"Sure.. ooh dude that one looks good... but seriously.. even though they may not be BLOOD related... they're still siblings aren't hey?"
"That's why he's a crazy b@stard. Remember how weird he was in middle school? >_< Argh but just thinking about it gives me the creeps.. if my nuna-"
"Stop right there."
The person who put an end to their conversation was Taesung oppa's low voice... with a hint of anger..
"Oppa.."
"What'd you say? You talking to us?"
Their footsteps walked toward where we were..
"Nono.. sorry, he was talking to me.."
I tried to talk in the most respective way possible yet i guess to them, oppa's words pissed them off.
"No really.. what'd you say to us?"
"Stop.right.there."
"Stop what huh? hey.. listen to what this b@stard's saying.. you think you're some great person? it's a free country, i can do anything i want."
"Hey.. let's just go.. pretend you stepped on dung or whatever.."
I guess his friend tried to smooth his anger and as i breathed a sigh of relief..
"Huh? What, you suddenly deaf now? Am i forbidden to BREATHE, too??? huh? answer me!"
"If you wanna live a few more years.. get out."
The two begun to laugh in disbelief... why.. why do these things always happen to you oppa... is it cuz of me...?
"Try and hit me! huh? yeah? let's see how strong your punch is b!tch! That's right, you're afraid aren't you? huh? huh?"
Before the guy's words could stop, a loud BAM rang throughout the store along with someone falling onto ground with a thud.
"Oppa!!!"
When i swung my arms with a shriek, i felt oppa's back... then.. thank God.. it's not oppa on the floor.........wait.. NONONONO!!
"Oppa, don't.. please.. you're here to earn money, remember? you wanted to go to korea!"
As if deaf to my shrieks and shouts, Oppa was now on the floor fighting them violently... wait.. it was more like he was beating them up for I heard groaning and painful shouting..
"What the fcuk do you know huh...... what the fcuk do you know..... i told you to get out if you don't wanna die."
The fight begun to continue for more than 10 minutes... even when i hugged oppa's back trying to get him off the guy, Oppa just continued to fight with me on his back.... sounds of materials falling onto the floor... and shouts of pleas the guy was making also rang in my ears.... the other friend seemed to have run away..
A few minutes later, the store door opened along with murmurs and shouts by older townsmen.... finally.. oppa got off the guy, breathing heavily..
Before oppa could attack him again, i heard the door swish and the guy exiting out the store.. -__- along with tsk-tsks and low mumbles as the townsmen went out the store as well... in the midst of the quietness, i crouched down and begun picking up the materials dropped onto the floor..
"Why'd you do it oppa... I know how good of a fighter you are so stop... You remember why you wanted to work in the first place right...?"
"You think i'm crazy, too? Then... I'm a crazy, mental b@stard huh?... is it so wrong to love...? Would it be better if i died? huh?"
"........What are you talking about..?"
".........."
I think I know now... even.. even though i asked back in a plain voice.. I think I know why Oppa was so mad at what the guys said... Why oppa's always so sad even when he's smiling and laughing... and why he needs to hold the special spot in his heart for her..
You like your sister huh oppa.... hah.... why won't you give me even a portion in your heart to stay in... soon, oppa crouched down on the floor as well..
"I wanna go to korea.."
"Huh?"
"What do you do when you want to see but can't?"
You've just made me smaller oppa...
"If i can't see when i want to?"
"Yeah.."
"See.. my mom's in Heaven.. and whenever I miss her and want to see her crazily.... ^-^"
"Yeah..."
"I open the window and shout her name ten times.. you know what else? She would always visit me in my dreams after i fall asleep..."
"open the window? Do i have to look at the sky?"
"I wouldn't know since i can't see.. but I think it'd be more.. romantic? ^O^"
"Okay.. ^-^"
That night.. Taesung oppa's shouts vibrated my windows, allowing a tear to fall from my eyes..
"Chung Hankyung! >_< Chung Hankyung! >_< Chung Hankyung, Chung Hankyung... Cuhng Hankyung, Chung Hankyung, Chung Hankyung, Chung Hankyung, Chung Hankyung, Chung.. Hankyung.."
Chung Hankyung...... and Chung taesung... I'll pray that you and Hankyung oppa could meet again...
Two months later.. at about 7 o'clock.. I opened my eyes wide at the thought of seeing oppa again.. The last two months consisted of me following oppa to the store everyday after a light jog with my dad... Feeling upto a little surprise, I packed a chicken sandwich and exited out the door before Dad could get up.. -__- sorry dad.. T__T
Even though there hasn't been much improvement the last two months between oppa and I.. I was somewhat satisfied that Oppa was now freely laughing and smiling at me... even the fact that he let me have a small peek through his heart was overwhelming enough.. ^-^
In the store..
"Oppa. ^O^ Look who's here~ ^O^"
".........."
"Oppa?"
Regulary, Oppa greets me with 'Food!' but today.. for some reason.. the store was dead quiet.. -__- setting down the bag on the counter, I called out oppa's name in various places but I was unable to hear even a small squeak out of oppa.. nor smell him anywhere..
"Oppppaaa >_< Where are you! >_<"
Oh my gosh! What if someone takes my sandwichh.. ahhh >_< I spent over two hours on that thing..! TOT I quickly walked back toward the counter and stopped dead in my tracks at a familiar cough... A low painful groan rang in my ears from the counter along with several coughs.
"Oppa....?"
A suffocating cough was my reply and when i slowly made my way, groping, i felt something liquid warm on my fingers.
"AHHH! -0-"
"Hey, that's my juice.. don't touch it... I was about to clean it up.."
It was oppa..
"You were here the whole time huh! -0- why didn't you say so!"
"When did i ever.."
Oppa roughly patted my hands with a handkerchief.
"Do you have a cold, oppa? Ooh.. is it the flu? It sounds contagious.."
"A mosquito bit me. -__-"
"Why would you cough when a mosquito bites you?! -0-"
"How should i know?! I bet it was a sick mosquito! -0-"
"TOT why are you shouting at me!! T_T"
"Go wash your hands.."
"Why?"
"I can't seem to wipe the juice.. the bathroom's around the corner.. -0-"
"Gimmie that.. i'll wipe it off myself.."
"I told you, it won't wipe.. go wash it with soap."
"Okay.."
I wonder what's up with him.. -__- he better not run away while i'm gone! -__- a bit suspicious, i let the cool water run through my hands when..
"Oh my.. why are your hands so bloody?!"
A scared tremble was heard from my left side..
"....?"
"Are you okay?"
"Huh? Are you talking to me?"
"That's not blood on your hands? O_O"
"This? I heard it was juice.. why?"
"Oh really? Hehe okay.. it must be tomato juice then. ^O^ hoho. ^O^"
After murmuring those words, the lady exited out the door. Blood? Tch.. Oppa wouldn't ever cough blood.. Look at how perky and healthy he is! -__-
"Oppa! ^O^ i washed my hands! -0-"
"munchmunch -0-"
"Whatchu eating? ^O^"
"-0- munchmunch"
"Your eating my sandwich huh? -__-"
Several more chomps and munching... along with several gulps.. -___- Oppa was eating while letting out 'ok's in a happy voice. -__- he never ate my sandwich as happily as today.............. hrm.. i wonder if it's because he's getting his payment tomorrow... -__-
"It's good huh? -0-"
"No.-0-"
"-__- then why were you eating it! -__-"
"I'm not. -___-"
Oppa threw the bag aside... -__- an empty bag...
"Kek"
"-__-..........."
"You're so cute oppa! >_< sososo cuteee.. >__< If i was your nuna, I'd love you to.............."
"........."
"Do you need any help...?"
The atmosphere had suddenly turned icy cold... Taesung oppa was silent... and until two later that day, I helped out oppa as best i could and walking back home.. ^O^ I wondered if i could be happier.. T^T
"Oh yeah! Oppa ^O^ You get paid tomorrow huh! ^O^"
"Get away from me. Don't look like you're close to me. -0-"
"Tchh.. T^T You're so mean oppa.. you're not gonna buy me anything?!"
"Who are you. -__-"
"T_T then i won't bring you lunch!'
"Anything cheap. -__-"
"You'll actually buy me something? O_O"
"If i have money left over. -__-"
"Then! ^O^ Let's go to the ocean! ^O^"
"........Ocean?"
"Yep. Oceannnnn~ Let's go together!"
"After i come back from Korea."
"Really? Seriously, you'll go???"
"Yeah.. let's go. ^-^"
"When are you going to Korea?"
"Tomorrow."
"..........oh.. ^-^ When are you coming back then? -0-"
"After a week.. I'll kidnap raccoon kid and Gi-King for you. (Gi-King-> Wun)"
"Raccoon kid? what is that?"
"what should i wear? hmm... i never tried black hair before so when i dye my hair black girls will be like 'OH MY GOSH! -0- Oppa that hair looks SO cute!' hm.. then HAewon will get jealous. -0- yep black it is... dye dye dye.."
-__- Oppa was murmuring nonstop happily.
"^O^ I should borrow a car from the airport and go to my highschool and say 'Guys! hyung's here! -0-' then! I'll go to nuna.. Man, the gongju girls will chase after me like some rinosaurs after seeing my hair though. -0-"
"You're really that happy? ^-^"
"Yep yep. The raccoon kid liked eel masks the best... hm.. know where i could get a mask around here? -0-"
"Eel mask...? -__- i never heard of that bef-"
Oppa suddenly stopped in his tracks.
"Go in by yourself."
"Huh?"
"Go in without me.."
"Why? What's wrong?"
"I forgot i had to do something... go hurry.."
"What'd you forget? Let's go together then~"
"I told you to go in!"
Oppa suddenly shouted loudly. -0- Not used to oppa's shouts, I recoiled slightly, surprised..
"Okay okay.. you didn't need to shout you kn-"
Oppa turned around in the middle of my sentence and begun walking the way we came.
"Oppa, when are you gonna come home?"
At that precise moment... vroom vroom.. honk honk.. I heard obnoxious engines of a motorcycle closing in onto us along with mocking laughs and insults.. Bewildered, I calculated in my head of about how many motorcycles there were and realized there had to be more than 10.. then, Oppa shouted brightly at me among the crowd..
"Nayoon, these are oppa's friends.. Imma go take a drive with them so don't wait up, aight?"
"When'd you meet these friends..? -__- hello.. ^O^"
I bowed my head toward the direction I heard the obnoxious sounds and frowned slightly at another set of laughter. -__-.. when did i hear this before... something seemed terribly wrong... then.. totally opposite from his previous voice, oppa told me in a dark, low tone.
"Go in Lee Nayoon. Don't make me tell you again.. please.. go in..."
"Pleading now eh? Okay i will. O_O I'll come smack you with a spoon if you go picking up girls with your friends! ^O^ come by my house okay? Let's go buy the mask together~ ^O^"
"Yeah. ^O^ Let's go together.. ^O^"
"Okie ^O^ bye~ Oppa's friends, too~ Nice meeting you! ^O^"
Forcing myself to turn around and walk away from the weird feeling I had among the crowd of motorcycles, I walked toward my house when my heart froze at a loud yell mixed with cuss words.
"b!tch Get on already before i go down and pound yo @ss in! I'll tie that b!tch over there along with you and throw you down the ocean aight? Get on already!"
..........? Shocked, I turned around at the familiar voice of... Ahn Jonghan's...
"Oppa!!"
Panicked, I shouted loudly.. then..
"Let's go buy that mask in a few hours~"
Oppa hopped onto the motorcycle as if nothing was wrong and.. the weird sounds of the engine slowly faded away.. Even though i knew it was useless, i ran toward where oppa and I walked from..
and.......... reaching my limit, i collapsed onto the floor and begun to bawl hysterically with a mixture of fear and doubt.. as if finding my old self.... I can't save oppa just by staying here! Biting my lower lips, I quickly ran toward Taesung oppa's house and after feeling my way toward the door... I took a deep breath and pounded on the door, unable to control my shaking fists..
"Grandma!! It's me, Nayoon! Grandma... is anyone home?!?!? GRANDMA!!"
Even when i could hear the walls vibrating ever so slightly at my constant pounding and shouts.. no sign of life greeted me.. plop.. plop... a raindrop fell onto my head.. along with another.. and another.... while I collapsed on the front steps in despair once again... and... realizing that I'm the only one who could save oppa as of this moment, I quickly sprinted toward my house.
"DAD! DAD!!!"
"Dad...? Anyone home...? please.. anyone........... dad.... dad..."
A solemn silence welcomed me when i stepped into our house.... Rain was slowly tapping.. then pounding onto our windows.. While i slowly let go of the receiver after a many signals that wouldn't go through...
If... i were to call the police... then..... I know better than anyone that.. because Ahn jonghan was reported to the police numerous times.. this would be no different than the previous times where the police department would just laugh it off......... for their house hold onto that unfair power..
i... i thought he forgot.... but i guess he continued watching from afar for revenge.... even if oppa might be some super hero.. he can't beat up ALL of his friends.. there had to be more than 10!!!
Lee Nayoon, what are you doing here... his life is in danger because of YOU! why are you being so weak.... biting my lower lips in an attempt to swallow back my tears, i stepped out into the pouring rain.. and slowly... then quickly ordered my feet toward Ahn Jonghan's house..
If you think i'll forgive you.. you're so very wrong.. if i see even a scratch on taesung oppa... hah... you're so dead... do you have any idea how oppa's suffering right now... do you know.. how much pain he's in..... do you know... that he forces on a smile because of my stubbornness when living day by day would be hard enough for him...?! if.. if a tear fall from his eyes cuz of you... i won't forgive you....... i won't...
both of my legs begun to tremble incredulously and after feeling my way toward the doorbell, i pressed onto it numerous times... only to receive silence as an answer..
"B*stard!! Come out already!!! Face me like a man, why don't you!! Heuk... come out... please... give oppa back to me.........heuk.. do you.. do you know how much he wanted to go back to korea.... heuk... DO YOU!..... oppa... heuk................oppa...."
Buried under the thundering drops of rain, my legs slowly gave up causing me to fall onto the wet floor in despair... feeling my lips trembling incredulously, I slowly brought my hands to cheeks, only to find it cold while my hands didn't have any feelings left in them... hair glued onto my face, I realized that at least two hours probably passed already... sunny... why didn't I think of that... she'll.. She HAS to help me...
Slowly bring myself up; I took a step only to fall back down lifelessly once again... Then............. The sounds of thundering motorcycles arose a panic within me while I groped around frantically, trying to see if anyone was coming my way... then.. one motorcycle skidded to a halt, not to far away from me...
..........and.. soon.. the voice I dreaded more than anything soon poisoned my ears..
"Fcuk.. ARGHH MY FOOT!!.. stupid b*tch!! Arghhh.."
"You aight? Is it broken?"
"If it was, this b*tch would've been dead... argh help me get him off... "
Ahn Jonghan's crew.. then... taesung oppa....?? Bringing up a courage, I begun to take small steps toward them when i felt rapid footsteps running my way...
then...
"Huh? Fcuk! he's getting away! GET HIM!!!"
I heard Ahn Jonghan's booming shout instructing his friends while the person who had been running toward me quickly grabbed my hands and ran toward our house, limping slightly..
"AHHH!! WHO ARE YOU!! LET GO!!!...!! LET GO!!"
Ignoring my shrieks and yells, the guy continued to run.... from our back i heard the engine of the motorcycles turn on once again.. and was soon chasing after us in a fast speed... The guy who had been holding onto my wrists roughly pulled me behind a gigantic tree... and assuming that we had continued running, Ahn jonghan's crew was slowly disappearing from where we hid.. reaching my limit, i slid down onto the floor.. causing the other person to fall down with me..
Then... after bringing his hands onto my cold face... the person pulled me into a tight hug... this... this is oppa isn't it........ oppa..
"It's you oppa.. huh?"
Silence...
"Oppa, OPPA!"
Quickly sitting up, i brought my hands to touch his soaked hair while my eyes widened at feeling the hot liquid on his hands............... it was blood..
"Oppa!"
Taesung oppa quickly covered my panicked mouth... His one hand hugged me tightly by the shoulders while the other was covering my mouth... and after panting roughly, oppa let out a small sigh.
"Eeeeuupp"
"Stay still.. you'll.. freeze to death... i'm not doing this cuz i feel anything toward you... aight.."
After being reasurred that it was oppa by his voice, the tears i had been holding back quickly streamed down my face as i shouted in anger..
"How do you even THINK about that in this situation!! Did i ask you to hug me cuz i was cold??? Why would you care if i freeze to death huh?!??! You told me you're a superhero!! Well.. superhero my butt!! Look at you..... look....."
Unable to finish my sentence, i begun to weep sorrowfully in oppa's embrace... Oppa wiped away the blood on my hands with his wet sleeves and laughed as if nothing had happened..
"I got three guys down! Ooh.. hey your head's steaming.."
"Oppa!"
When i forced my head up to scorn him, Oppa heaved a big sigh and said,
"Whew.. Nuna told me not to fight in america... ahhh i broke another promise.."
"How could you think about that??? Get up, oppa.. let's go to the hospital... please?"
"No..... i'm okay.. really..."
"Liar... you're bleeding..."
"It's not mine.."
"..........you're limping, too.."
"........"
Oppa continued to hug me without a word... Lee nayoon.. you're so horrible.. how could you feel so happy about being hugged by oppa when he's in so much pain... heavy footsteps were suddenly coming our way causing me to hug oppa tighter in fear... the blood that had been on his collars left its imprints on my cheeks....
"Oppa!"
How could you laugh... how could you pretend nothing happened when you were so hurt....
"Nayoon!"
I, then, realized that the footsteps belonged to my dad... he sounded surprised and shocked... with those words, Taesung oppa brusquely stood up and walked away...
"Oppa! where are you going! oppa!!"
"Nayoon! look at you!!! You're burning!! Oh honey, let's get you inside!"
Dad shook me from the position of me sprawled on the ground... Even i continued to plead for oppa, dad just put me on his back while speed walking toward our house..
"No dad... Oppa's more hurt than i am.... please.. help him and not me.... dad.... please..."
Oppa Oppa.... please don't go... I beg you............ no... God, I beg you... don't take oppa anywhere... please... just... just let him remain by my side.... please............ anyone but oppa....
"Nayoon.. honey... wake up... Nayoon.."
"Oppa?"
I snapped my body to sit on the bed and realized that i was in my bed.... seeing how a little bit of light fills my darkness, i guess it was morning..
"Are you okay? Thank goodness your fever's down.. you think you can eat this soup?"
"Dad.. what about oppa..."
"Who, Taesung?"
"Oppa... Where is he...."
"Probably at the hospital or his house considering the doctor came by late last night.. Stop getting yourself in trouble, nayoon!"
Throwing my blankets aside, I jumped down my bed and ran toward our front door.
"Lee Nayoon! Where do you think you're going!"
Dad's anxious voice..
"I'll come RIGHT back after i talk to oppa!"
After taking a deep breath, I was about to press on the doorbell of oppa's house when something heavy fell from the windows with a SLAM!
Surprised, I looked up and felt as if someone was climbing down oppa's window..
"It's you oppa huh..."
"......you okay?"
"Where are you going oppa... you're hurt.. go back..."
"Korea.."
"are you crazy? You're running away aren't you!"
"......don't tell anyone.."
"No oppa.. i won't let you.. please let's just go back.. It's not late to go to korea a month from now... just.. just when you get better.. we'll go.. yeah? sounds like a plan?"
I spread my arms apart and blocked oppa's way..
"I can't wait any longer.... what should i do nayoon... if... if i delay one more day... I have to go now.. stay healthy.. okay..?"
"You can't go oppa... how... you're still hurt... i can't let you.. i WON'T let you! please.. go back...."
"Move Lee Nayoon.."
Oppa's voice had a hint of anger within it..
"No, I won't.. i'll call grandma for you."
"............i can't see nuna after today... i won't be able to okay.... so i have to go today...... so.. move..."
Oppa continued to mumble words i did not understand..
"What are you talking about... why can't you see her after today... your nuna's probably sleeping at her house right now..okay? so stop being stubborn and go back in... please, i'm begging you... your health is more important oppa..."
"Nothing else is more... important than her.............okay? so move"
After pushing me aside without any hesitation... or emotion.. oppa's footsteps slowly... and gradually begun to part from me...
"Your nuna!! Won't be pleased by the fact that you're running around when you're so hurt! If.... if you really love her.. and if you really care for her.. just stay.... if you really love her... then just watch her from afar..... if you really love her..........."
Like how i watch you from afar.. you already know you'll end up crying.. so stop being so stubborn..
"Can't i even say goodbye at a unwanted love....? Do i always have to watch her from afar...?? It's not wrong to say goodbye right...."
"..........say goodbye...? what do you mean by that..."
"You should move on for your sake... it'll only be painful for you to start something you won't finish... i'll tell you how.. don't appear in front of me.. and don't think about me.. just think i'm dead.."
"How can you say that... how can you be so cruel...."
Leaving my dumbfounded self behind, Oppa continued to walk away...
"and i don't think i could go to the ocean with you... sorry..."
".......hah..."
"If you really want to.. go by yourself.... cuz i don't plan to."
"Why do you think i wanted to go to the ocean even when i can't see............ i wanted to go because you would be going with me..... are you that dense.... or... are you pretending that you don't know.."
"I'll bring the ocean to your eyes so go look at it yourself. Don't appear in front of me ever again... i won't either..."
Several tears slowly dampened my shoes as oppa's breathing... and scent.. now completely disappeared... soon, i was sobbing more than i was last night...
Why does it feel like i won't hear from him ever again.... i forced myself to draw him in my mind when i was unclear of a human's features... it's weird how i feel pity more than anger toward oppa...
of course it wasn't despair.. nor was it me snapping the thoughts of oppa shut... but... BUT.. for some reason... the thought of having to let oppa go struck me... after drawing his face once again... i staggered back home....
putting the music to full volume, i buried my head into my arms and sobbed painfully with my door shut when my door slammed open with dad's urgent voice calling me.
"Nayoon! Where's taesung?!!"
".........? =_= what?"
I raised my puffy eyes slowly...
"Nayoon..."
It was grandma... her voice was trembling ever so sadly..
"Grandma?"
"You know where taesung went don't you....."
"..........why? What's wrong with oppa, grandma?"
"Taesung..........Taesung...."
Grandma begun to pant heavily without being able to finish her sentence.. while dad finished her sentence for me..
"After taesung got beat up by those kids, his disease got worse... he wasn't fully recovered yet.... and taesung had an appointment for another surgery tomorrow but.. just.. disappeared! You know don't you, Lee nayoon. Tell me this instant."
"...............disease..??? What.. what are you talking about, dad?? grandma.. what's this about a disease??!??! Taesung... Taesung oppa was sick...?!?!??! He.......... hah......... he was sick???"
Grandma's breathing became more rougher instead of a reply... the puzzling words oppa told me suddenly flashed in my mind.... suddenly, the front door slammed open at that precise moment...
"Grandma!!! Come down quickly!! We got a phonecall from the hospital!! Your grandson, Taesung's at the hospital!"
Kevin who lived next door to us, shouted frantically... Dad quickly helped grandma out the door, with me chasing after them...
On the way to the hospital..
Among the deep silence, my thoughts were one hundred percent dedicated toward Taeung oppa... It's unbelievable.. I mean... he would always talk so brightly... his voice could literally put you on the clouds.. and... and... my oppa.. he's.. WHAT? Hah.. it's all a joke right.. i mean.. i must be dreaming.. how.. how could he be..... I fell into a state of shock and denial as i continued to sway back and forth while shaking my head furiously..
but... in the hospital room... a barely audible whisper...
"Huh? Everyone's here huh? Grandma, you crying? Don't.... Your mascara will run~"
This was the first time I heard Taesung oppa's hoarse voice...
"How could you.... i..... you just had to until the very end huh........."
Grandma was unable to finish her sentence and begun to bawl like a little kid after she had been 'disciplined' by her father... dad just exited out the door silently...
"Oppa.. you're sucha dumbo..."
".........yeah.......... I am huh.."
"Why didn't you tell me..."
".......It was so embarassing fainting like that at the airport... ^-^ People looking at me like i'm some monkey.. -__- watch if i ever go back.. -__-"
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