Chapter Thirty-Two

Catherine glanced at the clock as Hazel Holcomb came through the cafeteria line. It was exactly seven-fifteen am. Hazel joined her, carefully arranging her juice and Danish on the table before she began to speak.

"Are you ready to come back?" Hazel asked without preamble. It was Catherine’s first full day at the medical center in three months.

"I think so. I’ve missed it."

Hazel studied Catherine silently. She knew very well that Catherine had something on her mind. Whether Catherine knew that was another story. Hazel sipped her coffee and waited.

"Rebecca goes back to work today, too," Catherine added casually.

"Is she anxious to return?"

Catherine’s face lit up with a fond smile. "Cant wait."

"Are you ready for her to go back to work?"

"Terrified."

"Well," Hazel said in a satisfied voice, "now were getting somewhere."

She watched the play of emotions across Catherine’s face. Some kind of internal struggle was clearly raging. Knowing how long Catherine had waited to allow anyone into her heart, Hazel could only imagine what the loss of that love could cost. "You could have chosen someone in a slightly less dangerous line of work, you know. Goodness knows, there are plenty of women around here who have been interested."

"I didn’t fall in love with Rebecca because she’s a cop," Catherine answered defensively.

"Didn’t you?" Hazel probed.

"No! I fell in love with her because of who she is, not what she is!"

"Is there a difference?"

Catherine stared at her friend and mentor. Images of Rebecca passed through her mind. Rebecca leaning against a desk, cool and controlled, an intensity about her that aroused Catherine; Rebecca collapsing against her after orgasm, shedding tears for all the pain she couldn’t allow herself to feel at other times; Rebecca calmly staring into the eyes of Raymond Blake, knowing she would kill him.

"I’ve never wanted to admit that," she replied, a little embarrassed.

Hazel looked surprised. "Why, for heavens sake?"

"Because it means she’s never going to stop being a cop," Catherine said quietly. Her eyes, filled with sudden pain, met Hazels. "And I’m not sure I can live with it." She didn’t want to go on, afraid of where her words might lead.

"Talk to me about this," Hazel said gently. She sensed Catherine’s fear, but she trusted her strength as well. Catherine’s need to express these fears was the real reason she was here.

"That night in the boathouse Rebecca knew she might die, and she deliberately provoked him," Catherine began, her voice low and tormented. "She looked right into his face and she never wavered. I saw him shoot her, Hazel. I saw her body blown into the air; I saw her blood splash against the wall. She was lying in a pool of blood, completely still, and I thought she was dead. And do you know how I felt? Empty. My mind felt empty; my soul felt empty. If she dies, Hazel, I’m afraid Ill feel like that for the rest of my life!"

"Does she know how you feel?"

Catherine shook her head. "No. And I don’t want her to. Being a cop is too much a part of her. Shed die if she didn’t do this."

Hazel nodded, always having known that Catherine would love without reservation when she finally allowed herself to love at all.

"Then you’re going to have to love her enough to let her go each and every day," Hazel said.

Catherine stared for a long time at the cup clenched in her hands, feeling the sadness of acceptance. When she raised her eyes to Hazels, they were calm.

"I don’t have any choice. I wont give her up."

Rebecca settled into the seat next to Watts, content to let him drive, happy to be back in a world she knew. Watts hadn’t said much since the Captain announced that he had assigned them as permanent partners. Neither of them had protested. There was something Rebecca wanted to say, but, as usual, she was having trouble finding the words. Watts was strangely quiet as well.

"I got a kid, you know," he finally said, staring straight ahead.

"Oh yeah?" Rebecca responded noncommittally.

"A son. He’s a lawyer. He lives with another guy. They’ve been together ten years."

Rebecca too stared straight out through the windshield. "I never thanked you for that night we nailed Blake. I counted on you to save Catherine’s life. You came through for me."

He shrugged. "I couldn’t let him waste the doc. Guess I got a soft spot for dames. But you know, Frye, you can’t let yourself take’em too seriously. You’re finished if you do."

Rebecca smiled to herself, deciding not to be offended.

"She’s something special, Watts."

Watts shook his head in mock sadness. "Shit, Frye, you’re already a goner."

They laughed and drove off together, eager for whatever the streets might hold.

Дата добавления: 2015-11-16