Guidelines (Unit 2, Integrated Discourse Skills Development), p.80.

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