April - The Flood 10 страница

While Hilda and Jasmine cooked downstairs and got an area ready for the kids, I was cleaning my room and making sure I had enough space for people to move around in. The wall that I had already done a base coat for stretched all the way across near the stairs. It was part of the wide open space of the third floor before it broke off into my bedroom and then the bathroom and closest where my darkroom was. I put down newspapers and old sheets, along with grabbing all the paint we had in the house. I tip-toed in and out of Gerard's room, trying to be quiet. I woke him up once, but he didn't mind. He pulled me into bed with him and we ended up getting half-undressed before we knew it. He kissed me and touched me everywhere and was extremely energetic. His nap had served him well, and I told him so. He just kissed me, our tongues meeting and then plunging into one another slowly.

"Come here," he whispered into my ear. He slid his hands around the rim of my boxers, touching my growing erection as he began to slide them down my body. "I want to see you, all of you. You're beautiful."

Once my boxers were removed, he touched the side of my face and tilted his head to the side. I began to take off his clothing too, but his eyes demanded contact. We kissed again, once naked, and then his hands found my erection and my balls underneath. His cupped them slowly, and then, sliding down lower onto the mattress, put me inside his mouth. He took me in deeply while I pressed my head against the pillow. My hands were in his hair for awhile, encouraging him as my hips met up with his mouth, but as soon as his fingers became involved, I loss control. I pressed my hands to the top of the bed and tilted my head to see our invitation out of the corner of my eyes. Orchids stared back at me, and I smiled, thinking of the complex beauties of flowers and people, and the earth that eventually became a part of them.

Gerard was hard enough to enter me. When he did, we had sex face to face. Each thrust he grunted and moaned, but then repeated on the underside of the breath, just how beautiful I was.

"You are too," I told him, exasperated and spent. He came before I did, and slid out of me, only to go down on me once again. He swallowed, and then kissed his way up from my belly button. I was laying with my eyes closed, hand on my forehead again until I caught my breath and my endorphins slowed. When I opened my eyes, he was staring at the orchids, too. He smiled at me, and kissed me once again before laying by my side.

"You're still a flower, in the heat of spring, Frank," he informed me, touching my nipples intimately with his fingers. "I'm old, remember? Flowers do not look so good when they are old."

I was quiet for a moment, trying to place his insecurity behind the remark. I touched his face this time, curling some of his gray hair around his ears. "You're confusing your subjective opinion with fact. Remember? You are not the best person to comment on yourself because you're too involved. This is just like art. I say you're beautiful."

I was quiet for a moment, and his eye contact dropped. I hoped he understood where I was referencing from, and just how often his words from before I repeated to myself, especially while at work. I went on a bit. "Besides, I don't think you can always qualify beauty. I say it, and I believe it to be true. There are not many things that can change my mind. But then again, maybe I'm subjective too and can't comment." I paused, looking at our book at the foot of the bed. "But there had to be something that pulled bees to the flowers. Beauty may be subjective, but you can't deny its existence when it is seen. Then again, what do I know... I think I'm still a little lightheaded from you and your many talents, old man." I went back to teasing, and touched his face again playfully. He looked up and kissed me quickly, pulling me into a hug.

"You're a smart man, Frank. Too smart," he said, and then we were quiet together, kissing and touching foreheads for quite some time.

"I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous about meeting everyone," Gerard confessed eventually after a few more minutes. We were still naked on his bed, covers up to our waists. He was touching little patches of skin on my body, as if mapping out where his lips had just been, where more flowers should go.

"Have you met Hilda yet?" He looked at me oddly, but when I said then woman downstairs wearing the suit, he nodded profusely. "See? I'm already screwing up names."

I assured him that we would be fine. He knew most of us anyway, and in the worst case scenario, he had me. I promised that I would stay close to him, as close as I was right then, and he seemed to calm down. "I'm excited to paint again, and to paint a mural like we used to," he told me and then kissed where he had been tracing with his fingers, from my nipple to in between my ribcage. "Well, not quite like we used to. We won't be naked this time," he remarked. "I guess we'll have to do that ourselves later."

I pulled his lips up to mine and we kissed for what felt like the thousandth time that day. Then there was a loud clanging that rattled through our town house and I realized it was the first time we had ever heard our own bell. Most times, people knocked. But this was a special occasion. It rang through the walls yet again, the first guest at our party becoming impatient with waiting. Gerard and I kissed one final time before beginning to put on our clothes again. I ran down into my room, dropped off the last of the paint, and Gerard waited on the stairs for me.

"You ready?" I asked him.

"As I'll ever be," he said. He extended his arm to me, and mutely, I took it with my own as we began to descend the stairs.

Mikey and Alexa were the first to arrive, and the excitable door ringer had been Elizabeth. She hid behind her mother's legs when we opened up for them, occasionally peeking out and then biting her lip when she was seen. She smiled really wide, as if she knew how much noise she had been making was bad, but loved it so much anyway. She kept laughing and giggling and didn't respond to me when I said hello to her (as I tried to say hi and ask how they were to each kid; I was slowly learning from Mikey that you had to treat them as adults, but take care of them and take responsibly for them as they were children; it was an art and a fine balance to be achieved), but she did laugh a lot, so I took that as a good sign. As soon as she stepped inside the house, she and David took off and began to run up and down the stairs. Alexa rolled her eyes and Mikey said a quick hello to everyone before he went after the two kids. They normally would have just let the run around if it was their house, but since we were planning surprises and had paint out, it was better for Mikey to grab them. Isaac seemed awkward inside the hallway; as if he didn't really know where to look. He wanted to look at Hilda, who was still in drag, but he took Rachel with him into the living area adjacent to them. They both sat down and waited for the other kids to be rounded up. Alexa had Jonah in her arms and extended her free one to give Gerard and I small hugs. Jonah was wide awake in his blue onesie; he extended his arms in the air and seemed to be trying to do a dance against Alexa's chest. I smiled at him and he seemed to enjoy himself even more. Alexa went over to where Hilda and Jasmine were making food and began to talk with them as well, sitting down at the table with Jonah in her lap after she had placed her bag down. Alexa had brought more banana bread; it was the first item on our long table where our potluck would be contained.

Since we were structuring this house-warming party as a potluck, we did not ask for presents. We didn't need anything for our house, really, that we hadn't already gotten or borrowed from people when they helped us move in. We didn't want to do the typical house warming party, so our gifts were practical and artistic exchanges: a table of food that would feed us for a few weeks afterwards and a wall painted with everyone. There was also going to be no alcohol, for obvious reasons. Gerard had still insisted on wine, though, for old times' sake. I knew that if I restricted myself entirely, the drinking would become this huge thing again. It had been a week now since the incident, and though it was still tenuous, I was okay. With this many people around me, especially if it was Gerard I was drinking the wine with, I knew I would be fine. I told Gerard that Jasmine had suggested that it be him and only him I drank around, sort of like a buddy system ("for the time being, Frank"), and he seemed more than eager to be that person. He was taking care of me, of course, and he said he knew I'd do the same for him.

"Right, my dove?" he told me, getting me a glass as soon as he came downstairs. "I take care of you, and you can take care of me? I am an old man."

I nodded, taking my glass and having a sip. "You're not that old."

"And you," he declared, "are not drinking wine properly. You need to savour it. You need to smell it. Like this."

He began to demonstrate, and for the next little while, as the house began to become filled even more with noise and people, Gerard and I were together. The old man and the seventeen year old, over wine, as he taught me again how to really do this, to really appreciate every ounce of life that could be granted to us. "That is why I like wine culture. We slow down for a second and just simply smell."

The moment was interrupted when Mikey came back from rounding his two kids up. Gerard and I looked at one another, and then linked hands with our wine glasses in the other, greeted mark. He smiled, somewhat out of breath from climbing our stairs. "I apologize for doing this," he said, "but I think I gave myself a tour when I was grabbing these two. The place looks fantastic and I'm glad you're enjoying yourself here."

I looked down and asked what David and Elizabeth had thought of the house, but they both tried to hide again and didn't have much to say. We all moved into the room beside the hallway where Isaac and Rachel were, out of the warming kitchen. Jasmine had put lots of board games, coloring books, and small toys and puzzles that she had already owned in there to amuse the kids. Isaac had already picked up a rubik’s cube and Rachel was reading. I could tell that they weren't too thrilled to be here, but it was important that they were. It saved on a real baby-sitter and it just wouldn't have been the same without having kids around. Mikey insisted to me that they needed time to feel more at home in the environment. Unlike Elizabeth and David who would feel at home so long as they got to run, Isaac and Rachel were more cautious. And Jonah, well, Jonah was just happy so long as someone was holding him. Alexa had moved into this room after feeding Jonah in the kitchen, and Gerard moved to sit next to her. His wine was done, and he needed to rest his knees. He was surprised, when suddenly, Alexa turned to him and gave him Jonah.

"I don't think you've ever held him, and just like Frank had to get used to it, so do you," she explained and then dropped him off. She was always so casual with her kids; I didn't know how she could do it.

I watched as Gerard went through a range of emotions, from disoriented to cautious and then eventually calming himself down. I went over to the couch they were sitting on and leaned on the arm closest to Gerard. Jonah peaked over Gerard's shoulder at me and waved his hands. He was still getting used to and fine tuning his motor skills and dexterity, Alexa explained. Until he could be a master, there would be a lot of flopping around and general spasmodic movements. Gerard flustered with this being that seemed to move so much, but he was getting the hang of it.

"He's usually calmer," I told Gerard, touching his back. "He just likes you a lot."

Gerard laughed. Alexa had gone off again to talk to Hilda - I could hear their laughter from the kitchen - and so I took her place on the couch with Gerard. I touched his leg and smiled at him.

"It's been a long time," Gerard commented. He had begun to touch Jonah's back and the baby's kicks had subsided. He had begun to make gurgling noises that I was wary of, but they just turned out to be his normal breathing noises. Flopping around had tired him out. He was slowly falling asleep on Gerard's chest. Gerard seemed particularly moved by this feat. He placed his free hand over my hand and I shifted closer to him.

"How far along is Jasmine now?" he asked. I told him four and a half months. We both glanced at her from the kitchen, smiling to ourselves. She turned around and went to the fridge, caught our gaze, and smiled back. She was still wearing her dress and barefoot, and she walked out of the kitchen to say hi to us. Mikey was talking and playing with his kids, Hilda and Alexa were in hysterics in the kitchen, so it was just the three of us together around the couch now, with Jonah. Jasmine looked down and touched the baby's head.

"Have you held him yet?" Gerard asked. I could tell he didn't want to give him up, but Jasmine's gaze caught him off guard. She shook her head and he removed the sleeping baby from his chest and passed him to her. She went through the same range of emotions as well, starting with confusion and bewilderment. Jonah woke up a little bit and made a groan, but as soon as Jasmine put him on her chest and over her shoulder, he calmed down. She came and sat between us on the couch. I put my arm around her and Gerard did as well, our hands meeting in the center of her back.

"Is this what it's going to be like in another four months?" I asked.

"I don't know," Jasmine said, "It'll be different, probably, but I do like this."

Gerard kissed the side of her forehead, and her eyes blinked shut with overwhelming emotion. With her free hand she clutched his knee, and brought her gaze to me. She smiled, gazing at me, her emotions not as intense. She asked if I wanted Jonah now, and then placed the infant in my arms. It felt like we were playing hot potato with poor Jonah, but he seemed to be enjoying all the attention and affection. The child no longer taking up their arms, Jasmine and Gerard turned to one another. She closed her eyes again, swallowing hard, before she leaned into his body and put her head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head again, then ran his hand from her ribcage to her stomach. Jasmine took his hand, and shifting around, let him go under her dress, so he could actually place his palm skin to skin with her own. Jasmine was wearing shorts underneath her dress, so she wasn't exposing herself in any way visible, but the intimacy of which their hands move together under her dress fabric made my heart beat faster.

"They has started to kick. It's a new thing; I've only noticed it the past two days. They isn't doing it right now, but I like hands here, just in case, you know? It feels good," she told both of us. I scooted closer to them on the couch and with my free hand, placed it over theirs. I could feel the warmth radiating from her, the power that oscillated inside of her. And I held the squirming infant against me. I felt like I was at the beginning and the end of a story, and like I still had so much more to do. Jasmine was calm; she leaned more against Gerard and then turned to face him. He was still baffled by the sheer immensity of life that she had within her, but he turned closer to her in order to establish the connection that she wanted with him. She was in between his legs now, her back to him and his head over her one shoulder. They kissed briefly and then went back to holding her stomach underneath her dress.

Meanwhile, the bell rang again through the house and Elizabeth came running by to get the door. Jonah started to squirm, so I left those two on the couch to see who else had come. I looked back before I went to the door, and I was struck dumb. I was able to view Gerard and Jasmine from an outsider perspective, no longer involved in the embrace. They were so close together on the couch, she was practically in his lap, their foreheads pushed together. I felt so lucky and so loved, though I wasn't even there. They were the most important people in my lives, and they each held huge parts of me. Seeing them as close as they were - and even when they kissed again and longer than a standard peck - it hit me as if they were also kissing me too. Our relationships were growing and overwhelming us. I held Jonah to my chest and he turned over and started to grab my face, pulling me away from the display and towards the door again. As he grabbed at my stubble and laughed at its texture, the door opened and Vivian came inside.

"That bell!" she seemed to shriek. "I feel like I'm in a church with that ruckus. But then I see a pregnant woman in drag and a spiritual healer sitting with her legs crossed at a table filled with vegan food discussing chakras and doing a businessman's tarot cards and a million kids running around, and then I know I've got to the right place." She took off her coat and hung it up, and then turned to me. "I've missed you, Frank! And Gerard! Where is everyone?"

She put an arm around me and then we turned the corner into the living room area, now children's room, to have Mikey join us and to see the rest of his kids, along with Jasmine and Gerard on the couch. They were not as close as they were when I left. In fact, Jasmine had broken away and was now letting Rachel and Isaac touch her stomach, but over the dress. Mikey seemed to be explaining the science behind it to the younger kids and Gerard was there, listening with his arm on the back of Jasmine. As soon as he saw Vivian he got up with a smile and went to meet his old friend. They kissed on the mouth for a greeting, and then embraced in a tight hug.

"Already? Jeez, mom, get a drink first," I heard a voice snap from behind me and I turned around with excitement.

"Cassandra!" I exclaimed, though I was sure she didn't need to hear her own name yelled in her face. I was just so excited. I had forgotten how much I had missed hanging out late at night with her, talking about the women we were dating. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, the women she was dating appeared by her side. Noelle was the same height as Cassandra, and as I scanned the two of them, it became uncanny it how similar the two fifteen-year-olds were. They even dressed the same, with muted colors, high collared shirts with little skin visible, and a sort of demure and anticipated adult maturity. Their similar wardrobe made it harder and harder to believe that they did not go to a catholic school and wore required uniforms. The more I studied Noelle, though, the more I began to see the subtle differences. Her hair was darker and though cut the same way and the same length, had lighter streaks and was more styled. Her clothing was professional, but she broke the strict nature by wearing a button on her jacket label, several on her purse, and one on either side her cardigan pockets. Most of the buttons were about saving the arts, but there was a small one with a pink triangle on it. This was where Noelle differed. Although these were very small surface differences, the way she wore her hair (and then casually brushed that hair out of her eyes) and the small deviations on her clothing mattered. She liked to be expressive and to invite people inside her world. She was smart enough to not necessarily engage everyone right away, but she left markers there for conversation starters. She appeared softer and more personable than Cassandra who kept everything neat and orderly and didn't think about things. Noelle I felt like I could actually get to know, though we had barely been introduced.

When I stuck my hand out to meet her, she smiled and greeted me genuinely. I asked her about the one button she had on her purse (a tiny red one that had in capital letters SAVE LYNS) and she informed me about the dilemma the school she and Cassandra were attending was going through. They went to an art focused institution, and the board was undergoing budget costs that could put the entire school at risk. There had been fundraisers, meetings, and Noelle was on the student committee. I was surprised I hadn't heard about any of this, and turned to Cassandra. She was off to the side with her mother, clearly within earshot of our discussion, but determined to ignore it. Noelle explained it had only recently happened (which is why Vivian was not involved yet) and why Cassandra was the way she was. I knew how much she loved that school, even if she would not admit to loving a person, this was different because it was so connected with her own art. This was hitting her hard, but of course, didn't want to deal with it. So Noelle and I moved on just as quickly. She asked about the house, how long had we lived here, and then gave us what she had made. It was a baked casserole of some kind, and she had labeled what type of things she had put inside of it so we would know whether or not Jasmine could have it.

"Sometimes it's hard to know whether an item is actually vegan, or how someone feels about eating something specific, so I just wrote it all down for you guys. At least you can make an informed decision about it all," she explained nodding sincerely. She walked the few paces to Cassandra, and missing her involvement in the conversation, grabbed her arm and said, "Cassie helped too. She's as much a part of that as I am."

I saw Cassandra's face twist at the mention of the name Cassie. I smiled and thanked Noelle, and then said thank you to Cassie as well. I was teasing her, trying to get her to lighten up, and she knew it.

"I hate you, Frank," she said in reply. I knew that she only let Noelle call her Cassie. Maybe it was so she could just get sex and not deal with anything else, but I still doubted it.

"Oh, I missed you Cassandra. We need to catch up," I informed her. With Noelle's arm around her, and my acceptance of her insults, she seemed to come around. Her mood grew, and as she was leaving to head into the kitchen with Noelle to meet Jasmine and Hilda, she shouted out, "I have more tips for you!"

I laughed. I bet Hilda had some tips for me, as well, I thought to myself. I could definitely see the two of them - actually, everyone in that kitchen - getting along quite well. I was about to shut the door and go back to see Gerard in the next room when I realized that more people were heading up our driveway. There was no more room to park, so Callie and Dean had needed to park down the street and then walk all the way here. It had started to drizzle and the sun had already set, making it quite dark, and they nearly went past the house.

"Looks different at night," Dean said feebly. He waited for Callie and then held his arm out for her as she nearly tripped on a step. She was holding a bag full of food. It was definitely a last minute shopping purchase, but I was relieved to see it nonetheless. Callie had begun to explain to me that they had been called up last minute so they didn't have time to cook - let alone the skill, Dean added - but they went online and found PETA's Accidentally Vegan list and bought what they could from a grocery store. There were Oreos, corn chips, and random candy lining the bag. I told them it was great (most of their loot made me feel like a student again) and I welcomed them inside.

I went into the kitchen to take a look at the smorgasbord we had started getting. Vivian had brought vegetables and fruit and that made a nice, healthy balance to the table, along with the main course from Jasmine and Hilda (perogies and coleslaw) and Cassandra and Noelle (chickpea curry casserole), and then the snacks from the two graduate students, Gerard's wine, and Alexa's banana bread. I was relieved to see this much food in front of us. Jasmine would have never admitted it, but her eating patterns had started to get strange now that she was pregnant and was seemingly always hungry. Anytime I slept in her room now, I saw protein bar wrappers in her garbage and crackers in her drawers. She seemed to have a stash of peanut butter in every room and on more than one occasion had gotten up in the middle of the night and saw her in her study, eating peanut butter from the jar and writing. I was getting worried about the variety in her diet, but looking at all the dishes we had now, I felt immensely better. And hungry, too. I opened up the corn chips and began to munch down. I grabbed the paper plates and cups I had bought earlier that week (my contribution to the affair) and left them out for people to serve themselves when the time came to. We were still missing Lydia, though it wasn't quite the seventy-thirty when we had asked everyone to show up. I walked back into the hallway and overheard Alexa talking to Cassandra and Noelle.

"You haven't held Jonah yet either!" she exclaimed, and then plopped her son in yet another person's arms. For the first time since Alexa had begun this habit, I became worried for Jonah's safety. Cassandra hated kids so much, from what I had seen in the past, and I worried she would literally be so shocked by the baby's presence that she would drop him. Instead, it looked like Alexa had stabbed her with the presence of the baby, but instead of retaliation, Cassandra bared the wound. At first Jonah was tight to her chest, and then she eventually extended her arms and held him out. I was getting worried again, but the saw the way she was actually passing Jonah to Noelle, and felt better. Noelle took the baby willingly and began to rock him back and forth. He was kicking again, so she saddling him up on her waist and moved around with him.

She saw me watching her and commented, "I'm the oldest with four brothers. I've handled this before. Kind of like it."

"Glad that makes one of us," Cassandra said. Though she was putting up the front of not caring and being extremely callous, she kept watching the baby out of the corner of her eyes. I smiled, only to realize that I had been wrong. She was actually watching Noelle out of the corner of her eyes. It wasn't quite what I had thought at first, but I was glad that Cassandra - Cassie - had someone to share her life with, even if it was only temporary by her standards - and just for sex.

"I heard you two have been put down for babysitting duty?" Mikey said. He came in from the side room. Elizabeth had clung herself to his body. She was already tired, apparently having maxed out her energy resources from all the running around she had done. I peered past Mikey's long body and saw that David had taken up one of the couches in the next room and was fast asleep. Meanwhile, just as Mikey had said, Isaac and Rachel were now having a great time.

Cassandra groaned. "I guess."

Callie and Dean, who had been awkwardly drinking wine from the paper cups and watching everyone else, turned their attention towards us. They had been planning on sticking around with Vivian all night, or at least Gerard, but the two of them had disappeared off somewhere. They needed an escape and a way to not feel so foreign around this many people. Like I had suspected before, they were distant cousins and this was more like a reunion for them, and not quite a party. They needed the out.

"We'll watch the kids. I mean, if you're okay with it Callie?" Dean asked. She nodded profusely.

"I mean, I'm sure you two want to get caught up with everyone else, right?" he asked, looking at Cassandra. Having already been given permission to have the night off, she ran away from the room filled with children and shouted a big "THANK YOU" as she pulled Noelle with her. They disappeared as well, and I wondered in what part of our house had suddenly become the new make out area.

"Thank you, then," Mikey said to the two graduate students. He gave them a quick rundown of the personalities, complexities, and names of each of his children before he handed Jonah over to Dean. He went off to find his wife, who was talking about what Tarot cards she wanted to do next with Hilda (The Lovers? Or The Hangman? There are too many choices). I wanted to go over there, too and ask her about the last one she had painted, but Dean had caught my attention.

"Thanks, man, for letting us come," he said it to me in a hushed voice, as if he was confiding something. Callie had gone off to get food.

"No worries. Are you doing all right?" I offered, and then the damn burst open. I wanted to talk to him a bit on a more personal level about my things, but it became quite clear that he was in no state to hear my own plights. He began to quake a bit as he spoke, but he was relatively strong. "I'm good. I'll be okay. It feels nice to be out with people, even if we are babysitting."

Дата добавления: 2015-11-14