The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde

Lane. Mr. Ernest Worthing. [Enter Jack. ] [ Lane goes out.]

Algernon. How are you, my dear Ernest? What brings you up to town?

Jack. Oh, pleasure, pleasure! What else should bring one anywhere? Eating as usual, I see, Algy!

Algernon. [Stiffly.] I believe it is customary in good society to take some slight refreshment at five o’clock. Where have you been since last Thursday?

Jack. [Sitting down on the sofa.] In the country.

Algernon. What on earth do you do there?

Jack. [Pulling off his gloves.] When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people. It is excessively boring.

Algernon. And who are the people you amuse?

Jack. [Airily.] Oh, neighbours, neighbours.

Algernon. Got nice neighbours in your part of Shropshire?

Jack. Perfectly horrid! Never speak to one of them.

Algernon. How immensely you must amuse them! [Goes over and takes sandwich.] By the way, Shropshire is your county, is it not?

Jack. Eh? Shropshire? Yes, of course. Hallo! Why all these cups? Why cucumber sandwiches? Why such reckless extravagance in one so young? Who is coming to tea?

Apr 2nd 2009
From The Economist print edition

Repeated offence

In Russia Mikhail Khodorkovsky, once boss of the Yukos oil company and avowed enemy of Vladimir Putin, went on trial for a second time. He is charged with embezzling Yukos’s oil. The defence claimed the trial was political: without it, Mr Khodorkovsky would have been released in two years’ time. See article

A prominent Chechen, Sulim Yamadayev, was reportedly shot dead in Dubai. Mr Yamadayev had fallen out with Chechnya’s president, Ramzan Kadyrov. He would be the fourth well-known opponent of Mr Kadyrov’s to be killed since September.

A new surge

At a conference in The Hague, nearly 90 countries and organisations welcomed America’s new strategy to deal with extremism in Afghanistan and Pakistan. This would combine more troops and aid with a more intense regional diplomatic effort. Iran said it would be ready to help. See article

Pakistan’s police recaptured a police academy that had been taken over by terrorists in Lahore. The head of the Pakistan Taliban claimed responsibility and said it was in retaliation for an American drone attack. America sent another drone into Pakistan, reportedly killing 12 people. Earlier, a suicide-bomber killed scores of people at a mosque near the border with Afghanistan. See article

Researchers at the University of Toronto said they had found that almost 1,300 government-owned computers in 103 countries had been infected by spyware and other secret eavesdropping devices. Their report said circumstantial evidence pointed to China as the culprit. See article

Varun Gandhi, a member of India’s main political dynasty, was charged with attempted murder and rioting during the election campaign. Mr Gandhi had defected from the family’s Congress party and was standing for the opposition Bharatiya Janata Party. See article

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