I WANT TO BE ME!

I’m worried because at 23 I feel as if I’m just an extension of my mother. My personality is being suppressed inside, waiting to be developed. All my family are out-going, but I’m an introvert. When I do think of something to say, I usually miss the opportunity to say it. I’ve tried joining clubs but Mum just worried about me going alone. I don’t want to live in her shadow, but I haven’t the strength of character or confidence to help myself. I’ve no friends and I lean on my mother for everything, mentally and materially. I thought about getting a job abroad, anything that would take me away from her so I’d have to stand up for myself. Do you think that might work – that I’ll be able to establish my own identity if my mother’s not around?

5. Write a sentence summarising the problem. The key words will help.

6. a) The next letter is headed ‘Who has first call?’. Do you have any idea at all what the letter might be about?

b) As you read the letter, underline not more than 30 key words which summarise the writer’s problem

WHO HAS FIRST CALL?

My husband and I are teachers – both in our early 20s. We have been offered, and have accepted, an exchange job in New Jersey. We would have all expenses paid and the two American teachers who are replacing us in London have offered us their flat in New Jersey, while they live in our house. We have been very excited, but now there has been a catastrophe. My widowed mother was in a car accident and is now in hospital. She is in a coma but could come out of it, and then she would depend on me taking complete care of her, although it’s not thought that she would live long. When we telephoned New Jersey they were sympathetic but said we must either keep our date, or they must find two other teachers. This means we may never get another chance and it is so sad as it meant prestige and extra money for my husband. I am very torn. I want to stay with my poor mother, but the doctors warn me that she may linger on as she is, or be a permanent invalid. I am desperate. Who has first call? What I decide to do will affect my husband, and ought I not consider him? They want us as a pair – we would have to work together.

8. Now compare your version with that of your friends. Have you underlined different words? Which version is best?

9. Write two or three sentences summarising the problem. Do not write more than 45 words.

11. Look at the last letter again. Working with two or three others, list all the possible solutions you can think of. Decide which of these you favour. Then write an answer to the letter, in which you advise the woman what she should do.

TEXT 2

Exercise 1. Read and translate the text about the old Russian wedding ceremony.

· Pre-reading task: find the meaning of the following words and practise their pronunciation: splendour, nuptial, vow, suite, melodiousness, source, sew, jewellery, icon, loaf, maiden, garland, to swap, hop, sleigh, satin, velvet, to weave, veil, sermon, grain, ear, obedience, coin.

Russian Wedding

The modern wedding consists of the registration of the marriage, the wedding procession, dinner and honeymoon. But in the following text we shall speak about the old wedding tradition, with all its splendour, colourfulness and ceremony. Many of these traditions are thankfully coming back at the moment. And so, the day before the wedding itself, the last pre-nuptial parties – the stag and hen party – take place. On the day ofthe ceremony, the groom with his best men goes to the bride and gives the financial compensation forher. After the wedding vows, the young couple are met with bread and salt on the threshold of the house, and the guests shower them with coins and wheat. After the feast, they are accompanied to the bridal suite and woken the next morning. And all this is accompanied by songs, jokes and farewell speeches, which are so rich and colourful that it is practically impossible to translate them into another language while keeping the sense, subtext, and melodiousness.

But let us return to the source, to the traditions themselves, only a part of which we still observe nowadays.

When the time for the ceremony was approaching, the bride would be dressed in her most beautiful dress, on which would be sewn as much expensive jewellery as possible. This was always accompanied by the singing of special wedding songs. At the same time the tables would be set, covered with tablecloths and at the head would be prepared the places for the bride and groom. An icon would be placed above this spot, as well as an icon in each of the four corners.

In the meantime, the groom would be being dressed in his wedding costume in his parents’ house. The priest was earlier always amongst the groom’s guests.

When everything was ready in the bride’s house, she would be led with ceremonial-dances into the room where the meeting with the groom was to take place. Round loaves on which gold coins were placed were carried in front. Then came the candlesticks with candles on which silver rings had been put. The groom’s candlesticks and round loaves were carried in front of him, while hewas going to the bride. One person walked on each side and made sure that no one crossed their path. And only after them walked the bride. She would be placed on the spot designed for her, and her brother or another relative would be stood beside her. Only then would someone send for the groom and tell him that the bride was ready. When the groom’s parents got this news, they would pick up an icon which had been placed nearby. He would bow to their feet, kiss the icon, and be blessed. After this, the wedding procession would set off for the bride’s house. Her parents would meet the groom and lead him into the room where the bride was. On going in, the groom would bow to all four sides and go to his place. But as traditional joke, this place would be occupied by the bride’s younger brother who would leave only after the compensation had been paid.

After all this, the food would be laid on the table. The guests ate not in order to satisfy their hunger, but in order to honour the hosts. After the light meal, the maiden’s garland on the bride’s head was swapped for a woman’s headdress. One of the guests, dressed in a fur coat, would come up to her and wish her as many children as there were hairs in the fur. And the matchmaker would shower the young couple and the guests with silver coins and hops. Then the bride’s parents and the priest would bless the newlyweds while holding an icon in their hands, and the couple would go to give their vows. Sometimes the father would gently hit his daughter with a lash and say “Now the power over you is going to another” and would give the lash to the groom. He would take it and answer: “I accept, but I think that I will have no need for the lash”.

The sleigh, decorated with satin, velvet, foxtails, and ribbons, was already waiting in the courtyard. The bride and groom would go to the church in separate sleighs or carriages, and the groom had to arrive before the bride.

The way from the church gates to the place where the vows were made would be covered with weaves or carpets. After the vows, the bride’s veil was removed and the priest read a sermon, placed the bride’s hand, in the groom’sand told them to kiss. Then the priest gave them a cup of wine, from which each of them drunk three times. The husband, finishing the wine, threw the cup down and the couple would together stamp on it, repeating “Let us in the same way stamp on those who try to part us”. The priest broke the round bread into two parts and they were given to each set of parents as a sign that both families were now of the same table and would live in friendship, as two grains of wheat from the same ear.

The young couple would set off from the church to the husband’s house, where the groom’s parents were waiting with bread and salt. According to custom, the bride was supposed to cry a little bit at the table, expressing her sadness to be parted from her parents. Despite the fact that all sorts of food were laid in front of them, neither the bride nor the groom was supposed to eat or drink anything. After the third course, the young couple were led off to rest. Holding each other by the hand, the husband and wife went to the specially prepared wedding suite. The custom of taking one’s shoes off was observed. The wife had to take her husband’s boots off as a sign of her obedience, and a coin had been placed in one of the boots. If she took this boot off first it meant that her married life would be happy.

In the morning, the husband and wife were led to the baths with songs. They washed separately and the young wife with her husband went together to the bride’s house. The young husband thanked her parents for bringing up his wife and invited them to his place for a celebratory feast.

And on the third day the feasting at bride’s house began. Here the guests gave presents to the newlyweds and then in the course of the next year the groom was supposed togive them back presents of equal value.

The customs associated with weddingswere the same whether people were getting married for the first, second or third time. Although of course the church tried not to allow to get married a third time. It was also customary to celebrate wedding anniversaries. There are seven special ones, and each one has a special name. Those who had lived together for one year celebrated their cotton anniversary, for five years – wooden, seven years – bronze, twenty-five years – silver, forty years – ruby, fifty years – golden, and those who got to seventy five years together celebrated their Crown of State anniversary.

Exercise 3. Say it in another way.

a marriage ceremony; a party for men only; a party for women only; a wedding promise or declaration; a piece of metal, flat and round made by government for use as money; body and dress decoration; a single mass of bread, shaped and backed in one piece; a circle of flowers, leaves or both; to scatter smb. or smth. with smth.; a large horse-drawn vehicle with slides along show on two metal blades; the head of grain-producing plant; a covering of thin material or net for the head or face.

Exercise 4. Answer the following questions.

1. What is called a honeymoon? 2. What parties took place in old Russia before the wedding day? 3. Describe a usual wedding dress of a Russian girl. 4. In what way did the bride and her relatives meet the groom on the day of the wedding? 5. What was a traditional joke when meeting a groom in the bride’s house? 6. What traditional actions took place in old Russia after the compensation for the bride had been paid? 7. What was the meaning of a round loaf of bread broken in two parts? 8. What did the participants of the wedding ceremony do on the third day of the wedding? 9. Was the wedding tradition the same for the people getting married the second or the third time? 10. What wedding ceremonies are traditionally celebrated in Russia?

Exercise 5. Give the summary of the text.

TEXT 3

The Indian Wife

There are various ways by which to comprehend the culture of another country. One can sing the praises of its beautiful ancient temples and the greatness of its eternal literary tradition, or one can look into the world of a different culture by looking at...the wife. How do her husband, her children and society behave towards her? How does she perceive herself and what does she strive for? And if I can even in a cursory way answer these questions then it will help some people to understand better and feel closer to the beguiling and enigmatic country of India. Of course, one should not forget that India is a country where people of many religions and nationalities live side by side, and my account tries to describe a typical Indian wife who belongs to an upper middle class and caste.

For many centuries, the role-models for a wife have been the heroic and self-sacrificing wives of an ancient Indian epic poems, the Ramayan and the Mahabharat. The legend of Ghangjari, who covered her eyes with a blindfold for the rest of her life when she learned that she was to be married to the blind man, is passed down from generation to generation. The name of Savitri is always linked to the proverb about the ideal, utterly devoted wife. She ceaselessly pursued the god of death Yamu, until he gave her husband’s life back. The modern-day Indian woman is the same – her existence is utterly devoted to her husband’s needs, he is a god to her and her life finds real purpose next to him.

It is for this reason that in many Indian languages a married woman is referred to by the term which means “possessing a happy fate”. Her “happy fate” refers to a whole range of things – an engagement necklace, arm bracelets, rings for her toes, a nose ring and, of course, a red head-dress and a red spot on her forehead. The absence of the neck-lace, the bracelets or the red spot shows she is a widow – a bitter and unenviable fate. So if spot on the forehead has got pale or has smudged, people hint at it rather than talk about it directly in order not to invoke misfortune.

The everyday life of a wife is filled with concerns about her husband and his well-being: at all times she must radiate a welcoming air, carefully look after the home, spend money wisely and together with her husband, look after the children and the mother and father-in-law. In the morning she makes strong tea with milk and then wakes her husband. While her husband is rousing from sleep and enjoying the fragrant drink she prepares water for his morning wash and lays out clean clothes for him, lays out the breakfast and packs lunch in metal lunch-boxes which the husband and children will take to work and school. She herself can only eat once her husband is fed, and in the most orthodox families, from the same tray, where the loving husband puts aside some not too bad pieces from his meal. When the husband is late coming back, his wife awaits his arrival with everything prepared and her hunger retreats before her feeling of duty. The wife rises before her husband and goes to bed after him; she does not sit until he has sat down and she tries to sit in such a way that she is below her husband. She must not walk in front of her husband, but a little behind him and never enters anywhere first. It simply never comes into her mind to express her disapproval in company, and she will ask advice of her husband on the smallest of matters. Her husband’s taste is the decisive factor in her choice of clothes and jewellery. And whereas such a situation may seem unenviable to someone with European views, the Indian woman relishes it.

Once my Indian friend was complaining about how his wife had gone to stay with her mother for a while: “While she is not here I haven’t once drunk reasonable tea, I don’t have any idea where my socks are and when I come back from work I don’t have anyone to tell my problems to!”

I. Glushkova

Exercise 1. Answer the following question.

1. How can you characterise India? Do you like this country? Why? 2. What Indian traditions do you know? 3. What is considered to be a role-model for an Indian wife? 4. What do you like in this model and what you don’t? Why? 5. In what way is a married woman referred to in many Indian languages? Do you think that it is also true for women of European countries? 6. What things are characteristic to a married woman in India? 7. What do they or their absence symbolise? 8. Describe a day of an Indian wife. 9. What national traditions should a wife in India follow? 10. Do husbands in India appreciate love, care and devotion of their wives? 11. What characteristic features of Indian marriage do you like? 12. Which of them you don’t like? Why? 13. Would you be able to follow such requirements? 14. What of the peculiarities of Indian wife’s behaviour do you consider might be useful for European women? Why?

Exercise 2. Find some additional information about family life of different peoples of the world. Use the information below as an example.

A

Arabs strongly value family ties and hospitality. Traditionally, Arabs have placed great importance on belonging to family or kinship groups, including the extended family, clan, and tribe. An extended family includes members of two or more generations, many of them sharing one home. A clan consists of several related families. A tribe might include hundreds of families. In the past, most social and even many business activities took place within these groups. Often, parents sought marriage partners for their children within the clan or tribe. The kinship system also stressed hospitality as a source of honor. A host who richly entertained a guest raised the standing of the entire tribe.

Today, some kinship ties have loosened, especially in the cities. The impact of Western values and the need for some people to move far from home to earn a living have tended to weaken family relationships. But for many Arabs, the family continues to be the main source of social and economic support. Many rural Arabs still live in extended families, and even most city dwellers live near relatives. Many Arab children are raised by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other relatives in addition to their parents. It is still common for parents to arrange their children’s marriages.

Traditionally, women formed the focus of family life. They supervised the raising of children, the preparation of meals, and the organizing of family celebrations. In some countries, economic pressures and educational opportunities have led a growing number of women to work outside the home.

B

Family life has always been extremely important in Chinese culture. Before 1949, some Chinese lived in large family units. As many as 100 or more relatives lived together under the rule of the oldest male. The ideal was “five generations under one roof.” However, those who lived this way were mainly the families of rich rural landowners, wealthy merchants, and government officials. Among the common people, most households consisted of only parents and children, but some also included grandparents and uncles. Today, the Chinese live in these smaller types of family units.

In the past, only men were expected to work outside the home. But today, almost all adults have a job. In many families, a grandparent looks after the house and children during the day. More and more children attend nursery school and kindergarten so that both parents can be free to work.

Relationships within Chinese families have become less formal and more democratic. Parents no longer expect their children to show unquestioning obedience. In the past, a father could legally kill his children if they disobeyed him. Young people today generally choose their own marriage partners on the basis of shared interests and mutual attraction. However, parents still play a role in arranging some marriages, especially in rural areas. Any couple would at least consult their parents about such a major decision.

Chinese families traditionally valued sons far more than daughters. A husband could divorce his wife if she failed to give birth to sons. In some cases, daughters were killed at birth because girls were considered useless. Today, social policy in China stresses that girls as well as boys are valued. The Communist government strongly supports the idea that women should contribute to the family income and participate in social and political activities. Women do many kinds of work outside the home. Many young husbands share in the shopping, housecleaning, cooking, and caring for the children to show that they believe the sexes are equal. However, equality between the sexes is more widely accepted in the cities than in the countryside.

СПИСОК ИСПОЛЬЗОВАННОЙ ЛИТЕРАТУРЫ

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АУДИРОВАНИЕ

1. Dialogue. Talking Topics, Gaynor Ramsey, Virginia LoCastro, Longman Group UK Ltd, 1997, p.39

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4. A Marriage Agreement. North Star Focus on Listening and Speaking (Intermediate), Helen S. Solórzano, Jennifer P. L. Schmidt, Addison Wesley Longman, Inc., 1998, p. 182-191

5. Punishment. A Radio Report. North Star Focus on Listening and Speaking (Intermediate), Helen S. Solórzano, Jennifer P. L. Schmidt, Addison Wesley Longman, Inc., 1998, Introducing the topic, Listening for main ideas, p. 157-165

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