Thursday. June 11, 2015.

I woke up in a good mood today. Unbelievable situation. First of all I had a nice dream where I was with my friends in a forest and we were running from each other, laughing and trying to hide behind the trees. It was sunny there and warm and calm, but I have never seen those guys before. They all were my age, approximately seventeen or eighteen, all them were pretty, young and full of energy. The most hilarious thing is that I was different, very different. It almost seemed to me that it was another person but in fact it was me. Instead of my blond hair, I had dark, my eyes were not blue but green, also I wasn't that skinny as I am in real life, and I didn't have any depressive thoughts in my mind. I was absolutely happy and free. In my real life I have never felt as happy as I felt in my dream. It was a new feeling for me and I enjoyed it a lot, I was scary because of something new but more exited. When I woke up I realized that I want to replay my dream. I want to feel this but when I am awake. I want to be happy not only in my dreams. For the past five years, I ate the breakfast for the first time, moreover I came to my mom said “good morning” and kissed her. She didn't even answer me because she was shocked. I came to school, and at my classmates with different eyes. They were not that bad as I always thought. Some of them seemed even nice to me that day. They all were typical teenagers with their own problems, habits, dreams and wishes. I realized that I am not the only one who is trying to find a spot in the world. Everybody does the same but in a different way. It was probably the first time in my life when I didn't hate my classmates but I felt attraction to them. I really wanted to talk to them, to know what is happening in their lives, what are their hobbies. They were people with whom I wanted to spend time not only in school. In four days our graduation should happen and surprisedly I was invited too. Alice, a girl from my class came to me today and said that everybody wants me to come because they feel sorry for the past 10 years. She also said that I was undeservedly treated like a shit by them and by inviting me for the graduation party they want to apologize. I looked at her, smiled and then realized that I didn't even respond her because I’ve been stupidly smiling for two minutes may be. It was one of the happiest moments in my life when I felt that may be I have a chance to find people who understand me and accept me. They have been studying with me for ten years, they've been always under my nose and once I lost a chance to be closer to them, because I simply couldn't force myself to trust them. It was my fault, I did the mistake, and I was ready to fix it.

Chapter 5

Дата добавления: 2015-11-16