Jeff and Emma decide what to do

Recorded voice: This is the Criterion cinema bringing you details of the very best in screen entertainment in North London. On Screen 1 we have the adult, action-packed adventure thriller Raw Deal starring Arnold Swarzenegger. Performances are at 2.45, 5.15 and 7.45. Showing on Screen 2 is Crocodile Dundee 2 with Paul Hogan. This wonderful comedy has performances at 3.00, 5.30 and 8.00. Finally, on Screen 3 another chance to see that romantic classic, A Room With A View, with performances at 3.45 and 8.15. May we remind patrons that smoking is only permitted in Screen 1. All tickets are priced at £2.60, with children half price. This is the end of the recorded announcement.

Jeff: What would you like to do then?

Emma: Well, there’s not much on TV, is there? Do you fancy a movie?

Jeff: Fine, but I don’t feel like going all the way into town. What’s on locally?

Emma: Well, I rang the Criterion earlier and they’ve got Raw Deal – you remember we saw something about it on TV last week.

Jeff: No, I don’t fancy that. Too much blood and guts.

Emma: I agree. Oh, there’s also A Room With A View. Why don’t we go and see that?

Jeff: We could but I’ve seen it.

Emma: Well, so have I.

Jeff: Sorry, I’d forgotten.

Emma: But it was so good I’d love to see it again.

Jeff: Oh, I would too but not just yet. I only saw it a short while ago.

Emma: OK. How about Crocodile Dundee 2?

Jeff: Crocodile Dundee! Why didn’t you say so? I loved the first one.

Emma: It was all right. Still, I’d rather we went to that than any of the others. There’s a performance at eight.

Jeff: Eight! Well, then it’s time we left.

Emma: Don’t panic. That’s when the performance begins. There’ll be adverts and trailers and things before the film actually starts. Crocodile Dundee won’t start till at least eight-thirty. We’ve easily got an hour.

Jeff: But I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since lunchtime.

Emma: I haven’t either. Let’s grab something on the way. A hamburger or something.

Jeff: Right. I’ll get my coat. Have you seen the keys to my car?

Emma: Weren’t they on the mantlepiece?

(from Think First Certificate, by J.Naunton. Unit 2)

UNIT 4

Lesson B

Finding out what’s on

Diana: Well, are we going to go out tonight, then?

Mary: Yes. Good idea! (Mm) What shall we do?

Dick: Let’s go to the pictures.

Diana: Yes, that would be quite nice.

Mary: Oh, is Ray coming?

Diana: Well, he said if we went to see a film, he’d definitely be coming, yes.

Mary: OK, so what’s on?

Dick: Mm.... I’ve been to the one at Walton Street. I went last week and I think they’ve got Annie Hall and Star Wars, I think. (Mm) I think Annie Hall ’s on at 8 o’clock (Yes) and Star Wars is on at quarter to 8, I think it is.

Mary: Quarter to 8.

Dick: Yes, I think it’s £1.

Mary: Ah. Uh-huh. £1 to get in?

Diana: Well, I’ve seen Annie Hall twice, you see, already (Mm) so I’d rather see something else. D’you know the Odeon?

Dick: In the Cowley Road?

Diana: Yes, that’s right.

Mary: Oh, I know, yes, and it’s really cheap to get in, isn’t it?

Diana: Yes, it’s only 50p.

Mary: Uh-huh.

Diana: Well, they’re showing Yellow Submarine.

Mary: W... What time?

Dick: Oh, I’ve seen it.

Diana: Oh, what a pity.

Diana: Well, we would have had a choice of performances, either 7 o’clock (No) or 9 o’clock.

Dick: I really don’t want to go and see that again. I’ve seen it on the television as well.

Diana: Don’t you like Beatles, Dick?

Dick: Well, yes, but it’s sort of ten years ago, isn’t it?

Mary: Oh.

Diana: Oh. OK.

Mary: So, well what about the Palace. D’you know it? It’s in...er...George Street - (Mm) because they’ve got The Deer Hunter on there.

Diana: The Deer Hunter? What’s that?

Mary: Well, it’s about American soldiers coming back from Vietnam. S’posed to be really good, and it starts at 8.30, but the only problem is, it may be a little bit expensive -... £1.30.

Dick: It’s violent though, isn’t it?

Mary: Well, I mean... not too violent. What d’you think? And we could meet, you see, we could meet Ray in the pub. There’s a pub opposite – more or less opposite.

Diana: Shall we meet earlier (Yes) at the pub?

Dick: Then we can have a drink.

Mary: Yes, OK. What does it...? So it starts at 8.30. (Mm)

Dick: Half past 7. Meet at half past 7.

Diana: OK, yes. Well, what shall I tell Ray? What if he can’t make the pub at half past 7?

Mary: Well, if he can’t make the pub, then he could meet us outside, half past 8.

Diana: OK, right. I’ll let him know.

(from Task Listening, by L.Blundell, J.Stokes. Unit 21)

UNIT 5

Lesson A

“Wouldn’t It Be Loverly”

All I want is a room somewhere

Far away from the cold night air

With one enormous chair.

O, wouldn’t it be loverly!

Lots of choc’late for me to eat,

Lots of coal makin’ lots of heat.

Warm face, warm hands, warm feet/ O … loverly.

(bridge) O, so loverly sittin abso-bloomin-lutely still.

I would never budge til spring crept over me winder sill.

Someone’s head restin’ on my knee

Warm and tender as he can be

Who takes good care of me, O

Wouldn’t it be /Loverly (2x) /Loverly (2x) / Loverly.

“The Rain in Spain”

- The rain in Spain

stays mainly in the plain.

- Again?

- The rain in Spain

stays mainly in the plain.

- I think she’s got it.

I think she’s got it.

- By George, she’s got it.

By George, she’s got it.

- Now once again,

where does it rain?

- On the plain.

- And where’s that soggy plain?

- In Spain, in Spain.

- In Hartford, Hereford, and

Hampshire

- Hurricanes hardly happen.

- How kind of you

to let me come.

- Now once again,

where does it rain?

- On the plain!

On the plain!

- And where’s that blasted rain?

- In Spain,

In Spain.

Pygmalion: Extract 3

Higgings (brusquely, recognizing her (Eliza) with unconcealed disappointment and at once, babylike, making an intolerable grievance of it) Why, this is the girl I jotted down last night. She’s no use: I’ve got all the records I want of the Lisson Grove lingo; and I’m not going to waste another cylinder on it. (To the girl) Be off with you: I don’t want you.

The Flower Girl Don’t you be so saucy. You aint heard what I come for yet. (To Mrs Pearce, who is waiting at the door for further instructions) Did you tell him I come in a taxi?

Mrs Pearce Nonsense, girl! What do you think a gentleman like Mr Higgings cares what you came in?

The Flower Girl Oh, we are proud! He aint above giving lessons, not him: I heard him say so. Well, I aint come here to ask for any compliment; and if my money’s not good enough I can go elsewhere.

Higgings Good enough for what?

The Flower Girl Good enough for ye-oo. Now you know, don’t you? I’m come to have lessons, I am. And to pay for em too: make no mistake.

Higgings (stupent) Well!!! (Recovering his breath with a gasp) What do you expect me to say to you?

The Flower Girl Well, if you was a gentleman, you might ask me to sit down, I think. Don’t I tell you I’m bringing you business?

Higgings Pickering, shall we ask this baggage to sit down or shall we throw her out of the window?

The Flower Girl (running away in terror to the piano, where she turns at bay) Ah-ah-oh-ow-ow-ow-oo! (Wounded and whimpering) I won’t be called a baggage when I’ve offered to pay like any lady. Motionless, the two gentlemen stare at her from the other side of the room, amazed.

Pickering (gently) What is it you want, my girl?

The Flower Girl I want to be a lady in a flower shop stead of selling at the corner of Tottenham Court Road. But they won’t take me unless I can talk more genteel. He said he could teach me. Well, here I am ready to pay him - not asking any favour- and he treats me as if I was dirt.

Mrs Pearce How can you be such a foolish ignorant girl as to think you could afford to pay Mr Higgings?

The Flower Girl Why shouldn’t I? I know what lessons cost as well as you do; and I’m ready to pay.

Higgings How much?

The Flower Girl (coming back to him, triumphant) Now you’re talking! I thought you’d come off it when you saw a chance of getting back a bit of what you chucked at me lastnight. (Confidentially) You had a drop in, hadn’t you?

Higgings (peremptorily) Sit down.

The Flower Girl Oh, if you’re going to make a compliment of it-

Higgings (thundering at her) Sit down.

Mrs Pearce (severely) Sit down, girl. Do as you’re told. (She places the stray chair near the hearthrug between Higgings and Pickering, and stands behind it waiting for the girl to sit down)

The Flower Girl Ah-ah-ah-ow-ow-oo! (She stands, half rebellious, half bewildered).

Pickering (very courteous) Won’t you sit down?

Liza (coyly) Don’t mind if I do so. (She sits down. Pickering returns to the hearthrug).

Higgings What’s your name?

The Flowr Girl Liza Doolittle.

Higgings How much do you propose to pay me for the lessons?

Liza Oh, I know what’s right. A lady friend of mine gets French lessons for 18 pence an hour from a real French genleman. Well, you wouldn’t have the face to ask me the same for teaching me my own language as you would for French; so I won’t give more than a shilling. Take it or leave it.

Higgings (walking up and down the room, rattling his keys and his cash in his pockets) You know, Pickering, if you consider a shilling, not as a simple shilling, but as a percentage of this girl’s income it works out as fully equivalentto 60 or 70 guineas from a millionaire.

Pickering How so?

Higgings Figure it out. A millionaire has about £150 a day. She earns about half-a-crown.

Liza (haughtily) Who told youI only -

Higgings (continuing) She offers me two-fifths of her day’s income for a lesson. Two-fifths of a millionaire’s income for a day would be somewhere about £ 60. It’s handsome. By George, it’s enormous! It’s the biggest offer I ever had.

Liza (rising, terrified) Sixty pounds! What are you talking about? I never offered you sixty pounds. Where would I get -

Higgings Hold your tongue.

Liza (weeping) But I aint got sixty pounds. Oh -

Mrs Pearce Don’t cry, you silly girl. Sit down. Nobody is going to touch your money.

Higgings Somebody is going to touch you, with a broomstick, if you don’t stop snivelling. Sit down.

Liza (obeying slowly) Ah ah ah ow oo o! One would think you was my father.

Higgings If I decide to teach you I’ll be worse than two fathers to you. Here! (He offers her his silk handkerchief).

Liza What’s this for?

Higgings To wipe your eyes. To wipe any part of your face that feels moist. Remember: that’s your handkerchief; and that’s your sleeve. Don’t mistake the one for the other if you wish to become a lady in a shop.

Liza, utterly bewildered, stares helplessly at him.

Mrs Pearce It’s no use talking to her like that, Mr Higgings: she doesn’t understand you. Besides, you’re quite wrong: She doesn’t do it that way at all (she takes the handkerchief)

Liza (snatching it) Here! You give me that handkerchief. He give it to me, not to you.

Pickering (laughing) He did. I think it must be regarded as her property, Mrs Pearce.

Mrs Pearce (resigning herself) Serve you right, Mr Higgings.

Pickering Higgings: I’m interested. What about the ambassador’s garden party? I’ll say you are the greatest teacher alive if you make that good. I’ll bet you all the expenses of the experiment you can’t do it. And I’ll pay for the lessons.

Liza Oh, you are real good. Thank you, Captain.

Higgings (tempted, looking at her) It’s almost irresistible. She’s so deliciously low - so horribly dirty -

Liza (protesting extremely) Ah-ah-ah-ah-ow-ow-oo-oo!!! I aint dirty: I washed my face and hands afore I come, I did.

Pickering You are certainly not doing to turn her head with flattery, Higgings.

Mrs Pearce Oh, don’t say that, sir: there’s more ways than one of turning a girl’s head; andnobody can do it better than Mr Higgings, though he may not always mean it. I do hope, sir, you won’t encourage him to do anything foolish.

Higgings (becoming excited as the idea grows on him) What is life but a series of inspired follies? The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn’t come every day. I shall make a duchess of this draggle-tailed guttersnipe.

Liza (strongly deprecating this view of her) Ah-ah-ah-ow-ow-oo!

Higgings (carried away) Yes: in six months - in three if she has a good ear and a quick tongue - I’ll take her anywhere and pass her off as anything. We’ll start today: now! This moment! Take her away and clean her, Mrs Pearce.

(from Headway Advanced, by J. and L.Soars. Unit 13B. Extract 3)

UNIT 5

Lesson B

Why can’t the English …

Why can’t the English teach

their children how to speak?

This verbal class distinction

By now should be antique

If you spoke as she does say

Instead of the way you do,

Why, you might be selling flowers, too.

An Englishman’s way of speaking

absolutely classifies him,

The moment he talks, he makes

other Englishmen despise him.

One common language, I’m afraid, we’ll never get.

Oh, why can’t the English learn to set

a good example to people

Whose English is painful to your ears?

The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears

They are even places

Where English completely disappears

In America they haven’t used it for years!

Why can’t the English teach

their children how to speak?

Norwegians learn Norwegian,

The Greeks are taught their Greek,

In France every Frenchman

knows his language from A to Z,

The French never care, what they do actually,

as long as they pronounce it properly!

Arabians learn Arabian

with the speed of summer lightning,

The Hebrews learn it backwards

Which is absolutely frightening.

But use proper English,

you’re are regarded as a freak!

Why can’t the English,

Why can’t the English

learn to speak.

(a song from the musical My Fair Lady)

UNIT 6

Lesson A

My Fair Lady

RECORDING 1

I’m an ordinary man

Who desires nothing more than

Just the ordinary chance to live

Exactly as he likes and do

Precisely what he wants

An average man am I, of

No eccentric whim

Who wants to live his life

Free of strife, drink

Whatever he thinks is best for him.

Just an ordinary man.

But let a woman in your life

And your serenity is through

She’ll redecorate your home

From the cellar to the dome

Then get on to reenthralling

Fun of overhauling you.

Oh, let a woman in your life.

And you are up against the wall

Make a plan and you will find

She has something else in mind

And so rather than do either

You do something else that

Neither likes at all.

You want to talk of Keats or Newton

She only wants to talk of love.

You go to see a play or ballet

And spend it searching for her glove.

Oh, let a woman in your life

And you invite eternal strife

Let them buy their wedding bands

For those anxious little hands

I’d be equally as willing

For a dentist to be drilling

Than to ever let a woman in my life.

I am a very gentle man

Even-tempered and good-natured

Whom you never hear complain

Who has the milk of human kindness

By the quart in every vein

A patient man am I, down to my fingertips

Who swore he never could

Ever would let an insulting

Remark escape his lips.

Just a very gentle man.

But let a woman in your life

And patience hasn’t got a chance.

She will beg you for advice

Your reply will be concise

And she’ll listen very nicely

Then go out and do precisely

What she wants.

You were a man of grace and polish

Who never spoke above a hush

Now all at once you are using language

That would make a sailor blush

Oh, let a woman in your life

And you are plunging in at knife

Let the others of my sex

Tie the knot around their necks

I’d prefer a new edition

Of the Spanish inquisition than

To ever let a woman in my life

I am a quiet living man

Who prefers to spend his evenings

In the silence of his room

Who likes an atmosphere

As restful as an undiscovered tomb

A pensive man am I, of

Philosophic joys

Who likes to meditate,

Contemplate

Free from humanity’s mad,-

Inhuman noise.

Just a quiet living man.

But let a woman in your life

And your sabbatical is through.

In a line that never ends

Comes an army of her friends

Come to jabber and to chatter

And to tell her what’s the matter

Is with you.

She’ll have a booming, boisterous family

Who will descend on you a mess

She’ll have a large vagnerian mother

With a voice that shatters glass,

Oh, let a woman in you life!

Let a woman in your life!

Let a woman in your life!

I shall never let a woman in my life.

RECORDING 2

Liza (speaking with pedantic correctness of pronunciation and beauty of tone) How do you do Mrs Higgings? (she gasps slightly in making sure of the H in Higgings, but is quite successful) Mr Higgings told me I might come.

Mrs Higgings (cordially) Quite right: I’m very glad indeed to see you.

Pickering How do you do, Miss Doolittle?

Liza (shaking hands with him) Colonel Pickering, is it not?

Mrs Eynsford-Hill I feel sure we have met before, Miss Doolittle. I remember your eyes.

Liza How do you do? (She sits down on the ottoman gracefully in the place just left vacant by Higgings)

Mrs Eynsford-Hill (introducing) My daughter Clara.

Liza How do you do?

Clara (impulsively) How do you do? (she sits down on the ottoman beside Liza, devouring her with her eyes).

Freddy (coming to their side of the ottoman) I’ve certainly had the pleasure.

Mrs Eynsford-Hill (introducing) My son Freddy.

Liza How do you do? A long and painful pause ensues.

Mrs Higgings (at last, conversationally) Will it rain, do you think?

Liza The shallow depression in the west of these islands is likely to move slowly in an easterly direction. There are no indications of any great change in the barometrical situation.

Freddy Ha! Ha! How awfully funny!

Liza What is wrong with that, young man? I bet I got it right.

Freddy Killing!

Mrs Eynsford - Hill I’m sure I hope it won’t turn cold. There’s so much influenza about. It runs right through our whole family regularly every spring.

Liza (darkly) My aunt died of influenza: so they said.

Mrs Eynsford-Hill (clicks her tongue sympathetically)!!!

Liza (in the same tragic tone) But it’s my belief they done the old woman in.

Mrs Higgings (puzzled) Done her in?

Liza Y-e-e-e-es! Lord love you! Why should she die of influenza? She come through diphtheria right enough the year before. I saw her with my own eyes. Fairly blue with it, she was. They all thought she was dead; but my father he kept ladling gin down her throat till she came to so sudden that she bit the bowl off the spoon.

Mrs Eynsford-Hill (startled) Dear me!

Liza (piling up the indictment) What call would a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza? What become of her new straw hat that should have come to me? Somebody pinched it; and what I say is, them as pinched it done her in.

Mrs Eynsford-Hill What does doing her in mean?

Higgings (hastily) Oh, that’s the new small talk. To do a person in means to kill them.

Mrs Eynsford-Hill (to Eliza, horrified) you surely don’t believe that your aunt was killed.

Liza Do I not! Them she lived with would have killed her for a hat-pin, let alone a hat.

Mrs Eynsford-Hill But it can’t have been right for your father to pour spirits down her throat like that. It might have killed her.

Liza Not her. Gin was mother’s milk to her. Besides, he’d poured so much down his own throat that he new the good of it.

Mrs Eynsford-Hill Do you mean that he drank?

Liza Drank! My word! Something chronic.

Mrs Eynsford-Hill How dreadful for you!

Liza Not a bit. It never did him no harm what I could see. But then he didn’t keep it up regular. (To Freddy, who is in convulsions of suppressed laughter) Here! What are you sniggering at?

Freddy The new small talk. You do it so awfully well.

Liza If I was doing it proper, what was you laughing at? (To Higgings) Have I said anything I oughtn’t?

Mrs Higgings (interposing) Not at all, Miss Doolittle.

Liza Well, that’s a mercy, anyhow. (Expansively) What I always say is –

Higgings (rising and looking at his watch) Ahem!

Liza (looking round at him; taking the hint; and rising) Well: I must go. (They all rise. Freddy goes to the door). So pleased to have met you. Goodbye. (She shakes hands with Mrs Higgings).

Mrs Higgings Goodbye.

Liza Goodbye, Colonel Pickering.

Pickering Goodbye, Miss Doolittle. (They snake hands).

Liza (nodding to the others) Goodbye all.

Freddy (opening the door for her) Are you walking across the Park, Miss Doolittle? If so –

Liza Walk! Not bloody likely. (Sensation). I’m going in a taxi. (She does out).

Pickering gasps and sits down. Freddy goes out in the balcony to catch another glimpse of Eliza.

(from Headway Advanced, by J. and L.Soars. Unit 6)

RECORDING 3

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