"Nuna. ^-^ long distance phone calls are expensive. I wrote my email address and my screen name on the note so add me. It's getting late so you should go to bed.. and...."
Taesung's voice was slowly fading...
"sweet dreams.... and tell Dareum and Jooho for me that i'm sorry.... and Nuna.. you promised, right?"
"........"
"That thing... the promise.. when we're born again........ you.... promised, right?"
"yeah...yeah...."
"Heh... okay then ^-^ haha i knew you'd promise"
taesung was silent once again..
"sweet dreams then, nuna... Grandma's bored now."
"Taesung, wait!!! wait taesung.. don't hang up!! wait!!"
"Don't cry anymore nuna... sweet dreams.."
doo doo doo... the phone call ended... i... hoped... and dreamed that this was all a dream... but... to believe this is a dream.. these tears that were rolling down my cheeks were crying out sadly too much...
if... i were to meet him again.... several years from now.... i'll tell him.... "How have you been?"...........i should start practicing.... i should be able to talk to him without bursting into tears..... since that'll be the only way Taesung'll be happy....
A Wolf's Attraction-115
For several days after Taesung's departure, i lied on my bed without eating, drinking, or talking... Dareum had also disappeared after hearing about Taesung's disapperance.... and i haven't heard from Taesung after our last phone call... i dialed his number numerous times, desperately wanting.. and needing to hear his voice.. yet Grandma would always tell me that he wasn't home..
Haewon would come by our house everyday at 6 o'clock. He opened my bedroom door wide with the foods i like as he have always done for the last few days..
"Hey sick-o~ i'm here!"
"........"
noticing that the fruits and food that he had brought me last night was left untouched, next to my bed... he shouted in anger.
"You didn't eat anything today, again?!?!?"
"........"
"How long are you gonna keep starving yourself??"
"........."
"argh!@()*#()!@ Chung Hankyung! Don't you ever think about me?"
"..........."
"I beg you... please... just... let's eat."
Haewon brought a cup upto my dried lips..
"You'll regret me dumping you cuz you don't take care of your lips!! -__-"
scoff.. through my lifeless smile, he stuffed a piece of bread into my mouth..
"swallow! -0- good girl! -0- swallow!!!"
Haewon lightly patted my back..
"Thanks haewon.."
"You should be... and if you really are, come back to school."
"Haewon."
"Yes'm?"
"I'm... moving back to Gongju tomorrow."
".....what?"
"i thought it'd be better for me to tell you in advance.. i already talked with mom... after visiting by your school... i'll-"
"Hah... you..."
"I'm sorry Haewon... i want to go back to a place where i won't be traumatized by horrible memories... if i stay here... then... taesung........"
"Then... what's my existence to you."
"You.... are a special person..."
"and if i won't let you go..."
"don't....."
"Fcuk.. what do you want me to do then... huh? you tell me..."
".........."
"I won't ask for anything else... I won't ask you to come back to me.. so just stay where i could see you... i won't ask you to smile or even to talk to me... i won't ask you to hold hands with me either... just... stay where i could see you... please?"
"I don't think i could look at... or... be looked at as of right now Haewon.. try to understand me.."
"you should know..."
".........."
"I won't let you go."
Haewon silently turned around and slammed the door shut and disappeared... that night.. i spent the many hours just staring off into space...
For the first time in a week, i stepped into the grounds of our school with mom... and standing in front of the classroom, i bid a goodbye softly...
"Bye... it was fun getting to know you guys... i won't forget you.."
I saw MyungGwan with his head hung low... Jooin was giving me the death glare... while Minsoon shrieked out in agony..
"You think you'll have some giddy time after betraying us like that?!?!"
while she wiped away several crystal clear tears.. and to her shout, the teacher fake coughed and commented..
"Hem.. minsoon, you should wish her good luck.. -__- Hankyung... Since you're sweet and fun to be with, you'll be able to make it.. I'll miss you as well. ^-^"
"Bye... Mr. Lee... and... guys... thanks.."
For the last time, i skimmed around the class.. and fearful that i might start crying if i were to make eyecontact with Minsoon, i hung my head low and followed my mom out the door..
"If you don't call............. if you don't..... i'll kill you!! T_T"
and that was the last words i heard before descending down the stairs...
"You sure it's all right to not let Dareum know about this? Jooho doesn't know either... i don't know if this really is the right thing to do..."
"i'll call when i get there..."
"well... i don't know how dareum'll take it... whew... i don't know... i apologize."
".........."
Mom stared at my face once more and turned her head.. Mom... Haewon... i'm sorry.. i'm really sorry... i'll remember to visit... i promise.. of course i'll come back to see you dummy... so..............
"Oh.. Lord.. what is that?!"
At mom's scream in disbelief, i lifted my head up slowly..
Infront of the gates... were... hundreds.... of sophmore guys blocking the way... even a leaf wouldn't have escaped out the door through those guys... noticing mom and my presence, they tightened their space more... now.. all i could see were fields and fields of blackness only... hah.... Bahn Haewon... you're incredible...
A Wolf's Attraction-116
"What.. in Heaven's name are they doing?!? move out of the way!"
Mom stepped toward the sophmores, gasping..
"You can't leave, if Nuna disappears than we'll be beaten to death..!!"
A broad shouldered guy, complained while scratching the back of his head.
"What is he talking about, CHung Hankyung?"
Mom asked me while i hung my head back low.. Annoyed, she grabbed my wrists and stomped toward the back gates... yet.. the back gates were also filled with hundreds of sophmore guys.. all who wore a frown on their faces... they begun to whisper amongst themselves after seeing me and mom.. flabbergasted, mom placed her hand on her forehead while opening.. then closing her mouth again.. i lightly stepped toward them..
"Can you please get out of the way? i have to go ^-^"
"You can't."
"It doesn't matter then.. mom, let's climb over the fence."
When i told mom seriously, she looked me up and down in disbelief.
"why do you trouble me even until you leave?"
"........"
"Nevermind that... whew... move already. i'll call the teachers."
"Haewon Hyung's more scarier than all teachers combined so.. unless you persuade hyung then nope, sorry no can do. It's not like we LIKE standing here like some ants!! aish.. the PE teacher's coming out in 10 minutes!! dude, we're toast!"
"Haewon.......? Dareum's friend, haewon? the player looking one?"
"Haewon's not a player"
"Are you going out with him?"
"Yes"
"Hah.. you created all sorts of mess without me knowing, huh.. get out of the way, i say!!"
The sophmores just silently glared at mom... causing her to recoil in surprise.
"Where's Haewon?"
"Standing behind you."
Immediately turning around, i saw Haewon smiling at me while rubbing his red eyes as if he hadn't got any sleep.
"Haewon.."
"Isn't this like the movies?"
"What are you doing!! Take these kids away instantly!"
Mom yelled annoyed..
"Mom.. wait for me in the car.. i'll be right there after i talk with Haewon."
"Do you even WANT to transfer?"
Then Haewon pulled me closer to him by the wrists and said playfully..
"who's tranferring? Hankyung can't go anywhere, Ahjuma. -0- if you're gonna send someone away, it should be Han Dareum."
"I have never seen such.. such reckless behavior!!! Do you have no respect?!"
"Mom.. wait for me in the car..."
"Hey.. heyy... @ssholes, my mother-in-law's wants to head back to her car.. make way."
At Haewon's words, the sophmores all parted from side to side while Mom didn't budge anywhere as she continued to glare at Haewon.
"Are you blind??? Mother-In-law can't go out by herself.. escort her."
Even before those words left HAewon's mouth, they all charged toward mom and almost picking her up, 'escorted' her out the gates... -__-
"AHH!! AHHHHH!"
At mom's panicky screams, Haewon just grinned..
"Don't haewon... i told you i was coming back.."
"And i told you i won't let you go. ^-^"
"I told you it's hard for me to stay here.."
"and i told you that i'll protect you no matter what."
"i told you that... that smiling... and having fun by myself is still difficult.."
"and... i told you.. that i won't ask for your smile or whatever... just stay where i can see you."
Blocking my tears from trickling down again, i shook my head and looked up at the sky.
"Don't leave Chung Hankyung... I'll treat you better.. I won't get mad over a little problem... and i won't make you cry again..."
"You know that i'm not leaving cuz of you... Haewon... i like you, too.... i like you a lot...."
"then don't leave...."
"Taesung... he was always alone... he survived death several times... and... and all i did was to laugh along with you while... while he just continued to be sad.. he's probably by himself.. again and crying.... how... how can i just continue to be all happy when he's miserable?"
"........."
"It hasn't even been a month since he left... how could i do that to him, haewon... i even promised him to be by his side and... and i broke the promise... and... so he's alone again... cuz of me.... all cuz of me..."
"Then i won't ask you to smile... or be by my side.. so... just stay where i can see you... that's not a problem right?"
"i don't like this place... it's scary..."
"Then... i'll go.."
"..........."
"since you don't like staying here, i'll go over there.. capiche?"
"......."
"if you change your mind again!! you're dead! -__-"
"how will you come to gongju.."
"tch... hey the girl's bathroom is the only restricted area isn't it? i'll be there in less than a month so if i catch you cheating on me with some gongju guy, i'm bringing my 3rd brother! -__-^ goodbye greeting...."
Haewon wobbled his finger, indicating me to get closer... and watching him silently... i stamped another clear stamp of tears on my forehand while hugging his waists... Haewon had his arms around my shoulders as he gripped it tight...
"I'm forgiving you cuz you're going through a lot aight? If you decide to leave me again, oppa won't forgive you anymore!"
"Yeah... it won't happen ever again... i won't... cry in front of you... and... if i happen to cry... it'll be cuz of you and no one else... When... when i can smile thinking about Taesung.. then i'll be the one who hugs you first..."
"Try not to take up the whole month."
"^-^"
"I might not be able to see you for a few days... aish... hey raise your head."
Haewon cupped my jaw softly yet strongly.. -__- and raising my head up, he roughly wiped away my tears.
"it'll be our third this time, huh?"
"-0-"
Covering my wide eyes, Haewon placed his soft lips onto of mine... and that was how i kissed while crying... that's a weird.. taste.. -__- everyone could see us...
"HEYYYYYY!!!! -0-"
Surprised, when i whipped around i saw the PE teacher charging toward us 50 meters away..
"hey.. go on now.. remember to call me when you get there okay? and show me off to your friends..!! that the toughest guy in the century's moving into Gongju!"
With those words, Haewon forced me out the gates... and pretty soon... slap.. bam... woosh... a rendevous between the bamboo stick and Haewon rang in my years..
"Ahhhh!! it's her last year!! can't you just let me go?-0-"
"YOU!! shush your mouth!!"
"Sshi.. imma transfer a few days from now!!! so even if you hold me back, know that i won't falter for one second!! -0-"
"Aigoo!! LEAVE!! PLEAAAAAAAASE LEAVE!!"
slam. woosh. slap
"Don't you know that half the sophmore girls will be gone when i move out? -__-"
"i don't care as long as you're gone!! -0-"
While i stared dumbfounded at the gates..
"Chung hankyung."
Mom pointed her finger at me.. her hair was incredibly messy from the meeting she had with the sophmores a few minutes back.. -__- i hopped into the car without saying a word, and giving me a disapproving look, Mom started the engine after heaving a sigh..
Dareum, jooho, sorry.... minsoon, Jooin, i'll miss you... Daehan, i wish you the best.. Security Guard ahjusshi... Pe Teacher... all byebye... The constant days of events and tears gifted to me.... all byebye.... and bye Ahnyang...
A Wolf's Attraction-117
Mom continued driving while i just stared out the window... without any type of dialogue or a glance toward each other...
three hours later, mom opened her car door and walked out.. staring up at the familiar trees and houses for both of us,
"Hasn't changed one bit.."
She said blankly..
"yeah.. so you're living with Dukhee? well i just have to send you your allowance every week, right?"
"........."
"I don't have to go in, right?"
"Say hello to Dukhee's mom at least.."
"It's okay.. i don't... really want to... it's not like she'll greet me happily... anyway remember to call Dareum and Jooho.. they're probably jumping up and down all over the place righ about now."
i took out my cell phone from my pockets and turned it on.
"Go in now.. and remember to visit.."
".........okay.."
"well... and i apologize... you're the one who couldn't get used to the city so don't blame mom too much."
"i don't."
"yeah.."
Mom slowly turned around and opened the car door..
"mom........."
Mom's hands let go of the door as she stared at me in wonder.
"can't you.... say my name................... just.. once?"
At first she stared at me blankly then heavily opened her mouth..
"........Hankyung.. i'm sorry.."
"Nah.. ^-^ bye mom.."
Maybe it was my imagination for my eyes are too puffy to recognize... but i thought i saw mom's eyes glitter for a second.. and before the tears could even dry... the car sped off..
Wiping away all the tears, i practiced smiling at the same spot... taking a deep breath i was just about to ring the Dukhee's house's door bell when my cell phone begun to ring loudly.... an unknown number...
"hello?"
"why'd you turn your phone off! -0-"
Haewon's loud shout formed a small smile on my lips..
"Sorry.. i was with mom.. where are you?"
"huh? a nightclub."
"what are you doing there... psh.. went to meet new girls huh.."
"What are you talking about?! i'm here to see my first hyung!! he's the owner of the place."
"first hyung? ohh.. ^-^"
"know why i'm here, though?"
"O_O.............."
"Oppa!! it's been SUCH a long time!! AHHH~~! where have you BEEN?!"
a sugary girl's voice was heard over the phone.. -___-
for a moment, there was trampling and rustling then Haewon appeared again.
"I'm not here to see you! go away!! -0- hey chung hankyung.. know why i'm here??"
"nope..."
"I'm here to get permission.... to go down to gongju i mean. proud of me? ^-^"
"you... really are going to come?"
"of coruse.. hey, i'll call you later.. my hyung's coming out.. oh yeah, does anyone live next door?"
"yeah... you mean where imma live from now on? yeah someone does live next door.. why?"
"give him or her a notice to move out in 3 days.. and tell him imma move in, aight? i'll call you later. Hyung! i'm here!"
doo doo doo doo... Mung Goo lives next door to Duk hee.. you want me to tell Mung Goo to move out? -__- i sometimes really wonder how Haewon's mind works... i don't think he was joking around either.. sighing, i was about to press the door bell when my cell phone begun to ring again... Dareum..
"hello? Dareum.."
"I'm gonna curse you forever!! if i forgive you, i'm not human!!"
Dareum's and Jooho's outcry rang throughout the phone in simulatenously, mixed with tears and anger..
"Dareum.. Jooho.. i'm sorry... i'm really sorry i could tell you..."
"Until i die!!!!!!! i won't forgive you............. ever!!!"
With that loud cry, the phone call ended..
"Dareum!! JOOHO!!"
I tried Dareum's number again yet because i had spent all my minutes, i was unable to get a signal through... well... ahh i guess i have to use Dukhee's phone then... i hope it's okay that i came by without a notice.. my fingers pressed on the bell...
"who is it?"
"this is Hankyung.."
"who's hankyung..?"
"Isn't this Dukhee's house?"
"They moved out a couple of weeks ago.."
"What?!"
"I heard it was Pusan or something."
"........"
Dropping the bag i had in my hands, i collapsed onto the floor once again.T_T
A Wolf's Attraction-118
NOW what do i do.... arghhhh... why does these things always happen to me... after staring at dukhee's house dumbfounded for a long time, i slowly ordered my feet toward MungGoo's house.. except no one was home..
"MungGoo....... Ahjuma..??"
calling their name carefully, i solemnly stared at the shut door.
"AHJUMA! MUNGGOO!!! -0-"
Still no answer.. sighing i carefully pushed open the door..
"Huh, why aren't you Hankyung?"
MungGoo who had just been in the fields... judging by the hoe in hie hand, ran toward me in surprise.
"MungGoo. Imma stay here for good. ^-^"
"what? -0-"
"What'll you do Hankyung... we only have one bedroom at our house... i'm so sorry... MungGoo think what Hankuyng could do... is there anywhere she could live?"
Ahjuma sat on the wooden floor while giving me a look of sympathy..
"Mom, can't we make a shack for her? -0-"
Ahjuma stared back at MungGoo dumbly for a second..
"and how will you do that? first it was the trees now this.. -0-"
"Then what'll we do with her... Hankyung... hmm... let's see... well it's not like you could live by herself..."
wait, wait, waiit! MungGoo that's a good idea!! -0-
"MungGoo!! is there a small apartment near the school?"
"O_O Hankyung.."
"Let's go~~ huh? the realty...!! let's go!!! >_<"
"Dear, why the sudden departure from Ahnyang though?"
"Mom, you stay home.. i'll be right back with Hankyung.."
MungGoo rescued me from her question and i chased him out the door...
"Yep, we have just the place... it's pretty small, but the water comes out just fine.. we just built the place a couple of years ago so there aren't any bugs.. you plan on living by yourself?"
"Yes"
"It'd be dangerous to live by yourself.. -__-"
"I'll protect her~! -0-"
MungGoo wrapped his long arms around my shoulders and laughed... after seeing how serious i was, he faked coughed twice and put his hands back down.. -__-
"I'll take it.. i can move in today, right?"
MungGoo interrupted..
"No Hankyung!! You should rest at our place!!"
"-__-...."
"heh.... hehehe.. -__-"
While walking to the newly rented house..
"Hankyung, do you even have enough money to rent the place? -__-"
"Yep.. my brother gave me some money..."
"Brother? oh taesung... oh yeah, where is he? -0-"
"far.. far away... ^-^"
"far away? america? china? where?"
"..........."
"are you crying?"
"MungGoo.. ^-^ can you wait until i'm ready to tell you...?"
MungGoo suddenly looked serious as he nodded several times..
"Thanks.. ^-^"
The house was just a few minutes away from the Girls-Only-Gongju-High.. It had a clean, working bathroom along with good view... i was shaken up by the idea of living by myself yet forcing on a smile, i helped MungGoo deliver my belongings..
That night, after resisting to have dinner with MungGoo, I softly sobbed beneath my blankets thinking about this and that...
hence there was a welcoming ring..
"Hello?"
"What IS this place? sshi&!*@#^&*!!! i feel like i'm in a maze. argh it's pissing me off."
"Haewon? where are you?"
"Oppa's at GongJu! where's your house?"
"I moved into a new house.."
"what?"
"new.house."
"who are you living with?"
"myself.."
"location."
"what?"
"tell me the location to your house!"
"um.. where are you then? T_T"
Even though it was his first time in Gongju, Haewon was banging on my front doors not even 10 minutes afterward.. when i opened the door for him in my pajamas while smiling at him with puffy eyes, Haewon just shook his head as if getting a migraine.. it hasnt even been a day since i last saw him yet i feel so happy to see him again.. T_T i silently rubbed my face on his vest and begun to weep..
"you told me you had a place to eat and stay!! what are you doing here by yourself?"
"My friend suddenly.. moved.. apparently.. T_T so i rented this place out.. isn't it pretty?"
".....whew..-__-^"
"How are you gonna go to school tomorrow? d'you eat yet?"
"I can't come here.. i'm forbidden to move.."
"yeah. ^-^"
"what's yeah? how can you just laugh??! i told you not to move!! you plan on living by yourself? hah, pack.... let's go back"
"No, haewon.."
"Let's go back, yeah? i can get you a place to live... come back to Ahnyang.."
"i won't.."
"Don't be so stubborn!"
Dragging me by the hand, Haewon stepped into the dark room and begun packing..
"Crap, why's your room so cold.."
"haewon...."
"I'll get you a hotel in Gongju for tonight... you could sleep there and i'll start looking for your house tomorrow."
"Can't i just stay? i want to try to make it on my own Haewon.."
"Stop with the nonsense.. imma be in the car."
Picking up my belongings, Haewon headed toward the door... and running after him, I held onto his wrists anxiously..
"After the college entrance exams.. when i start college i'll go back to AhnYang... until i'll try my best to get into the same college as you... and just until then, just let me live by myself... i need to know how to take care of myself haewon... and if i were to go back to Ahnyang, i'd just start doing unneccesary things again.... i can feel it..."
"After you graduate, imma have you live with me.. okay?"
"Haewon... it's my life... i want this chance.. can't you wait for me just for 7 months? would you rather have me smiling here in Gongju or crying in Ahnyang?"
Without a word, Haewon let go of the doorknob...
"Promise? Promise me, you'll attend the same college as me... and you'll come straight back to Ahnyang.."
"Of course. ^-^"
"And you'll only study til then."
"Yep. ^-^ of course, i'll be thinking about you in between.. ^-^"
"Write down whatever you need.. a bed.. computer.. whatever.. i'll bring it down with me by this saturaday.."
"Okay.. i'll give you the money right now. ^O^"
"Pay me back later..with the taxes."
Throwing my belongings aside, Haewon punched my head lightly and walked out the door.. -__- and.. until 5 o'clock the next day.. we sat on the front porch while gazing at stars... after setting Haewon off, i came back into my room and fell asleep immediately.
I'll do it... i can do it.... no... i have to do it... i'll show mom... dad... and Taesung that i'm not weak... i'll make sure that i don't cry from tomorrow... so.... just for today.... i'll get rid of these tears for the entire year... for the last time..
A Wolf's Attraction-119
2002. August 27th. I was able to laugh and have fun like i used to in about 5 months.
I would hang out with my school friends without any type of worrying... studied everyday until 11.. -__- biked to school every morning.. ^-^ and Haewon would always visit me every saturaday. (sometimes Wun tagged along -__-).. Dareum and Jooho weren't mad at me anymore... for they visited me at least twice a month.. well.. despite the fact that they would steal glares at me when i wasn't looking.. -__-
Thanks to my new environment, my grades increased incredibly... and more than anything... i chatted with Taesung at least for two hours every three days.. ^o^
Nuna, did you eaat yhet?
Yep~ just ate. ^^ Taesung, your spelling has been weird these couple of days.. -__-
Oh.. see.. I'm forgetting Korean cuz i don't have a chance to speak it.
You weren't wrong two weeks ago.. T_T
AH... yeah..
Oh Taesung, Haewon's here. Imma go now.
Where are you going?
To Ahnyang.. to meet Dareum.
Dareum?
Yeah Taesung.. she misses you a lot..
Who's Dareum..?
What? -0-
Ohhh... Dareum.. ah yeah..
Um... yeah Haewon keeps on insulting me.. T_T come online tomorrow! ^^ bye~
Yeah.
After logging out, i noticed Haewon's glare as he had his arms crossed. -__-
"Hey, i wanna chat, too. make me a screen name."
"Okay kek. i'll make one up for you. ^0^"
"When's Chung Taesung visiting? -__-"
"I don't know.. he keeps on avoiding the subject.."
"He's proly having fun with some chick.. -__-"
"chick...?! -0-"
"Nevermind... hey let's go. I didn't bring my car today so we could ride the bus."
"really? ^O^ it'll be our first time being on the city bus togethe! >_<"
"I get the window seat!"
"Wahh? nooo!! TOT i want the window seat.."
"Whoever says it first wins! -__-"
"We just won't sit together then. T_T"
"wanna die.."
We headed toward the Gongju terminal while chatting and arguing... suddenly a black van speeded toward us and Haewon quickly pushed me into the sidewalks.
"He could've hit someone!! argh, reckless drivers.."
Hey... isn't that those vans for funerals..? i wonder who died... Haewon continued to glare at the black van...
for some reason, the van looked ever so solemn and... without me knowing... a tear fell onto my shoes..
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