Russian Family Life

The keyword to Russian family life is dependence. The family life is built on dependence, and Russians are attached to their family members.

The roots of this situation are in the way of being. Russians live in small apartments in large blocks, with 2-3 generations living together. It's normal when grown single children live with parents, and even when married children with spouses stay with one of the parents.

During the Soviet time one couldn't buy an apartment (Russians call them "flats"), he could only "receive" it from the state. The apartments were given to people for free, according to the time they worked on the enterprise. One should only pay a small fee for communal services. The state norms for giving the apartments were rather tough, with 5-8 square meters for a person. A family with 2 children of the same gender would get only two-room apartment of about 30 square meters (kitchens, bathrooms and passages were not taking into account). A divorced woman with a daughter would get only one-room apartment.

Nowadays one can buy an apartment, and the state does not give apartments to people for free anymore. Buying an apartment is unachievable for the majority of people because of small salaries. One of my friends, 38-year old single woman, still lives with her mom in one-room apartment, and they have zero chances to get a better one unless she gets married and leaves. (Which is also doubtful as there are 10 million (!) more women of marriageable age in Russia than men and all men who wanted to get married are normally married by the time.)

Living in small apartments together with parents and/or children makes Russians take care of each other. They have to be considerate and ready to compromise. One has to adapt to the family lifestyle and rules.

Any person has his own limit of patience and acceptance of the things but Russians have much higher potential limits. If compare those limits with thermometer, Americans have 20-degrees "thermometer", and when they reach this point, their emotional "thermometer" just fails to work further. For them it's a critical situation. Russians have 100-degrees thermometer, and in the same situation, which is unacceptable for an American, they will act as if nothing happens.

That's why I think that Russian women have the proper skills to make good wives. They usually do not let situation to come to the point of no return. It does not mean that they give up their goals easily, but they try to reach them in a different, less complicated or roundabout way. They do not intend to prove their point, and the result is of more importance than the rightness. You won't even notice how it happened that you eventually did what she wanted! And it does not mean that the woman is devious or the like; for her it's just natural.

Well, coming back to Russian family life.

Russians get married early, at the age 18-22. Because they don't really care much about making a career, they don't wait until they are independent. Young couples usually stay with wife's or husband's parents during the first years of marriage. Being single in Russia puts a label on a woman. If she is over 25 and still single, it means that something's wrong with her. Not any amount of money she earns or her career successes can give her high social status, if she is not married. Infidelity is common in Russia. Women outnumber men, and a guy can easily find somebody for affairs. Single girls all desperately want to find a "worthy" man and get married. Marriage for Russian women is the same type of thing as career for western women - it gives them a respectable social status.

Дата добавления: 2015-11-14