When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses.

~Joyce Brothers

Almost everyone is caught up in believing that acquiring vast amounts of money is the key to happiness and success.

Money is NOT the core issue. Achieving self-fulfillment is. What we REALLY require is a sense that we are living up to our fullest personal potential, enjoying every moment of life to the absolute fullest, and feeling like we are making a genuine contribution (or difference) in the world.

If you are following your truest passion and delivering it to others, the size of your bank account does not matter.

According to the dictionary self-fulfillment is 'the ability to make yourself happy and complete through your own efforts.'

In terms of psychology, self-fulfillment mirrors the self-actualization concept that Abraham Maslow explained in very clear terms in his Hierarchy of Needs theory.

The “Maslow’s Hierarchy” theory posits that people must have their physical needs met, e.g. food and shelter, before they can focus on higher order needs, such as love and esteem. The top of the pyramid is “self-actualization.”

So, after physiological and safety needs are fulfilled, the third level of human needs is interpersonal and involves feelings of belongingness. This need is especially strong in childhood and can override the need for safety as witnessed in children who cling to abusive parents. Deficiencies within this level of Maslow's hierarchy – due to hospitalism, neglect, shunning, ostracism, etc. – can impact the individual's ability to form and maintain emotionally significant relationships in general, such as:

• Friendship
• Intimacy
• Family

According to Maslow, humans need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance among their social groups, regardless if these groups are large or small. For example, some large social groups may include clubs, co-workers, religious groups, professional organizations, sports teams, and gangs. Some examples of small social connections include family members, intimate partners, mentors, colleagues, and confidants. Humans need to love and be loved – both sexually and non-sexually – by others.^[2] Many people become susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety, and clinical depression in the absence of this love or belonging element. This need for belonging may overcome the physiological and security needs, depending on the strength of the peer pressure.

One doesn’t have to look far, in today’s money driven world, to see that personal relations play insignificant role in achieving self-fulfillment. It is argued that work and financial position does matter a lot but deep connections with near and dear ones are true secret to individual’s happiness. This will be shown by analysing the often lonely lives of wealthy celebrities.

It is abundantly clear that considerable number of affluent well known faces were not able to live joyous life. For example, Michel Jackson, who was the richest and greatest dancer of all time, was not happy from inside. This was largely due to his distant relations with family members as well as turbulent relationship with friends. On the other hand, people with limited skills and finance, have live happy life because of their sound social network. Thus, it is clear that solid and rooted relationships have upper hand over wealth when it comes to achieve self-fulfillment

It is just one of the levels on the way of achieving self-fulfillment. It can be the main aim of life.

Psychology professor at Arizona State University, Douglas Kenrick, now thinks the pyramid should change. While we may aspire to be self-actualized, we are really motivated by evolutionary needs. What should replace self-actualization at the top of the pyramid is parenting!

What has lead to the newly anointed position of parenting at the top of the pyramid is a misplaced emphasis on the role of parents today. “Once, parent was something you were, not something you did. We have elevated it into a profession, a competition, a calling.” In our competitive society, that has lead to over-parenting – the hovering, helicopter parents. This in turn has lead to “children who are better prepared for college, but less prepared for life”. With expulsions from pre-K and Kindergarten, I think we’ve seen how over-parenting has left children less prepared for Kindergarten.

Maslow never mentions “parenting” as part of self actualization because at the time the theory was proposed, no one could fathom the idea of children as “life’s work.” We’ve lost sight of the goal of all parents – to make ourselves unnecessary. “Judging by how little my kids call me, I say I’ve succeeded. It’s time to face the irony that by moving parenting to the pinnacle, we are keeping children from ever reaching it themselves. How on earth do we rewrite the job description for parents so it is more realistic and productive?” – says professor.

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Дата добавления: 2015-11-14