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Back on the street,
Madison stands by her car,
the sun now tucked in tight,
the moon rising, ready
to take watch over our world.
I hug her and say good-bye.
No explanation necessary.
She knows this
is where I need to be.
Back in his Beetle,
a dozen questions
circle my mind like vultures.
I can’t let them move in
on this moment though.
It’s not time.
Now is the time
to let him know
he is safe with me.
That we can have fun
and be friends,
and it can be enough.
I’ll make it be enough.
Unnecessary
I get my words ready.
I want to tell him
I won’t push him anymore.
That whatever’s going on,
it’s his business,
and whether he wants to tell me or not,
it doesn’t matter, we can still
be friends.
Being a friend means
knowing when to push
and knowing when to pull back.
I’d forgotten that.
I get my words ready,
mixing them up and around,
wanting to say just
the right thing.
But while I’m
preparing,
sorting,
organizing,
stressing,
he speaks.
“I’ll tell you, Amber.
I will tell you.
Just not now.”
He reaches over for
my hand. Holds it there,
on my leg. My heart
skips a beat, and I give
his hand a little squeeze
as I put all of my
carefully selected words
away.
that’s more like it
A pink lobster
glows neon
in the window.
Because it’s dark,
I can’t make out
the name of the place.
He leads me in,
waves at the guy
behind the register,
and takes me
to a booth in the corner.
It’s obvious
he knows this place.
It’s more than just somewhere
to get something to eat.
I look behind me
and see a bar
and pool tables.
We’re underage,
but, obviously,
for reasons I don’t understand,
it doesn’t matter.
“So, no Chinese food?”
“Nope.”
And that’s all he says.
This boy likes to keep me guessing.
The waiter comes over,
says, “Hey, Cade,”
and asks if it’ll be the usual.
“Yeah,” he says.
“But two this time.”
He knows what he wants.
No flipping coins.
I tell him I need to use the
restroom, so he gets up
and leads me to the back
where there are two doors,
one with a GONE FISHING sign
and one with a GONE SHOPPING sign.
“I hate shopping,” I tell him.
“You can go in with me if you want.”
Is he flirting with me?
Damn, I hope so.
Piling it on
As I wash my hands,
I stare in the mirror,
thinking about this
weird and wonderful day.
It didn’t turn out
like I thought it would.
Nothing ever does.
The good news is
I’ve hardly thought about
tomorrow at all.
The bad news is
I’ve now added new worries
to the pile that’s so high,
it feels like it could topple over
at any moment.
Cade???
Why the hell are you here?
What can I do to help you?
Please, there must be something?
Will I ever see you again?
What if I don’t like my new family?
What if my new family doesn’t like me?
What if my real family doesn’t miss me?
What if my real family even likes having me gone?
Wish I could demolish it
the way Cade destroyed
that sand castle.
If only it were that
easy.
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