Rebels without a Pause

Parents should stop blaming themselves. I’ve come to the conclusion there’s not a lot you can do about it

I mean the teenage years. Whatever you do, however you choose to handle it, at some point between the ages of 12 and 18 that wonderful, reasonable child will turn into a snarling, loutish monster.

I’ve seen friends handle it in different ways. One is a strict disciplinarian and insisted her son, right from a small child, should stand up whenever anyone entered the room, open doors, shake hands and generally behave as the model son. I saw him last week when I called round. Stretched full length on the sofa, he made no attempt to turn off the horrible video he was watching as I walked in, and his greeting was no more than a grunt. His mother was mortified. “I don’t know what to do with him these days”, she said. “He’s forgotten all the manners we taught him”. He hasn’t forgotten them. He’s just decided that he’s not going to use them.

Another chum let her daughters climb all over the furniture, reach across the table, stare at you and say, “I don’t like your frock, it’s smelly”. One of the same daughters has recently been expelled from school. The other has left home with a lad who arrived one night, dressed in black leather, on a motorbike, taking her and all her worldly goods on the pillion.

“Where did we go wrong?” her parents now sob. Probably nowhere much. Why do we always blame ourselves for the teenage years of our children? Why do we keep being patient with someone who has now become as reasonable and charming as a maddened gorilla?

What’s the hardest of all is suddenly not getting on with this person whom we’ve always liked and been proud of. One of their many annoying teenage traits is that they appear to think parents have lost all their senses, intelligence and power to handle.

For instance, cigarette smoke is pretty noticeable if you don’t smoke yourself. So you go up to your child’s bedroom and say quietly “So, when did you start smoking?” The reply when it comes is an insult not only to your intelligence but also to your sense of smell. “I don’t smoke, mum. That’s when most mothers lose their temper and teenagers continue to think that parents they’ve looked up to have become dull, stupid, not worth a civil word. That’s the trouble with parents, most teenagers will tell you: they go through this really awful stage when you’ve got nothing in common with them. It’s not true, of course. It’s just during their teenage years my children don’t understand me.

Word search

Decide what these words and phrases mean. Explain their meaning and use them in your own context.

-turn into a snarling, loutish monster

-behave as the model son

-to be expelled from school

-to treat smb.

-annoying teenage traits

-not worth a civil word

-to lose one’s temper

Speaking

Discuss the following points in pairs:

1. What complaints might a teenager have about his/her parents?

2. Why can’t parents understand their children?

3. How do teenagers try to solve their problems:

- leave home for some time

- take into account parents’ advice

- just nod their heads but think they are right?

4. Why do you think parents don’t trust their children:

(they simply get crazy about their friends, possible smoking, drug taking, having sex).

Exercise 3

Translate the following sentences into English:

1. Я прийшла до висновку, що батьки не повинні звинувачувати себе, якщо їх дитина у підлітковому віці перетворилася на грубе створіння. Деякі мої приятелі з самого малечку вчили своїх дітей вставати, коли хтось заходить, тиснути руку, фактично, поводитись, як зразкова дитина. Зараз одна з цих дітей навіть не спромагається робити все те, чому була навчена, і, як результат, її ще й виключили зі школи. Батьки зараз пригнічені та плачуть, що протягом цього жахливого періоду діти не поважають їх і не варті за це жодного доброго слова.

2. Батьки повинні лагідно поводитись зі своїми дітьми, щоб не перетворитись на занудних, обмежених, не вартих доброго слова монстрів.

3. Протягом цього жахливого підліткового періоду ваша розсудлива, працьовита дитина несподівано може перетворитись на грубе створіння.

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Дата добавления: 2015-11-16